Dollhouse Part 9

XXX

Nathan

I had been in the shower when I heard my text notification go off. It didn't matter that I had soap streaming into my eyes or that I stubbed my toe twice in my half blind scramble to get to my phone. I wasn't going to wait a second more to see what the text said. After all, it could be about Peanut. Ever since we had got her away from that fucking house, I had spent every second of every day just hoping that she would wake up. My shift to sit with Peanut with Luke was set to start in a couple hours, though I had intended on getting there in less than one. I mean, I was rested *kinda* and I would shove down something to eat before I left *coffee* and I was taking a shower now, so Mr. B couldn't complain.

Swiping the bubbles out of my burning eyes, I frantically swiped at my phone's screen. Seeing the words stopped my heart for all of a minute.

Silas: Aggele mou's awake. Get here as soon as you can.

Oh thank God! I took a moment to just process the words in front of my face and then I darted back into the spray of my shower. I frantically cleared out the shampoo from my hair and then it was a mad dash to get into clothes, fuck being dry. I was just getting my shoes on and starting a text to notify Kota when I heard my doorbell go off. Rushing to answer, I was greeted by an anxious Kota, disheveled with crease lines present in his cheek, his normally impeccable hair mussed to the side. He must have been sleeping when the text came through. His polo shirt was askew, the wrong buttons in the wrong holes and I normally would have broke out laughing at his ridiculous appearance, but I must have looked insane with my drenched clothes and still dripping hair.

He merely nodded his head at me and then we were darting to his car and on our way. My leg jiggled as I impatiently endured the car ride that appeared to last forever. We rode in silence, both lost in our own little worlds and as I began to think about Peanut finally being awake, my guilt and fears began rising within me. What if Peanut didn't want to see me? What if she blamed me for being too slow, for not saving her from this whole debacle? What if she left me?

"Stop it, Nate. Stop blaming yourself. This wasn't your fault and Sang is sure as hell not going to blame you. Now stop thinking about unnecessary things and just focus on the fact that she's alive and awake now. We need to be strong for her, no matter what."

I don't know how the fuck he does that sometimes, but Kota always seems to know whatever the hell is going on in each of our heads. I know it's his job as team lead, but it's sometimes fucking eerie how well he knows what's going on in my head. Not that I'm not appreciative, because he had said exactly what I needed to hear to stop my train of thought. But still, there were times where I swear Kota was fucking psychic. I sent him a small nod in response and he just turned his focus back to the road.

The silence this time was a little more relaxed and my mind was able to focus on just Peanut and how badly I wanted to see her. Kota parked as quickly as he could at the hospital parking lot and then we were racing into the entry doors. The nurse stationed at the entrance had seen us all so much within the last week, she just waved us on through. We hopped into the elevator and Kota was quick to press the button to the right floor. Excitement bubbled in my chest as we waited impatiently for the doors to open. I should have just taken the damn stairs.

The doors to the elevator appeared to open in slow motion and the second they were wide enough, we were both sprinting down the hall. Mr. Blackbourne was standing outside Sang's doorway, his posture curiously stiff and his expression a perfectly controlled blank mask. Kota and I both skidded to a stop in front of him and I found myself mimicking his stance. Mr. Blackbourne regarded us back dispassionately and I felt a thrill of concern race through me at his dull and bland eyes. Something was seriously wrong with this picture. A quick glance with Kota confirmed my thoughts, but before Kota could ask any questions, Mr. Blackbourne began speaking.

"Mr. Lee, Mr. Griffin. You are the last two to arrive. I'm sure you are anxious to see Miss Sorenson and she will be happy to see you. Hop to it."

His voice was oddly neutral and it unnerved me further, but I was too desperate to see Peanut to give it a second thought. Kota hesitated a moment more, a question clear in his eyes, but he followed me soon after. I burst through the door and for the first time in almost two months, I heard Peanuts beautiful voice. She was currently being held by Luke and the look of pure joy and love on his face was a balm to my ragged soul. Kota pushed past me and without even saying a word, Luke was passing her his way.

I found myself freezing in my spot as I watched Kota cling to her desperately and Peanut began crying in earnest. Oh shit, it felt like a fucking bullet to the heart to hear her soul wrenching cries. I couldn't even look at the others. My sole focus was on this tiny slip of a girl who had stolen my heart from the very first moment I had found her up in a tree. Like a tiny kitten, she had stubbornly gone up only to get stuck. I remember how delicate she had felt as I helped her get down. From day one, I had been a fucking goner, but now I was too terrified to approach her.

Logically, I knew what Kota had said was true. I had heard it from every one of the guys from the beginning of this whole nightmare time and time again. It wasn't your fault, man. It was just a perfect storm of shitty events, Nathan. You have to stop blaming yourself. But no matter how much I understood this on a rational level, my mind kept placing the blame on myself. Luke had started looking for Sang within a minute of her disappearance. He had known something was wrong and he just happened to look in the store first.

Me? I had taken my sweet fucking time getting the stupid car. If I had rushed a little faster, I would have seen that fucker attacking Sang and I would have stopped all of this shit before it even began. And to make matters worse? I had lost my shit and placed all of my guilt, anger, and fear and pushed them on Luke, like the asshole I am. No matter what anyone else said, no matter what my brothers thought, this was on my head. All of it. And I was fucking terrified that Sang would recognize this fact and blame me. That she would look me in the eyes and ask why had I failed her when she needed me the most.

I took a small step away from the scene in front of me as my fear threatened to take me over. Before I could take a second, Peanut was suddenly reaching her dainty arms out and calling 'Honey, Honey, Honey' over and over and my hesitation snapped in an instant. I was across the room and scooping my Peanut up into my arms faster than I could recall and I just soaked up the feel of her in my arms. Her tiny, soft frame against my own muscular one felt so incredible right and in that moment, I felt as if I could breathe for the first time in months. I basked in her sweet scent, her hair soft against my cheek and her tears warm against my shoulder.

I couldn't stop the tears that cascaded down my cheek as she cpntinued to murmur her name for me into my chest. I could feel her heart pounding through her delicate rib cage and I just hummed lightly in response. My senses were just so full of her at that moment and the rest of the world fell away. I could have fucking died in that moment and I would have been the happiest man alive. Peanut had wanted me as badly as I had needed her. She hadn't shied away from me and she hadn't hated me. How the hell could she be so fucking perfect and beautiful? I don't think I'd ever know the answer to that question. I don't know what I had done in my life to deserve her, because I would do it again and again to ensure she stayed here with me forever.

A gentle touch on my shoulder drew my attention and then I was looking into the kind eyes of the Doc. My own joy was reflected back from his hazel-green eyes and he smiled softly at me. Turning his attention to my precious cargo, he addressed the rest of the room.

"Alright boys, we've all had a chance to hold our little bird, but I need to make sure she didn't injure herself earlier. I need you to all wait outside as I look her over. Gabriel, could you stay and help me with her?"

I frowned at his words and tightened my hold around Peanut. Injured? Why would she be injured? I frantically scanned the little bit of her that I was able to see, but she was entangled too tightly into my arms for me to properly look. I reluctantly passed Peanut over to Gabriel, who reverently cradled her in his arms and I knew that he would take care of her in my place. Despite a number of grumbles and murmured protests, we all filtered out of the room without too much fuss. I felt so much more calm after having the chance to hold my girl in my arms, to reassure me that we had really really gotten her back. That she didn't hate me.

Mr. Blackbourne was still standing in the hallways, his eyes facing straight forward and expression that strange bland mask. North and Silas were sending him concerned looks and I felt my curiosity peak. Why wasn't Mr. Blackbourne in Sang's room when we first showed up? Why was he standing out here looking like he was. I can't imagine that he wasn't any less concerned about Peanut as the rest of us, After all, she was our girl and he had fought harder than the rest of us to get her back. I sent a questioning glance Silas' way, only to have him shake his head back in response. Now was not the time to answer my question.

We all ended up spreading out on either side of the hallway and began waiting for the Doc to finish up his exams. Silas and North had taken up post on either side of Mr. Blackbourne, looking like fucking bodyguards in their tense stances. It was driving me more than a little nuts not knowing whatever the hell was bothering Mr. Blackburne, but they seemed to be on top of it, so I forced myself to let it go. I started looking over my team mates, my brothers, double checking their states of being.

Kota seemed much more stable than he had this morning, his stance calm and sure. Victor looked overjoyed, his cheeks flushed in pleasure and his posture confident. Silas seemed steady and strong as a rock, his restless energy over the last couple months drained. North looked like he was fighting between pacing and fucking beaming like a loon, the two extremes at odds with one another. My gaze ended up falling on Luke last and I was struck at his current state.

Luke had been a fucking mess after Peanut had been kidnapped under his fucking nose. He had placed all the blame on himself and refused to hear otherwise for much of her kidnapping. After we had received the anonymous e-mail, he had put all of his effort and energy into finding Sang and making sure we got her back. He had taken a fucking blade to the chest to get her back and get her into the proper hands. Now that she was safe and out of the fuckers hands, he had kept an odd, careful distance. He had taken up his shifts religiously, but never once held Peanut's hand while she was unconscious.

I knew that he was still placing full blame of Peanut's kidnapping and subsequent torturous capture on his own shoulders. He had had a chance to hold her, to see that she was alive and safe, but it hadn't been enough to fully assuage his fears. I could see the lingering doubt and fears swimming in his unfocused eyes and I attempted to catch his attention, to little effect. Somehow, I had been able to let go of my own issues in the time I had with holding Peanut close for now, but I could see that it would take Luke longer. Thankfully, he hadn't looked like he was about to jump off a cliff in weeks and I knew that he just needed more time to accept the reality of Peanut's well being. That and maybe North's "persuasive" nature.

My thoughts had begun running off on their own when the Doc popped out of Peanut's room. We all jumped to attention, but he ignored the rest of us and approached Mr. Blackbourne. He moved to stand in front of his passive and still frame, the Doc's expression earnest and as serious as I had ever seen it. Locking eyes with Mr. Blackbourne, the Doc addressed him, an unusual note of authority coloring his tone.

"Owen, I was able to get something out of Pookie before her exhaustion took her over. She was desperate to make sure I knew that she was not afraid of you. She was insistent that you smelled just like that son of a bitch. She said that he smelled like Spring soap too and that even though she's aware it's you, that scent makes her physically sick. So this is what you're going to do. You're going to pull yourself out of your pity party and you're going to take a shower. Here is some scentless shampoo and soap. Once you are done, you're going to drag your sorry ass back here and you're going to make sure our girl is okay, capiche?"

I felt my mouth drop open at the Doc's tone and snide commentary. I had never heard anyone use that tone with Mr. Blackbourne and get away with it, ever. Usually, the Doc and Mr. Blackbourne kept these types of conversations out of our purview. But miracles upon miracles, life immediately sparked up within Mr. Blackbourne's eyes. His bland mask melted with renewed warmth and, dare I say it, hope? He had an entire conversation with the Doc in the span of a few moments and then he was snagging a small baggy out of the Doc's hands. After a small nod between the two of them, Mr. Blackbourne turned away from our group and marched down the hallway.

I wasn't entirely certain about what had just happened, but I knew that the Doc had just fixed whatever had been wrong with Mr. Blackbourne. And it had had something to do with Peanut, Spring soap, and that fucking twat of a doctor. The Doc just beamed after Mr. B before turning to address the rest of us and our obvious confusion.

"What are you lot all waiting for? Our girl is waiting. You might want to hop to it."

With a fucking smirk and a wink, he twirled around and entered the room at a casual stroll. The rest of us didn't have to be told twice. We all rushed back into the small room to find Peanut back on the hospital bed, re-hooked up to an IV and tucked carefully under the blankets. Gabriel sat to her right, watching her in her sleep. We all situated ourselves around her, all careful to keep a hand or two on her gentle warmth. The silence that pervaded the room had drained of any of the anxiety and fear that had occupied our previous vigils this last week. Desperately needed peace had finally reached to us all and we had all accepted that our girl was finally safe.

I could watch her sleep forever, I decided in that moment. She looked like some fairy fucking princess, so beautiful and ethereal in that moment, it physically hurt to look at her. But it was the most perfect and exquisite pain I had ever felt. I couldn't help but believe this was what Sleeping Beauty or Snow White must have looked like in their enchanted sleeps, pale and lovely. I fought a snort of amusement at my last thought, because if she was Snow White, that made the rest of us the dwarfs. Only instead of seven, there were nine of us total. And North was definitely Grumpy.

Speaking of the ninth, Mr. Blackbourne rushed back into the room after about twenty minutes, his damp hair curling slightly at his collar. North had popped up from his position at the left to Peanut's head and relinquished his position to him. Mr. Blackbourne took over his post without a second thought and we resumed our wait. I wasn't sure how long we sat there watching Peanut. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, but it really didn't matter. Peanut was safe and she was in our view. We would never let her out of our sight again.

Movement on the bed drew us out of our individual thoughts as Peanut stirred from her sleep once more. I was surprised to note that the sky outside was now dark, indicating how long we had been watching our girl sleep. I leaned forward in my attempt to catch every movement from Peanut as her beautiful eyes fluttered awake. Confusion lit her features before she focused on Gabriel first. The curiosity drained out of her eyes as she looked around at our family, taking us all in. By the time she got to Mr. Blackbourne, she stiffened instantly, a confusing myriad of emotions dancing across her lovely face.

I found myself holding my breath for reasons I wasn't entirely sure of as I watch the complicated silent conversation passing between the two members of my family. The moment seemed to stretch on forever before Peanut shot up unexpectedly. Before I could fully react, she had thrown her arms around Mr. Blackbourne, crying 'I'm sorry, it wasn't you, I'm sorry' over and over again. The sheer relief and open tenderness on Mr. Blackbourne's face as he rocked Peanut gently in his arms brought an unexpected surge of emotion through me and I was suddenly fighting back tears.

I didn't have to know the full extent of what was going on to understand that our family was finally together again fully. To know that Peanut needed this moment just as much as Mr. Blackbourne did. And as Mr. Blackbourne cradled our girl as if she was the most precious thing in the world, in our world, I felt the first inkling that everything was going to be alright. It may take a few months, years or decades to get to that point, but our family would be okay. We would persevere through this together and whatever Peanut needed, we would be there to back her up every step of the way. We would be stronger together as a family despite this. And Sang? My Peanut, our whole world? She was never going to leave our sight ever again. That's for damn fucking sure.

Have you ever had a moment in which the whole world just freezes and everything just makes perfect sense? That's what it was like when I had held Sang after almost 2 months of complete and total hell. Getting the text this morning had seemed surreal. Sang was awake and I needed to get my ass to the hospital, North had said. Victor has been quick to swing by my house, Gabe already in tow. The ride to the hospital had been a blur of contrasting emotions for me. My deep rooted guilt that had deeply entrenched itself within me since that horrifying day that I had lost Sang battled with my ecstatic euphoria that she was finally awake.

/

Luke

The whole trip through the hospital was a blur of adrenaline, my heart threatening to pound through my chest. I followed behind Gabriel and Victor blindly, but whereas they rushed into the hospital room, I found myself freezing in the door way. I watched as Gabriel practically ripped an emotional Sang from the Doc's arms and he began crooning softly into her ear. She clung to him as if he was her only fucking lifeline and I couldn't make out her sobbed out words. Whatever she was saying, Gabriel soaked it up like a fucking sponge, his face relaxing in a way I hadn't seen in months. Victor hovered anxiously over his shoulder, practically prancing on the balls of his feet as he waited for his own turn. His eyes remained fixed solidly on her tiny, shaking frame as if looking away for even a second would result in her disappearing again.

After only a few moments, his control snapped and he was scooping her up with a small protest from Gabriel. Despite his compliant, Gabriel just fucking beamed at the joyful reunion between our brother and our girl. It was painful for me to watch what I so desperately wanted but was terrified I would never get again, so I turned my attention to the rest of the rooms occupants. North and Silas stood side by side, their expressions tender and indulgent. They tracked the scene in front of them raptly, refusing to look away. The Doc stood just to the right of them, but his expression was one of grave concern and he wasn't facing the same direction as the others.

Tracking the direction of his focus, I was surprised to see it was focused on Mr. Blackbourne. As I took in his stiff stance, carefully blank expression, and dead eyes, I felt my confusion ratchet up swiftly. Mr. Blackbourne could never be called Mr. Emotional on the best of days, but I could honestly say that I had never seen that dead look on his face, ever. He was situated away from the others and he watched Victor and Sang with complete dispassion. It honestly gave me the heeby jeebies. It apparently disturbed the Doc as well, because he approached Mr. Blackbourne and began to quietly speak to him. I couldn't make out the words, but Mr. Blackbourne appeared to refuse to acknowledge his words and suddenly he was skirting around the group and heading in my direction.

I felt my heartbeat stall in my chest and my feet felt frozen to the floor. Mr. Blackbourne refused to meet my eyes and just shouldered his way past me, pushing me firmly into the door frame. It didn't hurt or anything, but I was caught unaware at his actions and surprisingly hurt. I had never been dismissed so bluntly before, aside from North, and it fucking stung. I was just about to follow after him when a soft, sweet voice called my name.

"Lucian? Luke? I need you."

And then I was just fucking gone. There was no way I could hear that plea and not respond. My guilt and self pity could just go to hell at that moment. In two quick bounds, I was across the room and I pulling Sang into my arms. It had to be a fucking dream. There was no way that Sang didn't hate me, that she wasn't going to blame me for everything she had endured and never speak to me again. But even if this was a dream, I wasn't strong enough to deny this tiny girl in any capacity. I buried my nose into her fluffy hair, feeling like silk against my cheek and just embraced the moment.

She could hate me later. She may never speak to me again and I wouldn't blame her, but for now, she was calling my name like it was the best word in the world and I just soaked it all in. I didn't have it within me to let her go and the longer she clung to me, the more the ragged hole that used to be my heart began to seal over. I had given up any hope of this moment weeks ago, but by some fucking miracle, it was happening and I was going to hold onto it as long as I could. I closed my eyes and knew I must have been grinning like a fucking idiot, but no one stopped me or gave me any shit. Maybe they realized how much I needed it, but by the time Kota and Nathan launched themselves into the room, looking like a mad man and a drowned rat respectively, I was able to give her up without hesitation.

After Sang and Mr. Blackbourne had reunited, all was whole and right in the world again for the first time in months. The rest of the day passed in a haze of bliss, our family together and healthy, if not totally happy. I would have had to be a fucking idiot and blind to not see the new haunted look in Sang's eyes, the way she would get quiet between our banter, her attention obviously back in that damn house. Whenever that happened, we would all glance one another, concern and rekindled rage shared all around. We were careful to smooth out our expressions and hide our concern behind silly grins and jokes whenever her attention came back to us.

We all also noticed the way she would recoil from any unexpected touch or if we would catch her by surprise. I would have to bite my tongue and just force my grin a little harder to keep from scowling at all of the little clues that Sang wasn't alright, not fully. But it didn't matter that Sang was fragile or that she clung to us a little tighter or watched us intently as if we would disappear if she blinked too long. If she was a little more jaded or wounded, it didn't matter to me or to my brother's, because that just meant we had to work that much harder to keep her together. To keep her safe and happy and whole. And we were never ones to back down from hard work.

I would smother her in love and adoration, treating every second I had with her as if it was the sacred gift it was. She would have to beat us all off with sticks to get any semblance of privacy from hear on out, especially with me. Because she was my forever and always. The embodiment of every dream I had thought I wanted, only better somehow, and I was never letting her out of my sight ever again.

Even after she had fallen back into a deep sleep, the rest of us just settled in and watched her delicate face, so fucking sweet and soft. She had us all wrapped around her tiny pinkies and she didn't even know the half of it. After the fifth yawn from Gabriel and the third from Kota, Mr. Blackbourne ordered us to call it a night, with Nathan and I staying behind for the shift we were originally supposed to cover. He refused to listen to the instant rush of protestations, indicating the now sleeping girl between us to silence them all instantly. He directed Nathan to sit with the two small children next door and I felt a twinge of instant guilt over forgetting about them all day.

I couldn't stop the deep satisfaction at the fact that this meant that I was the one staying with Sang as the others trickled out. Mr. Blackbourne got an oath from me to keep him in the loop if anything happened with our girl before he left with the Doc right behind him. I waited only a moment before I kicked off my shoes and hopped up into the bed next to Sang, careful of her IV as I placed my head gently on her chest. Instantly, I heard the steady sound of her heartbeat, its rhythm strong and so fucking beautiful to me. It was like the best song I had ever heard and as I felt her chest expand under me, I found myself closing my eyes and dozing.

I never fell completely under, but it was the most peaceful I had felt in ages. When her breathing began hitching and small whimpers and cries fell from her lips, I was instantly alert and shaking her awake. She snapped back to awareness with a jerk, her eyes wide and filled with terror. The second she focused on me, she launched her arms around my neck and she was crying all over again, each wracking sob like a knife to my heart. I just held her tightly, whispering as many comforting words and promises as possible in an invocation of safety and peace for her.

After her trembling had slowed and her breathing had evened out, I had assumed she had fallen back asleep, so when she suddenly spoke up, I flinched in surprised.

"I dreamed that Dr. Sir had killed Seth and Jaimie and he made me watch. I was helpless to stop it. Luke...what...what happened to them? Are they okay? Did you guys save them too?"

I felt as if I had just been socked in the gut at how small and vulnerable Sang sounded in that moment and I was suddenly remembering a room bathed in blood with the two brothers wrapped within one another, as fragile and breakable as baby birds. How could I be the one to break the desperate hope in her eyes, to betray the blatant trust she had placed in us? After all, we had been too late for Seth and Jaimie. We hadn't been able to stop any of their pain, just too fucking late at every turn. She must have seen something in my face, because she was suddenly begging me to say something, to tell me they were alive. As her heartbeat began to skyrocket, I broke and pulled her tight to me once again.

"Shhh, sugar, shhh. They're alive. They're not okay, not really, but they're alive. And they're getting better everyday, I swear it. Do you want to see them?"

She instantly relaxed at me saying they were alive, only for her to re-tense about them not being alright. She bobbed her head under my chin and then I was sitting up and bringing her with me. I swiftly lifted her into a one armed hold while I pulled her IV and heart monitor to my side. I softly padded out into the hallway and down to the room next door, slipping in with my precious cargo unhindered. Nathan looked up at our entrance and jumped up to meet us across the room.

"What the hell, Luke? Peanut, what's wrong baby? Did you need me?"

"Quiet Nathan. She was asking about Seth and Jaimie and wanted to see them. Would you have said no?"

He shook his head before he nodded his understanding and stepped out of our way. He grabbed the pole away from me and I resettled Sang so that she could she around her better. She instantly located the two little boys side by side and her face just fucking crumpled. A moan of anguish came out from deep in her throat and she was just fucking bawling all over again. I hated hearing her cry and this day was just turning out to be torture.

"Oh Seth, little Jaimie, what did that monster do to you? Oh, this is all my fault."

"Peanut, this isn't your fault! Not even fucking close. There is only one person responsible for any of this shit and it's that fucker Adam Ayers. Oh, baby, please don't cry."

I just walked between the two hospital beds and let her get a closer view of the unconscious brothers. A second moan, more broken then the first erupted out of her and her body began to tremble more violently. I crouched down, ignoring a twinge of pain in my chest, as she reached out and gently traced over Seth's still swollen and cut up face, her breath hitching on a small sob. Her face was completely desolate and I wished again for the umpteenth time in the last week that I had bashed that fucker's face in.

Silent tears tracked from her eyes and she turned her head to focus on Jaimie's still form. She reached out a hand for him and I crouched down again for her to be able to reach his small form. Again, she ghosted her hands across his cherubic cheeks, resting lightly over his fading bruise. Underneath her agony, she looked at the small child in such blatant adoration and love that I felt myself fighting back tears in the back of my throat.

"Luke, can you put me down next to Jaimie please? I just, I need to hold him. Is that okay?"

"Sang, sweetie, whatever you want. Nathan, can you help me get her situated?"

Between the two of us, we were able to move Jaimie to the side gently, giving Sang room next to his tiny frame. As soon as we laid her down, she gently reached around his small chest, careful of all of the wires and tubes attached to him, and cradled him to her. Tears continued to fall from her eyes as she placed a tender kiss to his bandaged forehead, holding it there for a few seconds.

"Thank you guys for getting to them in time. Thank you for saving me. I prayed day in and day out that you guys would find me, that you would take us all far away from that monster. I promised them that night that they would never be hurt again, but that turned out to be a lie. And now look at them."

Her voice broke at this last part and I just couldn't hold it in anymore. Her pain was too much for me to bear and suddenly I was crying, my guilt that has been building ever since the day that I had lost her erupting forward. Through my tears, I saw her pull away from Jaimie, alarm bright on her face and her confusion clear.

"I'm so sorry Sang, this is all my fault, I'm so sorry I lost you! If only I had been paying attention, I would have seen Jaimie leading you away. I would have known something was wrong sooner and I would have stopped all of this from happening."

"No, man, it's my fault. Peanut, if I had just got my fucking ass into gear and gotten the car faster, I would have seen that fucker and I would have been able to stop this. It was my fault, not Luke's."

I was gobsmacked at how insistent Nathan was in his supposed blame. I had no clue that he had even thought that and it was total fucking bullshit.

"Dude, you weren't even there! How the fuck was any of this your fault? This is all on me, not you."

"Exactly Luke, I wasn't fucking there. If I had been there, this wouldn't have happened. This is my fault, not yours. You were talking to North, taking care of business. What was I doing? Just fucking around."

I knew my mouth was dropping open and closed, words struggling to form. What the hell was Nathan thinking? This was so fucked up, it wasn't even funny. I was starting to get frustrated at Nathan's insistence and was about to call him out on how wrong he was when a peal of giggles pierced through the tense situation like a hot knife through butter. Nathan and I whipped back to face the source of the sound and I had to bite back a laugh myself at the look of horrified amusement on Sang's face, both hands clamped tightly over her mouth. At our stupefied looks, another peal of giggles erupted from under her hands, muffled but audible.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't laugh, but you guys just sounded so funny. It's not funny, I know. But...I...can't...stop...laughing!"

I was so completely shocked. Here I was, here we were, apologizing for putting Sang through all of this shit, and she was just laughing at us! I was so caught off guard and looking at Nathan, I saw my own surprise reflected in his flabbergasted expression. And suddenly, I was giggling like a mad man, Nathan cracking up right next to me. It was so inappropriate and totally the wrong time to do this, but I suddenly couldn't stop. It just felt so good to fucking laugh again! And the sound of Sang's peals of deep belly laughs was a balm on my healing heart.

We had to have been laughing like loons for going on fifteen minutes before we were able to finally grasp any solace of control over ourselves. Sang got up and approached Nathan and I and threw one arm around each of our necks and pulled us close into her.

"You guys are being idiots. I never once blamed either of you for that day, so stop blaming yourselves please. I don't like it."

It was said so matter of fact, as if she hadn't just put my heart back together piece by jagged piece, She was so fucking perfect and as she placed a gentle kiss each of our foreheads, I thanked God that Kota had found her all those months ago and that we had brought her into our family. Nathan's face cleared of all the pain and guilt as he and I just leaned further into her arms. The silence was broken in an instance, stalling my heart for beat or two.

"Mommy? Is that you?"

Sang whirled around at the high, sweet voice behind us and I turned to see little Jaimie Ayers sitting up in his hospital bed, his tiny uninjured hand rubbing at an eye. The bleary confusion cleared in a moment and a look of pure joy lit up his golden eyes and crossed his cherubic face, his arms reaching out.

"Sang! You're okay! Sir didn't get you, he didn't get you!"

And then Sang was cradling the small child to her arms, rocking him gently and raining kisses on his head and face. Tears of joy streamed down her face as she alternating between sobbing and laughing and he clung to her like a barnacle. Mind you, an adorable barnacle, but a barnacle all the same. It was the most heartwarming thing I had seen in a long time and I never wanted that moment to end.

"Now what do we have here? I come to check on my three favorite sleeping beauties, only to find one missing, one awake, and the third still out for the count. Now whatever am I going to do with you two?"

Sang and Jaimie just giggled at the Doc's sudden appearance and teasing remarks as Nathan and I just beamed back at the situation. The Doc's eyes twinkled with merriment before he shot us a small wink.

"Alrighty, Jaimie boy, I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Dr. Sean Green. You can call me Sean if you want. I need to ask you a few questions, but first, I need you to stop that incessant giggling. Pookie, you're being a horrible influence on my patient!"

I watched on as the Doc examined the kid, making both Sang and Jaimie laugh all the while and shifted my focus on Seth's still form. He was the last piece needed for Sang's happiness left and I willed him to wake up, calling Sang's name like Jaimie had. But the kid slept on, unaffected and withdrawn deep within his head. We just needed to be patient, I reminded myself. I had so much I wanted to say to the kid. He saved my life, the lives of my brothers, the day he called Mr. Blackbourne. I would never forget that fact as long as I lived and I would forever be in his debt. Now he just needed to wake up so I could tell him that.