A Singular Honour

by Shemyaza1

Whilst on an army training exercise in the Mendip Hills a party of soldiers discover that there is something very nasty deep in the forest and ultimately embark on a mission. Set during the War of Wrath. MEFA 2010 Nominee

54. Cherchez la femme

Disclaimer: See Chapter 2.

Oh dear, I can feel a sequel coming on.

"Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready
for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change,
not really. But it does. So what are we? Helpless? Puppets?
No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that.
It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find
out who you are." - Whistler, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Chapter 54 - Cherchez la femme

The Camp of the Host of the Valar

Kim stared unhappily at the tent entrance. The flaps were down for a very good reason and that very good reason was the fact that she had just vomited violently into what passed for the temporary 'toilet'. The food that the young Elven warrior had brought in a good hour earlier was now congealing on the plate and the smell and sight of it had made her stomach turn. The moment she had picked up her fork and tried to eat some of it her stomach rebelled. She had thrown a cloth over it after vomiting and was now sitting on the small cot, breathing deeply and willing herself not to do it again. The saliva kept working itself around in her mouth encouraging her to swallow, but she knew if she did she would just hurl again.

So there she sat, trying not to heave and concentrating on the pattern in the tent material until it all swirled into one and made her head spin. The loose shirt brushed lightly against very sensitive breasts and when she looked at them closely she could see a delicate network of fine bluish veins covering them which had not been there before. And they were bigger. Not glamour model Jordan bigger, but definitely rounder and more plump. Her breasts did get sore close to that time of the month but she hadn't had a time of the month for a while.

She stood up abruptly in alarm and her head swam, so she sat back down again and started to do some calculating. Her last period had been only a few days into them landing in Middle-Earth, round about the time they had met up with King Gil-galad and his army. She hadn't wanted to get on the horse and Gary had shouted at her. But how long ago was that? So much had happened in so short a time that she had actually lost track of the days they had been here in another time, but it had to be at least a month or even five maybe six weeks.

Kim couldn't be sure of the exact timing, but she was sure of two things. She should have had a period by now and Eonwe had made love to her since her last one. More than once.

"Oh god." She whispered, her heart sinking to the bottom of her boots. "Surely I can't be... can I?"

The nausea she was feeling had started a couple of days ago, just after the big dinner with Gary and Lord Tulkas when she and Alun had arrived in the camp with Maedhros. She had put it down to eating rich food after days of camp cooking on top of many days of not eating properly, but maybe it wasn't that at all. Perhaps it was morning sickness.

Her legs felt weak. This changed everything for her. At the same time a feeling of wonder swept over her and a silly smile hovered around her mouth. She laid her hand protectively across her still flat belly and somehow she just knew that deep inside there lay their child. Hers and Eonwe's child. In the same moment she knew that whatever happened with Gary and Eonwe and no matter whether he returned to their own time with her or not, she had to go. She couldn't stay here.

In any case if she was going to have a baby it was going to be in a hospital with the best care and lots of painkillers, not in some tent in the middle of nowhere. Not to mention the fact that she and the baby would be in horrible danger if she stayed. Especially given what Alun had told them, that he had been transported to Middle-Earth for the specific purpose of bringing her to this Sauron person. She repressed a shudder at the thought.

And then there was the matter of concerns about her and the baby's safety being an additional worry and distraction for Eonwe. He didn't need that in his life. He had responsibilities, like a war to fight and win. He couldn't do that if he was constantly worrying about her, and she knew that he would.

The awful thought that she would never see him again, never feel his strong arms around her or his lips on hers sliced through her like a knife and tears sprang to her eyes. The desire to see him warred with the desire to leave that very moment and the longing to see him won.

She stood back up, lips set firm. No, she did have to go for everyone's sake, not now of course, not before seeing him one last time, but definitely when the others got here. But was she to tell Eonwe he was going to be a father and distract him further before she went? Or should she just keep her own counsel and hope to hell they were back home before her belly started to grow?

She needed to do the right thing, but honestly wasn't sure what the right thing was. She needed to talk to Gary.

ooOoo

Eonwe wasn't exactly sure when it happened. One moment he was still able to sense Gary as a separate entity, the next he had abruptly reined his horse in, slid haphazardly off its back and staggered drunkenly into some bushes.

Gil-galad immediately called a halt and both Jim and the Chief had slid off their mounts heading to where Eonwe was bent double over a patch of gorse-like bushes. However it was Celeborn who actually reached the Maia first, followed by Glorfindel and one of the healers. He bent down to Eonwe just as he retched painfully, spewing a stream of thin bitter bile over the thorny leaves of the bushes.

As Celeborn and Glorfindel eased him down onto the ground into a sitting position, flashes of memory immediately started to fill his head in rapid succession. He groaned, clapped both hands to his head in pain and rocked back and forth in an effort to contain the information that was filling his mind. Celeborn and Glorfindel supported him in an effort to ensure he didn't hurt himself as he thrashed around violently and reeled under the onslaught.

He saw a desert and soldiers clad in light brown clothing. There was gunfire; violent explosions all around him which made him wince and then one extremely vivid memory of sitting on the ground holding another man as his life's blood seeped into the dusty ground. His stinging hot tears were splashing onto the man's face and he moaned in distress as he watched the light of life die out of the injured man's eyes. Everyone watched in alarm as the tears spilled heedlessly down the Herald's dusty cheeks. The healer reached forward with a cloth and gently wiped them away.

Then another, more pleasant, memory of sitting beside a hospital bed where a pretty young fair-haired woman lay sleeping and thinking that she was the prettiest girl he had seen for a long time, despite the bruising and scratches on her face.

The memories abruptly changed again and flew back a little further in time. He saw himself among whole ranks of other young officers proudly marching and saluting the Commander in Chief, Her Majesty The Queen at his passing out parade at Sandhurst. He even recalled himself and a couple of other officers sewing up the Regimental Sergeant Major in his sleeping bag whilst on a forty-eight hour exercise and then sitting in the bushes crying with laughter as the man managed to caterpillar crawl out of the back of the land rover cursing them roundly and threatening them with hideous torture and punishment for their cheek.

Eonwe's agonised expression had eased considerably as this evidently much more pleasant memory took the place of the distressing ones. However it also started him off giggling hysterically amidst the tears and caused even greater alarm among those watching.

Cirdan turned to Gil-galad. "Can we do nothing?"

Ereinion shook his head. "I do not think so. I believe the event he and Garee both feared is happening or about to happen. He is in the hands of Eru now. I do not believe even the Valar can help. All we can do is be here to pick up the pieces."

"If there is anything left to pick up." Cirdan replied grimly.

The giggling eased off considerably to the relief of all. Eonwe now had a dreamy smile on his handsome face. He was recalling a memory of dancing at a ball with a beautiful dark haired girl in a peach coloured gown. He spent the night laughing with her, drinking champagne and then he took her up to his room and made passionate, albeit very drunken, love to her. Glorfindel caught a flash of insight into what Eonwe was remembering and snickered softly as a blush suffused the Herald's cheeks at the events being played out in his mind's eye.

Every single memory, even jumbled up, were memories he had made as Gary Matthews, a future version of himself. Eru had been left with no choice but to join the two parts of him up, but had also decided to fill in the blanks and connect the dots. Eonwe's head was filled to exploding point with both his memories since springing from the Music of the Ainur and those from a time yet to come and he didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so he did both. He sat on the ground and alternately laughed like a loon and cried as though his heart was breaking in two.

The High King looked at the healer who silently shook his head. The only thing he could do was to try and give the Herald some sort of potion to calm him, but there was no guarantee that it would even work on a Maia.

The Chief had gone very quiet inside the body he shared with Olorin and allowed the Maia to take over. Olorin hunkered down beside the Herald and placed his hand against his fellow Maia's forehead. After a few moments of mild struggle he managed to begin to commune properly with him, mind to mind. Slowly but surely the sobs and giggles changed to hiccups and then ceased altogether as Olorin's calm will imposed order on the chaos inside Eonwe's head.

Gil-galad knelt down before them and stared at Eonwe in concern. "What just happened?" He asked Olorin who smiled weakly. He felt exhausted. It had been quite a battle with Eonwe's will; the Herald had a very dynamic, strong personality.

"They are one." Olorin said simply.

"Garee and Lord Eonwe?"

Olorin nodded. "Yes. We are very close to the Host now and there was no way the duality could have been maintained without damaging them both. Eru has joined them back together."

Jim's face went a little white. "But Gary... I mean...does that mean he's..." Tears slid down his cheeks. He couldn't bring himself to say the word. Erestor squeezed his shoulder in sympathy and support.

"No." Eonwe's voice was hoarse from crying and laughing, but his tone was firm and reassuring. "Not dead Jim. Here, with me. Gary is safe and well and where he belongs. Where we both belong." He tapped his head, glanced at Olorin and managed a weak grin. "Are you still in there old man? Isn't it a little crowded what with the Chief being in there and all?"

The Chief/Olorin shouted with laughter. "Well if that doesn't prove that Gary and you are one and the same person, nothing will, you cheeky bugger. You've got room to talk about being crowded, considering that you've just been given one mortal's thirty five action-packed years of life in a few seconds." He and Gil-galad helped Eonwe to his feet and Celeborn dusted him down.

Eonwe accepted some water offered to him by Glosur with a smile of thanks. He drank thirstily and handed the leathern flask back to the Dwarf. "Thank you Master Dwarf, that was much appreciated. And yes, I haveall of Gary's...er...my memories. He...I... have apparently had a very busy life in the future..." He blushed bright red and Glorfindel laughed out loud.. "... with somememories I think I would be far better off forgetting altogether."

Laughter rippled around the group as they realised what kind of memories he was referring to. Jim choked back another sob and flung his arms around the startled Herald. "It's okay Jim." He said softly, but the young policeman's grip just tightened until he had the Herald in a rib-cracking bear hug. "Er... Jim? Uh... oxygen... becoming... ahuge issue here."

Jim blushed to the roots of his hair and let Eonwe go. "Oops, sorry mate. I was just so relieved. I didn't mean..." His blush deepened and the Herald affectionately clasped his shoulder.

"It's okay Jim. I understand." He said gently.

More than a few present and witnessing the spectacle had tears in their eyes. Cirdan surreptitiously wiped his tears away on his glove. "I think perhaps if Lord Eonwe feels well enough we should press on." He advised gruffly. "We are sitting targets here out in the open."

Gil-galad cleared his throat. "Yes. Yes indeed. With your leave my Lord Eonwe, shall we mount up? If you are feeling well enough of course..."

Eonwe smiled at the Chief and Jim and winked. "I'm good to go Lord Gil-galad."

"Good to go?" Ereinion raised his eyebrows and gave the Herald an suspicious glare. "What does that mean... good to go. Good to go where?"

"Home, or what passes for home at the moment." Eonwe said, swinging himself onto the back of his horse. "I have some explaining to do to a certain lady and a very serious question to ask her."

ooOoo

Eonwe's pavilion, Camp of the Host of the Valar

Kim burst unceremoniously through the opening into Eonwe's pavilion where Tulkas was sitting with Finarfin, Ingwion and the Edain commanders discussing the deployment of the various patrols. He didn't seem startled or angry at her intrusion, instead he dismissed the battle commanders pleasantly and drew the distressed young woman to a chair. The Valar then beckoned to the young Vanyarin warrior who Kim had bowled over in her impatience to talk to Gary and gestured for him to ensure they were not disturbed. The warrior placed his hand over his heart and closed the tent flaps behind him.

Tulkas poured some of the golden wine from Valinor into two goblets and handed one to her.

Kim sniffed the wine and looked up at him doubtfully. "I'm not sure I should. I think... I mean... I might be pregnant."

Tulkas sat down in the other chair and smiled reassuringly at her. "And you rushed in here like a whirlwind just to tell Gary that he was going to be a father?" His tone was dry but tinged with laughter.

She blushed to the roots of her hair. "Um... I guess. Only I don't think..." She stopped dead and bit her lip.

"You do not think it is his?" Tulkas completed her sentence.

Kim felt awful. She hadn't meant to interrupt the Valar who, it had been explained to her, more or less equated with an Archangel. She also hadn't meant to blurt out about it not being Gary's baby, in fact she hadn't meant to blurt anything out at all. All she had intended to do was to speak to Gary in a calm, mature fashion and then gently break the news that she thought she might be pregnant with his alter ego's child. Sort of drop it casually into the conversation at some point so to speak.

She groaned. "This is coming out all wrong."

The Valar threw back his head and laughed. "No child, it isn't. I can see how confusing all of this is for you. You do understand what Gary was talking about when he explained about himself and Eonwe did you not?"

"Yes. Kind of... Gary is Eonwe but in the future and he was sent to Middle-Earth in human form without memories of who he really was because God decided that there needed to be a link between Val...Val...that place where you all come from and Earth where we live." She stopped and sighed."Or something like that."

Kim could have kicked herself. She was sounding more pathetic by the second. Wasn't there something she had read about how being pregnant destroyed brain cells? And she didn't possess all that many to start with. Apparently her last one was about to leave her.

Tulkas chuckled. "Yes something like that. Gary and Eonwe are not two different people Kim, they are the same person, it is simply that as Gary he recalled nothing of his former life as Eonwe, and the Eonwe of this time, of course, had not experienced any of those things yet because your time has not happened yet. Therefore it seemed at first that they were two very different men. That is because, separately, they were two very different men with very different life experiences. They are two halves of a whole."

"He's not here is he?" Kim suddenly felt very small. As though the universe had stretched all around her and she hadn't grown with it.

Tulkas shook his head and laid his huge hand over her small one in comfort. "No child, he isn't. He left during the night to meet with Eonwe." There was simply no other way to break the news to her.

The tears tumbled down her cheeks. "I can't talk to him then and Ireally needed to." Her head drooped and she began to cry quietly in a way that tugged at Tulkas' heartstrings.

He felt Este's presence in a corner of the tent, but she did not take incarnate form. Instead she discreetly drew Tulkas' attention to the tent opening. Kim had her back to it and could not see the tall form of Eonwe standing quietly in the entrance, incongruously dressed in British Army combats and looking more than a little worse for wear. He was watching Kim with the light of love in his eyes, but when Tulkas opened his mouth as if to tell Kim that the person she wanted to speak to was actually there, Eonwe shook his head slightly.

Tulkas smiled and turned his attention back to Kim. "And what would you say to him if he was here little one?" He asked softly.

Kim bit her lip and wiped her eyes and nose on her sleeve, whereupon Tulkas handed her a napkin. She blew her nose on it and managed a tiny smile. "Thank you."

"You are welcome child."

"I would tell him how much I love him and how much I want to stay... but I can't. I can't stay. I think I am pregnant and I would be a burden to him and I know that if he and Eonwe are together then they aren't two people any more. Eonwe has to stay." The words tumbled out of her like water tumbling out of a spring. Eonwe desperately ached to hold her and comfort her but he stayed where he was.

"Yes he does." Tulkas said softly.

"If I am pregnant then it would be dangerous for me to stay. That Sauron or whatever he's called, he managed to bring Alun Davies here in the hopes that I would go with him, but Alun was supposed to take me to Sauron instead of home and now he's terribly afraid of being alone with me. He thinks Sauron can still hurt me and Eonwe through him." She shook her head. "I tried to tell him that you and Gary wouldn't let Sauron hurt him, but I think he still worries inside. If we were back home in 2007 and the portal was closed for good then Sauron wouldn't be able to do anything. At least I hope he wouldn't." She heaved a sigh. "I just wish either Gary or Eonwe were here..."

Tulkas exchanged glances with Eonwe who nodded. He stepped forward. "I am here beloved. There is nothing to fear. You can tell me anything you wish." He opened his arms in invitation.

Kim leapt to her feet. Her face was alight with joy as she forgot totally about cool, calm, collected adult Kim and flung herself headlong into Eonwe's arms which closed around her and held her tight.

Tulkas beamed his approval and withdrew from the tent, as did Este. Eonwe and Kim clung to each other. For the moment there was no need for any words between them.

ooOoo