Title: Family
Time Setting: At the end of Star Trek IV.
Codes: Kirk, McCoy and the rest of the original crew.
Summary: The crew contemplates their fate prior to the Court Martial.
Disclaimer: Star Trek and characters are Paramount's property, I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. Any original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author.
Copyright 2005
Chapter 7
After sitting in the waiting room all day, Jim was pacing the living area like a caged animal. Bones and Scotty sat on the sofa watching him and waiting for Spock's arrival. Sulu and Chekov flanked them sitting in chairs. Uhura was in her room changing clothes. They all wanted to help but were at a loss of what to do. Jim reached the windows and stood for a while before pacing to the door and back again. The guards knocked and Spock entered. "Thank God," Bones muttered to himself.
"Gentlemen, I wanted to check to see if there is anything you require." Spock moved over to the windows to stand near Jim.
"Yes, Spock, I need to get out of here, now." Jim turned to face the window and Spock raised his eyebrow at McCoy and the others. Bones shrugged his shoulders and Scotty shook his head in resignation.
"Actually, I believe I can handle your request. The security guards are of my acquaintance and would be willing to accommodate." Spock looked from Kirk to McCoy.
Bones spoke up from the sofa, "Please get him out of here for a while, he's driving the rest of us nuts." Jim turned to stare at the doctor and then gave Spock a bemused look.
Spock and Jim headed to the door, Spock talked with the guards briefly and they were soon outside. "Is there any location you had in mind?"
"No place in particular, I just needed to get outside and feel the wind. It looks like the fog is starting to come in. Let's walk toward the bridge." Spock and Jim took the path which sloped gently down to the bay and would lead them to the Golden Gate Bridge.
The two friends walked in companionable silence for several minutes. "Jim, they are distressed for you. I am distressed for you."
"I know." Jim continued in silence.
"You have never admitted defeat before. Why now?" Spock never had a desire to learn how to be subtle.
Jim continued to walk and tried to look at Spock in the twilight. "Why not now?"
"Your life is not finished."
Jim stopped and looked at Spock, "But my career is."
"That is not a certainty, either." Spock returned the stare.
Jim refused to respond and continued to walk along the path. The setting sun was a firework of red, yellow and orange but Jim hardly noticed. He was too wrapped up in his troubles. They reached the bridge as darkness descended on the bay. The fog was thicker over the water than on the land. Jim walked a short distance onto the bridge and leaned on the railing. "The fog will be thick tonight."
"Jim, we need to discuss your circumstances."
"Not now, I just want to watch the fog roll in." Jim leaned on the railing as he stared at the water. He turned to Spock, "Can you give me some time to myself? I haven't been alone for days and I need some time to think." Jim moved away from the railing. "I want to walk for a while, I promise I'll be back soon."
"Very well, I will wait here." Spock was not concerned about Jim returning and hoped the walk would help him to think more clearly about his situation. Bones had given Spock a refresher course on the signs and symptoms of depression in humans and Jim fit the profile. Unless he began to fight for his career, even Spock could not ascertain a way to save Jim's career.
Within a few steps the fog was so thick Jim could no longer see a concerned Spock standing at the entrance of the bridge. Years of close contact had enabled him to see Vulcan emotions which others could not. Most people thought Vulcans were without emotions but Jim knew they were much more proficient at mastering their emotions. As he walked further into the fog, he kept his hand on the railing. His thoughts were a jumble of past failures and the faces of those crew people who had died on his watch, the destruction of the Enterprise and foremost in his mind was the death of his son. Suddenly he reached the center of the bridge and the fog had unexpectedly disappeared. Both ends of the bridge still vanished in a thick blanket of fog but where he was standing was clear. Benches dotted the length of the bridge with lights every few feet and Jim found one close by and sat down with his face in his hands.
He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting when he felt a hand on his shoulder, "Okay Spock, I'm ready to head back."
What he heard was a voice from his past, "Jim, darling, . . ."
Jim looked up and what he saw was the face of his one true love, Edith Keeler. "Oh God, I'm in a bigger mess than I thought, now I'm hallucinating. I really will wind up in that room next to Captain Garth."
Edith took his hands into hers and sat on the bench beside him. "Jim, you are not hallucinating. I was permitted to come to you so that I may help you. Over the years, I have watched you and protected you as much as I can but now I knew you needed me." She brought his hands to her face.
Jim cupped her face and said, "Edith, it can't be, but it is you. I can feel the warmth of your skin." Jim gently pulled Edith to himself. "Oh Edith, I love you." Her hands went around his neck and their lips met in a moment Jim had dreamed about for years.
Edith smiled as she pulled back so she could see Jim's face. "I have loved you ever since the moment I saw you in that dirty basement. But, we must talk, and I don't have much time."
"Edith how can you be here?"
"I can't explain and I only have a short time to be with you. We must not waste a single moment. You must listen to what I have to say."
Jim continued to hold Edith's hands in his. He felt if he let go she would disappear, he needed to feel her warmth to convince himself she was really here. "Edith, I'm so sorry, I should have saved you. I could have told you how you would change history. I should have begged you not to start the peace movement. If you wouldn't listen, I should have brought you to the future with me." Jim realized he sounded less than coherent as the words tumbled out of his mouth. For years, Jim had gone over and over the events which led up to Edith's death. He never thought he would be able to talk to Edith about the consequences of his decision to let her die.
"My love, I don't blame you. I would never have believed you. I would have continued to work to stop our entry into the war. You did the right thing, I wanted to save thousands but you were saving the future." Jim had refused to look at Edith during her speech. Edith gently turned his face to look at hers.
Jim gazed into Edith's eyes and did not see blame but he still condemned himself. "If you didn't believe me, I could have brought you to the future."
"What would I have done in the future? I would have been out of place and out of my time. You had your career. I could not have stayed with you on your ship. Jim, it was my destiny to die at that time and your ship was your destiny." She pulled Jim into another long embrace. She leaned back and said, "Now, you must listen to me. You have blamed yourself for too long. You have always done what you must do. Khan, McCoy's accident, my death, Spock's death, the destruction of your ship, and David's death, none of it was your fault. You did the best you could with the circumstances you were given. Do not beat yourself up over these happenings. You have taken terrible events like the probe and V'ger and turned them into good for your universe. You saved the future when you returned from my time, a future which deserved to be saved. You've saved your future and friends, many times, over the years."
Jim interrupted, "But, I let my son die. A son I never knew and will never know."
"Throughout time, people have wondered, why me, why my child? There is no answer to that question unless it is, why not my child? What would you have changed? Would you have killed Khan when you first met him? Would you have left Spock on the Genesis planet? Would you have wished David was never born? Would you have sacrificed this universe to stay with me in the past? Events happened and you did what you had to do. I don't blame you and neither does David. Do you wish you had never become a starship captain? If you had not been present how many events would have been changed, how many planets would have suffered. With the help of your family you have always recovered from the disappointments and failures. You must find the strength to overcome these trials again." She drew his hands to her and kissed them.
Jim pulled his hands away and stood with his back to Edith. "I have no family to speak of, my Mother is dead, my nephew and I have not seen each other more than a handful of times over the last twenty years. Carol and I were never really family and she never even let me be a father to my own son."
Edith walked around in front of him, "This self pity is not you, Jim Kirk. Don't you think I had reason to feel sorry for myself? My parents had very little family, and I was an only child. They died in a car accident and I was alone. My father left me millions but most of it was lost in the stock market crash. I decide I could feel sorry for myself or I could take what was left and help others. I sold everything including the big mansion and moved into that neighborhood where you stumbled onto me. I found myself in that grimy little mission. I learned to worry about others first. So many people needed help, a good meal, some warm clothes and a place to sleep. Those people became my family, as much a family as my parents. Jim, you have a large family who loves and care for you, never forget you have Leonard, Spock, Nyota, Pavel, Scotty, and Hikaru. You also have all the men and women you have worked with over the years. They care for you and many offered their support while you were at Mt. Seleya. Didn't they?" Edith place her hand under Jim's chin and raised his head until he looked her in the eyes. His eyes told her he agreed with her. "Jim, you have so much work left to do. You will face other trials and hardships but you must not give up. Gain strength from your friends, from your family. I must leave soon. Promise me you will continue to fight for your life and your career, my love."
Jim pulled Edith into an embrace and buried his face into her hair. He wanted to remember everything about this moment. "I will fight, Edith. But, can't you stay with me awhile longer."
"No, I must go but promise me you will always fight, someday we will be together but you have many more years before that can happen. Remember. I will be watching over you, my dear." Edith began to pull away from Jim, and as she backed up, he continued to hold her hand. He was finding it difficult to keep a grip on her hand and the fog seemed to engulf her. "Not yet, Edith."
In the distance he heard his name being shouted, "KIRK!" He turned to see who was calling him and noticed the fog had completely cleared on that end of the bridge. In the distance he could see Spock, Admiral Cartwright, and several security guards approaching.
Jim turned back and looked at Edith, she seemed to fade in front of his eyes. He tried to maintain his grip on her hand but there was nothing to hold onto. "Edith, I love you!"
"Jim, I love you! I will see you again . . . someday . . ." With those words, Edith faded from view. Jim did not notice Spock or Cartwright's approach.
"What the Hell are you doing Kirk, just like always, defying orders? Prisoners don't usually go for a midnight stroll." Jim did not respond which only angered Cartwright.
Spock stepped in front of the Admiral, "Jim, are you okay? I assured the Admiral he did not have to be distressed that you would escape but he chose not to believe me."
Spock's words finally pulled Jim back to the present. He blinked a couple of times and focused on Spock. "Yeah . . . I'm fine. Did you see her Spock?"
Spock looked at Cartwright and then at Jim. "See who, Jim? You were the only one on the bridge until we approached."
"Instead of interviewing you they should commit you. Kirk, you are a real nutcase just like I always thought." Cartwright was livid that the guards had let Kirk out of confinement for this little jaunt. And, the security guards just wanted to be somewhere else.
Jim was more himself than he had been in weeks when he responded, "You're an ass, Admiral Cartwright. It's Jim to my friends and family but Admiral Kirk to you. At least at this moment as I'm still an Admiral. Shall we go?" Jim turned on his heel and picked up the guards as they headed back toward the shore. Spock fell in behind the security guards which left Cartwright standing alone on the bridge quietly fuming.
Spock moved ahead of the guards to fall in step with Kirk. "Jim, who did you see on the bridge?"
"You'll never believe me Spock. But, it has given me a new perspective on my situation. I think I'll be ready for my interview tomorrow. Whatever happens, I know I will be able to handle it." Jim walked on at a pace just short of running. The security guards were winded by the time they reached the guest quarters where the Enterprise crew was sequestered. Spock was satisfied that whatever happened on the Golden Gate Bridge. Jim Kirk had regained his former strength and confidence.