Note to Reviewers: I know I can and should use the email to get back to you, but I simply haven't the time at the moment to do it! Terrible excuse I know. However I wanted you all to know that I appreciate that you have taken the time to read this story and to those of you who have added me to their favourite author list, many thanks, I am very flattered. And Ellfine? Yes Eonwe is a hunk. I almost fancy him myself! This chapter is a long one folks.

OoOoo

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
"I don't much care where-" said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.
"-so long as I get SOMEWHERE," Alice added as an explanation.
"Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll.

Alun in Wonderland

At first there was nothing, just an impenetrable mist, so impenetrable that he actually began to panic and started to hyperventilate. This carried on for a number of seconds that actually felt like hours until he realised that the reason he wasn't breathing properly was simply because he didn't have a physical body. It made a spooky sort of sense that since he had no lungs to breathe with, the hyperventilating was really a figment of his imagination, so instead he tried to concentrate on seeing through the mist; an equally impossible task since without physical eyes he wasn't actually seeing anything at all. He wasn't really there, he simply 'was'.

Alun Davies was aware of a vague unease that his body may still be sitting in his car in the driveway while his soul or essence was elsewhere. So was he dead then? Was this death and was this heaven, because if so, it wasn't comforting at all. Where was the bright light and the crowd of dead relatives waiting to greet him? Perhaps they couldn't find their way in all this mist. An almost hysterical snigger escaped him, but of course he was the only one who could hear it.

On the other hand if he was actually alive, but his consciousness was here, wherever here was, then they may well have taken his body to the mortuary prior to performing a post mortem. Right about now his wife would be in bits and his kids…well it just didn't bear thinking about at all.

Okay, so these were not good thoughts to have. He felt the rapid onset of panic mode again.

He wondered if he was capable of moving forward through the mist and then dismissed the idea. How was he supposed to move without legs? If this is the afterlife, he thought, I really do hope they have an instruction manual for things like movement and communication. Not that there was anyone to actually communicate with. A bray of nervous laughter escaped him only to be swallowed up in the thick mist.

Varda and Vaire watched him with varying degrees of perplexity on their respective faces.

Vaire tittered nervously. "What is he trying to do?"

Varda frowned. "I have absolutely no idea. I do wish Irmo would hurry up; this not being able to talk to him in his dreams is most frustrating. Why on earth he has created this damn mist for himself is anyone's guess. Is this what mortals really see in their dreams?"

"He does not know he is dreaming. He thinks he is dead." Irmo's deep amused voice dropped into the conversation. "He is trying to operate as though he was conscious and he is worried, mostly about his family rather than his own fate."

Vaire looked baffled. "Is this mist all that mortals see once they pass beyond the circles of the earth then? How very bored they must be, and how in the name of Eru would you find any of your loved ones or friends in this?"

Irmo chuckled. "None of us know what they see; we are not permitted to know. The mist is of his own mind's creation, a way for his mind to indicate to him that he is currently dreaming and therefore disembodied."

"His mind could not have created a nice comfortable living room to sit in?" Asked Varda crossly.

Irmo laughed harder at that and waved his arm casually. The area immediately cleared and an utterly confounded Alun found himself seated on a comfortable wide cushioned bench. Beside him on a marble occasional table stood a carafe of pale golden liquid which he sniffed and identified as wine. There was also a bowl of ripe, delicious looking fruit. Alun's non-existent stomach growled in hunger and he realised that he hadn't had time to have dinner before he died; he'd been too busy trying to get home. He stared at the fruit longingly.

"Help yourself to fruit." Irmo stepped into the area and beckoned Varda and Vaire to follow him.

Alun nearly jumped out of his skin when this magnificent god-like being sauntered in. He was completely bereft of speech when two more of the most beautiful creatures in god's own heaven followed him. Each bestowed on him a stunning smile that wiped the floor with what was left of his presence of mind. And it wasn't often that Alun Davies was speechless.

"Wh..wh…who…who.." He stuttered and could have smacked himself upside the head for sounding like a demented owl.

The gorgeous male creature stepped forward with a cheerful smile, captured his hand and shook it warmly. "Who are we?" Alun nodded. "I am Lord Irmo …er…one of the Valar and these are two of my fellow Valar, Lady Varda Elentari and Lady Vaire ."

"Wh..wh…wh…" Alun cursed inwardly at his apparent inability to string together a coherent sentence.

"Where are you?" Irmo queried kindly. Alun nodded again, this time a little wearily. "You are nowhere really, given that you are currently either unconscious or in a deep sleep. Your mind has created what it deems a safe dream area and we are here because we wish to speak to you while you are in this dream state."

Alun considered this for a few moments. "I see." He said slowly trying to collect the scattered remnants of his thoughts as best he could. He took heart in the fact that he had just combined two fairly coherent words together and tried for a whole sentence. "Why..." He cleared his throat or rather the dream state version of his throat. "Why couldn't you just talk to me when I'm awake?"

"Because the place where your physical body currently rests is not accessible to us." Said Irmo quietly.

Alun frowned at this. "Why?" He felt like a child asking the same plaintive question over and over again ad nauseam.

Varda plucked at Irmo's sleeve. "Are we able to speak to him now?"

Irmo nodded and moved to the small table. He poured out four glasses of wine and handed one each to Alun, Varda and Vaire, before taking one and sitting down on the bench opposite the confused Alun who perched nervously on the front of his bench awkwardly holding the glittering crystal glass in a death grip.

Varda sat down beside Alun and gave her most reassuring smile. Somewhere in between being terrified of dropping what looked like a priceless crystal goblet and getting totally lost in Varda's starlit eyes, he lost what little power of speech he had gained and nodded stupidly. Now he felt like one of those stupid little nodding dogs in the back window of someone's car.

"Hello A-lann. I may call you by that name may I?" She gave him a dazzling smile and he nodded again. "Good. Firstly, to answer your very good question, your body is not currently where you believe it to be."

"Am I dead?" Alun demanded bluntly, finally finding his voice.

Varda and her two companions looked suitably shocked. "No indeed." Varda reassured him. "Far from it. The thing is that someone who does not mean you well has brought you here through circumstances beyond our control which have been created by accident." She looked desperately at Irmo and Vaire who both shrugged in unison. That was about as good as it got explanation-wise.

Alun settled back on the bench and managed to take a sip of the wine by holding the goblet firmly with both slightly trembling hands. "Ah, you mean the interspatial rift which has created a temporal causality." He tried to sound casual, but his heart sank. If these wonderful beings weren't responsible for bringing him here then the alternative had to be a lot worse.

"Yes." The three Valar all blurted out at the same time. Then they looked at each other. "Absolutely." Irmo said firmly even though he hadn't the foggiest idea what Alun had just said. "The creature we are referring to is the lieutenant of a fallen Vala called Melkor who is now known as Morgoth Bauglir , his name is Sauron."

Alun raised an eyebrow. "And a Vala would be?"

"We sprang from the Music at the creation." Vaire said helpfully. " Eru Iluvator , the creator gave us life, the Maiar, of whom Sauron is one, are I suppose the next level down."

"Like angels?" Alun leant forward. This was getting interesting, albeit a little confusing.

Varda looked confused. "I am not sure what angels are. Did they spring from the Music at the will of the creator?"

It was Alun's turn to look confused and he was much better at it. "Well, nobody knows really, but you said creator, so I took that to mean the deity we call God. He had archangels and ordinary angels to serve him. They were called Messengers of God."

Varda looked relieved and her relief was mirrored in both Irmo's and Vaire's faces. "Ah, yes, then I suppose you could call us Eru's archangels and the Maiar would be angels. It seems that things are not so different in your modern world."

"Modern world? Am I to understand that I've come back in time then to the same place our other people were lost in?"

Varda coloured. "I fear so, if you are referring to Garee, Jim, the Chief and Kim."

"I am indeed. Are they alive and well?"

Varda exchanged a glance with Irmo and Vaire before answering. "They are all alive and as far as we know they are all well, for the moment, but there is a problem. In fact there are two rather pressing problems."

Alun sighed and took another sip of his wine. He reached out for a deliciously ripe and firm-looking peach and bit into it. The taste was sublime; just exactly what he would have assumed that peaches in heaven would taste like. "I'm delighted to hear they're well, but what sort of problem are we talking about? Is it something to do with the matter of the missing assault weapons by any chance?" He asked between bites. The juice dribbled down his chin and Vaire silently handed him a cloth to wipe his fingers and chin with. He smiled at her. "Thank you ma'am." Vaire laughed softly and acknowledged his thanks by inclining her head.

Varda swallowed. There was no easy way to say this. "Yes." She said baldly. "They are currently in the hands of one of Morgoth's minions, an Orc called Thadak, and Kim is with child by our Herald."

"Good gracious me, they have been busy."

"Never a dull moment." Agreed Varda.

"Okay, so what does this Sour person want with me? He must have brought me here for some purpose."

"Sauron." Irmo corrected him gently. "And we are not exactly sure what he wants with you, but we believe that it is related to these 'assault weapons' as you term them." Irmo had no idea what an assault weapon was but it didn't sound nice and harmless by any means.

Alun stared intently at the Vala. "Right, but why would he need someone like me? Does he have the weapons?"

"Not yet." Varda hastened to assure him. "They are presently in the hands of one of Morgoth's minions as we said before, but he has yet to get to Thangorodrim, which is where you are, or rather where your body is."

Alun got up and paced around the furnished area of his dream space. "I do suppose you have someone trying to get them back from this orc person?"

Varda nodded. "Yes, Ereinion Gil-galad who is the High King of the Elves in Arda Marred is chasing him with his army and they have Eonwe with them."

"And Eonwe would be?"

"Our Herald or rather my husband Lord Manwe's herald. He is a Maiar and a mighty warrior, the mightiest in arms in all Valinor." She added as an afterthought,

Alun assimilated the information that was flying his way as best he could. "This Herald chappie, Eonwe, would he be the same herald who's responsible for getting Sgt Freeman pregnant?"

"If I understand you correctly, the answer would be yes." Varda hedged a little.

"Right. And what's he doing in this Arda Marred place? Just hanging around?"

Varda sighed. This was becoming extremely complicated. "Well...no. He is the Commander of the Host of the Valar, our armies who we have sent to capture Morgoth and bring him back in chains."

"Right. And he also happens to be chasing this Orc? Who's leading the army while he's doing that?" Alun sat back down on the bench and crossed his leg over his knee, his favourite position it had to be said.

"I wouldn't mind knowing that as well." Muttered Irmo darkly from the other side of the furnished area.

Varda huffed another sigh. "Well, your Garee is with the Host in Eonwe's place."

Alun's eyebrows met his hairline. "Let me get this straight. The mightiest in arms Herald chap who commands your army has been replaced by a buckshee Major in the British Army so that he can get women pregnant and chase an orc with our assault weapons?"

"What is buck-shee?" Varda asked. She looked totally confused.

Alun grinned for the first time since the conversation began. "Never mind, just a bit of idiomatic talk. Buckshee sort of means extra, surplus to requirements, meaning that Majors in the British Army are ten a penny and not very important."

"Oh." Varda's face fell a little. "Eonwe is very important."

"So I gather, which makes me wonder at the fact that Major Matthews is not chasing the orc chappie and your Herald isn't leading your army."

"I'd like to know that too." Irmo muttered again under his breath. Vaire smiled sweetly and ground her small heel into his foot. "Ouch. What did you do that for?" He demanded of Vaire.

Varda coloured slightly. "Well, it's not that easy to explain..."

Alun laughed softly. "I'm beginning to get that impression." He said dryly. "Give it a whirl."

"Give what a whirl? Oh...I see what you mean." Varda blushed an even brighter red. "Well...Eonwe and your Major are one and the same person, only in different time dimensions. Major Matthews is a future version of our beloved Herald. Because of the rift we have ended up with two of them and as they get closer together they begin to meld into one form, so they swap bodies every now and again, only the frequency and time spent in the other's body is increasing. Hence Eonwe is currently in the Major's body and the Major is currently in Eonwe's body, but they are really the same body."

Alun sat back down beside Varda, his face suddenly serious. "Right. So, if I understand what you're telling me correctly the time spent apart in the different versions of the same person will eventually cease and this Eonwe and Major Matthews will then just be one person? And I am guessing it will be Eonwe as he is now? And it was Eonwe in the body of the Major who got Sgt Freeman pregnant."

Varda beamed with pleasure. This was an intelligent, perceptive mortal. Intelligence and perception she could cope with. "Yes you have it exactly!" She grinned in triumph at Vaire and Irmo. Irmo glowered back at her as he realised the extent to which he and the other Valar had been left out of this situation.

"Okay, I think I understand what's happened, but what I don't understand is why this Sourpuss chap would pick on me?"

"Sauron." They all corrected him in unison.

Alun flapped his hand dismissively. "Whoever. Why would he need me? What have I got to do with military assault weapons?"

"I would imagine." Irmo interposed. "That he needs someone to show him how they workand has assumed you can." Varda and Vaire nodded enthusiastically.

"He thinks I know how they work does he?" Alun queried. He began to dredge up what he could remember of his weapons training. Like every other policemen he did some small arms training regularly, but the larger heavy duty assault rifles that the army used weren't the weapon of choice for the police, well not usually, although they did use sub-machine guns when they were on armed duty at places like airports.

Varda hesitated. "Well, we assumed that it was for that."

"I see." Alun said slowly. "So let's assume it is for that purpose that Sourplum wants me here."

"Sauron." Irmo repeated automatically.

"Whatever. Sauron. If it is then what exactly do you want me to do? I'm sure you'll have noticed but I'm going to be pretty much on my own in this Thankgodrie place." Irmo opened his mouth to correct him and Vaire stamped a little harder on his foot, so he subsided, muttering darkly to himself about interfering females. "No backup from other police officers. I'm also guessing that if I refuse to help my goose is pretty much cooked?"

"Why is he talking about cooking? Is he going to cook Sauron dinner? How extraordinary." Vaire whispered in Irmo's ear.

Irmo shrugged. "Who knows? Perhaps that's what modern mortals do when they are in danger." He whispered back.

Vaire considered this for a second. "Oh, you mean like making an offering to appease Sauron? I see. Although I am not sure Sauron would appreciate the gesture." Her eyebrows knitted together. "I am not even sure he likes goose, whatever that is"

The Police Inspector would have had to have been deaf not to hear the whispered conversation. "My goose is cooked is a way of saying that my life would be forfeit." He said patiently. "If I refuse Sourpuss, then he kills me."

Varda nodded. "Yes, I am afraid that is what it would mean."

"Only with much pain and torture." Vaire added brightly.

"Well...that's encouraging." Alun responded. He couldn't resist giving a slight eye roll. "I still don't understand. Does this Sourpuss not have people there who could figure out how the weapons work? They're pretty simple really. They are simply mechanical devices which propel small balls out of the barrel at high velocity. This gives them the power to travel long distances and make big holes in people. Very big lethal holes."

Irmo poured himself another glass of wine and gestured with the bottle to Alun's goblet. Alun shook his head, he had the feeling that he would need a clear head once he woke up. Could he get drunk in dreams?

"Well, I admit I was wondering the same thing to be honest." Irmo took a sip of the wine.

Varda sat for a moment and thought. "You are quite right. There are corrupted Maiar with Morgoth who were Maiar of Aule the Smith. They would be more than capable of this. There could be another reason of course. It is also possible that Sauron wishes to draw the Host to Thangorodrim before they are prepared."

"And what better way to do it than threaten someone close to this Herald of yours." Alun nodded. "Someone who is carrying his child? But he needs to get her first and preferably without a huge fuss, which is where I come in I guess. Where is Sgt Freeman now?"

Varda flushed. "Well she's currently with the Kinslayers."

Alun expelled a huge frustrated breath. "Kinslayers? They sound a bit violent to me."

"They are, or rather they can be, especially if they're hindered in their quest for the Simarils." Vaire said with a smile.

"What's a... " Alun waved his hand at Vaire. "Never mind, I don't think I want or need to know. Is she safe with them?"

Irmo got up and wandered around the furnished area fingering the fine fluted columns. "Possibly not. She would probably be safer if someone of her own kind was with her. However they will probably eventually deliver her to the Commander of the Host. She would be safer there, but a pregnant woman travelling with an army at war?" He shook his head in doubt.

"And the Commander is Major Matthews at the moment." Alun mused. "So why would Sourplum need me? Unless he needs someone who Sgt Freeman knows and would trust to take her to him, perhaps under the ruse of taking her home."

"Which is, of course, exactly what we wish you to do. Take her home to her own time, I mean." Varda declared triumphantly. "We wish you to take her to safety and to where she cannot be a distraction to either Eonwe or the Major while they retrieve these hideous weapons and she cannot go alone, so we created a path to bring you here for that purpose. It had to be someone like you who had also experienced the rift. It would not allow any other from your time through. Only Sauron sensed the path and used it to bring you here before we could."

Alun sat down and started to pull the pieces of the puzzle together. "So all I have to do is fall in with whatever Sourpuss has planned for me as long as it's to do with Kim. And make sure you're all kept in the loop."

"Loop?" Irmo looked confused, as did Varda and Vaire. "What is this loop you refer to?"

"Keeping somebody in the loop means keeping them informed." Alun explained.

"Ah." Irmo looked down his nose at Varda and Vaire. "You mean what these two and Manwe have apparently not been doing with their fellow Valar over this...peculiar situation." Varda and Vaire had the grace to look a little shamefaced.

"I guess so." Alun chuckled.A wave of dizziness suddenly assaulted him and he clutched the edge of the bench to support himself. For a moment the mist floated in front of his eyes and obliterated the three Valar, who were gazing at him in concern.

"What is happening to him?" Varda asked in a worried voice.

"He is beginning to wake up, or is being woken up." Irmo said. "We have run out of time."

Alun shook his head and managed to bring the Valar into focus. "I think I've got the picture." He said reassuringly. "You're just going to have to trust me from here on in. What happens when I have Sgt Freeman with me?"

"We will be watching and will know. Our actions in Arda Marred are severely limited, but we can at least guide you back to the rift. You should be able to pass through without injury, but be warned mortal, there is no way back." Varda's voice had taken on a stern tone.

"No offence, but that suits me just fine." Alun responded mildly. He held his hand out politely and the three Valar just stared at it with confused expressions on their faces, so he withdrew it. "I think I hear my kidnappers calling me. Nice to have met you..." His voice became further and further away until it was nothing but a mere whisper then he finally winked out of sight.

Irmo popped a luscious black grape in his mouth and chewed appreciatively. "Nice decent sort of mortal. It would be nice to meet him again."

"Yes." Varda said softly. "He was a nice mortal. I hope he is all right. I hope Sauron does not torture or kill him."

Vaire shuddered delicately. "Indeed no. The ramifications of his death here would be terrible, not just for our Arda but for the future of Arda. He has been brought here by force, not even by accident or design."

"So this is where you are all hiding." Manwe Sulimo materialised into the furnished area and looked around. "Anything happening that I should know about?" He leant over and kissed Varda on her cheek and she leaned on his shoulder affectionately.

"Oh not at all." Irmo declared airily. "Unless of course you consider keeping the rest of us in the loop not to be important." With that, the Valar in charge of dreams disappeared from the scene.

"Loop? What does he mean by loop?" Manwe asked Varda who froze and looked around desperately for assistance.

Vaire stood up abruptly. "I have a terrible headache. I need hot baths with perfumed oils and cold compresses, now."

"I think I will join you." Varda said hastily. They linked arms and also hastily dematerialised before they could be asked any awkward questions.

Manwe looked up at the heavens as if hoping for enlightenment from Eru. "Loop? What does that mean?" He asked plaintively, but there was no answer. He sighed, sat down and poured himself some wine. "Nobody ever tells me anything." He mourned.

ooOoo

Consciousness slowly seeped into Alun Davies' brain. Slowly shapes in the darkened room began to solidify into tables and chairs and the bed he was lying in. Dark coloured bed curtains were looped back from the bedposts with twisted cords which gleamed a dull gold in the flickering light from a dying fire in the large cavernous grate. A dim light from one taper candle pooled around the immediate area of the table it stood on and provided the only other light in a room which was otherwise shrouded in darkness.

But out of the darkness came a voice. Not an unpleasant voice by any means, in fact the tones were distinctly silken, yet Alun still detected a slight undertone of menace. This was not a good place, he sensed. It was a place of dark deeds and great evil. The shadows and darkness in the room were not entirely from the lack of light. Alun shivered slightly as a deep miasma of dread sent eldritch fingers down his spine.

A dark figure suddenly separated itself from the shadows and revealed itself to be more or less human shaped.

"Awake at last I see. Welcome to Thangorodrim Detective Inspector Davies. I am Sauron, trusted lieutenant of Morgoth Bauglir, the Dark Lord and Master of Arda Marred. I have a task for you."

ooOoo