Disclaimer: I own nothing of Tolkien's world, however Kim and Co. from the future do belong to me.
"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee..." - John Donne
Meditation 17 - Devotions upon Emergent Occasions
Chapter 59 – For whom the bell tolls
Of the Feanorians
"But what about you?" Elros took a step forward and grasped Maedhros by his arm. "Where will you go, what will you do?"
It took all of Maedhros' strength not to fling the young Elf's hand from his arm. His famed temper, granted to many of those with red hair, was irritated by Elros' continuing questions. All he wanted to do was to hand the twins over to Gil-galad who, with the Cirdan the Shipwright was waiting off to one side watching the interchange with a troubled look on his face. He noticed that Elrond was already standing beside the High King and his mentor as if he had long since chosen his path.
Well what if he has? Maedhros' inner voice, which usually took on his Atar's tones, spat at him. What is it to do with you? There was never any love lost between you anyway. You only spared them because of Maglor.
But if that was the case why did Elrond's immediate action of allying himself with Gil-galad cause a stab of pain?
Even in his anger Maedhros was aware of the Herald standing quietly in the background. Eonwe made no move to intervene and the Feanorian could simply not look into those dark blue eyes and see the compassion there. Part of him wanted to fling himself into the Maia's strong embrace and deny that damned oath even as it battered away at his conscience and ached for absolution, yet the other part was filled with an irrational rage which could not be quenched.
He shut his eyes tightly for a few moments, but all he saw, as if imprinted on his eyeballs, were the stormy and fire-filled eyes of his Atar as he wrung that hideous oath from his assembled children even as the life frittered away from him. His hands clenched into tight fists.
What right did any parent have to ask such a thing of their children?
The right of a father, the father who helped give you life, who nurtured and taught you. The sardonic Feanor voice, a trifle weary now, shot back at him.
"What about my life?" He whispered and tears of anguish burnt behind his eyeballs. "What of my life and my rights Atar? Are we all to be sacrificed on the altar of the Silmarils, the altar of your conceit and folly?"
Gil-galad bit his lip and made as if to step forward, to comfort Maedhros, but Eonwe's firm hand on his shoulder stopped him dead. He looked up questioningly at the Maia who shook his head.
"You can do nothing for him Ereinion." He said softly. "His choices were made long ago, oaths were taken. Even now his allegiance to his father wars with his desire to be his own man. Yet none of Feanor's children truly ever belonged to themselves. Even before birth he filled them with his own fire and Nerdanel's own more gentle flame was not strong enough to gainsay him. She withdrew from them all at the end simply because she knew that she was only ever the vessel that held them. She was not the tether that bound them to the family or to life."
"Is there nothing we can do?" Gil-galad's gallant heart was filled with sympathy for the tortured Elf Lord.
"The scene is set, as it was set long ago. The characters are assembled and the play must go on as it was ordained. Maedhros and Maglor's fates and those of their brothers were sealed long ago by their father. A chain of events has been set in motion by the actions of the very creature we are sent here to vanquish and terrible acts have been committed in the name of freedom from the yoke of the Valar, acts which will never be wholly forgotten." Eonwe smiled at the High King. "Yet are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? And not one of them shall not fall on the ground without Iluvator's knowledge."
Gil-galad stared at the Maia for a moment and then looked at Cirdan who was standing with a comforting arm around Elrond's shoulders. The Shipwright had said nothing, but a faint smile quirked around his bearded lips. He glanced over at Maglor who had also said nothing during the interchange, but was standing quietly by, his hands clutching his horse's reins.
M aglor's private words to his young charges had already been spoken the previous night and many tears had been shed by all three, but a certain resignation for his and their ultimate fate had been engendered in him. He was now calm and ready, he hoped, for what was to come. What was utterly surprising to him was to see his brother's usually stoic and firm acceptance of their situation shaken slightly. Not once in all their long yeni of upholding the oath had he seen Maedhros shaken. Yet the recent events surrounding Eonwe and his bride had seen him hesitate in his actions for the first time.
His eyes met the Herald's and what he saw in them made him catch his breath. The Herald knew! He knew what was coming and how it would end. He wanted to find some comfort in those wise, ageless eyes but he knew even as he tried that everything had gone too far to be brought back. Their path was laid out before them, all they could do was follow it and hope for an ending of some kind. His gaze dropped and he sighed.
In the meantime Maedhros had turned and gently moved the restraining hand from his arm.
"What about us?" He said as lightly as he could manage. "Why, we will do as we have always done, will we not brother?" He shot a look at Maglor who kept his eyes on his feet and mumbled something which may or may not have been assent. Maedhros lifted Elros' chin with one slender yet strong finger. "Grieve not for us little one." He said softly. "You cannot help us now and nothing can be gained from you staying with us. At the end it will be as it always has been, just Feanor's boys standing shoulder to shoulder and fulfilling their oath to their Atar. You have no place with us; your place is with your kin, our oaths and grief are not yours. You have your whole lives in front of you and they are better lived with Ereinion and his people. In any case we are not going anywhere, we still fight with the Host for Middle Earth as long as Lord Eonwe wishes it and even if he did not we would still fight on our own account."
The tears which had long been threatening behind Elros' eyes spilled over and down his cheeks. He looked over at his twin to see that Elrond was also silently weeping. "We will see you again?"
Maedhros looked over at Eonwe and then smiled at the young Peredhil. "If Iluvator wills it." He said softly.
Eonwe noted that he did not say if the Valar willed it, but smiled his approval anyway. He knew that Iluvator had plans for the last two Feanorian children, but it was not his place to either say so or utter any words of comfort. Their punishment still awaited them and must yet be endured.
Elros smiled tremulously at the red-haired Elf Lord and allowed himself to be led over to where the High King stood waiting quietly. Maedhros lifted the Peredhil's hand and placed it in Ereinion's.
"They are your charges now." He said quietly. "May they find the peace and happiness now that they deserve and never could have had in our care."
Ereinion nodded. He wanted to speak, to say something comforting, but his throat was thick with tears, so instead he just wordlessly took Elros into his embrace. The young man buried his face in the High King's shoulder.
Maedhros bowed to the Herald. "We will move out now my Lord and join the forward scouting groups." He said formally.
Eonwe bowed his head. "My thanks Lord Maedhros, we will expect your report as usual." His tone was grave, but Maedhros was slightly startled to see a twinkle in the dark blue eyes.
"You do realise that if we get a chance to take the Silmarils we will take it?" Maedhros said shortly.
"I would expect nothing less than you would at least try." The Herald's reply was simple and laced with amusement.
"Just so you know."
Eonwe bowed. "I consider myself forewarned."
Maedhros gave a soft laugh and strode over to where his brother stood with their horses. They both mounted and just before he rode off Maedhros saluted the twins, Eonwe, Gil-galad and Cirdan with his sword. "Until we meet again gentlemen."
And that was the last either Elros or Elrond saw of Feanor's last two sons until the very end of the War of Wrath.
Kim
The late afternoon sunlight gleamed through the large picture window and bounced off the large plasma television screen. She grunted with annoyance as she sat back on her heels and watched the scene playing out on a daytime soap. Getting up to switch channels was desirable but not immediately achievable. Her swelling abdomen made getting up from her kneeling to a standing position a balancing act worthy of Cirque de Soleil these days. She managed to get a grip on one side of the sofa and tried to lever herself up to her feet. Unfortunately the protruding belly countermanded her efforts and she found herself wobbling backwards and forwards on her back like one of those Weeble toys.
Weebles wobble but they don't fall down. She laughed to herself a little hysterically. And if they do they can't get up again. She started snorting and giggling which didn't help her to stand upright. Flora, the name she had christened her bump gave her a couple of encouraging kicks and then stuck her foot up into Kim's ribs causing a sharp pain which made her draw her breath in with a hiss.
"What exactly are you trying to do again?" She looked up to see the Chief standing over her. He had arrived at Gary's penthouse apartment fifteen minutes earlier and knocked but got no answer. On trying the door he had found it unlocked so he let himself in and watched Kim's antics in silence with no little amusement.
"Er...go through some of Eonwe...um... Gary's private papers?"
Chief chuckled. "Are you asking me or telling me? Here let me help you." He put out a hand which she sighed and grabbed and pulled her to her feet. "Can you actually see your feet?"
Kim shook her head. "Nope, she's either a very big baby or there's an army growing in there."
"Well going by her father I would say she's probably a very big girl." He knelt down and retrieved the box that Kim had originally be trying to get. "Is this what you were looking for?"
"I'm not sure. The solicitor seemed to think that Gary had made another will, other than the one in his possession. A later will or something. Apparently he made it out just before he was deployed to Afghanistan and because he left the UK so abruptly it never got as far as the solicitor's office." She sighed and sat back. "I know I have to find it, but I'm a bit worried about what might be in it. After all it was made prior to us meeting and getting married." She cast a look at the Chief. "To tell you the truth I'm not really sure what I am entitled to and what I'm not entitled to."
Chief Knowles sat down. "Kim, sweetheart, why don't you let me take care of all this for you? Martin says you are living back at the Sergeant's Mess as well. How come? Don't you like it here in Gary's old apartment? It's very nice."
In fact Gary's apartment was better than nice and it reeked of money, but nowhere in anyone's imagination could it be described as 'homey'. Light and airy, modern and minimalistic with light wood floors and wide windows with the occasional deep leather chair and small glass occasional table dotted about, it was about as far from a family home and as close to a bachelor pad as any place could get.
Kim glanced around doubtfully. "Hmm. I'm more the comfortable home with squashy armchairs and a nice cosy fire type really. This place has no atmosphere...no character. It's kind of temporary, almost as if he never ever intended to really live here. His personality is completely missing. I can't imagine what his room in the Officers Mess must have looked like."
"Which brings me to the reason I am here." Chief smiled at her. "Yours and Gary's marriage has come through on Part Two Orders (1) so you are now legally married in the eyes of the military as well as God. The CO has decreed that you can sort through the things in Gary's room. Who knows? Maybe the document you're looking for is there and not here?"
Kim stood up unsteadily and brushed the dust off her jeans. "Can I go there now?"
"I imagine so, no time like the present after all. I have permission to go in there with you to help you." He hesitated. "I thought perhaps you shouldn't really go in there without some support, so the new Adjutant will meet us there and take us up to the room. Are you okay with that?"
She smiled wanly. "Of course I am. He's quite a nice bloke really. Especially when the other officers were a bit standoffish when I was introduced as Gary's wife. He was the only one who was friendly."
"Well you have to understand it from their point of view. You weren't on the scene except as a Sergeant, then all of a sudden you are married to a fairly senior officer in the British Army. They're a funny lot Kim, very set in their ways and very controlled by etiquette. The younger officers were okay with you though weren't they?"
"Yes, but you could see that they were wondering why Gary had married me, although they were far too polite to ask." She frowned. "They probably wonder what Gary sees... saw in me."
The Chief gently pulled her to him in a hug and she hugged him back. "He isn't dead you know sweetheart." He said softly.
"I know." She mumbled into his shoulder. "But with all this legal stuff and people giving me all those pitying looks, it feels as though he is, because they obviously think he is. The Missing in Action thing doesn't fool anyone. They all think he's dead and now I am left behind, pathetic and pregnant."
The Chief sighed. "I know what it looks like to them, but you know that Gary is not dead. He is alive in Eonwe."
"I already tried to tell myself that, but one question keeps stumping me every time." She plucked at a stray thread in the fabric of one of the chairs. "Eonwe couldn't come back with me because he had to command the army in the War of Wrath, but that was back in the past... way past in fact. But he isn't commanding an army now is he? He's somewhere in that Valinor place being the Herald of Manwe and doing whatever a Herald does. The War of Wrath is long since over. He's been there for ages, thousands of years and he must remember that I am here...we are here..." She corrected herself to include the baby. "So why wasn't the present him here waiting for us? You know that there was someone else before me in Valinor don't you?"
The Chief nodded. "Yes, I do and I know what you are thinking. You think that after being among his own kind he's thought better of coming back to be with you."
"Yes." She whispered. She looked up at him with large fearful eyes. "Do you think he has?"
"I think you have been stuck here in his empty apartment for too long. I think we need to go and get a nice drink and a pub lunch and then I'll take you to the Mess."
"Do you think he's coming back?" She persisted stubbornly.
Chief Knowles took both of her hands in his own and gazed earnestly at her. "Yes, I do think he will come back for you, I'm just not sure how it will be done. Think about it. The manner of his return cannot be the same as it was before. He isn't Gary Matthews any longer; there is no way that Eonwe, a Maia with all his considerable power could fit into the role that Gary played. To play that role Iluvator had to wipe his old memories and make him grow up here as a normal human being. That can't happen a second time. His return to you was always going to be dependent on how Iluvator would place him back to carry out the tasks he was supposed to originally carry out and now you and the baby have to be fitted in with it. You may have to resign yourself into them declaring him missing believed dead after a while before he can come here and you can both start anew."
He prepared himself for a rush of tears but to his surprise all she did was go over to the window and gaze out. After a moment of silence she turned to him. "I guess so. We never really had time to talk about it, but part of me knows that he won't be allowed to return until the time is right. Flora-Dora here will be born by the time they sort it all out. I always knew he wouldn't get here before the birth."
The Chief quirked an eyebrow at her. "Flora-Dora?"
She giggled and patted her swollen belly. "My name for Miss Bump here."
"Somehow I just can't see Eonwe going for that as a name." He responded with a chuckle.
She shrugged. "Well, Eonwe isn't here is he? He's just going to have to live with my choice of names when and if he ever gets here won't he? In the meantime, I've been thinking that I might make a few changes. Once the legalities are over and done with I think I will sell this place and buy a family house somewhere nice, perhaps in the country. Somewhere a child can grow up in and not a nice antiseptic mausoleum." She grabbed her jacket off the back of one of the chairs and slipped it on. "Did you say something about a pub lunch and a drink? 'Cos I am starved. You do realise I'm eating for two don't you? Are you paying?" She grinned at him and he laughed.
"What, with you currently pulling a Major's salary and the money you'll make from selling this place? Not bloody likely! You're paying for sure Mrs Matthews."
She seemed to be resigned to her situation and the Chief might have believed her 'I don't care' act if it hadn't been for the pain at the back of her eyes.
You'd better get here quick Eonwe. He thought savagely. Because if you and that lot over in Valinor do anything to hurt her or make her cry I will personally find my way over to you and beat your heads in with a shovel.
Part 2 Orders: A British Army administrative function designed to recognise all personal occurrences on a soldier or officer, i.e. marriages, births, deaths, change of name, change of marital status etc.