XXIV.
Reality is Nightmare
"I can't possibly be a vampire. I mean, I don't want to murder people. Especially not people I care about," I was trembling hard on the ground. RJ scooped me up into his arms. I felt like a child being carried by a parent. His warmth calmed me down a bit. He was whispering words of comfort which really helped. I closed my eyes when I realized he was walking. I let him carry me wherever, my eyes still closed. His scent washed over me and the strange desire had ceased. I wanted to be in his arms like this forever.
He must have entered the house. I smelled the scent of the others. I caught a whiff of Renee's scent and automatically my muscles tensed and the bitter taste mixed with my saliva but that automatically stopped. RJ's scent seem to wash over me like fresh air. It blocked out every other scent and I was relieved. I focused my extra-strong nose on his smell and everything changed at once.
"That's right," he whispered. "Just focuse on me." He entered the living room where everyone was and I heard panic voices at the sight of me apparently unconscious in RJ's arms.
"What happened?" she asked urgent and frantic.
"She's all right. Can I talk to Carlisle first?"
"What's wrong with her?" I heard Renee ask. No, please don't let her come any closer. RJ shook her head to Renee.
"She was just tired."
"She wasn't mad at me or anything?" she asked a bit weary.
"No. She was just tired that's why I had to drag her out. She'll be fine. I just need Carlisle to check over her."
"Yes, I suppose you're right."
They carried me to the second floor where Carlisle's office must have been. I could smell his wisdom all over but I realized they weren't alone. Edward and Ethan must have came with them. I could smell RJ's and Edward's communication with each other. Ethan's scent was a little clouded.
"Set her down, RJ. I'm sure she's awake," I heard Carlisle said. I felt my body lowering until something soft touched my back. Then I was settled there. I opened my eyes, having RJ's comforting scent cut off from me, and sat up. Carlisle, Edward, Ethan, and RJ were all looking at me with dark faces.
"This was what we've been afraid of. You have a strong amount of vampire blood in you. I thought they would cancel each other but it seems it took a synergistic effect, amplifying each other's effects," Carlisle said wearily.
Ethan looked as if he wanted to break something. "I-I'm sorry, Andrea. I don't..I-I didn't realize...I'm sorry."
I shook my head. "I'm not blaming you. I don't think I'll ever blame you, Ethan. But what are we going to do?"
"We need to find a way to make the wolf in you more prominent without doubling the vampire part," Edward theorized.
Carlisle agreed. "It's better if we let that responsibility that wolves have in protecting humans be dominant. In that way we could use that to control the thirst. In case, I want you to follow our diet."
"What, you mean drink animal blood?" I asked, disgust in my voice.
"You will smell them and they will smell delicious to you but we can't cut out your sense of smell. We'll need every help we could get. If you hunt like we do, we could build that up. It will be easier for you than a newborn but just barely."
I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to get away for a little bit. "Could I get away for a while?" RJ looked like he was about to disagree but he didn't say anything. They let me step out and I headed down the stairs, avoiding the living room and exiting out of the back door.
The fresh smell was something that calmed me down besides RJ's scent. The others have left me alone. Of course they would worry but they didn't say anything. I figured they would just let me be. I looked up as I saw Charlie, Sue, and Renee troop out of the house. I caught their scent and the same reaction I had been having the whole day but then I let the fresh air wash over me. It helped but just barely. I concentrated on the memory of RJ's scent. I could almost smell him as if he was there with me.
The night had been getting later and later. Mosquitos have started pestering me but they didn't got anywhere near my flesh. I knew they sensed my blood as poison to them. I stared blankly ahead in the distance without really seeing anything despite I could see every detail because of my unnaturally good eye. The light from the big house pooled on the ground. A shadow disturbed that light and I smelled who it was before I heard his footsteps.
"How do you control it?" I asked Ethan as he settled down beside me without glancing up at him.
"Control what?"
"The thirst. You've been a vegetarian vampire for a while now. How do you do it?" I asked tearing my gaze from the darkness and looking at my father.
He glanced away from me and stared at the spot where I was looking without really saying it. "It's not easy, Andrea. You must first understand that. It is hard for me even today."
"But you can control it."
"Yes, I can."
"Will you tell me everything? I want to know."
"What do you mean? I thought you only want to know how I control it?
I shook my head. "Now that I'm asking you questions, I might as well ask everything that I want to know about you."
He sighed, I understood his mysterious scent now. He was weary-always weary. "I suppose I should start from the beginning. It was the 1914. I was exactly eighteen years old then and the Great War blazed around the start of my adulthood. The world seem to be focused on this war. Edward was excited about it; wanting to obtain that soldier's glory. I was the opposite. I hated that war and I dreaded becoming a part of it. But I had no choice. They were drafting young men already and I was the first ones in the city of New York to be drafted. For everyday that the war lasted, I feared for my life. I have made friends but none of them have survived. I hated the grief and the fear. I saw young men-younger than me, being killed in front of my very eyes. I didn't want to take another's life either. How ironic, really.
"When the war ended, I came home bloody and shaken up but alive, nonetheless. My parents were nothing but proud of me, feeling that I have uplifted the family name, but I resented all of it. I resented how they would brag about me to the neighbors. Their sons also came to war but most of them didn't survive. Where's the glory in that?
"Since they were so proud, my parents decided that they should send me to a prestigious college-Notre Dame. They even arranged my marriage to a woman that I barely know. Her name was Aileen Hamilton. She was beautiful. When we were young, she was my childhood friend but I haven't seen her for almost fifteen years. My parents and her parents thought that the friendship should develop into romance and they told us to get married."
"Did you love her?" I asked. I couldn't help it. If he loved this woman, was it the same love he has for my mother.
"No. She changed in the period that I did not see her. She became vain; ten times more vain that Rose. But my parents wanted me to marry her and I didn't even complain. I would have married her if Jane did not find me before I even walked to the altar.
"I was walking at night, letting the clear air calm me down. Despite the fact that I did not want to marry Aileen, I wanted to be the best husband out of respect for my parents and this pressured me. I needed to clear my head. I heard a rustled behind and saw this beautiful child. I guessed that she was no older than thirteen and her beauty took my breath away. Looking back, I realized that she dimmed Aileen's breathtaking beauty. I was plagued with questions about her. She seem lost and I wanted to assist her. I hoped with all of my heart that my offspring was as beautiful as she was."
His words were like arrows aimed at my heart. I wonder if I fulfilled his desire to have a child as beautiful as this girl was. He didn't seem to be bothered about my silence and continued on. "I asked her her name. It was Jane. Her voice wrapped around the name like a blanket. It astounded me how much wisdom was in that voice. She asked me to help her parents and with pity for this child, I did. We were in a secluded part of the road when she turned me into a vampire.
"The transformation was excruciating. It seems so far away but it was one of the earliest memories I have as a vampire. Jane was supposed to kill me but at that time, a car had sped by which forced her to fled. She thought I was already dead but she was wrong. She left me grasping for breath at the side of the road. When I woke up, I felt something changed-well just not something but everything changed. I became a vampire. I resented what I have become and I fled. I found out that Aileen died a few years later when she was twenty-five. When I did not show up for our wedding, she quickly looked for the next veteran of the Great War. She married John Johnson but he abused her and that soon led to her death. My parents died a couple of years later. I attended their funeral but didn't show myself to my relatives. They thought I had gone mad and decided that I was better considered dead. They dug out an empty grave and told others that was where I was buried. They told others that I came back a year before my parents died and I got sick along them though I got it worst and died before them. This silenced all the whispering and rumors. I guess that was for the best I never did like those rich snobs. I fled from the place that I have considerd my home. I became restless.
"For years, I have traveled around the world looking for peace. I have traveled throughout all of the continents. The legends of different tribes all over the world were something that happened because of me, I must admit. I hunted humans and my eyes were red with the blood of my preys. Without anything else to do, I searched for Jane. I found out that she was one of the guards of the Volturi. I went to her, wanting to kill her for giving me this life. She brainwashed me. She told me that I should actually be glad that she turned me. I will be immortal forever, no bullet nor blade can take my life.
"The guards have their own guards under them doing their own dirty bidding. I was Jane's favorite and for forty years, I have been following her blindly, killing for her, hunting for her. I didn't regret it until I finally saw what she had turned me into-what she was. She confessed her love for me but I did not return the feeling. When we confronted the Cullens years ago, I was cast away. I denied her love and Aro didn't want any conflict inside his clan. He told me to leave. I was intrigued by the Cullens and I tried hunting animals only. Soon I craved for human blood. That was when I saw your mother and what she was. I guess what she was helped me the most. She protected humans and I don't want to be the one who made things hard for her. She was already in enough pain. That's how I could control my thirst."
His voice ended solemnly. I wanted to know something but I wasn't sure it was the appropriate time right now. "Did I fulfill your wish?" I asked before I could even stop it.
He bent his head a bit to the right, curios at what I have said. "What wish?"
"Well, when you said that you wanted your child to be as beautiful as Jane, did I disappoint you?" I asked. If I was completely human, I would have blushed madly. "I shouldn't have asked. It's a stupid thing to ask. You don't have to answer," I added quickly but he smiled. His weariness seem to be gone. His scent of bitterness was gone too. He was happy.
"You did." I looked down hurt but he cupped my chin with his thumb and forefinger and made me look at him. "I was disappointed because I realized that I have wished for the wrong thing. I don't think you're as beautiful as Jane but you dimmed her beauty by a thousand times. I'm glad that your beauty isn't in the same level as she. I don't want you close to her in any way."
"Aren't you a sweet talker?" I asked him, letting his hand drop from my chin. "Was that how you caught my mother's eye?"
He laughed. "I'd like to think so. It wouldn't be bad at all. Come on. Let's go inside now. I don't feel you're safe when you're outside like this." He stood up and held his hand out for me. I took it. It was nice talking to my father. I guess I could tell that he really was happy but I could also sense the hurt. Leah still hadn't talked to him. All day, I catch her risking a glance at Ethan but she never says anything. I know she loves him with all of her heart but she's too stubborn and hard-headed to finally fix things up with him.
Once we were inside the house, something hard hit me with full force. Bella was standing over me, her hands balled in a tight fist. I could feel the head spinning round and round while the colors began to get distorted. Pain shot from the side of my head where her marble fist made contact. It made me crumble down to my knees.
"How dare you?! How dare you desire my mother's blood?!" she was screaming hysterically at me. All of her gentleness and goodness were gone to be replaced by deep, scorching, anger. She was poising to hit me with another hard punch.
"Bella, no!" I heard Jacob say as he tried to pull her away from me like everybody else.
"She didn't mean to!" RJ pleaded, shielding me from the mad vampire.
"The hell she did!"
I could hear her struggling to get closer to me once again while the others blocked her way.
"Get out of my way or I'll punch you too, Jake!"
"Bella! Stop it!"
I waved RJ off but I don't think he saw the gesture. I tried to stand up, my legs were shaking under my weight. I could feel blood dripping down my side but there was no sting. There must not be any wound. Then where did the blood come from? My eyes started focusing once more. I saw a weird mist cloak itself around everyone including myself. Immediately we all felt calmer. What was that?
"Thank you, Jasper," Carlisle said as he guided Bella to the couch. Bella seem to be arguing with herself whether to be calm or continue murdering me. She seem to have calmed down and was allowing herself to be led by Carlisle, though a murderous glare still lingered on me. I tore my gaze away from her to Jasper. I didn't know he could control moods.
"Bella, she didn't mean it. There are just some blood that are strong to vampires like mine when I first smelled you," Edward explained patiently, a weird out-of-focus look on his face or was it amused?
Bella snarled. "I don't care. Don't you get anywhere near my mother, do you understand?"
I couldn't help but to nod. I understood where she was coming from and I seem to shrink, becoming smaller and smaller under her murderous gaze. RJ wiped the blood in my face, a look of pure horror in his face. He leaned his head to the side when he realized that there was no more wound, curiosity thickening the air around him.
"Huh. Look's like wolves heal easy," he whispered softly as he wiped the blood some more. "But I thought you wouldn't even wound since you're partly vampire. Weird."
Alice gasped and we all focused on her. She was staring blankly ahead. I looked around the others, puzzled. It seems that Nicole, Sean, and Liv were all clueless on what was going on but the others were focusing on her intently, weary replacing whatever emotion they had just moments before. RJ grasped my hand and I understood right away. She was seeing whatever it was in the future.
There were shadows all over a familiar forest just a few miles from the Reservation. The Cullens were fighting the shadows that surrounded them. I could only catch glimpses of what they were doing since they were moving with inhuman speed. Unlike the shadows, a small boy was clear, standing in the distance. I could see him direct the shadows in attacking the Cullens. He then disappeared and sheer terror ran through RJ's thoughts. Moments later, he lifted his hand from mine and I saw no more.
"What did you see, Alice?" Bella asked worried. She had obviously forgotten about her mother having the blood that most appealed to me.
Alice gulped as she saw that everyone was looking at her. "Alec's coming."
"With the Volturi?" Carlisle asked.
"No. But he wasn't alone either."
"Where did he go when he disappeared?" I asked irritated that RJ didn't let me have the chance to see it.
"He was planning to separate the pack from us and he did so successfully. When he disappeared he went after you Leah but-"
"It doesn't matter! We need to come up with the plan now that we know what Alec's planning to do!" RJ growled, his brown eyes hardening.
"What? Yes, it does. How will I know if Leah survives?" I snapped at him.
"Don't worry, kid. I will. I killed his sister before, I could kill him," Leah said smugly.
"And he's not getting anywhere near us," RJ added with a wild passion but I smelled right through the lie.
"No. He will," I said, stating the fact that I know. He didn't look at me but stared angrily ahead.
"You shouldn't lie to a lie detector, you know." Emmett laughed. He was the only one who seemed relaxed. Rosalie gave him a look that clearly disapproved the way he took things right now. "Look, I'm sorry, babe. But I don't really care if that midget came here with a battalion of new born vamps like Victoria did. Honestly, I'm not too worried about that. Just as long as we have a good plan, we'll be fine. We've battled an army before. Just as long as we learn from our mistakes, no one will have to die-well except for them."
"Can you estimate when he will come here?" Bella asked her, her upper teeth digging deep in her lower lip.
"No. But as we speak, he's building an army of newborn vampires."
Carlisle shook his head. "I don't like this. We don't need another confrontation similar with Victoria's. I had enough fighting to last at least another century."
"I'm sorry, Carlisle," Ethan murmured.
"No, son. I don't blame you with anything. I'm just stating a mere fact."
"We should be ready despite whatever date he might decide to attack. We don't want him catching us unexpected," Jacob said standing up, no doubt fired up with everything that was going on. "I haven't battled a single vampire in a few years now and I'm really rather getting tired of just practicing on you guys, no offense, but I'd rather get this started."
Beating Alec and his...minions, as Emmett called them, were everything that we focused on. RJ and I don't even have the time for ourselves, though that's true for everyone else. Alice was concentrated in looking out for his next move, Edward and RJ were always looking for any unknown thoughts, and they told me to be aware of any smell that didn't belong to one of the family's or pack's personality. They told me to train so that I would be able to smell for miles and miles and if I'm able to do that, I would serve as another look out for anyone unwelcome coming.
Nothing happened for at least two weeks. Those two weeks were filled with nothing but training though. I could feel myself growing stronger in terms of hand-to-hand combat with a vampire. There were a couple of times where I have actually beaten Jasper and Leah but I think Leah just wanted me to win so I would stop bugging them about fighting, though that only got me more fired up. It was a good thing that spring break came sooner than later. It was hard for me to stay awake at classes because of fatigue. I'm pretty sure there are a couple of failed tests are coming my way. It wasn't until one night that Alec had finalized his plans and was planning to attack the following day.
"Carlisle, he's here," Alice said suddenly, her voice adapting a weary tone.
"But there wasn't any news about any attacks anywhere," Bella protested outraged looking away from her staring contest with Renesmee. Nessie was with us. She wanted to fight along but Jacob refused violently at the idea. She has been taking care of Billy since he was fully paralyzed.
Alice shook her head. "No. He wasn't attacking anywhere near here. He's been traveling from Canada to California, attacking random people who he thinks are good enough to fight us. But he avoids taking lives from here, knowing that we will get a wind of it."
"It's okay, Bells. We're ready," Jacob added, putting a comforting hand in Bella's shoulder.
"It's not fair. Why should I stay here while you all fight?" Nessie said, her brown eyes blazing angrily.
"NO!" Edward, Bella, Jacob, and RJ all screamed at the same time.
"Why? I could fight as well as you guys can!" she argued passionately.
"Can we let this go? You're not going to fight and that's that," Jacob said firmly. He decided to change the topic before Nessie could want to fight along us. When that happens, he can't do anything about it. "Where will he be waiting for us?"
"A few miles from the reservation on the other side of town. Some of the newborns are already there, waiting for us, tonight."
"Do we go in and ambush them when they aren't ready?" Emmett asked. I could smell excitement in his scent though he couldn't hide it in his voice either.
"Wouldn't it be better if we did ambush them since they were trying to do so?" Jacob agreed.
"We could see in the dark anyways," Emmett added.
"Are you all ready?" Carlisle asked, unsure. "Esme, maybe you should stay here. You and Nessie could wait here."
"What? I thought I was going with you? I thought I was going to fight along?" Esme answered outraged.
"I'm sorry Esme, but..." Edward trailed off.
"But what? I'm as strong as you guys!"
"That's what I'm trying to say!" Nessie complained, joining the small argument.
"No. Both of you stay," Rosalie said suddenly breaking her bitter silence for the first time. I could tell that she didn't want to fight at all though her family was fighting. I guess it was just out of gratitude for the pack and the fact that the people she care for were fighting too were the only reasons why she was going to fight. "We need a lookout just in case the Volturi comes along."
They looked sour but they couldn't argue their way out of that. I couldn't imagine those two fighting anyways. They were just too...kind to fight. I couldn't imagine them tearing newborns into pieces either. I could imagine them taking care of the newborns but not fighting them.
We trooped out into the night, letting the darkness swallow us up. The others were quiet, a little anxious about the upcoming battle but their scents raged on around me. RJ was quiet too though I could guess what he was worried about. I don't think he was fully worried about the fight but rather about my safety.
"I haven't asked you but can wolves see well in the dark?" Carlisle asked seriously.
"Not as clear as you can but enough," Leah answered unconcerned, focused on what she was going to do with Alec, as RJ informed me as he touched my hand once more. I didn't like it. If there was a way for me to stop her, I would definitely.
"Leah, please don't do anything stupid," I begged under my breath as the others recalled the plan once more. "Please." Leah gave me a hard look but didn't say anything.
"Guys, follow me," Jacob said as he started walking to the right of the dark forest while the Cullens went the other way.
"Why are the Cullens going that way?" I asked, following the vampires walk gracefully.
"We're separating. We need to spread out to surprise Alec's newborns while they don't know we're actually coming after them. We're going to corner them. Since they don't sleep, expect the fight to start right away."
We phased into wolves just before we enter the thicker parts of the forests. I don't like the dark- it's not as if I can't see or anything but I just don't like having the feeling that something was creeping around in the dark; which was true enough. There are newborns creeping around, stalking us to look information for their advantage. It was also hard to dodge the loose branches and the roots. I like walking in the forest in the morning and not at night.
For crying out loud, Andy, stop complaining so much! It's annoying! Nicole suddenly spat out.
Sorry, I said meekly. I just couldn't help thinking.
Stop biting her head off, Nikki. I know you're tense for the upcoming fight but she's not your enemy, RJ scowled.
God, will all of you, just shut up? Leah said irritated. Honestly, I've never met so many annoying, whining pups and I've been in this pack for the longest time!
Jacob started snorting. I knew he was thinking of how ridiculous this seems to be compared to what was coming. He didn't stop this petty arguments but enjoyed this moment in fear that this would be the last of it. I could understand why he was being like this but I think this wouldn't really be the last of it.
Jake, we'll all be fine, don't worry, I told him, trying to brush his worries away.
Something rustled on our left and before we could comprehend, vampires surrounded us and from what I could tell, we were outnumbered but the others didn't look worried at all. Confidence were thickening in the air making it hard not to be confident too. Even though we all felt this way, we all were really alarmed at the sight of the newborns. Their eyes were blood red with the same scowling expressions in their faces. They all pounced at us at the same time. We were all fighting three of them each at the same time.
Be careful! RJ screamed at me as one of them launched themselves at me, attempting to grab my throat.
Jacob! How are we going to kill them? Leah dodged a newborn and ripped his head off clean from his body. The sight would have been gruesome if the vampires had blood. We need fire!
I'm on it! Liv said, thinking of the lighter he had in his pocket. The sight revealed that he was hiding a pack of cigarettes along the lighter. Leah growled at the slip but Liv said nothing about it. She didn't have time to dwell upon the at the sight because another set of vampires launched from somewhere and started attacking us.
How many exactly are there? I asked as fatigue started taking its toll on my body. It seemed the vampires just keep on coming even though we've ripped them apart. I saw the different body parts reassembling themselves. We really do need the fire. So we tried our best not to throw the parts near each other, flinging them to different parts of the forest.
Where is that kid?! Leah scowled as she gracefully ripped another vampire head and flinging it with all her strength. But without warning, the forest burst into flames.
Liv's voice screamed in all of our heads, echoing into a million shouts. Got it!
Where have you been?! Nicole said, narrowly escaping a deadly swipe from the ferocious vampire girl she was fighting.
I felt something dug deep in my gut with such force that I started coughing up blood and everything started getting dizzy. I saw Leah's petite form grabbing the newborn I was fighting by the face. She crushed it and pushed her weight on her back. The crack camouflaged with the fire's crackling. She threw the torso to the fire and the head in her mouth shrieked. I stood up and realized the scene was something that might have came from nightmares. The nightmare became a reality.
Another newborn launched herself to Leah as she pushed me away. He clung on her back so tightly. She tried to shake him off but he was just clinging way too hard. I jumped above both of them and threw the vampire straight to the fire without ripping him apart. I guess that would be enough. Just as long as they were burning, that would be enough. Something jumped in my back and dug their hand on my back. I could feel thick rivers of blood started trickling down my back and to the grass. I screamed in pain as the vampire jumped off my back.
WHY YOU LITTLE...!! Leah screamed and chased the vampire into the dark. A young blonde boy followed her while the others continued to fight our pack. My heart sank as I realized who that was-it was Alec. I shot after him to stop Leah being outnumbered. I saw that Leah didn't realize Alec was after her as she was so focused on torturing the newborn. I jumped and launched myself at Alec, preventing him from taking one more step toward Leah. Automatically I phased into a human to prevent others from realizing what I did.
"Where are you going?" I hissed at him as he pushed himself up. "If you're going to go after someone, go after the person you want to kill."
"Ah, Leah," he said with a slick voice. "You killed my sister."
I smirked. Good, he thought I was my mother. "Did you hear her shrieks, Alec?" I taunted him.
He growled. "You'll regret it!" He launched his small figure at me and I dodged him barely. Before he landed on the ground, he grasped tight on my neck, preventing me to get away. "I've studied everything I could find about you. I realized where my sister made the mistake that caused her life. You're the type of person who likes to taunt a lot." He slammed me against the ground, knocking the remaining air out of my lungs. "You're not that powerful, you just outsmarted Jane with your talks and my sister, being so short-tempered, fell for your every insults. But that doesn't matter now. You're going to..."
But something large grabbed his hair and flung him from me. Before Alec's small figure could stand up, the huge figure crushed the small boy and grabbed his arms. It must have been one of the others. I was thankful enough for that. I phased back to a wolf to help him and I realized it was RJ. I tried to talk to him but he didn't answer. Anger burned with hysteria, preventing him from communicating even with his mind. He continued to rip Alec apart, ripping him from limb to limb, while growling loudly. He threw everything in the fire that was spreading to this part now, throwing his head last of all. He stood there, staring at the fire for the longest time while panting heavily.
RJ... I started but he slammed me against a tree, his huge body preventing me to move.
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?! WHAT THE HELL, ANDREA! WHAT THE HELL!
I phased back into a human and let his fur and warmth cover me. This started to calm down and he loosened his grip on me against the tree. "I'm sorry," I whispered, cupping my hand on his cheek. "I...I didn't mean it. I saw Alec going after Leah and...I couldn't let him do that."
He touched my arm. So you were going to do that to me? What if I didn't realize you were gone. I... I can't live without you now. Don't do that to me ever again, do you understand?
I nodded. No, RJ, I won't do that ever again. And... I can't live without you too. I never can and never will.