IX.
Shock
"I can't believe that you actually think I'm some kind of idiot! How dare you!" I screamed, wanting to just hurt the vampire standing in front of me.
"Would you calm down, Leah? You're being irrational right now," he said gently, trying to touch me.
"Don't touch me! Don't you dare touch me! How could you? And you backed him up with his lie?!" I screeched to Carlisle and the rest of his family.
"He did not lie, Leah," Edward injected firmly.
"Then if he didn't then what the hell is this doing at that site?! They found the dead body near the reservation; near the reservation. What kind of sick joke is this?! Is this some kind of taunt?!" I screamed hysterically, brandishing the band that I have carefully sown at his face. I couldn't look at it now it's damaged.
"I did not do anything. How could you think that I could do something like that?" Ethan asked indignantly.
"Then answer me this honestly: what the hell is this doing at a vampire killing?" I asked, my voice breaking in different places. I was begging him silently that he would say something that would finally convince me that he did not have any involvement in the hunt of a vampire. He avoided my gaze and looked away. It was enough for me and I turned and ran to the forest, phasing to a wolf even before I was completely out of their house.
I thought that I finally found something that I could live forever for. I thought that I could finally accept this insane imprinting without anything happening. How could he do that to me? I should have known. I was never meant to be happy. I couldn't just let him kill innocent humans just because he can't control his hunger. I was still a guardian of both the pale faces and my own people.
Leah, maybe he didn't do it, I heard Jacob's voice talk in my head. I scoffed. Well if Edward said he didn't do anything, he must not have done anything at all.
Then when I asked him if he did have anything to do with that killing, why did he look away?
I don't know Leah. But we can't kill him.
We can't let him kill to satisfy his hunger. He promised he wouldn't drink human blood any longer.
Maybe he didn't. What if he just know someone who did that?
Why didn't he tell us who? And besides, the body was about two weeks old. His eyes were black today so that means he's thirsty now and he must have hunted days ago. What if he goes after another human? What if he hunts and kill a human? What if that human was one of the people we love, Jacob? We have responsibility now!
Wow, look at you talking about responsibility, he laughed sarcastically.
Oh shut up Jake. I'm serious. We need to do something.
What exactly do you suggest? You imprinted on him and now he's entitled to the pack's protection.
But before I could answer, Seth's excited voice interrupted us, Jake, you need to come here. New kids are phasing, we'll have some new pups.
Chill out kid. What are you so excited about?
New pups, Leah, new pups!
So? You know you're the one who'll babysit them right?
Oh sure!
I mean you need to train them and stuff. Are you up to that?
Why wouldn't I? Just come there, you two.
I headed for the Reservation trying to reason out once again what was happening. The new pups must mean that vampires were arriving once again. So Ethan might not have done the vampire killing but he knows someone who could have done it. He should know better. He should have told me or at least Jacob.
Wait, what? He knows something about the killing? Seth asked outraged.
We need to find out more about it. We need to know about the truth. I mean, we don't want to kill the wrong vampire, Jacob reasoned. His voice was all-knowing. He knew he was right but it didn't actually make me feel any better.
Oh look, you're actually caring about a vampire, not to mention a vampire that you really disliked when you first met. I pointed out sarcastically. I heard Seth laugh like a hyena.
The only reason why I didn't go after him was that he's your imprint mate, Leah, Jacob said putting heavy emphasis on my name as I turned to the corner leading to the Reservation.
I rolled my eyes, Yeah, sure Jake.
Whatever. Where are these new pups anyways Seth?
At the Reservation.
Where are you two?
I could see the Reservation from where I am. Maybe just five miles away.
And you Seth?
I'm still at the house. There's too many cars speeding this way to pass by without anyone noticing.
Jake, I think you need to put up the treaty once again. I thought just out of nowhere.
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! We can't denounce our alliance with the Cullens because you are having trouble with Ethan. Seth interjected.
Did anyone ask you, Seth? I spat.
Enough you two! But Seth's right, Leah, that would make everything a bit more harder. And I'm not going to give up seeing Nessie.
You are so selfish!
Look Leah, we just need the facts and then figure out how we'll destroy this thing before it kills too many or create new vampires. We don't need another situation like Victoria's. Just be rational for awhile.
Whatever.
Meet me at the big sassafras tree near, west of the Reservation, Leah. That's where we're going to wait for you, Seth.
Fine, I thought as I turned west. I really didn't want to go take care of new pups right now. I just wanted to know what was going on with Ethan.
How would you know what's going on if you keep on convincing yourself that he did you wrong? Jake pointed out.
I just want to know the truth. I saw the big sassafras tree. The huge sand-colored wolf sat at the bottom of the trunk, it's tongue sticking out like a common dog.
Eiw, Jake. Put your tongue on your mouth. I could smell your breath and it's not very fresh.
Shut up Leah. I'm hot and thirsty.
You shouldn't have ran that fast. You know you can't beat me.
Stop trying to make it everything a race.
Then why did you run that fast?
Because I thought you were already here.
See, it's a race.
We were silent for awhile, both wrapped in our own thoughts that we both could hear. I didn't comment on his problems and he didn't comment on mine either. It was better that way. But then my name came to his head and along it was the feeling of pity. I stopped thinking and tried to listen. Jake whimpered beside me.
What's wrong with you?
It's just that I really feel sorry for you, Leah.
I don't need pity, Jacob.
I know but... I just can't help feeling sorry for you. I mean you keep getting your heart broken. Don't you get tired of it?
Yeah. I guess Jake but.. I can't really do anything about it. I mean I know there's something wrong with me. Maybe that's the consequence of being this...monster.
Are you going to be bitter again?
No. I think I'm tired of that.
He really did change you.
No. No one has changed me, Jacob. I change in my own free will.
Yeah but you're imprint mate doesn't want you to become bitter again. You're just following what he wants. You can't really do anything about that either.
He was right. At the thought of Ethan, I had this strong urge of desire to please him even though he was the reason why I was miserable right now. I was mad beyond belief too but then something inside me says that I can't be hateful and I wanted to please that creature resting in my heart.
That's the effect of the imprint, Leah.
I know.
Hey, I'm almost there now. Seth thought out loud after we were silent.
Ok. We're just waiting here.
Yeah, I heard. I really don't know what to tell you Leah. I don't like him that much but... maybe that's because I feel that he's taking you away from me.
Awww Seth. That's sweet but don't worry, I'll always be here.
Yuck, this is making me sick, Jacob suddenly interrupted and we burst out laughing. It was weird dying while laughing heartily but I love the feeling. Soon we saw Seth approaching us and we headed for the Reservation. I let Seth lead the way because he knew where the pups where.
How did you know about the pups, Seth?
Billy called mom. Lucky I was there and I was able to tell you guys right away.
Yeah, sure Seth.
We headed for a house that was quiet small and was just at the edge of the Reservation. We heard the first signs of a phasing-the combination of screams of agony and growls of pain. We exchange looks with each other but we kept our thoughts to ourselves and continued on in. The two young boys that looked a lot like Seth were thrashing on the floor while the elders and their parents surrounded them. The boys' skins were ripping apart while tan and black furs were replacing them.
"You've got to do something, please!" a lady as old as my own mom was begging, her eyes were swollen and red. She must be one of the mothers of the two boys.
Reach out your minds to them. Jacob instructed. I tried to reach out my mind to them but all I could hear was screaming and screeching. The boys were screaming both their lungs and brains off.
Arrrrrggggghhhh!!!! One screamed. We all felt the pain and shivered. I have completely forgotten the feeling of having your limbs and skin torn apart when you phase into a wolf. We all just got used to it until it gradually disappeared.
Please make it stop! Do something to make it stop! Another screamed.
Ok, just focus on my voice, Jacob said soothingly. He was really good at this. It was the Alpha's responsibility to aid the new pups. He couldn't take the pain that comes along the phasing but he can make them forget about it until they are wolves. Then he'll tell them to keep on practicing phasing back and forth until the pain was gone.
Thanks for detailing it, Leah.
Oops. Sorry Jake.
There's a girl? The pleading one said, disgust and curiosity mixed in his voice.
Yeah, you got a problem with that? I asked him friskily.
Look, Leah, we'll need to assist them in phasing back and forth and I don't think they'll be a bit uncomfortable around you.
What? Jacob I've seen you naked ever since you phased. Then I saw Quil, Jared, Paul, Seth, Embry, Brady, and Collin naked. I'm used to seeing whatever you guys have. Do you think I won't see what these two have under those clothes?
Yeah, and we also saw you naked. But these two still hasn't gotten to the use to the idea of phasing.
We're going to see you naked? One of the boys asked suddenly forgetting about the pain.
Hey, I thought you were suffering? Seth asked warningly.
Or do you want me to make you suffer little dweebs? I continued scorching. I phased back to a human. The others were shocked and then fascinated at my body. I growled but the ladies around me wrapped me in a quilt and lead me to new clothes.
I jumped out of the house to the back window and walked to the forest in the back. I wandered and let my feet take me wherever it wants. My thoughts were in a blur. New pups were coming and from that brief encounter, it looks like now there were more pain in my ass than Jacob and Seth ever were. I mean controlling Jacob and Seth were easier but adding two new members to the pack was a bit handful for me. It was a while since I was in others' heads and welcoming thoughts and personalities of new boys were just a bit handful. Maybe it would be easier if I invited Quil to join our pack. I don't think Jacob would object. I think he would love that. I wondered why he didn't thought of it before? Quil can still become a wolf but he lessens it now. He would occasionally phase to a wolf so he wouldn't get old but he wasn't a part of our pack. He was the only remaining wolf in Sam's pack, so technically its his pack.
I started heading back to the Reservation to go talk to Quil. He was living on his own now and sometimes Claire would visit him there. I hate to admit it but I miss having the others around and I wished the others were able to phase back like they used to. Then we would be a huge family once again. Ok, maybe I don't want Paul or Sam in my head again but then I would love to have the others to share my opinions with.
"Leah?" a distant voice screamed. I must have wandered farther than I intended to. I wondered how far I was from the Reservation.
"So you're Leah, are you?" a cold, slick voice crept behind me. I span around and I saw the beautiful, pale, angelic face of Jane right in front of me. The air in my lungs disintegrated and I was left gasping for breath. She smiled at my panic. I wanted to scream or run but I couldn't. My brain was jammed and my heart was crushed by fear. She was here and I suddenly knew that Ethan wasn't lying. But why did he keep me from knowing she was here? I told myself I didn't want to think of that. As she stalled for a while, I filled my head with Ethan's face. Ethan.