A/N: I've been nervous about writing this chapter since I started Return to Me which is probably why it took 37 chapters worth to get here. I worry about being cliché, and I want to keep it cleanish.

Lusty described my thoughts on the Breaking Dawn honeymoon scene perfectly: Yeah, BD was a huge disappointment for me too. I completely adored the bedroom into beach scene. I loved how insecure Bella was and her fears etc. And you know that as she walked down to the shore, Edward knew she was there and as much as he wanted to turn and watch her, he didn't. He chose to make it easier for her sigh not to mention the thought of Edward stripping off as he made his way down the beach swooooooooooon and then ... nothing... grrrrr

I actually threw the book at the wall and then discovered fan fiction and became a porn addict/pervert. Geeze I think my sister told my mom I write this stuff, and she might read this. Oh well. She'd be proud, unfortunately.

Thanks to Twike the nice encouraging funny smart pretty Beta. Thanks also to AFK my kindred spirit and Lusty my favorite biotch for helping me with this chapter. I really don't like cussing – that's why I added the o. She also told me that it's a compliment in Scotland.

Oh yeah I also got a "Sex Scene Edward" doll from one of my friends to help me write this chapter. That was one of my most embarrassing moments ever… long story. Unfortunately his clothes don't come off so I can't see if he sparkles. OK I'm rambling. See I'm nervous.

Chapter 7 Connection

Bella could feel herself undergoing a transformation of sorts. Saturday morning she woke up and decided it was time to take what she wanted, and she wanted Edward. Of course Emmett ruined that for the moment. Part of her was humiliated, but the other part of her was empowered. She wanted Edward to hurry up and be done with his car so she took charge and got it done. Alice suggested they enjoy watching the guys move the furniture, and Bella decided that's what she wanted to do, so she did it. Bella found that she liked doing what she wanted. It felt good, and she was tired of expecting to feel bad.

The house was going to be her home as much as it was Edward's, and Bella wanted it to be hers. Bella decided to do what she wanted with the furniture. After a few tries, she knew how she wanted it, but she liked watching Edward work so she had him move it a few extra times just for fun. He did what she wanted. When she was satisfied with the work in the living room, she thought about what else she wanted. She wanted her bedroom to look like it didn't belong to a computer geek. Alice was responsible for most of Edward's wardrobe, and Sarah had obviously had good taste, but somehow Edward had managed to pick out his current bedding on his own. It needed to change. No, Bella wanted it to change.

Bella went home that night because she wanted to check on her granddad. She went to church the next morning because she wanted to, and then Edward took her shopping because she wanted him to. Bella bought what she wanted for the house, and she put it where she wanted. Edward got her what she wanted for dinner. She found herself wanting to share her fears about her dad with him, so she did. She wanted to sleep in his arms, so she did. Bella could get used to getting what she wanted.

A few days later, Bella was going to do something she'd wanted to do for a long time. The first printed copy of her book arrived from the publisher, and she wanted to surprise Edward with it. She wrapped it in a box with a lid and tied a ribbon around it. She couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he opened it. He was going to be thrilled.

Bella tried to make sure everything was just right. She put on his favorite blue dress and wore her hair down just like Edward liked it. She tucked the box safely in the seat next to her and drove from her apartment to Edward's house – no, to their house. Edward promised he'd take care of dinner so Bella assumed they would be going out. When she arrived, there was something she didn't want parked in the driveway. Tori. Tori was at Bella's house. Of course she would try and ruin the moment Bella had been longing for. Tori was evil. Tori was the devil. Tori needed to die. Breathe Bella. She reminded herself that it would be difficult to promote her book from prison.

Bella walked inside and glanced around the living room. No one was here. She looked in the kitchen and the library – empty. She went to the backyard and found Aro all alone. She scratched him behind the ears and went back inside. A tiny part of her started to freak out. Edward wouldn't… he couldn't. Bella was relieved to find the bedrooms empty as well. They must be in Edward's office. Bella climbed the stairs to the third floor. The last bedroom and the theater were still being worked on, but Edward's office was finished. She could hear voices coming from the other end of the hall.

Bella stood in the doorway and watched Edward and Tori sitting side by side at Edward's desk. Edward was talking about hacker magazines, and Tori was nodding like this was the most fascinating conversation she'd ever had. Bella felt a low growl start in her chest. She pictured herself launching with super human powers across the room and shoving fire crotch to the ground away from Edward.

"See this is why I wanted to work for you. I've never known anyone with your skills," Tori gushed at Edward. Bella swallowed the vomit that made its way up her throat.

"You're good at this too. You've got talent," Edward replied. Now Bella pictured herself attacking Edward.

"Yeah, but you… you… wow."

"If you think that's cool, you should see my toilet," Edward laughed. What was he doing? Did he just offer to show Tori the place where he takes his pants off?

"Excuse me?"

"I set my toilet up with a remote control. I can push one button to open the lid, one to flush, there's even a self cleaning feature." Bella hated that damn toilet.

"I'd love to see that," Tori cackled.

"It's downstairs in the bedroom."

Enough. Bella did not want Tori in her bedroom. Bella wanted Tori gone. She cleared her throat and startled the two of them. She was instantly satisfied by the way Edward studied her body and practically darted across the room to touch her.

"Bella! You look so beautiful!" he said, and she could tell he meant it.

"Edward, the timer is going off downstairs." Whatever he was cooking would catch fire if he didn't do something about it.

"The dinner!" In a flash Edward was gone leaving Tori and Bella standing in awkward silence.

"So what are you doing here?" Bella asked Tori. There was no faked friendliness in her tone this time.

"I needed to show Edward some of the work I've been doing," Tori replied and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Edward was just telling me how talented I am."

"I'm sure you're more than happy to show your skills off for him, not that he'd bother to notice. I've pretty much got him whipped," Bella bragged.

"He's obviously crazy about you to have given up so much to be with you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Bella could tell it was meant to be harsh. She automatically assumed Tori meant that Edward was giving up the opportunity to be with someone smart and beautiful.

"He's so obviously settling for this little domestic family life. Owning a small company, contracting with small independent financial institutions – he should be doing so much more."

"What Edward does professionally has nothing to do with me." Edward had made up his mind about his business interests long before he ever met Bella, but she respected his choices.

"Right…you don't even realize, do you? Edward is a genius. I don't mean talented or good at his job – I mean a true genius. He could have so much more than this." Tori waved her hand across the room, but Bella didn't miss the fact that she was included in Tori's definition of this.

Of course Bella knew Edward was brilliant. Calling him a genius might be pushing it a little, especially with the way he'd been acting lately. Bella had enough of Tori's condescension. She took a step toward her, and Tori was smart enough to take a protective step back.

"Don't come into my house and tell me that I don't know MY Edward. You have no idea what he's been through, the personal pain he's had to overcome, the sacrifices he has made for the people he loves. I know him. I know who he is and what he has and has not settled for, and you will not come in here and try to ruin what we have. He may have settled for me, but he chose me. He wants me. If you have a problem with that, you probably need to find a new job." She did her best to control her voice. She didn't want Edward to come running back upstairs to try and mediate. It was too late. Edward came rushing into the room.

Tori's entire demeanor changed as she smiled and batted her eyelashes at Edward. "We were just talking about how wonderful you are."

"I heard what you were talking about, and I'll be honest - I don't like the way you talk to Bella. She's right, if you are going to continue working for me, I expect you to respect my family. For all intents and purposes, Bella is co-owner of my company, and you can consider her your boss as well."

Finally! Bella felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. Edward finally realized exactly what Tori had been doing… wait, did he just say boss? Take that biotch.

"Oh, of course. I was just… I was just…"

"Leaving," Bella finished her sentence for her. "Let me walk you to the door."

As they walked single file down the stairs, Bella felt could feel Edward's presence behind her. Hearing Edward finally fight for her and stop trying to remain neutral sent her heart all a flutter. All of her senses were suddenly attuned to his every movement. She could hear his hand brush the banister. She could smell the faint trace of his cologne mixed with garlic and something else. She glanced back and in her peripheral vision saw his eyes fixed on her legs as she walked. Bella held her head a little higher and showed Tori the way out. When she shut the door, she knew exactly what she wanted.

Bella held the doorknob for a few seconds trying to gain her composure and turned slowly to face Edward. She moved her eyes up his body much the way he had done to her when she arrived that evening. He was dressed casually with khaki cargo pants hanging low on his hips with no belt. His cotton blue t-shirt had red sauce splashed on the front, and she thought about telling him to wear an apron next time he cooked so he wouldn't ruin his clothes. But no, now was not the time to talk about stain prevention.

Bella stalked slowly toward him, and his eyes grew wide as he read her thoughts. She saw his Adam's apple move as he swallowed nervously and took a step back. Bella would not be deterred. She was taking what she wanted. She wanted Edward.

She reached him and grabbed his wrists in both of her hands and scooted him slowly backwards toward the couch with her knees. His breathing was heavy as he looked at her in shock. She continued to move him until he was sitting on the arm of the couch making his face level in height with hers. Bella released his hands and moved hers to his face. She stroked his hair and looked into his eyes. His expression was a mixture of happiness and disbelief. Bella moved her body between his knees and kissed his jaw tenderly. She trailed kisses across his jaw to just beneath his ear and down his neck. She held both of his shoulders with her hands and leaned back looking into his eyes searching for what she needed to know.

"Tell me you're mine."

"I'm yours?"

"No, not like a question," she corrected him.

"I'm yours," he said firmly.

Bella rewarded him by molding her lips to his slowly and tenderly communicating her depths of her love and appreciation for the way he made her feel. For the way he wanted her as much as she wanted him. For the way he proved again and again that she was everything to him.

Edward moved his hands up her sides and around her back thoughtfully caressing and caring for her body and soul. When she broke away and looked into his eyes, she saw his mouth start to move and prepared herself to be enveloped in his declarations of love and affection.

"I cooked you dinner," he said and smiled proudly.

"Oh?" Bella's voice was a mixture of sexy and confused. Why would Edward be thinking about food now?

He used his heart melting smile and turned her into a puddle of goo. He took one of her hands and led her to the kitchen. He pulled out a chair for her, got a salad from the refrigerator, and set the glass dish full of pasta on the table with a triumphant grin on his face.

Bella was a mess. She was part irritated that they were eating, part turned on and wanting to rip Edward's clothes off, and part touched that Edward would do something so adorable for her. She tried to meld the adorable part into the turned on part hoping it would result in something better than either one alone would have been.

Edward served her a plate and sat back to watch her eat. Bella remembered Rosalie telling her something about guys liking to watch girls put stuff in their mouths. She wasn't sure what that was all about, but she tried to look sexy as she took a bite of the pasta. Unfortunately, she didn't aim quite right and a splash of sauce dribbled down her chin.

Edward started laughing. Not exactly the effect she was going for. "So is it good?" Edward asked like an excited little puppy. Again, not exactly what Bella was going for.

"Yes, it's delicious." Bella was sincere, but it came out sounding unenthusiastic.

"I've been cooking it all day for you. I wanted this night to be special," he said with a twinge of disappointment.

Bella felt her face turn red. She thought it was obvious what she'd been trying to do, and he obviously thought eating with her was more important than doing other things with her. Maybe she wanted him more than he wanted her. Bella's eyes fell to her lap.

"What's wrong? If you don't like the food I can make you something else." He looked defeated.

"I just thought we were going to… you know, but then you were more focused on eating than the fact that I was trying to seduce you. It was like the other morning all over again when you were more focused on your stupid Volvo." She moved her food around on her plate with her fork and looked up at him for reassurance.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." Edward started banging his head on the table. "I am the biggest douche in the history of the world." He looked up at her and then went back to banging his head.

"Stop! What are you doing? You are not a douche!" Bella tried to grab him to keep him from hurting himself.

"I just had this night planned out. I was going to wine and dine you and be perfect and romantic, and then I was going to seduce you! I got excited earlier that my plan seemed to be working, but then I thought about my plan and realized I was getting ahead of myself. Arg! I'm such an idiot!"

"Edward," Bella said in a low voice causing his head to snap up from the table and look at her. "your plan is working." Her eyes conveyed the meaning behind her words, and Edward didn't miss the point this time. He slowly stood, reached out a hand to her, and pulled her up out of her chair. He softly brushed her hair behind her shoulder and Bella gave him permission with a slight nod. He lifted her off her feet and carried her effortlessly up the stairs to their bedroom never breaking eye contact with her.

In his eyes she found reassurance and peace and want and longing. There was a completeness there that overshadowed her every fear. Bella was unwavering in what she wanted, and she wanted Edward. That was until he set her gently on the bed. She tried not to break the spell his confidence had on her. She tried not to think about the fact that she had no idea what she was doing. She tried to ignore the fact that Edward was going to see that under her clothes she was actually quite chubby. She tried, she really, really tried.

"Bella, you're trembling," Edward said taking her hands in his.

"I'm just a little nervous," she admitted.

"It's okay to be nervous," he kissed her shoulder and traced his fingers lightly down her bare arm. "I don't want to do anything you're not sure of."

"I'm sure. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Whew, I'm glad you said that, because if you told me to stop now, I'd probably weep like a baby."

Bella smiled. She knew he was trying to help her relax. She closed her eyes, and let herself enjoy his touch. He sat down next to her on the bed. Their hands moved together as the two of them lifted his shirt over his head. Bella had seen him shirtless many times, but she gingerly lifted one hand to touch his collar bone and then ran it across his chest down his stomach appreciating every inch of him. Edward closed his eyes and smiled this time filling his lungs with ragged breaths.

He opened his eyes and put a hand on Bella's knee before bending over and moving down her calf and removing her shoe. He did the same with the other shoe before moving back up her leg and leaving his hand resting on her knee.

"I want to show you how much I love you. Let me show you how much I love you," he raised his other hand and rubbed her cheek with his hand. Bella bit her lip and gave him another small nod. "May I?" he asked as he moved his hand to the zipper of her dress. "Okay," she whispered.

Slowly and steadily Edward unzipped her dress and moved the straps from her shoulders, and began to kiss the newly exposed skin. Every touch and every whisper from that moment forward taught Bella what it meant to be adored, what it meant to be treasured.

The complete vulnerability and transparency of finally giving all of herself to him was the fulfillment of her every uttered prayer for health and wholeness. Her buried dreams and discarded wishes were resurrected and answered in that instant of abandon and letting her senses take over. All disappointment and dread of tomorrow were discarded with the heap of clothes on the floor. The joining of their bodies cemented a promise of life and contentment reserved for the few who earned the right by triumphing over pain and sorrow. The heat, the fire, the passion, and even the pain were more than just what Bella wanted. They were what she deserved.

The way he touched her caused sensations to erupt in her body she didn't know were possible. The feeling of their skin, as close as it could be but still not close enough, was an awakening and falling into a dream all in one moment. The connection of their bodies joined together, sharing the most intimate of secrets with each other, forged a bond between them that they both knew could be broken by no man or woman. They were united body and soul. They were one.

Finally, Edward lay beside her gently caressing her body. They were both quiet as Bella reflected on the beauty of what she had experienced. Parts had been awkward and painful and messy, but those were overshadowed by the feelings of wholeness and deep connection she experienced with Edward.

"It only gets better," he whispered to her.

Bella's chest constricted and pain flashed across her face. "You didn't like it?" she asked timidly.

"God, no, Bella, I meant you will enjoy it more. For me, that was... you are… everything… perfect. Perfection. Pure perfection. Thank you." He kissed gently thanking her over and over again.

"Well that's good, because I'm a perfectionist," she announced after finally allowing herself to believe that he enjoyed the experience. "I'm going to want to get really good at it. You are going to have to help me practice."

Edward laughed from his belly with a full I'm so happy I finally had sex with Bella laugh and said, "I think we should practice at least twice a day."

"Oh, I almost forgot my surprise!" Bella sat up quickly and started to jump off the bed. She froze when she realized she was completely naked. She couldn't decide what to do. Edward had already seen the chub and seemed to like it anyway, but she wasn't sure she was completely comfortable running naked through the halls yet. She yanked the sheet off the bed, wrapped it around her chest, and stood up. The sheet followed leaving Edward lying there completely exposed. Bella stopped, took in the view, smiled, and ran downstairs.

She came back quickly with the box and handed it to Edward. He looked at her suspiciously. "Bella, you've already given me the most wonderful gift tonight."

"Edward, if you call my virginity a wonderful gift one more time we'll never get through Christmas with our families."

He smirked at her and untied the bow. He opened the box and pulled out The Crazy Adventures of Aro and Newton. His eyes grew wide as he looked at it reverently turning it over in his hands like it wasn't real.

"Is this your book?"

"Yep!" Bella squealed a little bit on accident.

"This is your book!" He practically shouted.

"I know! Can you believe it!"

"I'm so proud of you!" He jumped off the bed and threw his arms around her. Bella liked hugging naked Edward way better than hugging clothed Edward. She wanted her life to be like this always.

A/N: You can throw the book at me if you want. Whew.

If you don't review, Edward and Bella will both develop a strange rash… well you know where. OME! They will be allergic to each other. Is their love strong enough to survive rashes? I mean it would really put a damper on their newly discovered intimacy. OH THE ITCHING!