Dollhouse 8
XXX
Silas
Sometimes in my dreams at night, I hear her before I see her. That laugh that I love so damn much, like pure joy embodied into a sound. Whenever I hear it, I know everything is right in my world, because she is happy. I can picture the way her beautiful green pools will sparkle like the sun off of the sea, her lovely lips turned up in a cupid's bow. I know the way she'd tilt her head just so, her whole body shaking under the force of her joy. I can recall perfectly the way she smells and how her tiny form feels encased in my arms. She had always seemed so tiny and fragile to me, every since the moment I had opened the door to her adorable deer-in-headlights look on my front porch.
In my dreams, I feel strong because of her, invincible and capable of defeating all that would harm her. I feel content and brave. I feel completely and utterly whole. But then I would wake up and reality would rush back in with a cruel vengeance. I would remember that Sang, aggele mou, is missing. That she had been ripped away from us, from me, by some faceless bastard. The complete and utter rage would always well up at the thought of the son of a bitch who did this, but then I remembered the haunting image of a deathly pale, green eyed women, her throat fucking slit from ear to ear. The empty, hollow despair would rise up again, which I would desperately fight against. Then would begin my nightly litany of prayers to anyone listening that aggele mou would hold out one more day. That today would be the day we found her.
Then Mr. Blackbourne had received that call that changed everything and I felt as if all of my prayers had been answered. Sang was alive and we knew where she was. We would rescue from this sick son of a bitch and then I was never letting her go, ever again. The call had been cut off and I felt as if my new found desperate hope had just been completely fucking crushed before if could fully form. I had lashed out, my rage too much for me to contain and then I just let it simmer. I would make sure that this bastard paid for anything and everything he had done. My heart had been in my throat the entire ride to the small darkened house and I was ready for blood.
Looking at the faces of my brothers, I knew we were all ready to hunt this fucker down and rip him apart. Still, I silently begged that aggele mou was unharmed and most importantly, alive. Finding the blood soaked room with two destroyed boys was a horrifying and unexpected shock. They were practically babies, for Christ's sake, and my heart ached for them even as panic for aggele mou flooded my system. If this bastard could do this to his own kids, what would he do to Sang? My mind rejected the storm of images of a broken and lifeless green eyed angel. My angel, aggele mou. Leaving the little boys to the Doc's capable hands, I was more than eager to get downstairs.
My senses felt sharply keen as we stalked down that damn hallway to hell, to Sang's prison. Finding aggele mou with a scalpel to her throat at the hands of a fucking psychopathic doctor who practically just beat his sons to death was like a scene out of my worst nightmare. I had never felt so fucking terrified and helpless as I had in those moments. I didn't even look at the fucker, my focus was solely on the teeny little girl who had somehow become my whole world. That girl could tell me to do anything and I would make it happen. And even as her fear shone through to me, crystal clear, she was so damn beautiful and I couldn't get enough of her.
I soaked up all of the minute details and some ball of tension I hadn't even realized I had relaxed incrementally as I finally allowed myself to accept that Sang was really alive. That she was not rotting in some distant fucking woods, her throat split in half. She was scared, but alive. That aggele mou was right in front of me seemed surreal. I felt as if another miracle was happening and I was afraid to embrace it. Because miracles this big didn't happen to people like me. They just didn't.
That was when aggele mou pitched forward, blood, suddenly everywhere and all I could think of was saving Sang. Nathan and Mr. Blackbourne moved with me as I rushed to her side, my heart pounding as I fought to keep her in place. Hey tiny body bucked against my hold in unnatural and surprisingly strong spasms. Nathan was desperately holding his shirt to the bubbling hole in her neck and I fought against the need to loss my shit at the sight. I had to swallow back bile several times as I noticed the pink, frothy bubbles popping through his tense fingers.
I had to turn away and just focus on keeping aggele mou as still as possible, or I was going to fucking snap. Mr. Blackbourne fought to contain her flailing limbs, which jerked unnaturally. He barked an order at Kota to get the Doc, but all I could focus on at the moment was aggele mou. It physically hurt me to see her in such a state and her spasms appeared to last forever. Each violent shudder that wracked her frame felt like a dagger to the fucking heart and I struggled to keep her as still as possible. It seemed as if aggele would shatter into a million little pieces if we didn't hold her together. Slowly, the violent spasms reduced to shudders, which reduced further to slight trembling and I fought back a sob of relief.
The firm touch on my shoulder jerked me back to attention as the Doc nudged me out of the way. He directed Nathan to remove his shirt and there was that damn hole. The sight of the scarlet and pink bubbles foaming at the wound almost made me hurl right then and there, but the Doc didn't so much as fucking blink. He put his ear to her mouth and a frown graced his normally cheerful features.
"Silas, Owen, roll her on to her back. I need to get her airway open immediately. Nathan, dig into that kit there and see if you can find another scalpel."
We all rushed to follow his orders and got Sang on her back. She looked so fucking pale and somehow smaller than normal. I noticed the blue tinge to her pale lips and the way she was struggling to breathe for the first time and ice flooded through my system. Fucking shit, this was so fucking wrong. And then Nathan was there, handing a small scalpel to the Doc and the Doc appeared to count down her throat before putting the blade close to the original hole. Realizing what he was about to do, I frantically snagged his wrist in an effort to stop him. His piercing green eyes snapped to hold my own and I was shaken by the fierce intensity I saw there.
"Silas, let go of me. Sang is not breathing for some reason and I need to get her airway open. It was lucky that she got hit where she did, because it appears to have allowed some air in, but it's not big enough. I need you to trust me, I know what I'm doing."
And it didn't matter that I trusted him with my life or with the lives of my brothers. He was trying to put a bigger hole in aggele mou's neck and that was so many levels of fucking wrong. My brain just couldn't handle this shit, but a firm order to let go from Mr. Blackbourne had me instinctively following and I let the Doc resume. I couldn't watch him make the incision and I fought to block out the disturbing sounds. I instead grasped one of Sang's tiny hands, which felt like ice in mine, and slowly watched the color return to her face. I glanced back down after the Doc backed up a bit and felt the blood drain out of my face at the sight of a large empty pen casing nestled into aggele's slender neck.
Oh God, I was going to lose my non-existent lunch. Before I could comply with the thought, a commotion at the door snagged my attention and then paramedics were rushing into the room. As they approached us, Nathan grasped my arm and tugged me out of the way to give them room to work. The Doc was answering their questions rapid fire and in no time at all, they were rushing out of the room with my aggele. The speed of their retreat left my head spinning and I wanted to follow behind them, but then there was suddenly a bloody and cut up Luke to deal with.
After that, we were suddenly rushing to the hospital, with Nathan driving, Victor barking out directions, and North and I keeping Luke awake in the back. We arrived to a severely shaken Gabriel and a pissed off Doc. The Doc took charge of Luke immediately and North was right next to his brother every step of the way. I felt as if this whole night had been one of rushing and panicking and now I couldn't do anything more than fucking wait. I felt fucking frustrated and hated this whole shitty situation. Nathan's concerned voice brought me back to the reality with a jolt.
"Gabe? Hey dude, Gabriel, fucking snap out of it! Shit! Silas, Victor, I think he's going into an attack."
I was instantly next to Gabriel's side, Victor on his other, and focused on keeping my touch soothing and gentle. His breathing was coming in stuttering, wheezing gasps and he was trembling violently. The muscles under my hand felt like steel, locked in a tense contraction. Gabriel hadn't had an attack in years and the fact that he was having one now scared me deeply. I realized how much the whole situation with the small brothers was affecting him. Luke coming in covered in blood must have been too much for him right now. It had been bad enough seeing Luke self-destruct and Victor break down these last few weeks. I couldn't stand it if another one of my brother's cracked under the strain.
It took a long time to calm Gabriel down, with all three of us working to help soothe his anxiety, I ended up telling him some of the adventures North and I had as kids back in Greece. I was just getting to the time that we had been caught skinny dipping by some female French tourists when Gabriel's breathing began to even out and deepen. He lifted his head a little bit and Nathan took charge.
"Hey, Gabriel. Are you okay, man? Just concentrate on my voice and focus on breathing, okay? Luke's going to be okay. The cut looked bad, but he's going to be just fine, I swear it. Those kids are going to be fine too. The Doc, Victor, and you all did the best you could with them and they seem like strong little kids. They had to be strong to live with that fucker, so they'll bounce back, okay? And Peanut? I know she looked bad and I'm not going to lie to you, man, I'm fucking terrified. But our girl, she's a fighter. She won't leave us, because she loves us and we won't let her go. No ones leaving you Gabe, I swear it."
I felt a rush of gratitude to Nathan at this as Gabriel's muscles relaxed further and he began to recover. I kept a close eye on him as North, Luke and the Doc rejoined us, concerned at how pale and shaky he still appeared. When Gabriel flipped me shit about mixing up hay and straw, I just shrugged and grinned at his fucking lip, relieved that he was okay enough to be his usual snarky self. I made sure to get out of the way when Luke needed a seat and I watched them reassure one another in relief. The arrival of Mr. Blackbourne and Kota had me relaxing even further as the last members of my family appeared, unharmed and in control.
I listened intently as Mr. Blackbourne grilled Gabriel's well being, only to finally answer Gabe's question about that bastard doctor. I couldn't say I was necessarily happy to hear that Luke hadn't managed to eviscerate the son of a bitch, he was at least taken care of. The rat faced bastard would never be a threat to anyone ever again. I still wanted to rip his balls out and shove them down his fucking throat, but I would trust Mr, Blackbourne to handle this. His silver eyes promised a world of pain and I felt zero pity for the fucker. Then came the doctor asking for the family of the youngest Ayers child, Jaimie.
Gabriel had scrambled to her side, a look of desperate hope on his pale face. Taking in the grim set of her shoulders and her heavy sigh, I just knew this wasn't going to end well. I cut back to watching Gabriel, suddenly afraid that the fate of the young boy was going to just destroy him. The doctor's next words did little to assuage my fears.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news. Jaimie has severe swelling in his brain from a blunt force trauma. A CT brain scan also indicates that there may be a large bleed in the brain. He's being prepped for surgery now to attempt to relieve the pressure on his brain and to locate and repair the bleed. I won't lie to you, I have very little hope at his survival at this time. The swelling and bleeding is substantial and he is very weak. He also has a shattered left femur and his right radius and ulna have multiple fractures. I need to warn you, he might not make it off the table. I'm...I'm very sorry. I hate to leave you like this, but I need to get back to the operation room."
Gabriel's face had drained of all coloring at the bomb the doctor had just delivered and I silently cursed her lack of tact in her delivery. A high keening came from his pale lips as his face crumbled into an anguished mask. I was ready though and caught his weight before he could collapse onto his knees. He sagged against my side and I felt my own despair threaten to overtake me again. I hadn't really had a chance to see much of the kid, but it was obvious that Gabriel had become very attached. A vicious curse from North and the sound of a fist cracking plaster let me know that he wasn't the only one. Gabriel's sudden dead weight was my only indication that he had passed out.
That night had been a long blur of bad news that just got worse before it got better. The Doc had placed Gabriel in a hospital room to recover and Luke sat with him. The rest of us had sat and waited anxiously for any more news of either of the Ayers children or aggele mou. I had thought the waiting was going to be the worst of it as the hours dragged on. By the time we began to find out their conditions, I almost wished they hadn't told us.
We heard back about Seth Ayers first. He had been rushed into emergency surgery the second he had arrived at the hospital, his condition extremely critical. He had multiple broken ribs on his left side, two of which had been forced into his lung. Blunt force trauma to the head from his own father's fists, resulting in a severe concussion. He was black and blue from head to toe and both his kidneys were bruised. Massive internal bleeding and a laceration to the spleen topped the list of how fucked up the kid really was. It was a goddamn miracle the kid hadn't died before making it to the hospital.
Somehow, he had survived the grueling 6 hours of surgery it had taken to attempt to put the poor kid back together. Victor had looked physically ill when the surgeon reported that they had lost him three times on the table, only to get him back just in time. It was the indication of long term abuse and neglect that made me want to hunt down the fucker and rip his throat out all over again. The kid's body was littered with poorly set fractures and it didn't take a genius to figure out how he had received those. On top of everything else, he was way malnourished and very small for his age. The doctor's had also identified almost healed bruises under the mess of the fresh ones. In short, the kid was a fucking mess, but by some miracle, he was alive. For now.
My respect for the kid was immense and I quickly added him to my growing list of people I was praying would survive the night. He had endured years being under the fucked up hand of his fucked up father and despite all of that, he had risked his life for aggele mou. He had risked his father's wrath and made that fateful call that got us our girl back. He had protected his brother as best as he could and he might still die from it. But he was a fighter, I could tell. He wasn't going to go down without a fight and I silently cheered him on. They put him into a medically induced coma in an attempt to allow his body to receive the much needed rest it deserved.
Despite his surgeons dire outlook, Jaimie had survived his own surgery. It was very touch and go for most of it, his heart stalling twice, but the doctor's were able to snatch him out of Death's reach both times. They had been able to drain some of the fluid in his skull to relieve the pressure that had dangerously threatened his young life. The doctors were also able to fairly quickly locate and cauterize the source of the bleeding. On top of his head injury, they had scrambled to fix his broken limbs. It took ten pins to get his leg in any semblance of normality and both of his injured limbs were quickly encased in plaster. The doctors were still unsure if the tiny little kid would make it in the long run, but he was stable for the time being. They were also not very certain of when he would wake up. They never said it out loud, but I got the distinct impression that they were not sure if he'd ever wake up, period. I refused to believe it for a moment that he wouldn't, for all of our sakes.
Gabriel would be a total fucking wreck if the kid didn't make it and I don't think the rest of us would be much better off. It would feel too much like we had failed to save him from the same type of monster we had all been rescued from ourselves. We had all been in the path of various dangers in our lives, but we had been the lucky ones who had been saved. I felt a sudden and fierce protectiveness to the two broken little boys. They were going to live and be happy from now on. Even if I had to see to it myself, I would make sure that they were going to be alright and they were never going to be hurt ever again.
I also willed them to both live for aggele mou's sake. If we had all become so attached to them both in just one night, there was no way that Sang hadn't fallen in love with them over the period of her capture. She would be completely heart broken if we lost either kid and that was simply unacceptable. I absolutely fucking hated to see her cry and I would literally do anything to make her smile. So Seth and Jaimie just had to live, because it would destroy Sang otherwise. So I refused to allow any other option to grace my mind. If I had to keep them alive through sheer force of will, I would.
We heard back about aggele mou pretty soon afterward. Turns out that the bastard had put her on a new medication for some reason that night and Sang had had a severe allergic reaction. She had been going into full anaphylactic shock when we had gotten to her. Her airway had been practically sealed shut by the time the bastard had gotten her with the scalpel. It ironically saved her life. I'd never thank the son of a bitch, because without him, aggele would have never been in danger in the first place. However, I could count the way the scalpel missed her jugular as another miracle to add to the growing list of miracles for the night.
The surgeons had put her on antihistamines to combat her bodies reactions while they worked to seal up the hole in her throat. Overall, aggele mou had gotten off very lightly. The doctor's warned us that she might have unforeseen consequences from being under the type of medication she had been on for so long. They predicted that her muscles over all will have varying degrees of atrophy and she'll be very weak. Considering how violent the bastard had proven to be, Sang had been unbelievably lucky. After a little physical therapy and muscle strengthening exercises, she'll be good as new. Physically at least.
I really didn't want to even consider what this whole damn situation had done to aggele mou mentally. I can't even imagine the terror of being trapped in your body and at the mercy of a sick fuck like Adam Ayers. It made me nauseated just thinking about whatever the fuck he did to her in all of the time she was there. But I didn't care if Sang had new issues to deal with or if her nightmares were worse or whatever. None of that mattered and I would jump through hell if it meant making that girl happy. I would hold all of her ragged pieces together forever myself if that's what it took. And I knew I wasn't alone in that sentiment. There were eight others who would do the same thing. Between us all, we'd do everything necessary to keep aggele whole and happy.
We had had all three patients transferred to the Academy hospital when they had all proved stable enough. We put the two unconscious brothers in a room together right next to Sang's. Mr. Blackourne had quickly ordered us into taking shifts at the hospital after that forst week, so some of us could get rest and food. At least one of us was with Sang and one with the boys at any given moment. Gabriel, North and Victor tended to sit with the two small boys often, but the rest of us took our turns with them. I found myself sitting between the two little kids and telling stories every once in a while. I always had to bite back my anger at their current state. They both looked so fucking tiny in the large hospital beds, swimming in a sea of wires and tubes.
Jaimie's right arm and left leg were laden with the large casts keeping his bones stable. His fluffy black curls had been shaved off before his surgery and a large white bandage encased his head completely. The swelling of his cheek had gone down and his bruises had faded to a pale yellow-green. His long black lashes rested against his chubby cheeks, their pallor a stark contrast. The Doc said the swelling in his brain was going down and his condition appeared to be steadily improving. Baring any unforeseen complications, he was hopeful that the little boy would wake up soon
Seth was progressing at a much slower rate. The surgeons had managed to repair his internal injuries as much as they were able and there did not appear to be any signs of infection, thankfully. His lung was still draining fluid from the surgery and he was hooked up to a respirator to let his them recover. The doctor's wanted to keep him under for another week or so to be careful. The swelling on his face had also gone down some, but he was still laden with cuts and bruises that misshapened his face.
I was describing a funny prank Luke had performed on the Doc two summers ago during a camping trip when a knock at the door drew my attention. A slightly better rested North stood in the doorway.
"Hey Si, I'll take over watching the munchkins. Mr. Blackbourne is sitting with Sang baby, if you want to join him. Nathan and Luke are set to be here in three hours and then you should head home. You're looking a little ragged and frankly, you fucking smell."
"(Fuck off)"
North just laughed at me and pat my shoulder as we passed one another. He took up my previous post and I didn't comment as he slipped a small hand from each boy into one of his own. He began greeting the two kids as I slipped out into the hallway. I watched how gentle he was with the two comatose children and it made me smile. North may be a gruff son of a bitch when he wanted to be, but he had one of the warmest hearts when he allowed himself. Knowing I was leaving the two kids in good hands I walked down to the next door and froze as I caught a rare sight.
Mr. Blackbourne was talking to aggele mou softly, one of her delicate hands cradled between his large ones. His face was unusually gentle and warm. I don't think I had ever seen his face so open and tender before. It was a little disconcerting to be honest, but when I heard his words, I was completely taken aback.
"Sang, honey, I promise you that I will make that bastard pay for doing this. You will never have to worry about that man ever again, I swear it. I just need you to open those beautiful eyes of yours so I can make sure you are okay. You're killing us here and I know you don't want that. Honey, I swear that you are safe and I will never let you out of my sight again. You're grounded forever, as Gabriel would say...Please wake up, Sang, please?"
His voice was pleading by the end and I was struck by how vulnerable Mr. Blackbourne appeared in that moment. It shook me to the core to realize how scared and fallible he seemed suddenly. Mr. Blackbourne had been our rock throughout this entire ordeal. He had kept us from completely destroying ourselves under the strain and our despair. He had been strong and sure and steady. It was only in this moment that I realized Mr. Blackbourne must have been terrified too. He must have been just as desperate to find Sang as the rest of us were. He was just always in such control and seemed to know exactly what to do all the times. I think we all forget that he's just a man, really.
I softly backed out of the doorway, intent on giving him this moment with aggele mou. I went halfway done the hallway before I started forward again, intentionally making my footsteps audible. By the time I had knocked on the frame to the room, Mr. Blackbourne was back to his impeccable and cool self.
"Silas, you're looking a little rough. Maybe you should head home for the day."
"I'm okay Mr. Blackbourne. I haven't had any time with aggele mou today. I'll head home and get in a nap and shower after Luke and Nathan get here."
He pursed his lips slightly at my words, but he didn't comment further when I settled into a chair on Sang's other side. I grasped her tiny hand in my own and worked at putting some warmth in her icy skin. A white bandage was wrapped tightly around her slender neck and I was grateful for its presence. I can still imagine that damn hole in her neck, bubbling with blood as she struggled to take in air. Shaking off the memory, I settled in to watching her, soaking up every detail. I could never get enough of her. I could stare at her everyday until we're both old and gray and it still wouldn't be enough.
Her lovely blond hair surrounded her in a golden halo, like the angel she was. My angel. Aggele mou. Her delicate features were pale, but so incredibly beautiful, her lips in a little pout. I remembered when Gabriel had first noticed this. He had jokingly complained about how she was pouting her damn lips at him and she wasn't even awake. Over the last couple of days, her eyes had begun moving more and she'd occasionally murmur a slurred phrase under her breath. All of these signs indicated that Sang was going to wake up soon and I couldn't wait. I would hug her tight and shower her with kisses until she was breathless with laughter. I knew that seeing her emerald eyes again would finally sooth the last of my fear.
As if she had picked up on my desperate hope, Sang began to murmur softly and shift on the bed. I jumped up and hovered over her, excitement and joy rushing through my body. Mr. Blackbourne mirrored my movement and lightly cupped her cheek.
"Aggele mou, honey, wake up. Can you hear me? Just open those little peepers of yours, we've been waiting for you."
"Miss Sorenson? Can you hear us? We need to to open your eyes. Can you do that for us?"
She scrunched up her nose in the most adorable way as confusion broke out across her face. Suddenly, her eyes began fluttering before she opened them fully. They were still dull and unfocused, but I felt tears catch in the back of my throat and my eyes watered at the sight of them. I waited for the confusion to give way to recognition, to see the relief and happiness pervade their bottomless depths. Instead, horror and panic took over her face and she began to scream.
/
Sang
Awareness was a slow process. My mind felt as if it was packed in tightly with wool and I was having trouble thinking. Where was I? I slowly became aware of my body, sluggish and leaden. I twitched my fingers and was momentarily distracted by the movement. I could move again! But why was it so hard? My body was responding to my thoughts, but my thoughts were having trouble forming. Sounds began to filter through my awareness and I caught the words 'open your eyes'. Once I thought about them, I became able to open them.
Bright light entered my vision and I was quickly disoriented. Before I could focus on my surroundings, a scent invaded my nose and I felt dread sink into my chest. Spring soap was strong and all I could think of was that monster had me still. I felt strong hands holding mine and I panicked. I yanked my hands out of the firm grip and I began fighting to get away, screaming as loud as I could.
"Don't touch me, you monster, don't touch me! What did you do with Jaimie and Seth? Where are they? I hate you, I hate you!"
I felt strong arms wrap around me tighter and my movements became frantic and desperate. I tried bucking out of the hold, scratching and hitting as hard as I was able. Hands grasped my wrists firmly, but gently and I was suddenly immobilized. I continued to try to fight out of the iron grip until a familiar and much beloved ocean scent washed over me. As recognition settled into my brain, instant and total relief chased the panic out of my system and I went limp with the force of it. Only one person smelled like that and if he was here with me, I was not in that house anymore.
Silas' deep voice rumbled into my ear, speaking soothingly and I just soaked up his presence.
"It's okay aggele mou, you're safe now. We got you out. I got you, baby, I got you. He'll never get you again, you're safe."
I wrapped my arms around his strong neck as he cradled me to his chest and I began to weep in pure relief. He reigned light kisses upon the crown of my head and forehead, just letting me bawl my eyes out. He rocked me gently side to side and hugged me tightly, as if he was never going to let me go. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I didn't care about anything else at that moment.
"Silas, I need her."
I felt my tears renew at the sound of North's gruff voice. I was suddenly reaching out for him and he swept me up into another strong embrace, pressing me tightly to his chest as if to try and fuse us into one being. His soft male musk scent enveloped my senses and I just cried harder. They had found me, thank God! This was real. It wasn't a dream. I just kept sobbing 'You found me, you found me' over and over into his chest. He just murmured my name over and over reverently in response, as if he was saying a benediction.
I felt a soft hand on my shoulder but before I could turn and see who it was, that damn scent filtered through my nose again and then I was freaking out again. Was Dr. Sir here? What was going on? My stomach roiled violently and I recoiled sharply away from his touch. The hand withdrew quickly from my back and North was begging me to calm down, asking what was wrong. He spun me around and I caught sight of who else was in the room. Silas hovered near us, concern and panic painting his features. And right next to him was Mr. Blackbourne, who looked frighteningly pale and pained, his hand still hovering in the air. Painful understanding hit me with brutal clarity. It was Mr. Blackbourne, not Dr. Sir that I was smelling. My Mr. Blackbourne.
But while I logically realized this fact, it didn't stop my body from reacting. He must have seen the pain in my eyes, because he stepped closer, a question on his lips. And with him came that damn scent and suddenly I was back in that room, frozen and at the bastard's mercy and I just started begging him.
"Please, don't touch me. Stay away, please!"
I wanted to just die at the wounded look that crossed Mr. Blackbourne's perfect face, confusion and pain clear as he stopped his progress forward. He dropped his hand to his side and clenched it into his thigh. But I couldn't explain to him that it wasn't him, not really. It was me. That monster had ruined something I had held dear. He had twisted it beyond repair and I just hated him so much right then. Mr. Blackbourne took a hesitant step away from me as I clung tighter to North. A moment later, his face turned completely blank and my heart broke into tiny pieces as I buried my face into North's chest and cried. I knew I had just broken something precious in Mr. Blackbourne and I didn't know if I'd ever be able to fix it again.