"Thanks for the lift," Beckett says as Castle's car service pulls up in front of her apartment.
"No problem," Castle says, stepping out of the vehicle and extending his hand to her to help her out of the car. "Guess I'm going to have to be the one getting us to crime scenes for a while."
"Gates will probably just stick me with Ryan or Espo until my arm heals."
"But that means I'll have to work with the other one," he pouts. "I don't need Raley and Ochoa background like I need Nikki."
"Castle, this hasn't been about those books in years and you know it."
He reaches out and squeezes her right hand.
"And besides we're not changing partners," Beckett adds. "I just can't drive myself to crime scenes with this sling."
"Which is why I offered –"
He's cut off by the insistent honking of a car horn. They apparently want the spot Castle's car is parked in.
"Why don't you come up for a while?" Beckett asks.
Castle nods and tells his driver he can leave. He follows Beckett up to her apartment and over to her couch once they're inside.
"Good thing you're right-handed, huh?" he laughs as he watches her struggle to get her coat off her right arm without jostling her left. "Do you want some help?"
"I've got it," she tells him, wincing when she moves her left shoulder wrong.
"I helped you put it on, why won't you let me help you take it off?"
"Because I need to learn to do it myself," she protests. "You're not going to be here every day to dress and undress me."
"I could be. I mean like I told you yesterday, I have seen you naked."
She groans, finally managing to get her jacket off and throwing it haphazardly onto a chair. "Now that's a score I think we need to settle. Take your pants off."
Castle smirks at her. "All in good time, my dear Beckett. Why don't we wait until you're off the painkillers?"
She sighs and plops down on the couch next to him.
"You're no fun," Beckett pouts.
"Oh I'm plenty of fun. And if you hadn't just gotten into a motorcycle accident, I would show you exactly how much fun I can be."
She grumbles something about the jackass who cut her off and Castle can't help but laugh at her.
"Trust me, Beckett. It'll be worth the wait."
"You're awfully cocky."
He leans over to whisper in her ear. "I have good reason to be."
It sends a shiver down her spine and she looks over at him with hooded eyes.
"FYI, I have good reason to be cocky too," Beckett says.
Castle visibly swallows and this time it's her turn to laugh.
"Okay so you said we had some things to talk about," she starts. "Let's talk about them, so the fun part can begin. Why don't you go first?"
"All right. So uh, if we're going to do this, be in a relationship that is, the lying has to stop," he says.
Beckett nods. "I know. I'm sorry, I just –"
"I uh, I actually wasn't talking about you."
She raises an eyebrow at him.
"I mean yeah, you lying about knowing how I felt was pretty shitty, but this is a two way street here. And I haven't been completely honest with you either."
"You and Gina are still married?" she asks, with a smirk.
"No, no it's nothing like that," he almost laughs, but stops, thinking again about how much she's not going to like this. "It's umm, this guy – I don't know who he is – he came to see me, or maybe he just called the first time, but anyway he told me that I had to keep you away from your mother's case, to protect you. So I've been working on it for a couple months now –"
"Who's the guy?"
"I told you, I don't know."
"So describe him to me."
"I can't. Either we've spoken on the phone or he's been a dark shadow in a parking garage."
"Someone is out there trying to keep me away from investigating my mother's murder, a case that has become mine ever since it got me shot, and you never thought to tell me about it? Castle, this man could be involved. He could be the one calling all the shots and he just wants me to stop digging so I don't uncover his identity."
"No, listen to me. He's on our side."
"How do you know that? How do you even know that you can trust this guy?"
"Beckett, just listen –"
"And you've been working on the case behind my back? Why would you do that?"
"Because I love you!"
She stills, staring at him. She hasn't heard him say it since she was on the verge of consciousness in that cemetery. She hasn't heard him utter those words and know that he means them. It's enough to take her breath away.
"Kate, all I was doing was trying to protect you. I'm not going to let you kill yourself because of this case. It's a suicide mission. Someone out there wants you dead and they're not going to stop until they succeed as long as you keep digging. That's why I started digging for you. To get you the answers you need, without losing you."
She shakes her head. "You shouldn't have done that."
"I was just trying to help –"
"No, Castle, you don't get it. If they find out that you've been digging, you're just as dead as I am. You have a daughter. I would never forgive myself if you get taken from her because of all of this."
"I was careful."
"Yeah? You sure about that? I thought I was too, but I have this to prove me wrong."
She pulls down the neckline of her shirt, revealing her scar. By now tears have welled up in her eyes, and threaten to spill over the edge as Castle reaches out to trace the raised surface on her skin.
"I can't lose you either, Castle. I won't."
He leans forward and kisses the tear off of her cheek before bringing his lips to hers. He kisses her hard, forgetting about the cut on her upper lip. He wants, needs, her to know that he's not going anywhere. That she has him, heart and soul. He kisses her until he needs to pull away to breathe, but he keeps his forehead pressed against hers.
"How did you know?" she asks softly, her right hand toying with the collar of his shirt.
"How did I know what?"
"That you loved me."
He smiles. "I don't know. It was, still is, a lot of things. And when you got shot, I just needed you to know. I realized that I couldn't lose you without ever having said it to you, without you ever hearing it."
She nods, pulling her forehead back from his so she can look at him. "I just want you to know that this isn't one of those nowhere relationships. At least, I don't want it to be and I'm pretty sure you don't either."
He kisses her again.
"Castle, what are we going to do about this case?" Beckett asks with a sigh after they break the kiss.
"Ignore it and hope it goes away?" he asks hopefully.
"We do that and all of this was for nothing. I still don't know who it is who's calling all the shots. Who hired a hit on my mother, who hired a hit on me?"
He takes his hand and places it over her scar. "These people are dangerous. They're not the kind of people you just want to blindly chase after."
"I think I'm incapable of letting it go. My whole career as a cop has been dedicated to solving this thing."
Castle drums his fingers against her sternum. "Yeah and what has this dedication gotten you? A handful of dead cops, including Montgomery, and a bullet wound. How much longer are you going to let this thing consume you? How many more lives are you going to watch it claim before you just move on and let it go?"
"This case always crosses our path at the precinct. It's done it for three years now. So what happens when a new lead lands on my desk? I'm supposed to ignore it? Pretend like the answer I've been looking for since I was 19 isn't sitting there right in front of me?"
"I don't know," Castle sighs. "Kate, I know how badly you want answers. But at the same time, I can't just sit back and watch you risk everything for this. Wait until we cross paths with it again, okay that's a start. But when we do, where do you draw the line? I know you and how you operate. You don't back down. It's an impressive quality, but sometimes it's downright stupid. It isn't just you in this anymore. And I know, you have no plans to take me or the boys down with you, but you're crazy if you think any one of us would be okay with just letting you go."
"I don't know what you want me to say, Castle."
"What I want," he starts, taking her hand, "is to be with you. I can't do that if you're dead."
"I want to be with you too," she says softly.
"But?"
"But nothing."
"Beckett –"
"If and when this case crosses our path again, we'll deal with it then. Can't we just be happy for right now?"
He rubs at the back of his neck. "How are we going to deal with it?"
"As we see fit."
"We? As in, I'm a part of the decision process? As in, if it looks to me like you're getting in over your head, you'll listen to me and stop?"
"Yes."
Castle gives her a look like he doesn't quite believe her and squeezes her hand.
"I'm serious," she tries again. "I want you to talk me down from something if I'm being stupid about it. I don't want to lose this before it even begins. But you have to let me make the same decision for you. You're not an actual cop, Castle. You don't have the kind of training we do."
"Okay," he tells her, shaking her hand which he's always holding. "It's a deal. We'll be each other's stupidity checker."
"Okay," Beckett nods. "Good."
Castle pulls her against his side, and her right arm wraps around him. She sinks into him, her head falling onto his shoulder.
"So is your shampoo cherry-scented or something?" he asks. "Because you smell like cherries again."
She laughs. "It's my body wash. Take enough showers here and you can smell like cherries too."
"Only if you'll take these showers with me."
She laughs again. "Oh of course."
He smiles, his hand skimming up and down her outer thigh.
"Hey Beckett?"
"Hmm?"
"We're good, right? This is going to work?"
She shifts her head so her chin is on his shoulder so she can look at him.
"I think that as long as we keep up this whole communicating with each other thing, it will."
"And you promise that you're not going to go off chasing your mother's case without talking to me first?"
She sits up and kisses his cheek. "I promise."
"Good because I do love you, Kate. And the last thing I want is to lose you."
AN: Yeah this was supposed to just be a one shot, but I decided to continue with it. I have an idea of where I want to take it, but if anyone has suggestions on where they'd like to see this go, I'm open to them. If I like your suggestion I just may go with it. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, friends!