A/N: Hola mi amigos...I am BACK! For a while anyway...final exams are nearing and so I'm not sure I'll be able to update as much as I do...not that I update that quick anyway...

:grin:

Anyway I hope you enjoy one of my weaker chappies and please review, I really appreciate it!

Oh yea, some notes at the bottom!

-MonkeeNoodles

Chapter 15

There were many reasons why she hadn't come to this city while she was travelling and the reasons immediately came back to her as soon as she set foot on the border. Aesthetically, the city was beautiful, and if you pushed it far enough you could almost call it scenic with its old, gothic buildings in between more modern buildings that glowed beautifully in the sun…except sun was sparse here. She could feel the evil—no, that was too harsh a word—the wickedness that seeped through every fibre of this city and the emotions sent shivers down her spine. There were more reasons behind her not going here prior to the Titans but there were too many to count but they all basically based themselves around the fact that this place was too…erratic…too devious and just too…dark. It was too dark for her own tastes and that was saying something.

Gotham.

Raven didn't really know why she had led herself to this city, only remembering that it was an impulse action that she had thought of after the—she scrambled around in her head for a word—unfortunate break up. There was just a feeling that she needed space and she needed to finish off the deal with the bond and bring Dick back and…and try to make everything as normal as she could make it be. There were a lot of reasons that compelled her to come to a city with the highest crime rate in the USA, but most had been centred around Garfield and normalcy…or whatever normalcy she could achieve by making the team a whole again instead of the frail pieces that they were now.

She hadn't told anyone except Kori about her leaving—though Raven had a sneaking suspicion that Vic somehow knew what the result would be like—and even then she didn't tell Kori that she was going to leave sunny Jump City for dreary Gotham. Kori hadn't really been supportive of the break as she didn't really know why they had broken up—it was a private matter, she figured, and would be best left to Garfield to decide whether or not it was worth publicising—and Raven suspected that Kori would be even less supportive if she told her that she was going to go to Gotham; Dick was still a touchy subject and though she was looking forward to going on her date with this Crawford character, the absence of their team's leader was apparent on her best friend's face.

She sighed, taking in the cold air and herself, enveloping her body further in her simple black coat.

It was going to be a long day.

--

Flashback

"I do not understand…" Kori spoke slowly, her green eyes glowing dimly, "You and Garfield are the…broken up?"

Raven nodded, rubbing at her left arm, "Yes." There was no need for a long answer, a word would suffice.

"But…I do not understand…why have you separated?" Kori asked, "I presumed that you two are—" Her best friend shook her head rapidly, "were happy. Do happy couples not stay together or have I been mistaken?"

She paused for a moment, wondering what to tell Kori, before shrugging, "It's complicated. We were happy but…we had our fair share of problems." Raven sighed, crossing her arms across her chest, "Alongside the fact that our team hasn't been in the best shape lately, we both figured that our problems would have to be dealt some other time and so we…" she paused, "broke up."

That whole last sentence had been a lie and Raven kept the straightest face that she could ever hold—which was pretty good, seeing as she had been practising all her life—because Raven personally knew that no matter how naïve or ditzy Kori could appear, she was extremely sharp when it came to lies.

Kori was murmuring to herself as Raven stayed silent as she sat on the wooden chair quietly with her long fingers tapping at her chin. As her best friend continued to wrap her head around the situation, Raven took a good look at her surroundings, taking in everything that came with it. The main study—quite different to Dick's in the way that it wasn't such a mess of newspaper clippings and such—was filled with books and if it was any other time than now, Raven would have taken the time to flip through a couple of books and stay here for a long period of time, not really knowing how much of it had gone by, but right now wasn't the time and both of them knew it.

Kori bit her lips while her hand raked through her red locks thoughtfully, "I still do not think I am quite understanding the situation…you say you were happy and you have broken up?" She raised a flaming brow at her, "Sister, as much as I believe that the Titans are having problems, I do not think that those are reason enough to do the breaking up. You were—" Kori shook her head fervently, her hair flailing everywhere, "are in love…both of you. I have seen it with my very own eyes and by x'hal, I am doing the betting that there is no one that has greater love than the two you share." She paused for a moment before continuing, "Jinx and Vic are amiable but they are no match to you two. I will regret not being able to be seeing you two together."

"We'll still be together…as friends or…" Raven shook her head slowly, "acquaintances. Whichever would suit us best."

There was a disapproving look to Kori's face as she finished her sentence, causing Raven to feel a little skittish inside. Usually, it was her who did the disapproving but sometimes—when she felt really strongly about it—Kori could disapprove like there was no tomorrow, and the statuesque Tamaranean beauty could be intimidating when she didn't mean to be.

"Do you not love him anymore? Is that what has made this…break?"

It was Raven's turn to bite her lip and she sighed, "It's not that. I do…" she looked down, feeling ever so slightly defeated, "I love him, quite earnestly I think, and a great amount at that but…the problems we have were in the way of what we both wanted and…" another sigh was generated, "it's just extremely complicated and I'd rather not talk about it." Raven stopped for a moment and looked up at her, "I just wanted to let you know before I went."

Now that made Kori start, and Raven felt her shock shoot upwards suddenly, "Went? You are going?"

"Just for a while." Raven instantly realised that she had accidentally reminded Kori of her ex-boyfriend, "A day or two. No more." She added hastily.

There was a certain expression on Kori's face that told Raven that Kori suddenly just turned really, really angry and she was expecting some sort of outburst in those few moments, but it never came, "Where are you going to?"

Raven remained silent, feeling the chill that seemed to envelop the whole room. It had been like that lately—chilly—despite the heating that they had installed into every corner of the Tower. It was like winter had been bottled up and stuffed into the study somehow, and it wasn't a comforting feeling at all.

"When, then, friend, are you going?" Kori's words hardened and yet they seemed…soft, "If you will not tell me where you are going then, will you please tell me when you are going?"

"Tonight. Some time tonight. I'll get an hour or two of sleep before I go so if anyone asks you where I am, you can tell them that you don't know and that you never met me tonight."

Her friend seemed ever so slightly scandalised at this thought, "Friend! You are leaving tonight? And you are not even telling the others?" She shook her head, as if she didn't know what to do, "And, as you have been saying friend, we are in the shambles and you are leaving tonight? What can be so important that you are leaving us when we are already…" steam seemed to hiss through her ears, and she seethed with every second that passed, her eyes glowing brighter and brighter, "broken?"

"There are—"

"And you want me to do the lying for you? Why will you not just tell them? Why will you not just tell me the reason why you are going." Kori pursed her lips momentarily, "We are friends, are we not?"

Raven felt her emotions soften at those words, "Of course we are, Kor, you're the closest thing I'll ever have to a sister." She attempted a smile but then let it falter as she realised that comforting other people wasn't what she felt like doing right now, "And I know I keep on telling you—people—this but it's all rather complicated, Kor, and rather…private. It's nothing as threatening as me being the portal but…I'd prefer if I dealt with it alone so no one can get hurt."

The Tamaranean shook her head to herself slowly and stood up, towering over her with her full height, her fists clenched on her hips stubbornly. The grimace on her face was evident but as Raven's empathic powers grappled with Kori's, she found that a lot of it was hurt and a feeling of loss. It was an emotion that everyone was feeling and Raven felt a bit guilty for having intensified it, even if it was only a little bit.

"Then you will go." Kori said, and Raven felt devastated at the statement, it felt slightly like she was being banished to the other side of the world, "And I will not tell them."

"Thank you." Raven stated awkwardly, not knowing what to say to such a fierce reply.

Her best friend slowly nodded, her eyes slightly glassy, "You are the most welcome." A hint of a smile emerged on her fleshy lips before transforming into a full-fledged one, "I hope you will not get yourself the hurt. I will miss you."

She cracked a smile in return, before being crushed in the comforting—if painful—hug that Kori always delivered, "Thank you, again Kors. I'll miss you and…" she pursed her lips together as her best friend's grip grew tighter, "I'll make everything better again, I promise…"

Raven didn't know if Kori had heard her last sentence, but she had meant it. There was only one place that needed visiting to make things right again and despite her determination, she dreaded the thought of going there.

--

She was close, she could feel him, though his presence might have just been increased by the progression of a tighter bond; she had been feeling it for days now, occasionally when she wasn't so distracted by events, she could feel him as if he was right in the next room. His presence was overwhelming sometimes though they were sparse and what was worse was that his emotions switched from anger to sadness and occasionally she felt pity. There was also this feeling that she couldn't describe, as if he had picked at a scab against his own will and let the blood flow out and he couldn't stop it. Raven had a niggling feeling of what it was but there was no knowing whether or not she was right until she met him, and she had another feeling that she would be doing that soon.

Raven rubbed at the sleeves of her long, rigid coat, rubbing harder sometimes to try to trap the heat into her body. Her footsteps sounded too loud to her ears as she stepped on several broken twigs on the pavement while walking towards that feeling, the bond that kept tugging her body towards her destination harder and harder. It hurt physically, she realised, to be tugged in such a way and yet it was so…inviting; she wanted to be pulled towards him, wanted the connection to be re-established and that was dangerous. It was dangerous because it made her realise how strong their bond must be now, and how being an individual was getting harder and harder; she was feeling the urge to become one—not in a sexual sense, no—and to become just a single entity instead of two. It would die down soon though, she hadn't been to Nevermore to confirm it, but she was sure—she was hoping—that it was going die down soon because it would mean that her break up was all worth it, that she had felt like her heart had been pulled apart at the worst parts and it had all been for something.

The time zone between Jump City and Gotham wasn't too far apart and so she had arrived in Gotham in the dead of the night. A dangerous feat, she knew, due to the array of petty criminals and treacherous villains but she had told herself that if she didn't leave as soon as she did—only a couple of hours after the break up—she would have never left her room and would probably wallow there for as long as she could.

Raven walked slowly on the pavement, steadying herself, and took long, heavy steps while admiring the sights. What light there was made the scene ever so slightly hypnotic, mesmerising and just…beautiful. It was a city with the segregation between the rich and poor to be so thick and so wide that after just walking a couple of minutes, she could feel the atmosphere change and the physical change. The area was no longer squalid, dark and lacklustre but it was now grand, magnificent and it reeked of arrogance; so thick that Raven squirmed and twisted her nose at the aura. Maybe being in the poor district was better; at least there they had no pretence on what they were nice, at least there the city didn't pretend that it was beautiful, it was kind or caring. She understood now why Dick never liked bringing the Titans to this city, understood why the mere mention of Batman would provoke a grimace on his face.

Raven was heading towards where she thought the wealthiest houses would be—and thus the Wayne Manor—when suddenly something in her chest tugged violently. It twanged a bit but it didn't necessarily hurt, it just felt a bit odd, like something had been plucking at her chest. It was the bond and it had prodded at her as if it knew she was looking for Dick, as if she was looking in the wrong direction, as if she was supposed to go back to the poorer districts to find him. However, common sense told her otherwise, common sense told her that if he went anywhere in Gotham City he would have gone to his old home first, to meet something familiar that he could hold onto for a while longer, and despite how much the bond tugged, she continued to work her way towards the Wayne Manor. And over the years, Raven had learned to trust that common sense that she had, because it was almost, always accurate…but then again…

She shook her head, feeling the freezing wind scratch at the back of her neck. By Azar, couldn't Gotham get some sunnier weather? She couldn't believe that she actually missed summer but she did! It was so cold that the three layers of clothing didn't help and her huge, bulky coat was doing nothing but make her waddle through the streets. Uncomfortable, but admittedly she hadn't really put any thought into this plan of hers.

Suddenly a grand manor appeared before her and as she got closer to it, she read a plaque that confirmed her suspicions that it was the Wayne Manor; the house in which both the infamous Bruce Wayne and the dashingly handsome—Raven rolled her eyes momentarily, really now?—Dick Grayson, poster boy for anyone tall—well that was pretty questionable—dark and handsome, and dreamboat to all those screaming, annoying Gotham girls, had grown up in. The building was intimidating and yet there was a slight trickle of comfort that made the place seem liveable. Vines climbed every part of the walls and the gates and the security cameras stared at her like an intruder. Beautiful and yet extremely intimidating.

Slowly, she pressed the intercom, before biting at her lip nervously.

"Wayne Manor, how may I help you?"

Raven coughed, "Is that you Alfred?" Raven asked unsurely, "It's…" she lowered her voice, "Raven."

There was loud fuzzing at the end and a long silence but then the intercom suddenly buzzed and the iron gates opened as she scurried inside quickly. The door opened and a kind-looking man stood there in a way that was proud but also…serviceable. A smile suddenly lit up her face; she had missed Alfred—the last time she saw him was when Bruxe Wayne was in Jump City for vacation—and his witty sarcastic remarks and yet his caring personality. It was juxtaposition at its best and in form of the nicest person in the world.

"Well, good evening Miss…" he took a mere look at her attire and smiled at her, "Roth. A pleasure to meet you, I must say."

She cracked a smile, standing on the front door, "Vice versa Alfred, It's good to see you."

"Miss Roth it is completely inappropriate for me to let you stay out in the cold when it's toasty warm in here." He took her hand and led her in, taking her coat off and placing it in the coatroom before bustling her into the living room, "What will it be, Miss Roth? I presume tea but sometimes we have crude requests of coffee now and then." He flashed her a smile, understanding completely that she would have ordered tea anyway.

"Tea would be…pleasant…but unnecessary." Raven felt her fingers fiddle with the leader coating of the sofa she was sitting on; very luxurious, like most of what was in this house. Everything seemed to sparkle or shine at one point or another, "I was wondering if…"

"Master Bruce is not in at the moment…he has his responsibilities as you would know."

Raven nodded, "I would know but that isn't what I came here for."

Raven paused for effect and also for herself to take in her surroundings. She had always known that Dick had grown up with the glitz and the glamour but this was ever so slightly…overwhelming. Everything reeked money, hard work and there was—like everything else she had seen in the wealthy areas—a slight feeling of arrogance here and there. There was vintage draped everywhere, soft colours of cashmere and rigid, ebony wood. It was a lot to take in and at a superficial level, Raven was confused on why he would sacrifice all this for the uncontrollable and slightly filthy life of a normal teenager.

"I came here to find Dick. He's here right?" She asked slowly, her fingers interlocking with each other, "Or is he out…with Mr. Wayne?"

There was a glimmer of shock—or was it surprise? It was pretty hard to differentiate it nowadays—in Alfred before it was washed away with utter calm and control, "Master Dick? I have not seen him since…maybe two months ago? I—we—were under the impression that he was still in Jump City."

That made Raven stop for a moment to decide that maybe the bond had been right, "To be short, Alfred, he's not." She shook her head and pursed her lips momentarily, "The Titans have been functioning without him for…three weeks more or less? I'm not so sure though."

"Well neither Master Bruce nor I have heard from him." Alfred's usually schooled face betrayed his worry, "Presumptions aside, I believe that if he were in Gotham, he would be at Miss Gordon's apartment. He has been worried sick over her ever since she…"

She closed her eyes for a second to show her understanding of the situation, "I recall." Raven nodded slowly before standing up from her seat, "Thank you for your kind attention, Alfred, but if he isn't here then I must get going."

"So soon? I was just about to give you some of this delicious Earl Grey tea that I found last night."

Raven nodded in appreciation, "Thank you but really, time is of the essence, or some other dramatic quote I can think of. Will it be trouble for you if you didn't mention our meeting to Mr. Wayne?"

Alfred considered this while grabbing her coat and helping her put it on at the front door, "No, not at all. At some other time I think that I would tell but…there is something troubling you Miss, and I believe that adding to that burden would be quite a selfish act."

"I appreciate it." Raven smiled softly before stepping out of the door, "Once again Alfred, it was really nice meeting you. I hope we meet again soon, under better circumstances."

"I wish it too, Miss Roth. Please call when you find our young master."

"I will." Another nod, "Thank you."

With that she turned away from the manor and walked slowly, trudging through grit and dust as every step took her towards the poorer districts. It had been a nice break to see Alfred for a while but she knew that that would have to wait for another time, a pleasanter time and now she had to go find Dick.

Dick…

Her thoughts settled on him for a while, taking in the words that Alfred had spoken to her. So…he was with Barbara now, though she wasn't sure whether it was literally, figuratively or even both but right now they shared some kind of…connection…that compromised of the love they used to share with each other, the guilt, the sadness, the anger…Raven wasn't sure why she didn't recognise it before but she did now and it was obvious, as obvious as the sky was inherently an innocent shade of blue. Maybe it was a phase but Raven had an inkling that it wasn't, and if they really were together, it would last quite a bit, at least until they realised that they were only with each other because of the accident.

Raven shook her head, berating herself for making such a presumption. The accident may have triggered whatever relationship they were having now but she didn't think that it was what held them together; as guilt-ridden as Dick was, she couldn't see him staying in a relationship because he thought that it was his responsibility to do so.

Suddenly, she realised that she didn't know where she was going and wandering around aimlessly trying to find out where her bond was compelling her to go to would not be too good of an idea in a city like Gotham. There had to be another way for her to get to her destination…there had to be a way for—

It then came to her, she could concentrate on her bond and phase to wherever that place would be. It was a little risky as she had never really done it before—though it could be done theoretically—and she could end up in the middle of nowhere but there was an underlying sense of urgency that told her that she had to find their leader as soon as possible…plus she didn't really have a place to stay and though she didn't mind sleeping outdoors, this was Gotham and nothing was left untouched.

Hurriedly, she rushed off to find somewhere she couldn't really be seen, and after finding a abandoned looking alley—risky, she knew, but she had no other choice—she sat down cross-legged and closed her eyes, chanting her words over and over again. After a couple of years, Raven came to realise that her words were never essential in producing her powers and yet they helped her concentrate rather than direct the powers aimlessly. The words soothed over her as she concentrated her thoughts on Dick and on his possible location, merging the bond to become as close as one as she could possibly do, without jeopardising herself. Slowly, ever so slowly, she could feel her surroundings change and that slight cold that came with it send shivers down her spine. It was a slow process, and an exhausting one; producing beads of sweat on her forehead and her chakra to flash wildly. It hurt a bit, but not so much.

Cautiously, Raven opened her eyes to find herself sitting in front of a door, and found herself wondering why she hadn't phased herself inside of it. It would've been completely embarrassing if she found herself in the wrong place or found herself seeing something unfortunate but technically speaking it should've automatically led her inside. It came to her after a second; the bond had taken into account her own personality and her preference of privacy and the importance of it, and so she had led herself to the closest place she could get to without invading his privacy. At the very least, Raven thought it worked that way.

As she stood up, she noticed her surroundings a little more and found that the apartment block itself didn't look too shabby; it wasn't the nicest apartment around though it provided the basics, which—she figured quite nicely to herself—was what apartments were originally for anyway. She perked up slightly as she found herself hearing sounds from inside the door—rustles and scrambles—and she waited until the sounds settled down before knocking on the door. There was no need to barge in; her case was urgent but a little politeness never hurt anyone.

There were more sounds, whispers this time, and she stood there idly, waiting for the door to open. Her patience wore off quite soon though and her knuckles immediately headed towards the door to rap at the cool wooden panel but the door opened quite violently to reveal a haggard looking Dick Grayson, a sight she had not seen in ages and for all the trouble that he had brought upon them, she was actually quite pleased to see him; it was like seeing a long lost brother after quite a long, long time.

"Raven."

Raven raised a brow at this single word, "Dick." She pursed her lips for a second, taking in the way he almost casually splayed himself on the door frame, "You don't seem too surprised to see me here."

He grimaced at that, his brows furrowing even further, "I knew you were in town the moment you stepped onto the border."

"I see." She looked down for a moment before throwing him a smirk, "Aren't you going to let me in?"

"Well…" Dick paused and looked back at who Raven thought must've been Barbara but she couldn't be too sure, "It's not my place to really decide…"

"It's nice to see you again Raven." A voice suddenly quipped and Raven looked down towards the voice, only to find her own voice stuck in her throat.

Barbara was definitely the person that she was looking at but she was different, both physically and mentally…though she wasn't sure which one shocked her the most. Raven knew that she had been severely injured from the shot and she knew that there was some paralysis going on since the shot was to her spine but…she didn't know that she had to face Barbara in a wheel chair. A couple of crutches Raven could deal with but…a wheel chair?

She sighed.

It just made what she set out to do a lot harder.

"You can stop staring now, Raven." Barbara flashed her a smile, "You're gonna have to get used to it because I'm pretty sure that I'll be in this thing for a long time."

"Oh." Raven caught herself, "Sorry." She paused for a minute or two before continuing, "Is it OK if I come in?"

Barbara looked her straight in the eye and Raven was quite shocked at how fiercely green her eyes were. With her empathic powers automatically reacting to the strong emotions—and tensions—in the hallway, they wrapped themselves around Barbara and automatically jerked; Barbara was still healing and there was a sense of sadness and loss muddled up there somewhere but it was mostly overtaken by either determination or denial; it was like she was trying to heal for the sake of others instead of for herself.

"Sure, knock yourself out. I'll go get you a pot of tea." Barbara answered, her fingers tapping at the wheels, "You like tea, right?"

Raven nodded before letting herself in to the small apartment; it was small, only really fit for one person, but they had managed to accommodate two, "Yes, but it's not necessary though I appreciate the gesture."

"Do," the red-haired woman's eyes sharpened at her reply and anger suddenly burst through her empathic powers, "you think that I can't make a pot of tea myself? Just because I'm in this damned wheelchair?" She was seething in a way that wouldn't seem probable for someone without a disability.

"No, of course I think that you're perfectly capable of making your own tea." As if on instinct, Raven kneeled down to make sure that she was at Barbara's level and frowned, "Though I am truly, truly sorryfor your loss and for the pain that you must've felt and regretful that I wasn't there to ease your wounds, that isn't what I'm here for." She stood up once again and eyed Dick, "Dick and I need to talk." There was a sense that he was avoiding her and that small reaction caused her to look straight into his eyes and glare at him, her fists balling up at her sides, "We need to talk."

At that, she could feel every part of him prickling, bursting into impatient flames that licked away at any feelings of regret and guilt. He stared her down like she was a villain of some sort—like she was Slade reincarnated or something—and suddenly that anger turned into her own, and it blurred the barriers so she wasn't sure who's anger it belonged to anymore. It didn't matter anyway, here, this close to Dick Grayson, she was one with him, every thought and emotion was hers now too; it was inevitable with the close proximity and all.

"Sit." He suddenly gestured a pale finger at a really shabby looking couch, "I'll be with you in a minute. I just need to talk to Babs for a second."

Raven sat straight away and vaguely saw them walk into what she thought must've been the kitchen or something and rather, she felt Dick's worry and concerns rather than saw or heard whatever dialogue they were having. It wasn't heated—she clutched at her chest automatically—but there were pangs of nervousness and slivers of affection and over protectiveness and…reluctance, there was a lot of reluctance. Raven could barely hear what they were saying but Barbara sounded like she was trying to reassure him of something, accompanied by squeaking wheels and heavy sighs. A shake of the head was felt and for a second she forgot that it wasn't her own head that had been shaking, and instinctively she gripped at the couch's fabric for comfort; it was so difficult to resist the unification of identities when she was so close to him.

Suddenly she felt his footsteps come closer and she looked up from her strange reverie; Barbara was not with him and he was holding a steaming cup of hot tea—normal sachet tea by the smell of it—before pushing it into her hands almost roughly, barely missing burning her fingers with the hot liquid. He sat down just as roughly too, with his rumpled hair and his tight knuckles, and there were lines on his face that she didn't remember seeing when he was back in the Titans, even with Slade around those lines weren't as apparent as they were now. Raven immediately touched her face and shook her head to herself; for a moment there she had felt like there were lines on her face too, lines like his that were lines but not, essentially, lines.

By Azar, she was getting as paranoid as, well, Dick Grayson.

"So."

Raven nodded in return, "So." Her voice equally as monotonous.

"We haven't met in a while."

"And whose fault is that?" Raven asked, her voice was almost scathing but not quite, her brows raised sceptically, "We waited for you to call but you haven't."

"I've been busy. You probably already know that."

Another nod, she did know that, but it still wasn't an excuse to practically abandon the team and just let it crumble into…

"Still, an e-mail would've been nice." Raven scratched her wrists, annoyed at the niceties that they had to undertake, "Snail mail would be inconvenient…but reassuring." She shook her head, letting violet strands kiss her face, "Anything, by Azar, would've been better than not contacting us at all."

There were a few moments of silences between them but Raven could feel the undercurrents of everything that was happening to him, and she knew that he could feel every emotion, every feeling, of hers as if it was his own. It was as if there was nothing in the room—there was no room—except them two and even then it felt strange, like she was merging and separating into him consecutively. There was even a moment when her lips formed an 'O' in understanding and he mirrored her, though she was sure that that was just a coincidence.

She finally broke the silence, "So how is Barbara?"

He bit his lip before answering, "She's…coping but she's moody. One time she's fine and other times she all…depressed or has nightmares and in those times all I can do is be there to comfort her." Dick inhaled quietly, "How is…she?"

It was Raven's turn to pause and to actually think on what to say. There was no question to who he was referring to but at the same time, she didn't know if he deserved to know what was happening in her life after what he did to her. Breaking someone's heart may seem petty to some people—and that included her before today—but it wasn't and it was the least petty thing in the world and it impacted everyone, not only the person who had their hearts broken.

"Fine. Her modelling career's sky-rocketed." Raven wasn't sure if she said that to spite him or not but it felt right, "She's not happy but she's content and she's…well, if you really wanted to know how she is then you'd call her but since…" she shook her head, "Kori's dating again. Or, she is going on a date this week and I'm hoping that the date will go well." With that she looked him straight in the eye.

There was a flicker in his eye that she could only interpret after experiencing a heart-lunge in her own chest but apart from that he didn't say anything about it, "I hope so too. Raven, I'm sorry for what I did but I can't change it, OK? What's done is done and the past is supposed to stay in the past."

"Well, that's irony there for someone who's motivated to work due to the past." She licked her dry lips, feeling the cracks and peels in them, "Ironic and hypocritical."

He grunted, "You can't blame me for everything, Raven, things were falling apart even before I left. I had to come here Raven…I mean…Babs…" Almost instinctively, he raised a hand to brush through his jet-black hair, "I couldn't leave Babs like that—like this—because…God, Raven, do you know what it feels like to have flown and then for some maniac to have shot you down? She already quit being Bat Girl before she got shot but that doesn't mean she wasn't going to take it up again…" he shook his head, "She needs me."

"She needs you…like we need you?" She pursed her lips, "Yes, I understand that her disability may have emotionally deterred her but…Dick…you have responsibilities. I should've known that you didn't tell Bruce or Alfred about you being here in Gotham. They'd have kicked you straight back into Jump City, kicking and screaming and whatnot."

"Well what would you have done, Raven?" He gritted his teeth, seething, "What would you have done? I've known Babs since I was a kid and she was there for me every step of the way…we were always there for each other no matter what. If…if your mum broke her spine would you have stayed? Would you!?"

"No. I wouldn't have. But I wouldn't have gone off under the pretence of another issue."

"It was necessary…They wouldn't have understood."

Raven arched a brow, "Necessary why? Do you think none of us have lost someone before? By Azar, Dick, I knew you were an idiot but this was really taking the cake. We would have understood…Azar…we would have let you go if you told us…but you didn't and that's the point."

She felt him breathe a heavy sigh, "Well I can't take anything back, and I don't really want to." He sat up straighter this time, "Babs is what's the most important to me now and I can't change that. I can't change the way I feel about the whole situation, Raven. It's just all so…complicated." There was a finality to that word that she couldn't describe, as if he wanted her to stop the conversation right there and then, but she knew that he knew that she wasn't stopping anytime soon.

"And you can't change the way you feel about her." Raven didn't know which her she was talking about, but she was sure that he would interpret it in his own way, "You love her. I know, I can feel it."

"Yea…I guess I do. Maybe…maybe it's the wrong kind of love, Raven, or maybe it's just developed in the wrong time. But I do love her, I really do." His hard brows softened slowly, making way for the old Dick Grayson that she knew and loved, "I know that that wasn't the reason that I left, that maybe I was just using the break up as an excuse to come back here to…" he paused, looking her in the eye with his ice blue ones, "her. To home…I don't know…just to come back." They hardened again, the lines digging into his skin desperately, "I've just had a complete paradigm shift on life Raven, give me a bit of a break."

She placed her tea down on the coffee table for a second without a drop drunk and reached out to pat his shoulder awkwardly, "I know Dick, OK? I know. I didn't come here to berate you and beast you until you bled to death." He gave her a wry grin at that moment and she shrugged in reply, "OK, maybe I did…at first…but," her chest twanged for a second there, "I just wanted you to know that we need you, almost as badly as Barbara does, and Jump City needs you…and we've been an emotional shamble since you've left. More so than before." Raven bit her lower lip, pressing it harder and harder by the second, "And I promised that I'd make it all better, that everything will go back to normal. I promised."

He grunted and pulled away from her and at that moment she felt angry and sad and reminiscent all mushed up inside of her. She was almost sure that it wasn't her emotion, that it was Dick's feelings, but at the same time, it felt so strong that maybe it was hers; maybe she was feeling a little angry, a little sad and a little reminiscent.

She wasn't sure.

He shook his head, a lump of regret was felt in her stomach, "You know that it's not gonna go back to normal…nothing is. We're…growing up…life isn't some little cubby hole that we can stay in, even if that cubby hole was a T-shaped building in the middle of an island with all of the state of the arts weaponry."

"Right." She scoffed, "Growing up. Right." She shook her head too, frowning sullenly, "Growing up is inevitable no matter what Peter Pan said but not like this. What happened to growing up together? As a family? I know that Gotham was your home and will always be your home but…home, as sentimentally soppy as this is, is where the heart is and I thought, for a moment, that your heart was with us."

"You are family, Raven, all of you are…I just feel that my priorities are somewhere else right now."

Raven couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes at him, despite how insensitive she knew it was, "Then let me push it, let me be mean and brutal and precise and concise." He groaned at her words, as if knowing what she was going to say…actually, he probably did know what she was going to say, "You have to take into account your professional ethics, Dick. Professional ethics compels you to stay to your job no matter what, and private lives do not count…not when you're us…not when you're responsible for a whole city. You signed a contract with the governing powers of Jump City and have been assigned by our superiors—namely those unbearable Justice League members—to take care of Jump City and you, Dick, cannot run away from your responsibilities. It's just unethical, professionally."

He growled at her, "You just had to push that button, didn't you Raven? Raven I can't…I can't think about it anymore, not now…later…just…now now." He stood up suddenly, almost knocking over his chair, "I've got to tend to Babs."

"You know you can't avoid this forever, right? One of these days you'll have to relent and come back because you know that it's the right thing to do no matter how strong your feelings of attachment are to this place…or to her." She sighed heavily, finally picking up the teacup again to take a sip out of it; it was cold now, and too bitter, far too bitter, "I'm not saying abandon everything here all together…just…don't abandon us."

At those words, they were both still, just staring—or was it glaring?—at each other, swimming through each other's emotions and trying to figure out which one belonged to which person. Her head spun slightly as she felt him shift, and she saw him twitch a little as a surge of annoyance came through her. Raven crossed her arms in front of her as he kept looking at her, as if inquiring what was happening, but he never really voiced the question; he just stood there, standing, like he needed to say something, wanted to say something but…couldn't. There was something different, she realised, about the way he moved too…it was more stoic and less fluid, the grace of an acrobat lessened every time she looked at him, and the flat expression had been replaced by a mirage of emotions, like abstract paintings on a canvas. Maybe he was right, they were all growing, and he had found a way to grow up separately, detached, and without the Titans.

Suddenly everything came back to her; she remembered that she was in Barbara's apartment, with real live furniture and shabby wallpapers. Raven realised that she was somewhere physically and she had not been in a mental battle with Dick Grayson exclusively, she had also been somewhere where she could touch, smell, see and hear things. She smoothed her hand over the leather covering over the sofa and smiled to herself; nothing had changed really, despite her efforts.

"I'm not going back to Jump until you agree, you know?"

He gave her a wry smile, almost forceful, and yet there was some sincerity in it, "Then you'll be here for a long time. I'm not going any time soon."

"Sooner than you think, I hope, for both our sakes."

"For our sakes…" he mumbled to himself and his frown deepened, "Raven, where are you gonna be staying while in Gotham?"

She paused at this question; she hadn't really thought about it actually. Raven had figured that she'd be all nostalgic and go find some secluded corner in the city where she could stay in for the night like she used to before the Teen Titans but she was sure that wouldn't go so well with Dick.

"You're not staying out there in the streets Raven." He answered before she could get a word out, "You're staying here tonight, you can crash on the couch, I'm sure that Babs wouldn't mind…given the circumstances."

Raven had the sense not to argue with him, "OK. But I won't be going tomorrow if you don't come back with me." She pushed on.

"Raven…I…" he sighed once again before finally shaking his head, mumbling words to himself, "I'll get you a blanket and a pillow…just get yourself comfortable or something."

Raven nodded slowly, "Thanks."

"By the way…" Dick looked uncertain of himself, which was pretty rare, "did something happen today? I felt…sad and angry and shit. Raven did you—?"

She shook her head, "Later…not now…one thing at a time." She sighed, mirroring his, "One thing at a time."

He nodded in reply and scurried off to wherever her was going to, probably wither to Barbara to inform her that Raven was sleeping over, or to wherever the pillows and blankets were kept…she didn't know. There were times when she felt like she was doing the right thing, where she was sure—as sure as she was of the afterlife—that there was no other action that would be the most advantageous…the most…righteous but…right now…she felt like she was intruding into someone else's life…someone who she didn't know of so well, despite having known Dick for almost a decade. There was a sense that he was different, despite the fact that he was a part of her, and she felt the bond suddenly change and squirm in her insides. The bond tugged uncomfortably and she forced herself to sit still in her seat, to drink the tea that was in her hands.

Raven promised Kori that she would make everything better but…she wasn't so sure of it anymore.

A/N: So anyway, as I said, one of my weaker chappies...but I swear we'll have some sort of progression! But I can't guarantee that it will solve all the myriad of problems.

:evil cackle:

Anyway a few things that I wanted to say...

- Dick is a bit OOC, I'm sowwi for all the Robin fans out there...I just haven't written him in a million years and so it was a bit of an effort to actualy write him again.

- Also, I KNOW that I said that Raven wouldn't tell Kori just yet, but I felt that if Raven really DID go, she would at least tell Kori a lil bit, since they're best buddies and all.

- Raven will be in Gotham for a while methinks, what do you think of that?

- Also, what do you think of Raven leaving to go get Robin back, a good decision or a bad decision? What do you think Beast Boy will think of her leaving?

- Most importantly; do you think it's OK for Robin to be with Barbara?

Ah, beloved readers, I love you all so very, very much...hope I'll see you soon yea?

Don't forget to review!