Chapter 10: Ukyo Faces the Judge

The two young women faced the officer as the judge walked away. The cop looked impassively back at them. "You might as well go home, ladies," he told them. "Ranma's surrounded by cops and all of them know you two are not to go near him. It's time to grow up – he is trying to, like it or not."

"Ranma belongs to me!" Shampoo hissed.

The officer growled at Shampoo, "I think your visa about to expire, little lady. There's nothing here for you. Ranma is a citizen of Japan and a free person under our laws. Even by the laws of China, Ranma is a free person, bound to no one." The officer grinned maliciously and went on: "And before you say that the laws of some backwards little village trump all others, I wonder what would happen if someone was to whisper in the ears of the Chinese Ambassador about a small village declaring its independence from China."

Ukyo started to panic. Shampoo looked like she was going to kill the officer when the man held up his radio – he was holding the transmit button. "I just sent that idea out to two hundred cops," he told her quietly. "Think you can kill us all, before one of us makes the call? Think your village will survive if you start an international incident? The Chinese will bomb your village out of existence claiming it never existed. Then they will claim you are nothing but a deranged homeless mad woman. Can you live with yourself knowing your actions led to the total destruction of your precious people?" He grinned at her again. "It's your move, little lady."

Shampoo clenched her jaw and spun away from the officer. Then she stormed out of the hospital lobby, not trusting herself to say a word. Ukyo slumped against the wall in relief. The police officer watched her go calmly. He turned to Ukyo and said: "You know, I've wanted to do that for nearly two years now. I think it was actually worth the wait."

Ukyo looked at him in disbelief. "Are you out of your bloody mind?" she asked him in a slightly hysterical voice. "She could have killed you!"

He shrugged. "Every day I come to work and put myself on the line. It's the same for any cop on the planet." He made a show of looking at his radio. "Oh look," he said. "I never even turned on the radio. Tsk. Tsk. How careless of me."

Ukyo eyes became real wide and her mouth fell open. Then she snapped her mouth shut into a tight line and mimed strangling the officer from where she was slumped against the wall. "Hey," the officer said. "I couldn't take the chance someone would actually carry through with the idea." Then he became thoughtful. "Still," he added. "It's probably worth writing down somewhere in case she does come back for me."

Ukyo shook her head as she rolled her eyes. Then she said: "I don't think you really have to worry about her. If she does do it, I'll pass the word." Ukyo pushed herself off the wall. "Look, I understand I can't see Ranma, but could you give Ranma a message for me or give it to Doctor Ando to pass on, when the time is right?"

"Depends on the message, Ms. Kounji," he answered.

Ukyo took a deep breath. "Fine. Tell Ranma I'm sorry for last night. I should have left him alone before now. I accept his decision – we are done. I'll settle the lawsuit with his mother and the Tendos. But I want Akane and him back. I'm willing to apologize. I'll even stand up for them at their wedding, but I want them back as my friends. When they are ready that is," she said.

The policeman looked surprised, and then a little thoughtful. "Admittedly, I don't mind passing that along to Ando, but I want you to do something as well." Ukyo just nodded. "Soon, the judge will want to speak to you. He may even track you down to do it." Ukyo nodded again. "I don't want you to lie to him, but if you could avoid certain mystical references, it would be appreciated. He knows Ranma's a hermaphrodite, but he doesn't know about the shape change."

"Hey, I understand. I don't want anyone poking or prodding me either," Ukyo said with a slight smile.

"Just so we are on the same page – we all have secrets we want to keep," he added quietly. She just nodded. The two made small talk for a few minutes before Ukyo prepared to leave.

Just as she was saying goodbye to the officer, the judge returned. "Excuse me, but it was Ms. Kounji wasn't it?" he asked.

Ukyo gave a polite bow to him, "Yes, your Honor. Just so you know, I'm giving up and going home. The officer has agreed to give Dr. Ando a message for me, and the contents of the message are not secret. I won't trouble you again."

"That's fine Ms. Kounji, but if you have a few minutes, I'd really like to ask you a few questions. I think you'll give me better answers than Ms. Xian Pu," the judge said.

Ukyo was careful not to look at the police officer. "I can do this," she thought. "My mind is working better than it has for a while, and better to do it now before I start mooning over Ranma again." Out loud, she said. "All right, but keep in mind that I have a restaurant to run and I need to get back for the dinner rush. My assistant has gotten a lot better, but I don't really want to leave him alone." She went on: "And you're buying me a soda – I'm dying of thirst."

The judge chuckled at that and motioned for her to follow him. Ukyo waved at the policeman and followed the judge over to the vending machines. He bought her a cola and they settled into two chairs across a small table in the hospital lobby. The judge immediately began asking her questions: "You own a restaurant in town?"

"Yes," Ukyo said – she had to be a little careful here. Strictly speaking, she was not of legal age and had acquired the capital for Ucchan's using some less than truthful documentation. "It's a small Okonomiyaki restaurant not far from one of the precinct stations."

"And you run it yourself?" he asked.

"I have an assistant, Konatsu – he's learning the trade slowly but surely," she answered brightly, bringing her perky personality to the forefront.

"And the other woman, Ms. Xian Pu was it? She owns a competing restaurant?" the judge prompted.

"Oh no, her grandmother owns the restaurant. The old woman cooks and runs the place. Shampoo is a waitress there," Ukyo said a little smugly. "And they don't make Okonomiyaki. It's a Chinese restaurant, so we are competitors only in that we compete for empty stomachs," she responded. She was confused by the satisfied look on the judge's face though.

"Forgive me," the judge said with a raised eyebrow. "But you also competed for Ranma? Or should I say Ranko?"

"If you know about him being a hermaphrodite, then you should call him Ranma. He's always leaned toward the Yang side of his personality. Ranko was a relatively recent development – it allowed him to learn about being female, but when push comes to shove, he's male. Besides, as a female, he was either the most tomboyish girl you ever saw or the most over-the-top woman you ever met." She rolled her eyes at this. "He has a tendency to over-act."

The judge smirked at this and then sobered. "You're dodging the question," he said gently.

Ukyo winced. "Yeah, sorry. Look, it's still painful for me. I only recently faced facts and I still have some grieving to do. It's funny though – the one who won his heart was the last one I thought he would have picked. Sometimes I didn't even consider her competition. Many people didn't consider her part of the Fiancée Brigade."

"The what?"

"People around here tend to use nicknames when they talk of others. The Fiancée Brigade was me, Shampoo (or Xian Pu I should say – but I mispronounce it to tick her off), and Kodochi Kuno. Others would join in and fade out, but we were the three who tried the hardest. None of us won though," she said with a sigh.

"He fell in love with Akane Tendo, didn't he?" the judge asked gently.

Ukyo wiped away a tear and then straightened up. "Yes, 'his Tomboy' as he now calls her – it use to be 'the uncute Tomboy', but now she's 'his'. The young woman who's a lousy cook, can't maintain a house, and is nearly as rough and tumble as he is. But she was always his friend first, even when she was furious with him. And as much as I hate to admit it, while she's not a classic beauty, she is 'cute' and she cleans up rather well." She sighed again. "Look, can we change the subject? I may be growing up, but I'm not there yet."

The judge recognized the raw pain the young lady was suppressing and decided not to rub any more salt in her wounds. He cleared his throat and said: "Look, as you mentioned, the people around here tend to use nicknames, especially for the younger set. Could you help me decode some of them? I think you are 'the Cook'…"

The young lady perked up at that. "Really?" she said. "I rather like that," she added happily.

The judge nearly laughed at the change in the young woman, but suppressed it. "I think 'the Little Missy' is Akane Tendo…" He had to stop as Ukyo burst out laughing.

"Oh gods," she laughed. "She'll kill them. It fits well, but she'll kill them. Don't call her that to her face." Ukyo laughed again. "It fits really, really well."

"Who is 'the Smile'?" Sanu asked.

"That's easy – Kasumi Tendo. She walks around with a perpetually serene smile. Always. It has to be a mask given all the craziness around her, but I've never seen it break yet," Ukyo answered.

"Then 'the Swordwoman' is Ranma's mother, Nodoka Saotome," Sanu concluded.

Ukyo winced again at that. "Yes, she used to always carry a sword wherever she went."

"Why?" the judge asked.

Ukyo sighed. "Look, Ranma's mother used to be two cards shy of a full deck. I'd love to say it was all Genma's fault, but she was broken before he ever got to her. Lately though, her behavior has changed. The sword has vanished, she seems happier, she no longer constantly prattles on about 'honor', and she certainly more of a mother to Ranma. I'm not sure, but I think she got help. I don't know for certain, but it would explain the recent changes. I do know everyone (and I mean 'everyone') is a lot more relaxed around her. Several people have actual started to make her acquaintance now and find her a nice person."

"All right,' said the judge. "I'll keep that in mind. I assume then that 'the Bastard' is Genma Saotome?"

Ukyo's eyes became very cold. "That's too kind a word for him. Everything that is wrong with Ranma or in Ranma's life is Genma's fault. I'd love to say he's an evil man, but I think he's actually too stupid to do evil any justice. I hope what I've heard about Ranma throwing the old man out of his life is true – I hope it with every fiber of my being. Ranma (and Nodoka) would be so much better without him."

If he had to judge someone solely by the look in Ukyo's eyes, Judge Sanu would swear Genma was the devil. He wanted to ask further, but felt that he'd never get an unbiased answer from the young woman about Genma. Instead he asked, "Who's 'the Spy'?"

Ukyo's eyes warmed up (not hard to do from Absolute Zero). "Another easy one – Nabiki Tendo, the middle Tendo sister."

"Middle sister? Who's the elder one?" he asked.

"The birth order is Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane," Ukyo replied.

"Oh, I thought Kasumi was Soun Tendo's wife," the judge said with a little confusion.

"No, but I could see how you'd think that if you haven't met the family. Kasumi is nearly 22 years old now – her birthday is next month. Beyond a doubt she is the most responsible person in that household. Even Nodoka follows her lead. Despite appearing as the meekest one, she's the family Matriarch. No one will cross her, not even her father – not unless they want bread and water for the next three months. She's actually engaged to Doctor Tofu Ono."

"Tofu?" the judge said in surprise. An uneasy feeling started in the pit of his stomach. "It couldn't be him!" he thought. "There's no way a 22 year old girl is going to marry an eighty year old man!"

Ukyo misunderstood what the judge was thinking. "Doctor Tofu isn't quite old enough to be her father. He looks rather good for a man in his late thirties/early forties," she said firmly. "I'm not quite sure how old he is, but he acts young enough – maybe a little too young sometimes."

"What? Oh, sorry. I meant no disrespect for the Doctor. I haven't even met him yet, so I have no real opinions of the man," Sanu said.

"He's a very good doctor," Ukyo stated.

"Again, no disrespect. Who is 'the Pig'?"

"That's got to be Ryoga Hibiki. Don't let the name fool you. He's no longer the animal he used to be. He and Ranma are foster brothers. They use to fight tooth and nail, but now they are friends. Ryoga's grown up quite a bit. He's engaged to a very nice girl named Akari and they live about an hour or so north of Nerima. He's turned out well enough that I'm sort of sorry he's engaged now. I might have had a chance of snagging him if I hadn't been so fixated on Ranma," she shrugged.

"And the Ghoul?" Sanu asked.

"That's Shampoo's grandmother, Cologne. She says she's well over a hundred years old and she looks the part. While she's not exactly a wicked old witch, she's not a kindly old witch either. Be on your guard and only believe half what she tells you." Ukyo glanced at her watch. "Look, I really need to get back…Do you have any questions that won't wait?"

"Just one more, Ms. Kounji." The judge pointed up, obviously indicating the patient rooms. "Himself?"

"Yes," she half-smiled. "The High Lord of Chaos. Occasionally called Herself."

"Why is he so well-known around here?" the judge had to ask.

"Well, it's not like true hermaphrodites are a dime a dozen," Ukyo laughed.

"Even so…" the judge prompted.

"You have to meet Ranma when he's well to understand," she said. "Every move about him screams 'Look at me!' – even when he's just walking to school (or rather running – he's always late). Beyond that, although he often acts quiet and withdrawn, he still notices people around him, especially those in trouble. Honestly, he is incapable of walking away from someone who needs help. Got a problem? – Go see Ranma. Everyone in town knows that. Things will often get out of hand quickly, but in the end, it all works out. Ranma may take some damage from it, but if the person he's trying to help wins, he's all right with that. It's just who he is. And any kid around will tell you, if you're bored, go find Ranma, he'll find something for you to do. He's often responsible for impromptu soccer matches, or volleyball, or even hide-and-seek."

"I see," said the judge.

"Now, I really do have to go," she said. "Stop by for a snack if you have any more questions."

The judge stood up as she did. "I just may do that," he said.

Sanu watched the young woman leave. "Nice enough person," he thought. "But I think she can be pushy if things don't go her way, and there's a definite temper hiding there. She's an 'alpha female', much like the purple-haired girl. When two alphas get together, either mutual respect forms or intense competition does. Guess I don't have to ask what happened between her and Ms. Xian Pu. Akane Tendo also sounds like an alpha too, but they may have hit it off better – Ms. Kounji actually said some complimentary things about Ms. Tendo."

The judge pulled out his phone and called Ryuu again.

Ryuu was sitting in the hospital records room on the third floor in front of a computer. He was dressed as an inspector from the Board of Health. He had just pulled everything he could find on Akane Tendo, and was filing it away in his briefcase when his phone when off. "Ryuu," he answered.

"I just had a very profitable conversation with the Cook," Isao told him without any greeting.

"I'm all ears, Boss" Ryuu answered. He listened as Isao ran over everything.

"Not bad, Boss," he finally said when Isao ran down. "You didn't ask about the Book though."

"Ah, hell. I knew I forgot something," Isao replied.

"Ah, you still did well. Where do you want to go from here? Do we keep watching over Ranma?" Ryuu asked. "We may have hit bottom with regards to the mystery around him."

"Possibly," Isao admitted. "But he's still a ward of the court and he's still my responsibility. I need to find out about his mother and father – there's something wrong there. He also has a foster brother, which means that the Court has intervened before. So there has to be a file somewhere around here."

"Judge Kato has Ranma's file. One of the clerks told me when I said I was looking for it for you," Ryuu supplied.

"Fine. I'll go after Judge Kato and get the file," Isao said.

"Anything you want me to do?" Ryuu asked.

"Yes, my friend – check the finger prints you got against the person everyone says is Ranma/Ranko. Let's nail down a positive ID once and for all. Then pull everything you can on Doctor Tofu Ono," Isao said.

"Tofu Ono?" Ryuu quizzed. "How old?" Meanwhile Ryuu pulled a copy of Tofu's records from his briefcase with a smirk.

"He's too young to be the Charlatan from what Ms. Kuonji said," Isao said. "But he may be the son or grandson. I don't like surprises and I don't want the Charlatan popping up unannounced."

"It's been nearly fifteen years, Boss. He's probably retired – he was a bit older than you after all," Ryuu pushed back while he was studying Tofu's picture.

"The Ono's are a small but powerful family, and they are very tight with each other. I want to know how many degrees of separation there are between the Doctor and the Charlatan," Isao answered.

"All right, Boss. I'll get to it after I check on Ranma," Ryuu promised. Isao thanked him and hung up.

Ryuu read through the file again. There was no doubt that this Tofu was related to the older Tofu. They came from the same branch of the family, and the Doctor had probably been named in honor of the elder. The two looked awfully similar allowing for the age difference. He was certain the Charlatan was about to enter their lives again. The thought gave him a slightly manic grin.

Judge Isao Sanu was Ryuu's best friend and Ryuu was well aware that the judge considered Ryuu as his best friend. Ryuu was also aware that he often played Watson to Isao's Sherlock, although Ryu considered himself closer to the judge's level than the mythical Watson had been to Sherlock's. Still, Ryuu was proud of the fact. However, Isao was always a little too sure of himself, and Ryuu loved seeing the rug pulled out from under him (so long as Isao took no real damage) – he wanted the judge to appreciate his humanity a little more. The Charlatan, who had once told Ryuu his real name was Tofu Ono, had been absolutely gifted at doing this and Ryuu knew that the judge was still trying to figure a rational explanation for some of the things the Charlatan seemed to pull off, despite repeated defeats. Isao was so sure there was an answer for everything somewhere – he was incapable of believing anything else (or of Belief in general).

Ryuu wasn't so sure. He had seen many things in his life that defied explanation and they didn't necessarily involve the Charlatan. And there was something about the Charlatan that intrigued Ryuu. The Charlatan always seemed to have the answers and you ignored him at your peril. The man had no birth certificate or any public records of any type except a government number; there was nothing behind the number. There was nothing in the press about him either. You never found him; he found you, usually by appearing as a street magician or doing a charity show and then singling you out. He'd give you a few leading words or a push in the right direction and then vanish into the street again. A few times, he showed up to pull either Ryuu or Isao out of a bad situation, and then vanish around a corner again (something that drove Isao absolutely mental), and they weren't the only ones he had saved…

Any time the Yakuza had tried to learn more about the Charlatan through normal investigative techniques, they always ran into dead ends. Trying to work through the Ono family led nowhere – none of the family would speak about the Charlatan other than to say he was one of them. Threatening the Ono family caused memory loss, especially to the ones doing the threatening. When one of those threatening people had been a major crime boss who had reverted in memory to 5 years old, the Yakuza immediately backed off any further intimidation techniques. Eventually, a red circle was drawn around the family – do not touch.

Now, Ryuu and Isao were going to cross paths with the Ono family again in the strange little ward of Nerima. Ryuu could feel the Charlatan lurking in the shadows. Maybe he was the real reason Sanu had been brought here in the first place, maybe not. Either way, Ryuu was looking forward to the encounter; he loved a good mystery. "This time, I'll be watching for you old man, and I'll get the answers. They may not do me any good, but I'll get them anyway," he promised.

Next: Kasumi's and Toshio Conversation

A/N: I added a few comments about the word "Airen" to my profile. Keep in mind, what a character says may or may not be what they believe, and what a character believes may or may not be what the author believes. This doesn't apply only to my stories...

A/N: 3/18/14 - Corrected some name misspellings. My thanks to Pursemonger for catching them.