AN: For those who reviewed, thank you so much for your time! It makes me terribly grateful. For the rest of you, consider the number of stories in fanfiction. Millions, yes. And consider how out of those millions, only a few people read each story. Your input matters more than I or anyone can fathom!
As Dane struggled for breath, Zeus plunged on, unaware of a certain slave boy's shock, "Already, I plan to bring my dear son to the sea, where we may catch a few sea nymphs." The crowd struggled to maintain cool exteriors. Zeus managed to do a lot more with sea nymphs than just catch them.
Hera seemed to be thinking the same thing. "I forbid you to go," she said coldly. "Our son must be kept safe on Mount Olympus. It is too soon to expose him to humans."
Zeus chuckled at the idea of a woman forbidding him to do anything. "So that may be true," he admitted. "Then I shall go myself. Poseidon has many issues to discuss…I being the god of all gods! And since the day will still be young, I can walk the forests or travel the towns, disguised of course."
Hera looked like she had been slapped in the face. As the silence prolonged, the crowd dispersed, believing that the speech was over and gorged themselves upon their 'feast.' Dane crept up toward Hera and Zeus, trying to listen.
Hera's face paled deathly white, "Do you think me a fool?" she hissed.
Zeus cast a benign look at his wife and took the baby back from her. "When you're in that mood, you're capable of anything. Like squeezing our child to death."
She took a step forward. "Our child? You dare think I have no idea of your doings?" she murmured. "Gallivanting off into unknown lands, wooing silly girls who don't know any better, and cranking out babies like Hephaestus cranks out lightning bolts. If you left…" she feigned a yawn. "I might be generous and present your dear son to your brother Hades as a gift. Who wouldn't want a monster from Zeus?"
Dane sucked in his breath, but no one heard. Zeus's hands balled up into fists. "Jealous, spiteful sister!" he thundered. "I've heard of your treachery. My poor, beautiful Leto. How dare you forbid her to give birth? And Io, a woman's whose face was like cut china?"
"Alas you call for wives that are not yours!" she spat.
Zeus rose up to his full height, and his eyes sparked. "Hera, face yourself. You are an old and miserable maid, who only wishes to seek others' misfortune. Your mirror shows a hag. Shall I be chained to you?"
Dane nearly reeled. This was worse than any argument he had seen in the market square. Worse than when his sister Vanni screamed herself hoarse at the egg-woman over cracked merchandise. And the worst of it was that this was between a god and a goddess.
Bracing himself for lightning bolts, he walked up to them with trembling legs and squeaked, "Aphro-Aphrodite!"
Zeus and Hera stopped their fuming and gazed upon him with surprise.
Dane's mouth was dry, but it went positively parched when he saw Hera's eyes linger on his. Eyes like polished jade. Skin as smooth as varnish.
"What?" asked Zeus, impatiently. "Aphrodite is not here."
"My mistake. I was sure she was," he said apologetically, nodding in Hera's direction. Gawking at her as if he had never met her before, he said, "Forgive me, Zeus, but I must have mistaken your wife as the most beautiful. She is your wife, right?"
Hera struggled to hide her smile, but Zeus puffed out in pride. "That's right. Finest lady on all of Mount Olympus. Every man wanted her for herself, but of course, she deserved the god of gods."
"Naturally," he agreed, wondering how if all gods were this flighty.
"But Aphrodite," said Zeus, reverting back to his old manner, "she is of immense perfection. Shall I call her for you?" Before Dane could answer, he shouted, "I summon Aphrodite!"
So he was forced to stay where he was, staring at his feet, when all he wanted was to hide from view. What would happen if the gods found out he was a human? Perhaps they'd make him the sacrifice. Even mutton must bore them.
Suddenly, the halls grew quiet. At first, Dane thought he had been found out. But when he turned around, he saw the most exquisite woman glide up to where they stood, and all the other gods and goddesses stood silent in her glory.
He wanted desperately to turn away. He could feel Hera watching him carefully as his cheeks began to glow.
"Zeus, you called me?" she asked.
"Take a good, long look," Zeus told Dane. "Who is the fairer? She or Hera?"
Dane didn't even have time to stiffen, for Aphrodite's eyes snapped onto him. She burst into laughter. "My dear…Zeus, how funny!" she choked. "Look at him! A beanstalk with peach fuzz hair! How can you ask a simpleton to judge between us?" She bent down and pinched him hard on the cheek. "Skinny, and his face burnt to a crisp. Say, love, who are you? Last I heard, there are only twelve gods and goddesses, with Poseidon busy stirring up storms and Hades brooding below. What does that make you?"
Dane glared at her, wanting to hit her as hard as possible. He made a mental note to remind his sister never to worship Aphrodite, regardless of her affections to the blacksmith's son.
Hera answered for him, "He's a child of Dionysus."
"Really?" said Zeus mildly. "That makes another grandson! Good god, I am losing track of them. Dionysus! Come over here!"
"No!" gasped Dane, but it was too late. The order was given. He saw Hera glance at him with a trace of concern. It took all his nerve to stay in place, but out of the crowd came his master, looking quite familiar with a goblet of wine in his hand.
He tried to shuffle behind Aphrodite's voluminous hair, but Zeus's hand clapped onto his shoulder pinned him to the ground. What would Dionysus think? It had never occurred to him that his master was good and kind until now. He had trusted him.
Dionysus made his way up, smiling at Zeus in congratulations. Suddenly, his eyes turned to his slave boy. "Dane?" he gasped.
Gods, he prayed, just eat me now.
AN: Huzzah! Another chapter! Next one I'm planning to incorporate a teaspoon of drama. Perhaps it's best if the gods chomp up poor Dane's bones after all. Please review! And extra thanks to the two who did!