Ranger24: Hi everyone this is my very own Christmas speacil. Entitled It's a wonderful Fanfiction.
It's a wonderful Fanfiction
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Christmas at Fanfiction may Cry. One would at first expect it to be sparsely decorated. Well whoever thinks that needs to take another look.
On the door was large wreath, the archway over the door cover in Christmas lights. The windows, normally dark and slightly depressing, were light up like a dutch brothel. Garlen lined the inside of the windows as both decorative and to keep out the cold.
Inside the shop was as of yet unchanged except for several large boxes in the middle of the room and Ranger standing in the midst of them holding a pair of nail guns.
Lilo stood by the juke box wearing a world war 2 british helmet for safety. Stitch had the same type of helmet on only he was hiding behind the sofa.
"Ready?" Lilo asked cautiously.
Ranger nodded.
Lilo quickly pressed down on the play button on the jukebox and dove behind it as heavy cords began to bang their way out of the speakers. Not exactly festive but they got Ranger's focus.
He kicked open one of the box's and threw several stockings into the air. He brought up the nail guns and hammered of three nails, pinning the stockings over the TV seeing as how they didn't have a fireplace.
Then he yanked out of another box several yards of garlandand threw them towards the stair rail! Before they could fall he opened fire with the nail guns again and stuck the nails in place. The garland fell peacefully into place.
Then Ranger pulled out a box of nut crackers and, quick as a flash, he set them up on every conivable place to set one down. There were long lines of nut crackers with rifles, swords, banners, scepters, drums, tools, bags of Christmas presents, and the occasional hunter.
Then Ranger rushed back to the boxes and brought out a large Christmas tree and quickly set it up. Before anyone could blink he was fitting ornaments into place, running a string of red beads from top to bottom, and slapping a golden spire into place at the top of the tree.
Then he yanked out a wreath, bringing up the nail gun again. He threw it towards the bathroom door and fired a nail perfectly through the wreath and it stuck in the door and gave just enough space for the wreath to land comfortably.
Then he pulled out a festive doormat and threw it towards the door before grabbing a box of mixed Christmas decorations and rushed up the stairs to the small kitchen. Setting them out quickly he then matled over the railing and came down right in his desk chair. He leaned back and slapped his feet down on the desk.
"Time." He said.
Lilo came out of cover holding a stop watch, turning off the jukebox.
"1 minute 35 seconds."
Ranger laughed. "New record."
At that moment TSS came through the door covered in snow.
"Sup Shadow?" Ranger asked pulling out a bottle of water and downing it all in one go.
"I told you not to call me that." TSS snaped.
"Sorry." Ranger replied.
TSS sighed and sat down on the couch.
"I hate to give you a job two days from Christmas and all but this can't wait." TSS said.
"What is it?" Ranger asked.
"There's been an attack on the south side of town. Theres some freak attacking people down there, freezing them alive, those that aren't frozen alive enter a strange depression. Some even go suicidal. City council wants it dealt with now. Pays pretty good to." TSS said walking over to the desk.
"Some nuts making people want to end their lives? That's just wrong. I'll take care of it right now." Ranger said standing up and grabbing his cloak. He was now also wearing a longer sleeved green shirt. He grabbed his sword from behind his desk and walked over the TSS.
"Lilo, don't mess the place up. Stitch, make sure she doesn't mess the place up. Lilo, make sure Stitch makes sure you don't mess the place up. I'll be back in a bit." Ranger said over his shoulder as he opened the door letting in a blast of cold air.
FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC
Ranger's mongoose came to a halt by a snow drift. All about him in this area of town there were signs of adverse times. People sat on street corners or on doorsteps with down cast faces. Ranger frowned and walked his way down the street.
An old begger man stumbled out of an alley. He glanced at Ranger and smiled waving.
"Merry Christmas." The man said.
Ranger smiled and was about to reply when a loud banging sound caught his attention. The old man turned to the alley across the street and gave a scream!
Out of the alley shot a massive serpentine female shape. It had black hair and red eyes and hissed violently as it shot towards the old man.
Before it could attack though a round form one of Ranger's pistol caught it in the side! It crashed to the ground and hissed angrily. Ranger walked forward guns raised. Nobody accept the old man seemed to care for what was going on.
"You really chose a bad time to show your ugly face." Ranger said.
"So you're the slayer who has killed so many of my brethren in this area." The monster hissed back.
"Oh my god. You can talk." Ranger said rolling his eyes. "Tell you what, I'm in a good mood. You get the hell out of here and never come back and I'll let you live."
"Who about I just kill you instead!" The creature roared lunging at him! Ranger opened fire jumping back! Blood sprayed from the creatures shoulders and it was flung back into the snow.
Ranger charged forward now drawing his sword hoping to make a quick kill and this job fast.
Suddenly the monster sprang up and before he could counter it crashed into him and pinned him against the street with its claws. Ranger snarled and kicked it in the side releasing his boot knife but the blade snapped off and fell into the snow useless. He tried to push the monster off but it was to strong.
It cackled with delight at his attempts to gain the upper hand.
"Human's are so much fun. How your kind squirm."
Ranger bit it's arm and it howled in pain releasing him. He brought up his legs and mule kicked it in the chest. He tried to push himself up but it smashed him back to the ground by his arms. It's eyes were red with wrath.
"That defiance. That will to fight in your race is so annoying." Then she smirked.
"And so delicious." She whispered.
Suddenly Ranger felt a pain in his chest as though something were being pulled out of him. He cried out in pain as a bright sliver light emerged from his mouth and the creature snapped it up.
Then a wave of exhaustion over whelmed him. Then came the despair, the hopelessness, the grief, the emptiness.
"What did you do to me?" He whispered with out any conviction. There was no defiance, no passion, no strength, no grit behind his words.
"I took your will. Now you are nothing!" The creature said cackeling before it leapt off him and still cackleing flew away.
Ranger just lay there in the snow, an empty shell.
FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC
Back at Fanfiction May Cry some of Ranger's friends were arriving. David, Chibi, Nukid, and Ace were all at the front door.
"Hey Ranger open up!" David shouted.
The door opened to reveal Lilo and TSS.
"Sorry guys Ranger's out on a job." TSS said.
"Well when's he going to get back?" Chibi asked.
TSS shrugged. "I don't know he's running…"
Suddenly there came a scream from down the street. Everyone whirled around to see the monster Ranger had just fought coming straight at them! Ace brought up her rocket launcher and opened fire! The missile smashed into the creature but it didn't slow it's charge!
Out of the way!" Nukid shouted and everyone dove to the ground and the creature rushed over them before turning to face.
"What the hell is this thing?" David asked raising his shield sword.
"No idea, but it's gone and pissed me off." TSS said raising his MP5.
Chibi brought out her staff and Ace reloaded her rocket launcher.
"Let's make this quick." Nukid said going into a fighting stance.
FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC
As Ranger lay there in the snow the void inside him grew larger and larger. He felt as though everything he had done was pointless, that nobody cared for anything he'd done. He almost wanted to cry but he was to sober to even let a tear fall. Why was he even on fanfiction? All he'd ever done was write stories nobody cared about and cause arguments.
Slowly he reached into his pistol holster's and pulled out his M6C Magnum. The safety was already off. He brought the pistol up to his head and was about to pull the trigger.
"Hold it right there boy." Said a strong but gruff voice.
Ranger pushed himself up and looked behind him. Standing there was an Elite or sanghelli iin snow white armor with golden highlights.
"Who the hell are you?" He muttered.
"I am you're guardian Arbiter Ranger24. My name is Fusa'rona." The elite replied.
Ranger blinked in confusion.
"Guardian Arbiter?"
"Sure! Everyone on Fanfiction has one, they just don't know it!" Fusa'rona said laughing.
"What are you doing here?" Ranger asked although right now he hardly felt like he cared.
"I am here to fix you back up Ranger24, AKA the Prince of Badass." Fusa'rona said reaching forth a hand to Ranger. "Come there is much you must see."
Ranger groaned and allowed the Elite to pull him to his feet. Suddenly the snow began to pass through his body and there was a flash of white light. Ranger shut his eyes to keep from being blinded.
When he opened them he found they were in what looked like a crazy fangirls horrible attempts to write a fanfic with an actual plot.
"Where the hell are we?" Ranger asked.
"This is Fanfiction if you hadn't shown up." Fusa said as he began to walk down the street. Ranger quickly rushed after him.
"What the hell happened?" Ranger asked glancing about at the poorly maintained buildings, the jnk lying in the streets, and other things that made the place look like something out of a third world country.
"Without someone to keep the fangirls back they overwhelmed fanfiction. The whole place went straight to hell from there." Fusa replied.
"But what about David or Chibi, they hate fangirls as much as me." Ranger said watching as several fangirls grabbed a random guy off the street and dragged him screaming into a hotel.
"Well…" Fusa said as another flash of white light emersed them.
When they came out they found a guy in black coat sitting by the street sighed with an empty bottle of booze in his hands.
"What the hell? David!" Ranger shouted looking horror struck at his friend.
"He kept failing at Final fanfiction VII. He kept losing confidence because the sueauthors kept demanding they put him in the story so he gave up on it." Fusa said sadly.
"And Chibi?" Ranger asked.
"Look over there." Fusa said pointing over at a group of fangirls kicking a random female character to death. To Ranger's horror one of them had pig tails.
"Oh lord no." Ranger whispered.
"Without someone to point out that Yaoi was disgusting from a guys perspective and with out red vs blue Chibi became a fangirl and then a mary sue."
Ranger nearly gagged on this idea.
"What about Nukid and TSS? They're probably better without me, Nukid could finally finish Assassin's Creed." He asked.
"Well no." Fusa said as another blast of white light engulfed them. They came out at a run down cyber café where Ranger could see both of them sitting at opposite sides of the room. Nukid's face was down cast as he checked the reviews of a story.
"What the hell?" Ranger asked again.
"You were one of the first people to review Nukid's stories. Reviews give writer's confidence and without that Nukid was crushed into writing Disney stories that have been done forty times already." Fusa said watching as Nukid slumped over his computer.
"You suck! Burn in hell! Who taught you how to write a monkey?" An angry voice shouted.
Ranger turned to look at TSS who was typing furiously.
"What on earth?" He whispered.
"Everyone began to consider him a flamer. As such he became one." Fusa said sadly. "There is another thing you should see."
There was another flash of light and Ranger realized they were at Ace's place.
"What the? Where's Ace?" Ranger asked glancing about for his… Friend who was a girl. Okay, girl friend.
"You never got a fanfiction account and thus she never had a real urge to update her stories. Her account remained empty and her fics unwritten." Fusa said.
Ranger searched his mind for anything that might confirm his current self thoathing.
"What about the Author fighters? All I did was cause fights and arguments." Ranger said.
Fusa sighed. "Do you really need to know?" He asked.
"Just show me." Ranger dead panned.
There was another flash of light and they were in a cemetery at night. The wind was howling and the snow fell down from the tree's.
"What is this place?" Ranger asked.
"Look over there." Fusa said pointing over to a cluster of headstones.
Ranger walked over to them and brushed some snow from the names. Then he took a step back horrified.
'Here lies Hikari Ino died March 2008.'
"What the hell is this!" Ranger shouted running to the next grave. He brushed it off to reveal the name.
'Iron Mantis died March 2008.'
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" Ranger shouted brushing off the next grave.
'Juleit Gamer Died March 2008.'
"How did this happen?" Ranger asked running to the next grave.
'Here lies Airnaruto45 Died March 2008.'
"No." He whispered falling down into the snow. The crunch of snow told him that Fusa was walking up beside him.
"When DM was taken over by Drake you weren't there to lead the rescue mission. Darth Ben Valor lead the attack but they got slaughtered. They walked clean into an ambush. Nobody made it out alive." Fusa said.
"But Hikari set DM free of Drakes control!" Ranger shouted.
"Look at the next grave." Fusa said pointing to the next one.
Ranger brushed it off.
'Here lies Darkmagicainmon died March 2008.'
"How?" He whispered in a shakey voice.
"Hikari was able to free him but by that time it was to late. Everyone got slaughtered." Fusa said.
Ranger was silent staring at the tombstones.
"You are a piece of Fanfiction now. And right now Fanfiction needs you." Fusa said.
"I can't beat that thing." Ranger whispered.
"Yes you can. You are Ranger24 the last twilight warrior who walks free! The Prince of Badass! The asshole that pwn's noncannon pairings that are over used! The weilder of the Dragon's Maw, the Twilight fang, the Moon sword! The green death of Fangirls! The slayer of sues and stews! The Demon from Heaven!" Fusa shouted making Ranger stand up and turn about.
"How am I supposed to kill!? Bullet won't slay it, I can't fight it up close!" Ranger shouted back.
"The creature feeds on the will of it's victims. Your will has made it stronger. But your will can break it!" Fusa said.
"How?" Ranger asked.
"Your Darkside can Answer that question for you! There is only one you! Only you have your drive, your strength, your mercilessness, your adituted, your mind, you and only you can control your own power." Fusa said and Ranger finally thought he understood what Fusa meant.
"Take me back." Ranger said. Then a smirk crossed his face. "I need to kick that bitches ass."
The elite laughed a guttural deep laugh. "I've been waiting for you to say that!"
In a flash of light they were back in the street and Ranger was on his feet.
"You know what to do." The elite said.
Ranger nodded.
"Thank you." Ranger said giving the elite a respectfull node. The elite chuckled.
"Don't thank me. Happy holidays!" The Elite said as he vanished in a flash of light.
Ranger brought his hand to the hilt of his sword and drew it out the silver blue crescent moon at the hilt glimmered in the light reflected off the snow.
Then he heard screams in the distance and he scowled raising his sword.
"Time to finish this." He growled.
FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC
Back at Fanfiction May Cry Chibi collapsed to the ground face pale. The creature roared in delight as it snapped up her will Nukid was already slumped against the steps face down cast. David charged the creature swinging his shield sword but the creature caught the blow in it's teeth! Then it sucker punched David in the gut sending him crashing into the snow!
TSS and Ace opened fire with their guns but the rounds were more like a mosquito trying to bite you. It cackled before charging them and TSS's MP5 clicked empty.
"Shit! Cover!" He snarled diving out of the way.
Ace held her ground firing her 9mm and Skorpion sub machine gun. The monster shrugged off the hits and swatted the guns out of her hands. With nothing else for it Ace socked it in the eye and jumped back. The creature howled before charging her again. She tired to pull the same stunt but she was up against a wall. She reached for her .45 but there was no way she could get off a shot in time.
Suddenly two round struck the creature in the side! The rounds exploded and it howled in agony turning to face the newcomer. Ace looked to where the shots had come from.
"You know, you should really kill you enemies instead of incapacitating them." Ranger said pistols raised.
"You!?" It hissed in confusion and anger. "I sucked your will?!"
"Doesn't seem like that to me!" Ranger said before shooting again!
The creature rushed him trying to dodge the bullets. At the last second he side stepped and the creature crashed head first into a street lamp with a clang. It howled in pain before turning to face him.
"Come on. That all you've got?" Ranger asked putting away his pistols and drawing the Moon sword.
"Insolent punk!" It snarled before charging him again!
This time he jumped over it and slashed it across the back! The sword cut through the hardened flesh and it howled in pain!
Ranger landed a turned around and with a flourish sent specks of dark blood splattering into the snow.
"Bring it bitch! I'm just starting to have fun!" Ranger said this time charging in! The Creature roared and shot towards him! Ranger swung at it's head but the creature ducked him. Then it head butted him and knocked him to the ground. Then it lunged on him snarling it brought it'sfangs down on his right shoulder, this time for the kill!
Suddenly black symbols began to snake their way up the side of Ranger's neck and face and he grabbed the monster by the forehead. Ranger's eyes glowed blood red as he kicked the bitch off him.
She righted herself to see him on his feet. His skin was a granite grey. His hair had grown long, black, and unkempt. Out of his back, in the place of his green cloak he had two massive leathery grey wings. His hands were now long claws and dark energy seemed to radiate off him.
"What the hell?" She growled.
"Curse mark level two bitch. Now die." Ranger said raising his left fist.
"Shadow manipulation!" Ranger shouted before throwing his fist forward! Out of it shot a massive fist made out of dark energy! The monster screeched and turned to flee but was caught from behind and smashed against a wall!
Then as it rolled over to face him it got the moon sword in its gut. It coughed and spluttered globs of blood.
"Why did you just have to cause trouble at Christmas?" Ranger asked shaking his head.
"I'm a dick, what do you think?!" She snarled trying to bite him.
"No you're not a dick. I'm a dick."
"Really why thank…"
"YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" Ranger shouted before beheading the monster. Out of its decapitated trunk flowed dozens of silver grey specks oof light which began fluttering away towards whoever they belonged. Chibi and Nukid were soon back on their feet.
"What the hell just happened?" Chibi asked as Ranger landed disengaging his curse mark.
"Eh the usual. I kicked some cocksucker's ass." Ranger replied shrugging.
"What is it with you and swearing that much." Ace said shaking her head.
Ranger shrugged and hurled a grenade at the creature's corpse. It landed and exploded.
"You know they say…"
"Don't you dare say it." David groaned.
"Every time a grenade goes off."
"Please don't say it." Chibi groaned.
"An Arbiter gets his sword." Ranger finished.
Everyone glanced at eachother.
Two minutes later.
"Oh come on guys!" Ranger shouted as they others chased him around the block.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!