"Beckett, zombies!"
"You're ridiculous."
Castle is overly excited about this case and it just has Beckett rolling her eyes.
"Come on," Castle whines. "Decaying skin? 150-year-old suit? Guy is totally a zombie."
"I'm sure there's a completely reasonable explanation for this, just like there always is whenever your imagination runs away with a case."
"Wait a second –"
"Vampires, cursed mummies, need I go on?"
Esposito laughs as Castle slumps down in his chair. "I still think it's zombies."
"So I guess it turns out that it wasn't zombies," Castle sighs as Beckett stands over him in his bathroom, helping to take off his zombie makeup.
"True," she says, swiping the wet washcloth over his eyebrows. "But hey at least you got to pretend to be one."
"Yeah that was pretty awesome," he grins. "But I still feel bad for Jennings. He's going to need therapy."
"It helps," Beckett says, still wiping at his face.
His hands snake around her waist, and she stops.
"I didn't know you were still going to that," Castle says, his thumbs hooking into the back of her jeans.
She shrugs, her hands falling to his shoulders. "I don't go as frequently as I used to, but yes, I still do."
"Is this still about your PTSD?"
Beckett nods. "Among other things."
She picks the washcloth back up and lathers it with more soap before continuing to work on the makeup. She can see the question in his eyes, can tell that he wants to ask, but he doesn't want to push. He's trying to respect her boundaries and she appreciates that, but at the same time he's not asking very loudly.
"We talk about my mother's case a lot and my dad…and you."
The corners of his mouth twitch up. "You talk about me? All good things I hope."
She wipes the last of the makeup off his face and moves to rinse the washcloth out in the sink. "Makeup's gone."
Castle sighs, standing up and walking to stand behind her by the sink. He looks into the mirror at their reflections and notices that she's staring at them as well.
"So not all good things then?"
"I had some things I needed to work out."
"Did you get them worked out?"
She spins so she's facing him. "I did."
"Well whatever it is," he starts, drawing her into him. "I'm glad you've had someone to help you through it."
She sinks into his grip, blowing out a breath, and resting her head on his shoulder. "You just wish you could have been that person, don't you? The one to help me through it?"
Castle laughs and she smiles at the way she can feel it being pressed against him.
"Would I have liked to help?" he asks. "Sure. Would I have been that much help? Probably not. I think I'm more of a distraction."
"I like distractions," she says, kissing his neck.
He laughs again, unwrapping himself from around her to take her hand. He leads her out of the bathroom and into his bedroom.
"I can distract you right now if you like," Castle hums, nipping at her ear.
She hums too, letting her eyes fall closed as his lips move down her neck.
"But I don't actually have anything I need to be doing right now. So I'm not sure if it would be considered a distraction."
He backs her up until legs hit the back of the bed.
"Well then I'll guess this will have to be all in the name of pleasure."
It's been weeks since she's had a nightmare. And even then she had been alone, not sleeping next to Castle. But this time, when the bullet pierces through her chest and her cry rips through her throat, Castle is laying next to her.
Beckett sits bolt upright in his bed, grappling at her chest and trying to control her breathing. She should be used to the nightmares by now, but even after talking with Dr. Burke they haven't gotten any easier. Castle stirs beside her and she curses under her breath, wishing that she hadn't woke him up. This isn't something she wants to talk about right now.
He opens his eyes groggily, staring up at her.
"Everything okay?" he asks.
She sighs, lying back down. "Just a bad dream."
He reaches across her and rubs at her back. "What about?"
She shakes her head. "Nothing."
"Beckett," he clucks his tongue. "Communication."
She rolls so her back is to him. "It was just a dream, Castle. Go back to sleep."
But he doesn't relent. He scoots closer to her, and props himself up on his elbow. He rests his other hand on her side.
"I'm not going to judge you or anything you know?"
"Talking about it means I have to think about it and I'd rather just forget and go back to sleep."
He draws her into his chest and she sighs looking up at him. She runs a hand down the side of his jaw.
"Why do you want to know so badly?" she asks, softly.
She can feel him shrugging against her back.
"I just want to know what makes you tick."
"You already do. The Nikki Heat books show that."
"I think the better question is, why don't you want to tell me?" he asks, lacing his fingers between hers.
"Talking about it makes it real."
"You said it yourself, it's just a dream."
Beckett hums, but she doesn't say anything.
"Look, if you really don't want to talk about it, I won't make you. I'm just trying to play the role of the concerned boyfriend here."
"You die," she says barely above a whisper.
"What?"
"In my dream, you die. You take the bullet for me at Montgomery's funeral. And they couldn't save you. And so I get lost in the case, deeper than I ever have before until I get myself shot. I never know what happens after that, if I live or die, because I wake up. It's always the same dream; there are just a lot of variations of it. But one of us always ends up dead."
"I thought you couldn't die in your own dream," he says, softly.
She shrugs, but doesn't say anything else.
"Kate," he breathes, pressing his nose against the back of her neck.
She closes her eyes willing the tears to stay at bay. He untangles his hand from her own and brings it up to her chest, to trace her scar.
"That's my biggest fear," Beckett confesses. "That I'm going to get you killed someday. And that's why I was so worried about you working with Slaughter last week. I need to protect you. I promised Alexis that I would."
"I thought it was my job to protect you," he says into her hair.
"I'm the cop. I'm the one who carries a gun. I'm the one who puts your life at risk ever since you decided that you were going to use me as inspiration for you next big novel. I won't deny that you have saved my life, but I'm still the one who has to protect you."
He kisses the back of her ear. "I'm not going anywhere, Beckett."
"I'm not either."
She turns in his grasp, burying her face into his chest. He holds her there until she falls back asleep and he drifts off as well.
When she wakes up, she can smell bacon cooking and something that's either pancakes or waffles. Beckett sits up and stretches, her neck sore from using Castle's chest as a pillow all night.
She shuffles out into the kitchen and finds him hard at work. Waffles, she notices, not pancakes.
"You're up early," she tells him, sliding onto a stool at the kitchen island.
"I got hungry."
Beckett smiles down at the cup of coffee he places in front of her.
"You have today off, don't you?" Castle asks.
She nods. "I'm on call though. If they need me, I have to go in."
She takes a good long sip of her coffee, letting the liquid warm her.
"Do you want to hang out here with me all day?" he asks, placing a plate of food in front of her.
"Beats sitting at home by myself," she smirks.
Castle throws a towel at her and she laughs.
"You don't need to write or anything?" Beckett asks.
"Oh I can do that with you here."
She tosses the towel back at him.
"I can be a bit of a distraction myself," she tells him, recalling their conversation from last night and cutting into a waffle.
"I have noticed that," he smiles.
She smiles back reaching for her coffee again.
"Hey, about last night," he starts.
"Castle –"
"No, I'm sorry if I pushed you to talk about it."
"No, no I should be talking to you about it. You were right, the communication thing –"
"I'm just as scared of losing you. Your shooting impacted me too."
She reaches out and takes his hand, rubbing her thumb over the back of it. "I know. We'll both just have to be careful. No one is losing anyone, anytime soon."
AN: Hey all, just a head's up. This is my last month of college ever (graduation is so close I can taste it) and things are really about to pick up with papers and tests and none sense. So I may not have another chance to update again until May. But I promise I'm not abandoning this story. I know exactly how I want to finish it and I predict with there will be 2 or 3 more chapters. If things slow down in the next 4 weeks, I will try to get you an update sooner. Have a good week guys!