Ranger24: Here we go, part one of the epic finale. Please enjoy the asskicking.
Chapter 17: SHOWTIME!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Several nights later at some seedy bar near the edge of town. At the bar was a woman with tanned skin, black hair and brown eyes. She was wearing just a simple jacket and pants. But more to the point she was drinking shot after shot of whiskey.
"Bar tender, hit me again," she said setting her glass down on the bar.
The bar tender complied and set down another shot of whiskey in front of her which she promptly shot down.
"You might want to slow it down there missy," said a man walking over to her from a table.
She set the glass down along with her money.
"I'm out of here anyways," She replied simply to the man.
She made her way to the door and without looking back stepped outside into the night. Unpertebed the man followed her.
"It's not exactly safe for a lady like yourself to be wandering around this part of town this late at night." He said following her down the dark streets.
"Is it anywhere?" She asked rehtorically.
"Look no need to get defensive I'm just offering to walk you home," the man said strolling beside her as they passed under a low haning archway.
"It's your neck," she muttered.
Before he could reply he heard a rustling sound above him. He looked up and screamed before a large jagged blade was rammed into his chest shattering his rib cage and slicing up his organs. He was dead before he hit the ground as a large creature landed ontop of the mans corpse raising to strike the woman. She turned about and a white amulet around her neck flashed suddenly with a blue light! The creature wailed in agony as it was utterly vaporized by the light. The woman gazed upon the dead mans corpse and sighed.
"I warned you," she muttered before continuing into the night.
Unbeknowst to her Gollum slipped out of the shadows and snickered evilly.
FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC
The next morning at Fanfiction May Cry the office was a total mess. Empty coke cans litered Ranger's desk along with pizza boxes and candy wrappers. The trash can was full to the brim and still Ranger sat at his desk with his feet as usual propped up on his desk while reading a copy of Gun Informer. Stitch was sleeping on the couch curled up in a ball. Lilo meanwhile glared at Ranger as he took no interest in the huge mess that was his office.
"Are you ever going to clean this place up?" She demanded.
"Oh calm down," Ranger replied turning a page of his Magazine.
"Why should I? This place is a pigsty!" Lilo snapped.
"Because by tomorrow it's all going to be gone," Ranger replied.
"Because you're going to make me clean it!" Lilo growled.
"Maybe..." Ranger said casually.
"Well screw you!" Lilo said grabbing the mop and throwing it at him before running out of the shop just as TSS came in. The Vampire Laison took one look at Lilo who was promptly followed out by Stitch, then he looked at Ranger who was looking really cross seeing as how he had a mop on his face.
"I take it you just lost your free cleaning service?" TSS asked.
Ranger muttered a curse before sitting up.
"What's the call TSS?" He asked gruffly.
"Well for once I've got a job that's going to pay well for ya'," TSS answered.
"How much is it paying?" Ranger asked.
"Triple the usual amount," TSS replied.
Ranger raised an eyebrow in suprise. "Your joking right?"
"Nope," TSS replied as the door opened again and in stepped the woman from earlier in the chapter. Ranger moved from his desk as she sat down at the couch, he sat down across from her frowning.
"So what's the job?" Ranger asked.
The woman set the white amulet on the table and looked up at him.
"This, I need you to watch this for me for a couple of days. It's a very valuable family heirloom," She answered.
Ranger stared at the amulet and smiled sheepishly at her.
"Yeah I kinda have a bad track record with amulets..."
FLASHBACK!!!
Several years ago... As In still not written FMC 3: Ranger's Awakening...
Shade and Ranger stood a top a massive tower in the midst of the city! Shade knocked Ranger's sword out of his hands and then stabbed him with Soul Eater in the stomach! Ranger clutched at the sword for a second before Shade yanked it out and he fell to the stone floor.
"OW!! Shade what the hell man?" Ranger demanded.
"It's called a running gag Ranger, from now on in every fic you write your going to be impailed on something," Shade replied smoothly catching Ranger's falling sword.
Ranger struggled to push himself off the ground. "Bull shi..."
Before he could finish his sentence Shade had impailed him again, this time on his own sword.
END FLASHBACK!!!
Ranger glanced up to see the woman leaving and the amulet still on the table.
"Wait what just happened?" Ranger asked quickly.
"While you were flashbacking the two of us closed the deal. Congrats Ranger your stuck with another amulet," TSS answered before slapping Ranger on the back.
Ranger glared at him.
"You know TSS? Sometimes I really fucking hate you."
FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC
Later at pop's diner, Ranger sat at a booth running the amulet through his fingers.
"Hey Ranger where's my money?" Ace suddenly said coming up and snatching the amulet from his hands.
"Potentially, right there," Ranger muttered.
Ace frowned examining the Amulet. "Why does this whole mess seem familar... Oh yeah."
FLASHBACK!!!
Several years ago... Again As In still not written FMC 3: Ranger's Awakening...
Ace sat on a rock atop the tower reloading one of her many hand guns.
Suddenly cold laughter filled the air and she shot to her feet raising her weapon.
"What are you doing here little lady?" A voice said as the laughter ended. "Your up quiet a pit past your bed time my dear."
She turned about to see a man with pale skin and long black hair... And eye shadow.
"Oh well look who it is," he said smirking.
Ace glared at him and raised her gun to shoot him.
"Oh come now my dear, you'd shoot an old friend?" He asked.
"You're not a friend," Ace growled before opening fire.
The man moved with blinding speed, in the blink of an eye he had Ace by the arm.
"You really should learn to respect your elders!" He said before actually flinging Ace off the tower! Ace fired her pistol again but only suceed in scratching his cheek with one of the bullets! He glanced at the cut feeling the blood drip onto his fingers.
Far below Ranger walked out onto a ledge on the outer side of the tower and glanced up at the sky. A look of suprise crossed his face. He threw out his hand just in time to catch Ace by the leg before she could plummeted to her death.
"Holy shit, I've heard of it raining cats and dogs, even men! But women? That's a new one by me." He said in a bemused tone.
Ace glared at him and pointed her pistol at his face.
"Let me go you pervert!" She snapped.
Ranger scoffed. "So what you can fall to your..."
Before he could finish his sentence Ace shot him... In the head.
END FLASHBACK!!!
"Hey Ranger think fast!" Ace said tossing Ranger back the amulet before strolling out of the diner.
Ranger sighed and slumped his head against the table.
"Why is it all of these flashbacks involve me getting hurt?" He asked to no one in particular.
FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC
Later that evening the woman who had dropped off the pendant sat in a hotel room watching the sunset with a worried look on her face.
"You shouldn't be afriad miss Pelklia," said a male voice.
She turned to the black man who stood by the door. He wore a black coat, black sunglasses, and was bald.
"Why? Because the man you suggested I hire is better at fighting than he looks?" She asked.
"No because Barrack Obama is president, CHANGE BABY CHANGE!" He shouted as the woman had a sweat drop.
FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC
Meanwhile Ranger was making his way back to Fanfiction May Cry, the streets were mostly deserted due to people either having dinner or it just being late enough for them to call it a night.
As the sun set however an uneasy feeling began to settle on Ranger, as though unseen eyes were watching him. Cautiously he flicked off Sol and Luna's safties. He was only a few blocks away from Fanfiction May Cry now.
Suddenly he heard a hiss and he dove out of the way just in time to avoid losing his head to a large creature with patchy fur like skin. It stared at him with large black eyes confused.
"What? You're not the normal keeper of the Amulet?" It exclaimed.
"See this is why I hate amulets," Ranger muttered before blasting the creature in the face with Sol and Luna. It howled in agony as blood sprayed from its face and beady eyes! It rushed up the side of the nearest building but Ranger kept firing at it with Luna while unzipping the guitar case and drawing Ddraig s Cual!
He ran up the nearest fire escape and then jumped at the creature sword raised! He rammed in right through the creature and it in turn crashed through the side of the building!
Less than a block away Lilo and Stitch heard the crash and turned to source of the noise. Lilo sighed.
"Oh great, Ranger's killing stuff instead of cleaning the shop!" Lilo groaned.
Meanwhile Ranger and the creature came to a halt the monster was wedged against an alley wall with Ddraig s Cual stuck in it's chest. Ranger stood up, dusted himself off, and reloaded Luna before turning to face the creature again.
"Where is she..." It grugled as blood dripped out it's mouth. "Where is the woman?"
"I have no idea what you talking about," Ranger replied cocking Luna. "But I think it's time you took a dirt nap big guy."
The Creature screamed before Ranger unload Luna's entire magazine into it. When he was finished he stepped out into the street covered in stray fleks of blood.
"Oh my god! Are you alright?!" Came a voice.
Ranger glanced down the street to see the woman from before apporaching with the man in black. Ranger sighed and swung Ddriag s Caul over his shoulder.
"Well if you consider I just got attacked by some freak who was looking for you and brutally murdered him okay, then yes." Ranger replied dryly. He glanced at the man with her and frowned.
"Who's the suit?"
"This is my bodyguard, Agent Bubbles." She replied.
"Please, call me Cobra," He muttered.
"And my name Lewoh," she added.
"Okay," Ranger replied raising an eyebrow.
"I'm sorry we didn't warn you earlier about the fact that that amulet draws monsters towards its owner, it's put you in more danger than I'd like." The woman continued.
"Hey Ranger what the heck is going on here?" Lilo said suddenly as she and Stitch came around the corner behind Ranger. When she saw the woman however she stopped dead in her tracks eyes going wide.
"Mother?" She whispered.
The woman instantly turned and ran into the darkness.
"I'll come by your shop tomorrow and give you the money!" She shouted over her shoulder.
"Mother!" Lilo called after her but she was already gone.
"Mother?" Ranger muttered glancing between Lilo and the place where the woman had been standing. He sighed. "Oh great more headaches for me."
He glanced at Lilo who was staring into the darkness to where her mother had vanished. "Lilo, head on back to the shop I'll meet you there."
"But," Lilo started to say but Ranger cut her off.
"Now missy."
Lilo gave an indignant huff and stalked away.
Ranger than turned to Cobra. "You know anything about that?"
Cobra removed his sun glasses and whiped them off with a rag from his pocket. "Miss Pleklia did have a daughter some years ago. Do to the risks involved with the amulet she didn't want the child to be used against her."
"As bait you mean?" Ranger asked.
"Exactly," Cobra answered.
"So what exactly does the amulet do?" Ranger asked.
"That's confidential. In you line of work I believe it's best not to ask to many questions to the one who's paying you the cash." Cobra said coolly.
Ranger sighed picking up his guitar case and replaceing Ddraig s Caul. "Fine, but there had better be plenty of cash for putting up with all of this bullshit."
Then he turned and walked off into the darkness.
Behind him Cobra smriked drawing out a large knife and walking over to dead creatures corpse.
"Yes you will be paid," he said raising his knife. "Twilight fool."
Then he plunged his knife into the creatures neck and began to remove it's head.
FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC
The next afternoon at Fanfiction May Cry Ranger was once again sitting at his desk with his feet propped up on the hard wood surface which was still covered in junk. Lilo was playing pool with Stitch while TSS sipped as usual, from a wine glass of blood.
"Seriously dude I think you need to go easier on that stuff." Ranger said to TSS.
"Hey with all of the blood I've drunk this fic I'll be good for a couple weeks," TSS replied cheerily.
"When is she going to get her?" Lilo asked in an anxious tone.
"Look Lilo just calm down okay," Ranger said slipping his eye lids shut. "I'm sure she's only taking her time to do something with her nails or whatever."
Ranger got a mop thrown at his face for that, and his chair fell over. Lilo promptly snatched the amulet off the desk and ran out the door followed by Stitch.
"Sonova bitch!" Ranger snarled pushing himself to his feet.
"Oh calm down, like you didn't see that coming?" TSS asked.
Ranger sighed, "True, knowing how much crap I'll have to put up with in these fics."
FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC
Meanwhile at the hotel where Lewoh was staying for some reason she woke up to find herself tied to a chair. There was Pentical drawn on the floor with strange smybols and runes drawn in a circle around the star. At each point of the pentical was an object. The claws of the beast Ranger slew in chapter eight, mask of the beast from chapter twelve, Al Gore's fangs as man bear pig, and the swords of Ferus and Docen.
"What's going on?" She muttered trying to see anything in the dim light.
"Why it's my plan coming to fruition," said a calm and yet cold voice from behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see Cobra Bubbles extracating himself from the darkness.
"Bubbles? What are you doing?" She demanded.
Cobra laughed sinisterly. Lewoh's eyes widened in alarm.
"You're not Bubbles. Who are you!?" She demanded.
"It's time for me to reveal myself then," Cobra replied grabbing at the side of his face. He pulled and the skin ripped off along with the clothes to reveal Gollum standing there snickering. "And my true voice thanks to 4kids TV!" Gollum proclaimer in a voice that sounded like a crack addicted lephrecaun!
"Wait 4kids!" Lewoh exclaimed in alarm!
"Yes!" Gollum cackled. "You see my dear once I set everything up to destory the barrier protecting this site known as 4kids will be able to enter and censor every single fanfiction here on this pathetic site!"
"You can't cernsor the internet." Lewoh objected.
"Ah that's where you're wrong, you see censoring isn't enough." Gollum said waving a finger at her. "You see the internet is so full of trash that is corrupting the youth of tomorrow and making them think they can actually do something with their lives and prepare them for the real world! Once we've censored not only Fanfiction; but Deviantart, Youtube, Yahoo, fanart central, , Dubhappy, Vehoo, Hulu, and megavideo the world will be ours! Thus 4kids can brainwash the youth of today and tomorrow into being as blank and one dimesional as the cast of Yugioh!"
"You bastards!" Lewoh shouted.
"Save your breath missy, 4kids isn't ready to be summoned yet. I just need two more peices to this puzzle for 4kids to rule the world." Gollum proclaimed.
"And those would be?" Lewoh asked confused.
"First we need the the amulet you carried around for so long, the Pen of Xing Li." Gollum admitted.
"The amulet of the man who created !" Lewoh said alarmed.
"Yes, if I break it's power of giving people the power to write whatever they want in fanfics without fear of being censored as long as they meet the very low standards of the site, 4kids can enter and destroy this site." Gollum explained.
"But Xing Li was smart and put a second seal, this one requireing that an author with atleast one hundred reviews be placed in the gate way between 4kids and the internet. Those authors are normally very powerfull and have some dignity not to right utter bullshit fanfics." Gollum finished.
"Ranger," Lewoh whispered.
Gollum nodded egarly. "Yes the twilight fool was very help full in my task he gathered me up artefacts with enough power to break Xing Li's Pen. Now I need only wait for him to arrive to try and rescue you and I can be victorious."
"Umm... Question." Lewoh said.
"Yes?" Gollum replied.
"How is he supposed to know to come save me, you didn't exactly leave a ransom note or something, hell he probably doesn't even know were this hotel is." Lewoh said.
Gollum stood there for a moment silent before he groaned. "Shucks."
FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC
Meanwhile in the lobby Lilo slipped inside behind a cart of luggage with Stitch close behind her.
"Good thing I stole the hotel address from TSS's pocket," Lilo muttered as she and Stitch ran for the elevator.
Meanwhile at Fanfiction May Cry...
"My god were the hell is she?" Ranger groaned.
"Hey Ranger have you noticed that Lilo took the amulet and ran off without saying anything to either of us?" TSS asked.
Ranger stared at his vampire laison for a moment before he groaned.
"Oh fuck me."
Seconds later TSS's warthog was roaring down the streets with Ranger in passenger seat holding on for dear life as TSS ripped around tight corners.
"Christ man! I know it's really fucking bad but can you not drive like this is wheel man?" Ranger demanded as they nearly crashed into a fire hydrant.
"Greased lightning!" TSS proclaimed.
Meanwhile back at the hotel Lilo opened a door to find a very odd sight involving the guy who was playing highstakes chess on the Casino ship in chapter fourteen with the two chicks who were wearing the bunny suit's tangled together on the bed covered in sweat. Lilo had an anime sweat drop while Stitch pulled out his phone and took a quick picture.
"Sorry wrong room!" Lilo said embaressed.
"Oh yeah, the room you wants at the end of the hall," the highly bishonen Rich guy said motioning to the other side of the corridor.
"Thanks," Lilo said before closing the door quickly and running down the hall with Stitch face still red.
They opened the door to find Gollum standing beside Lewoh with a knife to her throat.
"Mother!" Lilo cried out in both joy and fear.
"Lilo run!" She said eyes darting between Gollum and the door.
Tears filled Lilo's eyes. "You really, are my mom aren't you."
"Hate to interuppt this touching reunion," Gollum hissed pressing his knife against Lewoh's throat. "But unless you have the amulet she dies."
Lilo gulped and pulled out the amulet.
"Lilo don't give it to him, run!" Lewoh screamed before Gollum clampedone of his thin fingered hands around her lips. "You should hush up now."
He gestured his knife to the center of the pentical. "Place the amulet there girl!"
Lilo slowly walked towards the center of the pentical's center while Stitch growled intimidatingly at Gollum. Then when she reached the center she placed the amulet on the floor and backed away.
"My mother?" She asked hoping Gollum wouldn't do what she was afriad of.
Gollum smirked and slashed the ropes holding Lewoh in place before kicking the chair over and dropping his knife forming handsigns.
"Mom!" Lilo shouted running over to his mother.
"Christ kid can you not cause the end of the world for five minutes?" Ranger asked suddenly as he rushed in the room followed by TSS. Ranger drew out Ddraig s Caul glaring at Gollum.
"You!" He shouted.
"Yes! But you're to late to stop me now!" Gollum shouted as beams of light shot from the five groups of objects and then collided with the amulet! The runes and symbols on the ground glowed wickedly and Gollum laughed as the amulet finally shattered! A strange blue vortex opened up in the floor and Gollum chackled.
"Fear the mighty power of 4kids!" He screeched before diving into the vortex.
Ranger muttered a curse.
"TSS get everyone out of the building!" He shouted running forward and diving into the vortex
"Ranger!" Lilo cried out but he was gone!
TSS grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her and her mother to their feet. "Come on we've got to get the hell out of here!"
The run back to the lobby was a blur for Lilo as they rushed down stairs with TSS and Stitch banging on every door they ran passed and yelling for people to flee.
By the time they were in the Lobby TSS and Stitch had gathered a large crowd of guests. The Desk man frowned at the vampire. "Excuse me sir but what the hell are you doing, is there a problem?" He demanded.
TSS grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt.
"There's an a problem alright! There's and apocolypse on the top floor and your elevator's aren't working!" TSS snapped.
Suddenly the entire building shook and the lights flickered ominously!
"Everyone outside now!" TSS shouted before leading the charge out side into the now present night.
There came a loud boom and a roar and everyone turned to stare at the hotel. The top floor was glowing an erie blue. Lewoh fell to her knees.
"It's over, 4kids has come!" She whipsered horrified.
"I'm sure Ranger can handle it," Lilo said brushing off her mothers worry.
FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC
Elsewhere in some dark place where only a dim grey light filled the emptiness a single sword could be seen, Ddraig s Caul. Blood ran down it's blade and onto it's hilt from what it had been stabbed through.
And there was Ranger, impailed upon his own sword to a crucifix. His face pale, his eyes closed, and blood dripping down has hair onto his face...