XVIII.
The Last of the Past
When I woke up the following day, I immediately met Ethan's eyes. He smiled when he saw my eyes flutter up and down to clear my head. I sat up and stretched. I noticed that the bed had several scratches and were broken in several places. This was the fifth bed that we had to buy for this month.
"Babe, I think we should really ease up. If we aren't careful, we'll buy every bed before they even make it," I told him as we laid there.
He smiled,"Then there is one solution: let's make our own bed."
"Yeah, sure, as if I have any knowledge about making things," I said, rolling my eyes as I stood up to prepare for another day.
The thing about Ethan was that he take everything so seriously. When he said that we should make a bed, he really mean it. We spent the whole day making our own bed out of titanium. I was not sure where he got that from but I guess he had connections with people that provide these kind of things.
As the sun was just starting to lower its self, I stretched and wiped the sweat off my neck. Nausea gripped my stomach again but I tried not letting him know. He turned his tools off and looked at me. I felt a bit dizzy and I knew I would start throwing up any minute now. I waited and when I felt the sick, I rushed out of the shed and to the nearest clump of trees.
"I think that's enough for one day. We're almost done anyways," he said softly. I did not say a thing but just nodded. What was wrong with me? Was my stomach acting upset because of the raw food that I have eaten yesterday? It can't be anesthesia. It should be wearing out by now, right? I tried to take hold of myself before straightening up and following him back to the house.
Once we stepped in, a knock in the front door echoed throughout the house. We exchanged a quick glance before Ethan cautiously approached the door. Our house was near the beach but there must be something about us that just drives people away. I had a feeling that it was because people were too scared to meet Ethan. It must be human instinct that screams at them to stay far far away from us. The knock must not be coming from a human. I waited, breathless as Ethan opened the door. Once I heard the friendly greeting and the familiar voice, I let out a breath in relief.
"Leah, how are you feeling?" Jacob said as he approached me in the living room. Ethan entered behind him.
"I'm good, now, Jake," I smiled. "When are we going to patrol the area again?"
"Leah, you need to rest," Jacob said stubbornly. I shot him a dirty look.
"I want to go, Jacob," I replied, answering just as stubborn.
"Leah, please," Ethan interfered, looking directly at me, pleading in his eyes. I could feel the effect of the imprint kicking in my veins once again.
"Fine," I hissed. Ethan tried not to smile but he could not help it. "So what are the others up to?" I asked Jacob. It was no use trying to reason out with them and with the imprint taking its effect, I will not be able to get my way so it was just better if I rub in how much I miss the others.
"Seth, Stephen, and Alex got into a fight this morning," he said unconcerned.
"Why?" I blinked.
"Because those idiots kept on teasing your brother about Lexi."
"What did they say?"
"They started to saying all these...wrong things to say, really."
I shook my heads. One of these days I'll get back to them for saying all of those dreadful things about Lexi. Since she was with Seth now, I consider her as my sister and those fools will be sorry that they ever said that. Silence drifted over us for a while. Suddenly, Ethan got up and went to the kitchen to fix Jacob something to eat, I guess.
Jacob stared after him for awhile before saying,"Your husband is really welcoming, Leah."
I smiled,"Yes, especially when our guest is you."
He laughed at the hint of sarcasm dripping on my voice. "That is why you love it so much when I come around, don't you?"
"Sure, Jake. Keep telling yourself that. I know we are such pleasant hosts but this must not be the main reason why you came here, right?"
"What, I can't come to your house just because I felt like it?"
"Well, you know how to let yourself out, then."
I enjoyed these sarcastic yet light exchange of words between Jake and me. I guess it really shows how comfortable we really are with each other. This would have never happened if I did not join his pack so long ago. I'm glad that I really did but I would never tell that to him. Jacob would never let me rest easy if he ever knew. Taunts and insults will perpetually be thrown at me for eternity. I did not like the sound of that. But in a way, I guess he was also glad that I became a part of his pack, though he's just too embarrassed to admit it.
"Nessie wants to come by later on to talk to you. I want you to sincerely apologize to her, all right?" he said clearly. He was all business now.
"Sure. Look, Jake, I'm sorry about that. I don't know what's gotten into me, I-" I apologized but he waved his hand to show that he did not care about my apologies.
"Leah, I just want you to be friends with her again. I mean, when you said those things, she was devastated. She was crying her eyes out and could not even announce to me that she was pregnant. I don't ever want to see her like that ever again, do you understand? It almost killed me seeing her that way. I wanted to hurt you so bad, did you know that?"
"Yeah, but the thing is I could always escape from you."
"I'm serious, Leah. I don't ever want you hurting her again. You're lucky that you're my Beta or else you would have gotten what you should have deserved," he growled. I flinched as if he shouted the words at me. I looked down at my hands. I wanted to say something smart but I knew he was too serious right now for any jokes. I nodded my head and bit my tongue to prevent myself from saying anything.
Ethan returned to the living room with a couple of plates of snacks. He served the food to Jacob who immediately started eating everything he could reach. I have never thought of how Ethan thought of me when I talked to Nessie like that. I knew it will be a while before Jacob could really forgive me. I needed to be careful with what I say from now on around him. But I can't escape the feeling that maybe Ethan did not think much of me like he used to.
Once Jacob was gone, I turned to Ethan, waiting for him to say something. He looked at me puzzled. I wish I could say something to explain what I have done but I myself don't know why I did it. I guess I was just so mad that time at Jacob and Ethan for telling me to rest. I guess I just got carried away.
"I'm sorry, Ethan," I said quietly.
"For what?"
"I know you must see me as...a cold, heartless person for telling those things to Nessie."
"Why would I think that way?"
I looked up uncertain at him. He was really sincere about it. "You do not think that I am...heartless?" It was an effort saying that word.
He shook his head,"No. I mean, you just went through too many struggles in your life and everyone should really give you a break. Don't get me wrong, though. I don't like it when you act that way but I know that you can only change a step at a time. Honestly, I blame Sam for your bitterness."
I laughed," You know it's not really his fault. I mean, we all did not want it to be that way. It just happened. You know as much as I do that he did not choose to imprint on Em."
"I know, but at the very least he should stop being such a hypocrite about who you imprint on. He has not talked to you in one year and did not even attend your wedding."
"Emily and Nicole were there, remember."
"Yeah, but not Sam. He made you go to their wedding when he clearly know that you were still in love with him. He even made you his bride's maid of honor."
"Ethan, it is not the groom who chooses their bride's maid of honor, it was Emily who chose me, remember."
"Well, he should have told Emily no. But then I am still grateful that he did not deny Emily what she wanted or else I would have the chance to never laid eyes on you at all."
I laughed again and let him wrap his arms around me. I rested my head on his marble chest while a smile curved my mouth. He told me honestly one night when he first saw me. I remembered it when he was telling me his point of view. I was too hurt to see Sam and Emily in their reception and needed to get out before they even noticed I was gone. Running away, as usual. I was afraid that someone saw my tears as I rushed out of the church and I was right. Jacob did see me cry but he never thought of it whenever we were in our wolf forms but he did confess it once when we were just hanging out in his house. The pain became too unbearable and I let the anger burning inside me out as I ripped the stupid dress to phase to a wolf. If I just turned and saw Ethan at that time, then maybe everything happened a bit too early. It would have complicated the whole situation even more. The phone rang and I let him go as he broke away to answer it. I don't know who it was but his eyes became wide with terror and his answers were quick and short. I only caught some words of it but the others were too fast for me to understand.
"I have to go," he said urgently. He tried to hide the horror in his face but his eyes were just burning with it. I could tell something was wrong.
"What's going on? Who was that?" I asked, the questions were just spilling out. "Is there something wrong?"
"Nothing, Leah. I just have to go, all right? Stay here. Nessie is going to be here soon and you would want to talk to her in private any ways," he smiled. He pecked my lips quickly but I grabbed his arm firmly.
"Where are you going?" I said friendly but my voice was as firm as my grip on his arm.
"I just have to take care of some errands for Carlisle. He needs help to get the equipment for Nessie's pregnancy."
"Why are you going with him? Can't the others go?" I asked. His reason seems good enough but these vampires are master liars. I don't want to be so naive to believe him right away.
"Yeah, Jasper is coming along."
I let him go. I guess what I saw in his eyes were just my imagination. Maybe it was just the trick of the light or maybe I was just too tired. I have been spending the whole day chopping metals for that bed we're creating. I sank down at the white couch as Ethan closed the door of the house. I slipped out of consciousness and fell asleep.
Hard, loud knocks echoed throughout the house. I woke up with a start. I looked over the digital watch flashing in the DVD player by the TV. I dozed off for at least half an hour. The sun had already set and I was plunged in darkness. I yawned widely as I made my way through the door, occassionally bumping a corner of a furniture. By the time I got to the door, I was rubbing different parts of my legs that was hit by some furniture. I opened the door. Jacob and Nessie were both staring intently at each other.
"If you guys are just going to stand there and stare at each other all night, please don't do it in front of my door. It really looks creepy and not to mention disgusting," I rolled my eyes, annoyed at the fact that they woke me up just to let me see them staring at each other.
"Delivery," Jacob cheerfully greeted as I stepped aside to let Nessie in.
"Hey Jacob, can I ask you something?" I asked as he turned to leave.
"You already did, but you can ask another one," he teased.
"Whatever. Look, Ethan went to the Cullens to help Carlisle with equipment for Nessie's pregnancy. Do you know anything about that?"
"Nessie's pregnancy? Shouldn't they ask me to help out too? I mean, that's my kid."
"I know. Don't you think this sounds suspicious?"
"Irritating too."
"Can you go back there and find out what's going on?"
"Yeah sure. I'm a little offended that they didn't even ask me for help."
"Oh, get over it, Jake. Just find out what's going on and talk to me when you pick up Nessie, all right?"
"Sheesh, you're so bossy."
"Don't you want to find out what's going on?"
"Yeah, but I'd rather hear it in a nice way. You act like you're the Alpha or something."
"Fine. Could you please find out what's going on for the benefit of your Beta?" I asked, rolling my eyes.
"Oh sure. We need to work on your attitude the next time, Leah," he said jokingly. I don't think I appreciated his sense of humor at the moment. I just want to find out what's going on in the Cullen house.
I turned to the youngest Cullen. She did not look pregnant but something about her really did change. She has that look of adoring that I saw when Sue found out that she was pregnant with Jeremy. Right then I really felt stupid and heartless. It's all right if she hate me for saying all those things to her. I really do deserve it. I mean, a person who has a heart would not say those things to someone who was pregnant and who they consider their closest friend. Gosh, there is so many wrong things about me.
Once I laid my eyes on Nessie, something strange happened. A strange, peaceful feeling accumulated in the gut of my stomach and spread out throughout my body. It felt like when I imprinted on Ethan but I still have a hold of myself. It seemed that she also felt the same when she looked at me but unlike me, she didn't keep the smile form in her lips.
"What are you smiling at?" I asked sourly. I don't think I could apologize to her when she shows friendliness. It makes me feel worse than I need to.
"I don't know, Leah. There's just something that tell me to smile at you," she replied sweetly like a child.
I couldn't help it and finally let myself smile. "I'm sorry for the things I've said, Renesmee. I don't know what was gotten into me, seriously."
"It's ok. I mean, it really hurt but I can't be mad at you forever."
"Thanks, Nessie."
We were left there, smiling like idiots. I don't know what's gotten to us both and I really did not want to question it any longer. I'm just glad that I had my bestfriend back and it looks like she's glad to have me back also.
I sat beside her. "So, what's going on with the vamps?"
"Nothing much. Emmet still can't get over my mom beating him in arm wrestling.":
"That's five years ago."
"Yeah, but the thing is vampires really remember things that long and hold grudges just as long."
When she said those words, Jane's face suddenly popped inside my head. I guess my brain automatically associated her words with that evil monster. I was sure that she was still not over losing Ethan to someone else, especially to a wolf.
"So, did he beat her yet?"
She shook her head and her ringlets bounced up and down against her small face. "No. I think my mom enjoys beating Emmet like that."
"Oh, poor Emmet," I said shaking my head and we burst out laughing. When I calmed down a bit, I asked,"Have he challenged you to an arm wrestling match yet?"
"No. No one in the family approves of that but Jacob takes my place whenever Emmet challenges me. In the end, it would always be a match between those two," she shook her head again and rolled her eyes.
"Who wins?"
"It's always a match. You would think no one's moving but they're both pushing as hard as they could."
"So how do someone win?"
"Well, it's becoming more of a 'Who can stand the other's odor longest' rather than an arm wrestling competition."
I laughed,"But they should all be used to each other's smell by now, right? Besides, Emmet does not have to breathe." My nose would often hurt when Ethan is around but I know in time that I would get used to it.
"Yeah, but whenever they're doing a match, Emmet has to breathe just to take away the advantage that he has so it would be a fair fight. I don't think Jake's used to our smell yet and whenever the pack is around, they would all hold they're breaths."
"Oh, wow. So much for not insulting us."
"I guess they should really try getting used to your smell. I mean, I am used to it."
"Yeah, but you're half human. I don't think we smell anything at all to humans."
"You stink a bit for me. Not body odor type like they smell but just a little stench."
"Thanks, that really meant assuring coming from someone who is not human."
She laughed lightly. "Hey, I'm just saying it as it is, like you always do."
"Should I take that as an insult or a compliment?"
"It's up to you."
I opened my mouth to say something but a look of wide terror reached her face as she saw something at my back. I turned around and in the kitchen of my house, preparing to launch herself was Jane coming to terrorize my life once again.