A.N:

Okay, so last two chapters were quite scruffy... I guess that's what submitting chapters at 2 in the morning with fuzzy eyes does to you...

It's midnight now, so let's see if the two hours makes a difference... (actually, I'm writing an Authors Note which i was too dead to remember last time!)

So we're finally into the actual plot of the story, because when they were kids it was killing me… I love them all much better when they're fully grown and can involve other characters ^_^

Teehee!

I'll stop rambling now,

Enjoy!

x

I opened the door slowly, hoping nobody would hear me so I could sneak into my room with out being bombarded with questions and accusations. I managed to get to the bottom of the staircase until getting caught.

"You didn't seriously think you'd get away from us did you Edward?" Alice laughed, not looking up from her card game that she was playing with her boyfriend Jasper.

I sighed and turned around to face them all.

Emmett turned around from the sofa, with his girlfriend Rosalie cuddled closely to him. "Eddie! What are you doing here? There was a reason we set you up with Tanya..." He winked. Rosalie grunted and punched Emmett in the arm. He whimpered and rubbed his arm.

Carlisle and Esme had adopted Emmett a few years after me and Alice. He was a bit obnoxious when he first arrived but we grew to love his childish behavior.

Rosalie and Jasper were both twins that went to our school. We had all come quite close over time, almost like an even bigger family. I loved them all and enjoyed spending time with them all but I always felt empty and alone when I was with them. They tried not to be too close with each other in front of me but it didn't help matters much.

I knew it seemed crazy to still be hung up on what now resembles and childhood crush but I still had a strong urge to be close to her. There was never a day that went past that I wouldn't think of my Bella. I knew it was stupid and of course she would have moved on so why couldn't I? Once I got my drivers license I kept going back to the adoption centre, hoping to catch a glimpse of her but never saw her. All of the other people were there out playing with each other on the oval, all except for her. After a few months of searching, I figured somebody would have adopted that beautiful girl. She may not even have looked like I thought she would. Her beautiful brown hair could now be pink dreadlocks and one of her soft brown eyes could have fallen out causing her to wear an eye patch. But I was still in love with this pink haired pirate. I chuckled a bit then realized I had laughed out loud. I woke up from my deep thoughts and looked up.

"Edward? Edward?" I heard Jasper shouting. I realized I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't even hear what they were saying to me.

"Geez Alice, Your brothers zoning out again!" He laughed, swaying and shaking his arms around. Alice laughed and hit his arm.

"Piss off Jasper…" I laughed. He always did this to me...

"So Edward how was your date? Your home quite early…" Rosalie smirked.

I just glared at them and their horrible choices in dates.

"Come on… give us some of the horny details!" Emmett screeched.

I shook my head in amazement and stormed up the stairs to my room. I could hear Emmett even from my room. "That good?!" He chuckled. "Ouch! Babe…"

I sighed and decided to listen to some music. Music filled my room and I collapsed back onto my bed. I lay there for awhile just staring at the ceiling and thinking back to eight years ago when my life felt complete. The thoughts and music lulled me to a soft sleep.

I woke up to a tapping on my door a few minutes later. "Come in…" My throat was thick from sleep. I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair. Jasper opened the door and bound in and sat heavily on my sofa.

"So apparently your date didn't go as well as we hoped it would. We just thought you two were quite similar…"

I just stared at him blankly. "Similar." I laughed. "So I have a split personality disorder and accuse people of flirting when they ask for a table? Gee, you all have such a wonderful insight on the workings of Edward Cullen…"

Jasper raised an eyebrow before chuckling darkly.

"Sounds like a nut case Edward!" He managed to say between laughs. "But I have to admit, the split personality is one thing you have in common…"

I picked up a book from next to my bed and flung it over to wear he was sitting, hitting his eyebrow. He yelped out in pain.

"Geez Edward! What the fuck!" Jasper yelled.

"Ah crap, I'm sorry Jasper but you had it coming…" I winked.

"Look, I actually came in here to ask you something until you decided to physically attack me…"

I sighed heavily, hoping it wouldn't be too bad. "What?"

"Can you cover my shift at the hospital tomorrow?! Please?! I wanted to spend some time with Alice tomorrow; I promise I'll make it up to you." He begged. The things he would do for Alice… even talk to her emotionally challenged brother.

"Fine, what shift?" I asked.

"Nine till Twelve."

Jasper, Emmett and I had all been helping out Carlisle for two years now as they were short of staff al the time. We didn't have to do anything big like surgery, just cleaning up peoples wounds, stitching and refilling cabinets. It was quite fun when we all shared shifts.

I nodded to Jasper and he thanked me before telling Alice the good news. I sighed and relaxed back onto my bed before falling into another light sleep.

Bella POV

My alarm woke me earlier than I would have liked that morning. The light cruelly snuck in through my curtains and into my tired eyes. I sat up and stretched, the cold breeze hitting a part of my exposed skin. I shuddered and got up from my warm, comforting bed. I looked around the room that I had attempted to make homey. It had failed miserably but to my joy, I was only going to have to look at it for another week. I had used my savings to rent a flat the other end of town. I smiled at the thought and turned to the wardrobe. Even though it was a weekend and it seemed like regulation for all people my age to spend it in my warm bed until lunch, I had a job, working at the local coffee house. It wasn't much but as it surprisingly paid well, I didn't complain.

I put on my black top and pants and grabbed my red apron. I tied my hair into a slick ponytail and headed towards the door.

"Ah, Bella, off to work?" Mrs. Ancaster smiled as she stood by her office door with a coffee in hand. I smiled and meekly nodded.

"Yeah, I'll see you later." I never spoke to her much throughout the last eight years. She thought she had taught me manners and how to behave but the reality was that I knew that if we spoke for too long I'd either say something I'd regret later or she'd bring up a subject I really didn't want to talk about.

Great, only eight thirty and already I was thinking about him. I must have some sort of crazy obsession. I brushed past Mrs. Ancaster and walked down to the bus shelter which was only a five minute walk as my car was in for repair for the next few days to my dismay.

I got on the bus and headed off to work. The one thing that worried me on the bus was some of the crazy people I got stuck sitting on the bus with. This morning it just happened to be a crazy cat lady.

"-And so I told him, you can't love me if you don't love my cats…"

I nodded with a shocked smile on my face. I put my earphones of my iPod in, hoping she would get the message I wasn't really in the mood for her life story. Apparently she did realize but thought my earphones may be a tad distracting. She yanked them out and started to continue with her story.

"That's better dear, I was concerned you couldn't hear me with those little things in your ears, you probably had some funky little jam playing huh? Oh, that reminds me of one of my first cats, Kitty; whenever I played this one song she just used to bounce around like a nutter! Salem was the complete opposite though; He used to run away from the music. Oh! How rude of me… going on like this to you…"

I nodded, thankful that I wouldn't have to hear anymore about her cats.

"I should have introduced them to you first!" She laughed. I gawked at her and imagined hitting myself around the head with a frying pan a few times. She fiddled around in her basket for a few seconds before she started hissing. Yes, hissing.

"Bad cat, Bad cat! Me-ow!" She wailed. I was shocked that she started 'meowing' to the basket. She pulled out a cat and sat in the small space between us. This is Jenkins the third." She smiled as she started to stroke the cat and making purring noises herself. I could probably just get off the bus and walk the next two stops… I thought irrationally. I looked out the window, trying to block out the crazy cat ladies words. We stopped at the next stop and I was about to get off when I felt the claws of a cat dig into my arm. I screamed and looked down to see two cats hissing and attacking each other. In the cat ladies basket was another cat that kept taking swipes at my arm. The cat lady was oblivious to her cat's mental behavior and was still telling me names, descriptions of every cat and which flavor food they prefer. Then from the corner of my eye I saw the same perfectly tousled hair I had dreamt about for eight years. I looked up and caught his eye just as the bus started to drive off again. It couldn't have been. There's no way, I'm sure he isn't the only one with perfect hair and sparkling green eyes… I looked down at my lap and sat in thought until I got to my stop. I managed to get off the bus this time but still received a few slashes to my arm. I walked up to the coffee house and fastened my apron.

"Bella!" Rosalie greeted me from behind the counter.

"Hi Rosalie" I smiled. Rosalie had been working here for a few months before I got the job. We ended up great friends as most of our shifts were at the same time.

"What happened to your arm?" She said as she lifted my arm to take a better look at it.

"Oh, just some crazy cat lady on a bus…"

She laughed and dropped my arm. "Well once you get this new apartment I will be able to drive you here without you being savagely attacked. Rosalie was the one who found my new apartment because the building was next door to her house. "How long until you move in?"

"Uh, six days now"

"Can I have an Espresso please?" A customer asked. I turned around and started to make the order.

"Wow! That must be really exciting."

"Yeah it is." I started to pour the boiling water into the cup and looked over to Rosalie. "So how was your weekend?"

"Yeah it was good. I just hung out at Emmett's house. We tried to set his brother up with a date but he came home not even an hour later! It's like he enjoys being a complete loner…"

I lightly laughed and finished up on the drink order. I walked over to the customer with the drink but slid on somebody's coat that was draped over their chair. I fell onto my back and the boiling drink fell on my right hand. I yelped in pain and rushed up to put in under some cold water.

"Oh my gosh! Bella! Are you okay?" Rosalie said as she rushed over to check if I was okay. "I've already told Michael that gloves should be part of our uniform…maybe we should get bum pads to protect your bum as well…" She giggled.

"I'm okay; it's just a bit sore. I'll just go clean up the mess." I turned off the tap and realized my and was bright red. It hurt so much but I really didn't want to make the scene I had made any bigger.

"Geez, Bella! Your hand! You should go down to the hospital and get it checked out. I'll clean up here." Another round of pain went through my hand and I realized Rosalie was right.

"Are you sure?" I asked as I attempted to take off my apron with one hand.

"Yes, now go!"

I smiled and ran out of the door, glad that the cold wind eased the sting of my hand. Luckily the hospital was only a few streets away so I could easily jog there. I bumped into a few people and nearly knocked one man over as I ran. I slipped a few times and tripped over an imaginary rock, but managed to get there five minutes later.

"Hi, I just scolded my hand and wanted to get it checked out." I panted when I reached the main desk.

"Sure, take a seat. Oh, and you'll need to fill in a few forms." The blonde lady behind the desk smiled as she handed me a clipboard and a pen.

I took a seat and realized I had burnt my writing hand… great. I filled in the forms very messily and on a very strange slant, hopefully it was still legible. I handed it back and waited only a few minutes later until I was called to be checked out.

"Isabella Swan?" A muscular man in scrubs asked from the hallway. I got up and walked over to him.

"Hi Isabella, I'm Emmett. Let's go get your hand sorted out." He smiled. He looked about double my size so I imagined I must have looked quite small and scrawny to him.

He took me inside a room and gestured for me to sit on the bed.

"Ok, Isabella. So you burnt your hand while…"Embarrassingly enough, his lips were moving as he tried to pronounce what I had written. "Ri-Ropped…Tripped!" He yelled, happy that he had been able to read my indecipherable writing.

"I was holding an Espresso and tripped on a coat…" I explained, my face burning red with embarrassment. I sounded like such a klutz. Emmett started laughing as he looked at my hand.

"I'm…"He started to say in between laughs. "I'm sorry, it's just, it's quite funny… and just your writing on the paper…" I sighed and closed my eyes. Surely doctors weren't supposed to laugh at their patients… am I that sad that they just can't help but crack themselves up over my misfortune?

I looked up at Emmett and he was trying to control himself as he was flipping through the rest of the information I managed to write on the forms.

"Okay well, back to your hand." He took hold of my arm and started to look over it. After half an hour of examination on my hand, it was bandaged up and I had been given some medicine.

"So don't do too much with your hand for awhile…" He winked. I gasped and snapped my hand back from him.

"I mean don't fall over anymore and stop making coffees for now!" He laughed at my accusation.

"Oh, right, of course. Well thanks." I smiled and walked out of the room bright red face and all. I decided I would just go home as Rosalie had probably told our boss, Michael what had happened.

I got home and went straight to my room as I was already tired from today's events. I took the medicine that Emmett had given me and I laid down on my bed. A montage of my day went through my head as I laid and looked up at the ceiling. My bus journey home, I had to sit next to Mr. Gangster Rap who continued to rap and 'beat box' in my ear. And he wasn't even good at it. He was just some strange pale nerdy looking kid with a golf vest on.

Then I went through my hour at the hospital. How I accused the Doctors assistant, Emmett of thinking dirty… and then when I fell at the coffee house… That must have been a sight for some of the customers... Then my bus journey there, the crazy cat lady and her cats… and him.

Cut it out Bella! I thought to myself. I mentally slapped myself across the head for thinking about him again. But I couldn't help wonder if it was him or not, it could have been just a figment of my imagination or perhaps just a complete stranger…

A complete stranger... Surely that's all he would be to me. He obviously would have changed a lot from the sneaky eleven year old I knew so well. The person who wanted to be the 'Frog Leader'…It still made me smile at the thought of it. But now I would barely know him so why wasn't I letting go? He could be a crazy serial killer for all I know! After conjuring up all the evil things Edward could be, my medicine kicked in and my eyes started to droop. They grew heavy and I couldn't fight to keep them open anymore so I let the medicine take over and I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Edward POV

My alarm went off at the time I had regrettably set it and I instantly regretted helping Jasper out. It was too cold to get out of bed but I knew I had to. My fist slammed the clock next to my bed and I let out a deep yawn as I retracted my hand from the now quiet alarm clock. Who says violence doesn't resolve anything? I thought to myself with a chuckle.

I heaved myself out of bed and headed into the shower to restart my body. The hot water slid down my body and defrosted my stiff joints. I picked up my shampoo and realized it was strawberry scented. I smiled and happily scrubbed it in my hair. I knew that I would get teased by Jasper and Emmett and probably anyone who walked too close to me, but I couldn't help but love it.

I got out of the shower and threw on my scrubs. I headed downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed myself some toast that Esme was cooking.

"Good morning Edward! Wow, your hair smells wonderful!" She smiled.

I groaned but couldn't help the small smile that played across my face at her sweet thoughts. "I didn't know you were working this morning..."

"Yeah, I'm covering Jasper's shift so he can hang out with Alice today." I rolled my eyes as I chugged down some orange juice.

"Well that's lovely of you Edward, have a good day." She waved as I jumped out of my seat and headed towards the door.

I got in my car and started to drive towards the hospital but decided to get a newspaper on the way. I paid for it and looked up to see the same girl that had been haunting my every thought in a bus passing by. I felt an urge to jump on the bus and hold her in my arms but just as I took a step forward, the bus drove off. I sighed and slowly walked back to my car. I sat down for awhile and then realized I would be late if I kept mopping around any longer. I turned the keys in the ignition and drove off.

I got the hospital on time and I saw Carlisle talking sternly to Emmett about something. I started to walk over and discovered that he was being told off for something.

"Emmett how many times do I have to tell you that the syringes are not for water guns?"

Emmett looked up as I approached and remembered something I really hoped he would have forgotten. I started to turn and walk away but I heard Emmett shout.

"It was Eddie's Idea! He was the one trying to scare off some of the patients here by squirting the water at them!" I stood frozen, hoping that all of those years of practicing my magic disappearing trick would pay off.

"Edward?" Carlisle bellowed.

Apparently it hadn't paid off.

I turned around slowly, afraid of his facial expression. I was sure the outcome wouldn't be good.

"Edward, what the hell were you thinking?!" He screeched.

"It's not what it sounds like…" I quickly stated.

"Well then what the fuck does it sound like?!" He was really angry now. Carlisle never swore so this was extremes for him.

"It was just this one patient that was giving me the shits…" I sighed, exasperated.

"And so you decided to scare the hell out of him as if your some crazy doctor with a syringe?! Edward! I should have you fired! Geez, did you break into the medication room or something and get high?"

Emmett started snickering behind us. Carlisle looked at him and then turned back to me with a glare.

"Edward…"

"I didn't! I swear! Emmett, piss off! Carlisle, I didn't, he's just a big, fat idiot, and surely you know that…"

"Edward and Emmett Cullen… I've never been more embarrassed of you both…" Carlisle whispered, barely audible.

I looked down at my shoes in shame. "I'm sorry Carlisle. I promise to be on my best behavior from now on." I started to kick my shoes against the floor.

"Yes well. I think I need to cool off a bit. Emmett, go to the front desk and you can be on minor injury duty. Edward, go get five coffees one for each of us, Dr. Limpis and Dr. Smith. The coffee machine here is broken. Go, both of you now." With that, Carlisle stormed off, shaking his head.

"Ed, you got off Easy!" Emmett said as he slapped my back.

"Oh Shut up Emmett… I can't believe you told him!" I walked off towards the main entrance. As the coffee house was just a few streets down, I could easily walk it. I walked slowly, enjoying the time by myself.

I reached the coffee house and sighed as I opened the door of the shop and the warmth hit me like a flood of satisfaction. I walked in a few steps and saw Rosalie bent down on the floor.

"Hey Rose." I laughed.

"Hey Edward" She said in surprise. "Well don't you look dashing in your manly scrubs?" She teased. I cocked an eyebrow at her and laughed.

"So is the floor more interesting than taking orders then?"

"Ha-Ha… Actually one of my friends who work here tripped and burnt her hand. She went off to the hospital and now I'm cleaning up." I laughed which I knew was mean but I couldn't help myself.

"Stop it… she was actually hurt!" Rosalie protested.

"Okay, okay. Is she okay?"

"Her hand looked pretty bad but something tells me she's going to live…"She smiled.

"Mom… well you never know… these burns on the hand… their quite deadly…" I joked. "I better get these coffees for Carlisle. See you later."

"Okay, well say hello to Emmett for me." I nodded and walked towards the counter to order the drinks.

As I walked back to the hospital I was in deep thought about this morning when I went to buy the newspaper. It had to be her, she returned my questioning glance. But this could all just be an exaggeration of my memory… It happens all the time… but never so clear… I thought. I shook my head and tried to push it to the back of my head and think of more important things.

I pushed the entrance door of the hospital and found Carlisle. After I had handed out the coffees to the Doctors he had named, I restocked some of the draws full of cotton buds. The shift went by slowly and Carlisle was now weary of my every action so I had to keep reporting to him.

On my way home I decided to stop past the CD store. I was still in my scrubs but couldn't care less. I parked my car on the curb and hopped out of the car. I searched around the store for awhile and decided on buying a couple of CD's. I walked up to the counter and was greeted by an overly friendly assistant.

"Hey" She said in a flirtatious tone. I shook my head and put the CD's on the counter.

"Hi." I paid for the CD's and began to walk off until she stopped me. I considered walking away but she ran in front of me. "Your bracelet thing…" She looked in disgust at it. Anyone would, as it was all scruffy and worn now, but to me it was the most beautiful thing to existence. Scratch that. It's the second. I smiled at it and took hold of it. "It came off when you walked away." She smiled and played with her hair. I walked past her and shot a 'Thank you' over my shoulder on my way out.

I put on the Taking Back Sunday CD and drove home.

I parked in the garage and just sat there in my car listening to the gentle hum of my car. I always did this when I was alone. I didn't really enjoy other company in instances such as this. I looked at the bracelet that I had been holding the entire journey home. I smiled and fastened it back on my wrist. It got tighter over time and the knots at the ends became harder and harder to tighten. Once I had managed to successfully tie it up, I got out of the car and walked inside with a smile. The house was empty which was quite rare for the Cullen residence. I looked around and decided to sync the CD's to my iPod and then I wandered aimlessly around the house. I got changed and then settled on going into the garden. I had always loved our garden. The garden was very long and extended onto a small creek. I stepped onto some small rocks as I tried to get to the other side of the creek. I walked around for awhile. I used trek around here when I was about 14. I had come here so many times growing up that I never got lost anymore. I did the first time I came here and Esme nearly had a heart attack.

I walked towards an area that I had come to love over time. It looked like a little meadow and there were always warm rays of sun shining through. I decided to sit there. I had my iPod with me so I decided to sit and listen to some music. I had always enjoyed classical music and it fitted my meadow perfectly. I enjoyed lying there for awhile, watching as the clouds drifted away. The sun caught a glimmer on a metal box which I had just noticed from the corner of my eye. I sat up and instantly knew what it was. On my third visit here, I decided to bring apart of me here. I walked over to it and opened it. I looked at it for awhile not daring to touch it. I finally reached down into the box and picked up the objects inside. There was a DVD of me playing the piano when I first moved here. I didn't play in front of people when I was at the adoption centre but I did it quite a lot when people were busy outside or something. When I arrived at the Cullen's I found it heard not to play in front of them as they seemed to always be so supportive and encouraging. From then on I had loved playing and they had recorded me numerous times. This was my favorite though as it was my song for her. I fumbled through the rest of the things in my box. I picked up a picture of Alice, Bella and me. It used to make me smile for days straight just by looking at it. I was pulling on one of Alice's small pigtails from behind Bella's back and Bella had just planted a kiss on my cheek.

There was also a baseball and glove in the box. Then I found a birthday card from Bella from my birthday before I left. I wanted to keep it because it said Love Bella. I found this so heart-warming and insisted on keeping it. There was another photo in the box, this one of my parents with me when I was only a week old. My mom was wearing the same love heart charm on the neck that I had given Bella on my eleventh birthday. I didn't tell her it was my mom's as I knew she wouldn't have taken it.

I didn't want to look through the box anymore as everything inside brought a new round of memories of her. I closed it and looked at the closed box for a few moments, letting the wave of heart ache flow over me. I felt a drop of water on the cheek and looked up at the sky. It was starting to rain. I picked up the box, deciding that I would find a better day to look at it. I walked back to the creek. I hopped onto the stones. I got to the other side and walked back to the house. It was lit up now as people were home. It made me wonder how long I was out there. I flipped open my phone and realized it had been five hours. Time had always seemed to fly by when I was out there.

I walked through the back door to see everyone getting ready for dinner.

"Edward! Where have you been?" Esme frowned. "I was worried!"

"Just across the creek" I smiled and helped Alice set the table.

"How was your day Alice?" I smiled.

"Brilliant!" She smiled so much it looked as if her face about to fall off. "Thank you for helping Jasper..."

"No problem." I grinned. I loved seeing Alice like this. It hurt me to see her so upset when we first got here. I always heard her saying 'I promised to be happy so I'll be happy!' To herself like a little mantra but I didn't understand it completely. But then she met Jasper and she has been jumping around ever since.

There was a knock at the door and Alice ran over as fast as her little legs could carry and opened the door. Rosalie and Jasper walked in. Jasper hugged the might out of Alice and Rosalie started kissing Emmett passionately. I looked away and just sat down at the table. I took a deep sigh. They had each been dating for four years and I had grown more used to it, but it still put me off my food slightly.

We all discussed our days, Carlisle subtly adding that he would have to be watching me and Emmett a bit closer, Esme tutted but then lightly laughed.

"Oh! Is it that Mike Newton kid from our school?" Alice asked when I explained what happened.

"Oh! Him! Geez, no wonder… I thought it was someone half normal…"Rosalie laughed.

"Apparently he has the smallest-"

"Emmett! We're eating!" Esme screeched with a look of horror on her face. She knew Emmett far too well.

"Chill Esme, I was just going to say he has the smallest storage space in the back of his car…"Emmett said angelically, batting his eyes. It seemed like a Cullen tradition.

Esme raised an eyebrow then looked back at her food. While Esme was looking away Emmett shook his head animatedly and pointed towards his crotch...

Jasper, who was chewing his food at the time, burst out laughing, his food spluttering all over Carlisle.

"Jasper!" Carlisle yelled, jumping up from his chair. He wiped away some of the half chewed potato from his cheek and glared at Jasper.

Jasper looked like he was about to crap his pants there and then.

"I…I'm sorry Dr. Cullen…"

"What is it with you three boys?" He asked incredulously. He pushed his chair in and picked up his plate. "Thank you Esme, dear, that was lovely but I might just go into my office for awhile…" He walked off and brushed another piece of Jaspers potato from his shirt. As soon as he left the room, everyone was in hysterics. They couldn't stop laughing.

Later that night I decided to sort through the rest of the things in the meadow box. I hesitated to open it then decided I could show Alice and she might be able to cheer me up if I get too affected by anything. I walked to the door and called Alice from the landing.

Alice bounded up the stairs as if in a bubble of happiness. "Yes Edward?"

"Today I found a box of some of my old things and wanted to know if you wanted to look through them with me." I batted my lashes, hoping she wouldn't deny my pleading.

"Okay. Sure." She smiled. "Jaspers playing x-box with Emmett anyway…"

She skipped into my room and looked at the box on my bed. "Is this the box?"

"Yeah, I kept it on the other side of the creek and just found it today."

She sat cross legged on the end of my bed and opened the box.

She gasped as she looked inside. "Oh my gosh! Edward! I didn't know you had this!" She looked as if she was about to cry and suddenly I felt guilty for bringing her down with me in my misery. Just as I was about to tell her to go and find Jasper again, she looked up and started laughing. "Edward you big bully!" She chuckled.

I started laughing with her. She was always such a good pick me up, she transformed the upsetting picture into a laughable one. I was so grateful that Carlisle adopted Alice as well otherwise I never would have gotten through it all.

I sat down and watched as she rummaged through the rest of the box. She pulled out a letter and looked up at me as if to ask to open it. I looked at it strangely, not knowing what it was but nodded anyway. She tore open the paper.

"Dear Bella,

This is my goodbye.

This letter is bittersweet, bringing you comfort and an end to us.

I'm sorry, but I didn't know how to say goodbye to you.

So I didn't.

I know I was a coward but I knew that seeing you cry would cut me into pieces that would be beyond repair.

I also know that this letter is a few years too late but I'm hoping this letter will bring closure to us both. I don't actually think closure is the right term for us, but I've had too many sleepless nights and I've come to realize you deserved at least this letter.

Yours always, Edward Cullen" Alice read quietly.

We were both silent, neither knowing what to say.

"Why didn't you send it?" Alice asked so quiet I had to check she actually did say something. She did, and I didn't have a response.

"I was too scared. I didn't want to hurt her."

"So you decided to wallow in your own self pity? Edward, you already hurt her more than you think. The night we left I could see the pain in her eyes. She thought you didn't like her anymore…"

I was frozen, frozen into a state of shock and pain. I felt like I should crawl into a cave and die. Or at least be killed by a hungry pack of wolves for hurting Bella. I felt so ashamed. I never thought I would be the one to hurt Bella. I wasn't even sure she reciprocated the same feelings towards me. I knew there was something, but I wasn't sure how strongly she felt towards me. I looked up at Alice who was huddled into a ball and looking gloomy as hell. I shouldn't be allowed near civilization, I hurt anyone who comes close to me. I sighed put my head in my hands. My fingers pulled at my hair and I felt like screaming.

I felt Alice get off my bed and I felt relieved for her. I didn't want to hurt her like I had hurt Bella, at least for now I had just affected her good mood. She could always bounce back at a simple touch from Jasper. I just wasn't sure if Bella bounced back after my departure.

I heard a click and I looked up to see Alice at my CD player. She hit play and the Spice Girls filled my room. I laughed at her bad sense in music.

"Maybe this will put us in a better mood. If we start to get soppy, we can just listen to the music and get cheery!" I laughed lightly.

"I don't think we'll get cheery Alice… more like brain dead…"

She dramatically gasped. "I think you'll find that this song is very cheery! Unless you prefer S Club 7" She started squealing and left my room and ran back a few moments later with a new CD. I groaned hammered my head into my pillow.

I could hear Alice singing loudly along and her little steps on the ground as she danced around. I heard her laughing which lifted my mood a bit.

Jasper and Rosalie left half an hour later. Alice had helped me sort through the rest of it. She found positive notes for most things which I was thankful for but I knew that the wave of guilt would wash over me as soon as I went to sleep.

And when I did go to sleep, the wave surprisingly wasn't as heavy as I thought it would be. I managed to fall asleep shortly after my head hit the pillow and I realized I really was in good need of sleep. My eyelids fell heavily over my eyes as I drifted off to sleep.

A.N: Review? :D

Muchly appreciated!