NB: For Yogi fans. Semi-crack.
Yogi isn't the sharpest crayon in the box.
"Hirato-san—"
He throws open the door to the captain's quarters with characteristic indiscretion, only to find an irate doctor glaring murderously at a resistive commander. Hirato's hands are displayed in a gesture of goodwill, surrender, conciliation… Yogi can't quite discern. But he can discern that his typically-unflappable superior officer seems distinctly flapped, at least from here. This pleases him in ways he'd never confess. It's so damn satisfying to see Hirato on the defensive.
"I know you've a protozoan intellect, Hirato, but even amoeba know better." Akari's tone is frigid. Yogi knows it well. It's the tone the doctor reserves for occasions likely to induce trauma.
A tremor trails down the lieutenant's spine. He's almost anxious for Hirato. He'd hoped that a romance between his supervisor and the man haunting his nightmares would make life easier. No such luck. Hirato still teases and Akari still terrifies. Sometimes, things are more volatile than before.
Like now.
"If you relax, Akari, I think you'll find that a larger tie knot will cover that," Hirato offers nonchalantly. Upon closer inspection Yogi sees violet eyes sparkle impishly, betraying immense amusement. He's long been acquainted with the captain's soft sadism, but a new hint of masochism alights those irises. The younger man tries (and fails) to not imagine his two seniors in a range of compromising positions. My next medical exam is going to be so awkward.
"That's irrelevant," Akari seethes. "You seem determined to humiliate me!"
"He's got a point, Hirato-san." The words spill from Yogi's lips involuntarily. He cringes, knowing he's done for. "Um... I mean... Sorry?"
"Yogi, your opinion is superfluous." The tenor of the researcher's voice suggests that homicide is well within the range of possible outcomes. Yogi swallows. Hard. "I don't need a child's assistance."
The brunet continues conversing politely, as though his subordinate had not interrupted their lovers' quarrel. "How about a full Windsor, hmm? I'll teach you."
Akari's had enough. He strides forth and yanks at the commander's necktie with enough vehemence to leave the man with his own set of bruises. He's a scant millimeters away, gaze narrowed in fury and voice a dangerous whisper. "And I don't need help from you. But I'll promise you this: If you don't learn to behave yourself, I'll use you for experimentation." The doctor then stalks off towards the bedroom. Hirato clears his throat delicately.
Captain and lieutenant are en route when Yogi pauses mid-step, spins on his heel, and addresses Hirato in as smug a manner as the insecure blond can achieve. "I warned you Akari-sensei was scary as hell."
He may not have staggering brainpower, but at least Yogi knows that.