True North
By Jaclyn Parker

"Hell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person."
-Tennessee Williams
************************************************************************

Katie Peretti Snyder was having a really bad Monday.

First she woke up on the couch, her hand numb from its outstretched position to reach the laptop on the coffee table. Thankfully all her background checks into Spencer's past had still been up and running.

Then her teenaged stepdaughter had come home from staying at the Lakeview, where her mom had been living for the past month. She had been completely upset about another argument they had, stomping around the house and muttering under her breath. Since the end of the previous week, it seemed that all Janet and Liberty had done was fight. When Katie had asked about this particular battle, Liberty had blown her off completely except for another mutter something about her mom making friends with some new guy really fast. Katie hadn't gotten any more out of her before the bedroom door slammed shut and locked.

Now, to top it all off, if she didn't hurry she was going to be late to meet her sister Margo for lunch at Metro. Lord only knew why the female cop wanted to meet there, knowing how much Katie detested one of its owners. But after the strain between them recently, Katie would indulge her just this once. Plus they desperately needed to discuss this rumor that their crooked brother, Craig, was back in town.

All in all, it looked to be an exceptionally tense lunch.

Katie's stomach growled and she suddenly felt light headed, making her pause to think about when the last time she had actually eaten was. Realizing that it was probably lunch the previous day, Katie purposely picked up the pace.

Hearing a scuffling noise in the small throughway alley to her right made Katie's head turn and when it did she caught her breath in shock. At the far end, in the shadows, she could make out a male figure and small female exchanging money. Even though the male was completely hidden, the female's face was temporarily lit by an errant ray of sunlight.

"Spencer!" Katie found herself calling out and then realized her idiotic mistake. Spencer's head shot up and apparently recognizing Katie's voice she froze briefly but then bolted down the back way. Katie didn't stop to think as she grabbed her cell phone out of her pocket and went to hit Brad's speed dial as she headed down into the alleyway after her. Somehow, in the shock of seeing Spencer, Katie had forgotten about the girl's male companion.

It was the same male companion who suddenly stepped into Katie's path and grabbed her by the neck. Slamming the petite blonde against the brick wall next them, his grip tightened causing Katie's world begin to slide on an axis. The sound of hard plastic hitting the ground echoed faintly in her ears and it occurred to her that she hadn't been able to press the number for Brad long enough to dial.

The man's angry brown eyes bored into hers and then the cool blade of a switch knife grazed her cheek. The fact that he wore no mask and was looking directly at her without any hesitation, did not bode well for Katie.

"Such a pretty girl. It's a shame there isn't time to do everything I want to do to you." He said, his breath hot on her face and Katie felt tears slide down her cheeks. Then a sharp, white hot pain started in her abdomen and then spread throughout her body, causing her to gasp despite the grip he still had on her throat. She could see him pull the now bloody knife away from her body and rear back to stab her again.

Thinking of Brad and how much she loved him, Katie closed her eyes and prepared to die.

"Hey! What are you doing?" A voice yelled out and Katie's attacker froze.

"Get off of her! I have a gun!"

The thug looked up to peer down the busy street end of the alleyway. Sure enough, the person standing with the sun behind them was pointing a gun in his direction. He looked down at the small bleeding blonde in front of him and let go of her neck. She crumpled to the ground, holding her stomach where he had stabbed her. Not pausing to give it another thought he took off down the back end of the alleyway, disappearing around the corner.

"Hello, I need help! A woman named Katie Snyder has been stabbed in the alleyway between 9th and Rider. It's three blocks from the club Metro. Please hurry!" A faintly familiar voice echoed in the alley, quickly coming closer to where Katie lay shaking on the ground. Yet Katie still thought she was dreaming when she saw who had run to her side and was now leaning over her, putting pressure on her wound.

"Carly?"

"Yeah, yeah it's me." Carly said, trying to keep the horror out of her voice as she knelt by the bleeding woman on the ground. She hated Katie with a passion usually reserved only by the likes of Barbara Ryan, but this type of brutal attack was something no one deserved.

"Did you see her? Tell me you saw her too!" Katie asked, her words intermingled with gasps of pain.

Carly shook her head, not understanding Katie's words at all, and made a shushing noise. "Don't talk, Katie. I called 911 and they're on their way."

Carly had taken her thick gray wool scarf off of her neck and was now using it to press down on Katie's stomach. At the younger woman's yelp of pain, Carly couldn't help but wince.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know it hurts. I have to try and stop the bleeding."

The scarf was now soaked in blood, as were Carly's hands, and yet she could still feel the warm sticky liquid flowing out from under them.

"Oh God, please hurry." Carly sent up a prayer and thankfully she could hear sirens in the not so far distance only moments later.

"It's…it's not so bad now." Katie said, her color much paler than Carly would have liked.

"It's okay to be okay, Katie. I promise. Just lay still and please stop talking." Carly said, shaking her head.

Katie could feel her body getting heavy and the edges of her view were blurry, as if she had put on someone else's glasses. Her head was fuzzy and she could hear someone talking to her but it sounded as if she was hearing it from underwater. Who was it? The voice spoke again and Katie remembered.

Carly.

If Carly was with her, then Katie had something recognizable to hold onto instead of the growing darkness that was quickly filling her with terror. Since Carly fought everyone and everything, surely she would fight the shadows that were slipping into Katie's view. She could feel the darkness threatening to take her someplace cold; somewhere Brad wouldn't be able to find her.

But what if Carly left her?

Then Katie would be alone and that thought made her begin to cry quietly.

"Stay with me…please. No matter what." Katie's voice had grown softer and the hushed sob that followed her words made Carly's blood run cold in panic.

"Of course I'm going to stay with you. Now I said stop talking!" She said irritably and Katie's eyes cleared somewhat as they narrowed.

"No…need…to…yell at…me." She said and despite her shallower breathing she still managed to sound like an angry and petulant child. Carly sighed with relief, both because Katie seemed to revive more with her anger and the fact that Carly had finally heard the scuffling of the EMTs behind her.

As they kindly but firmly got Carly out of the way to work on Katie, she moved to pick up Katie's forgotten cell phone. The screen was now cracked but Carly could read the number that was almost dialed. Hitting the send button she pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hey, baby, you at lunch with Margo?" Brad's deep voice rumbled in Carly's ear and she sighed.

"No, Brad. It's Carly."

"Carly?" Brad confusion was more than obvious. "But…"

"Brad, listen to me. I don't have time to explain right now." Carly said as she watched the EMTs begin to load Katie on a gurney. "There's been an accident. I need you to meet me at Memorial as soon as you can. I don't care what you're doing, just get there."

"Carly, is Katie okay?" Brad asked but at Carly's silence he knew he had his answer. "Never mind, I'll be right there."

Carly pulled the now silent phone from her ear, and then realized that her hands had transferred blood onto the formerly sleek pink device. She felt her stomach turn over but pushed those thoughts away as Katie rolled past her view.

The younger blonde caught sight of Carly even though her eyes were growing too heavy to keep open much longer. With one last burst of strength she reached out her hand to Carly and her gaze sent out a silent plea.

"I'm going with her." Carly said, moving forward to take Katie's hand.

"Ma'am…" one of the EMTs started to say but she shut him up with a death glare.

"I said I'm going with her!" Carly practically growled at the man and he blinked in surprise.

One of his colleagues had told him about a gorgeous but stubborn blonde that they had treated a little over a month prior and if EMT Mac Jamison didn't know any better he could have sworn that this was the same lady.

Realizing that time was of the essence and that the angry woman in front of him wasn't going to back down, he nodded. Less than a heartbeat later they were on their way to the hospital. Even there it took three nurses and another EMT to pry Carly's hand from Katie's as the wheeled her into the emergency OR.

When Brad rushed in, Carly was just finished wiping off as much blood from her hands as she could with a towel from one of the nurses. His frantic eyes darted around the ER waiting room until they landed on Carly and then he made a beeline for her.

"What happened? Where is she? What's going on?" He bombarded her with questions and Carly raised a hand to her forehead in protest. Seeing her blood stained hands Brad stopped short, his stomach feeling like it had just plummeted into his shoes.

Carly followed his gaze and dropping her hand back to her side she quickly sat him in a chair before his legs buckled. Then, sitting beside him, she finally spoke.

"Katie's gone into surgery; they haven't come out yet. Some guy attacked her in the alley near Metro. I was on my way to work and happened to be there to scare the guy off. I found her, called 911 and then…we came here." Carly said as simply as she could, not wanting to go into the gory details. He would want all of it later, but right now she knew his focus wasn't on anything but his wife.

Brad nodded, trying to slow his breathing down to help calm his heart rate. He looked at Carly's hands again and she also looked down.

"I'm going to go wash up. I'll be right back." Carly said standing and was about to walk to the bathroom when Brad's voice stopped her.

"Why are you…?" he trailed off, not sure how to phrase his question but Carly understood it anyway.

"Because she asked me stay with her. That's what I intend to do until she says otherwise." Carly said simply and then disappeared into the ladies room, missing the smile that briefly crossed Brad's lips.

When Carly came back out, she knew that she had taken longer than one would expect to wash one's hands. But Carly absolutely refused to leave the bathroom until every speck of blood had been washed from her body, including under her fingernails. Her skin was practically rubbed raw but she had done it and felt somewhat cleaner now.

As she walked back over to Brad, she placed a hand on his back. He jumped, slightly startled and then looked at her with a dazed look. She frowned and sat down next to him, shaking her head.

"Not yet, Brad. Stay focused for a little longer. The doctor will be out soon." Carly said and as if it was from her lips to God's ears, the OR surgeon came out wiping his hands on a towel.

"Mr. Snyder?" He asked and Brad jumped to his feet, Carly not far behind him.

The doctor's eyes slid to her for a millisecond before going back to Brad.

"Your wife is going to be fine. The knife knicked a blood vessel which is why she lost so much blood, but it thankfully it turned out not to be anything that required major surgery. Once we found the problem we were able to stop the bleeding relatively quickly which is a very good thing. I'm not going to lie to you, a few more minutes and your wife wouldn't be here."

Brad threw a look in Carly's direction but she just avoided his gaze and concentrated on the doctor.

"She needed to have a blood transfusion during surgery and she'll be receiving another unit for the next 4 hours, approximately. However, her vitals are strong and stable enough that she's been moved to recovery room 5. The anesthesia will start to wear off in a little while, so you can talk to her once the nurse checks the IV line and she's completely settled. That should only be a few minutes. I'll be there in little while with the rest of the test results and to answer any questions you might have."

The doctor shook Brad's hand and disappeared again, leaving a stunned Brad and Carly behind.

With a giant sigh of relief Brad grabbed Carly in a hug which, after a shocked moment, she returned. When he let go, he turned to ask a nurse how to get to Katie's room and then started towards the elevator. Pausing before it opened, Brad looked back at Carly.

"I thought you said she asked you to stay with her?"

With a small perplexed smile, Carly nodded and went with him to Katie's room. The nurse that was leaving gave them a smile and waved them in, letting them know that Katie was beginning to awaken.

The young woman looked incredibly tiny, lying in the hospital bed with an IV line, a blood unit, and a heart monitor beeping away. Brad rushed over to her side; bending down to kiss her forehead, while Carly hovered uncomfortably by the door.

A low, soft moan caught their attention and Brad smiled down at his slowly awakening wife.

"Brad?" Katie's eyes fluttered open and she smiled at the sight of his face. Then the smiled faded and her brow furrowed. "What happened?"

"Shh, it's okay. You're okay now." Brad said and Katie shook her head lightly.

"Where am I?" Her voice was soft and then a small gasp escaped her. "Oh, my God, the alley! Spencer! I saw her, Brad, but she got away. I'm so sorry!"

Katie's eyes frantically searched Brad's face and even though he was dying to find out what she was talking about he just hushed her again.

"Katie, just relax. You can tell me everything later, okay?"

Katie nodded but then gasped again. "Where's Carly? Is she okay?"

Brad looked over to where Carly stood and she shifted on her feet, clearing her throat quietly.

"I'm here. I'm right here, Katie."

Katie's eyes flew to where Carly stood by the door and her shoulders dropped in a combination of relief and confusion.

"You stayed." Katie said softly and Carly nodded.

"I stayed." She echoed and Katie nodded back before her expression changed to one of complete bewilderment.

"Carly, where…where did you get a gun?" Katie asked, a puzzling detail from earlier popping into her mind.

Carly looked sheepish for a moment, her hand crossing in front of her to scratch the side of her neck.

"Well, actually, it was a water gun of J.J.'s. I, uh, took it from him this morning when he shot milk at Sage over the breakfast table. He's going to kill me cause I think I left it behind in the alley." Carly said, letting out a small nervous laugh.

"My God, Carly, what were you thinking? What if that guy hadn't believed you?" Brad exclaimed, his mind running through what could have happened to both women if the attacker hadn't bought Carly's bluff.

"I wasn't thinking." Carly said honestly. "I knew that the sun was behind me and he probably could only see my outline from his spot. Not to mention I just wanted to buy some time and possibly get him away from Katie before he could..."

Carly trailed off and there was silence again. Then Katie opened her mouth to say something, but never got it out.

"Good, look who's awake." The doctor interrupted, cheerfully entering the room. He had Katie's medical chart pressed to his chest and he grinned at the patient in the bed. "Well, I have excellent news! You should make a full recovery. Of course, you're going to be sore for a while but that's to be expected."

Brad grinned at Katie and kissed her softly, feeling his entire body relax.

"The best news of all is we just got the final test results in and since the wound was completely away from the uterus, the baby is fine."

He paused when they all looked at him in utter shock, no one moving a muscle.

"The what now?" Brad finally found his voice and asked, blinking hard and shaking his head.

Katie's hand flew to her stomach as her jaw dropped open.

The doctor looked at them and frowned.

"You didn't know?" He asked and both Brad and Katie shook their heads numbly. "Well, I guess that's not surprising since you're only about 4 to 5 weeks along, Mrs. Snyder. The obstetrician on call can give you a more exact date when she comes to examine you later today. But rest assured none of the anesthesia or surgery was harmful and your baby looks incredibly healthy despite the state of its mother."

Brad looked down at Katie whose blue eyes shimmered as she looked back up at him. Then she began to laugh, the tears of joy sliding down her face as he gathered her to him gently. Kissing her over and over, he began to laugh too.

Grinning, the doctor turned to Carly and tilted his head.

"I take it you are the woman who helped her in that alley?" He asked and Carly just nodded. He stuck out his hand and she accepted his handshake. "How does it feel knowing that you actually saved two lives today?"

Carly looked at a beaming Katie and Brad and grinned. "Pretty damn good."

He laughed and covered their hands with his other one before letting go. Turning he looked over at Brad and Katie and smiled. "I'll be back in a little while to check on you. May I suggest that you get some rest? You're gonna need it."

When he was gone Carly looked over at Katie, whose hand had yet to leave her lower stomach. She could easily read the absolute joy on the young woman's face, reveling in the knowledge that she was going to be a mother. Her kids were hardly babies anymore but Carly could remember that feeling well. With everything that Carly had done in her life, all the fashion shows and work she put into Metro, her children were her greatest pride and joys. And Carly knew that Katie would feel the same way she did from this moment on.

"Well, well, well. Katie Peretti Snyder…all grown up." She said and Katie's eyes shot to Carly's face, remembering the first time that Carly had said similar words to her.

Images flew their minds of newborn Sage, a rustic cabin, and four very different women who, for one night, laid their personal differences aside to bond and celebrate new beginnings.

"Carly, I don't even know how to begin…" Katie said, shaking her head and frowning.

"Right place, right time. Nuff said." Carly told her, brushing aside her thank you. When Katie reached out her hand, Carly hesitated only a moment before stepping up to the bed and taking it in her own.

Her eyes connected with Katie's and both women smiled softly. Though they knew that even though nothing would ever truly be forgotten, a hell of a lot had just been forgiven…on both sides. It's amazing how much absolution a new innocent life can bring.

"Well," Carly said, squeezing Katie's hand before letting it go. "Like the doctor said, the mommy-to-be should be getting some rest. Not to mention I have to go make sure that Metro is still standing without me. Or at least that Henry still is."

The laugh that rose in her stuck in her throat as the door to Katie's room opened.

"Jack, what are you doing here?" Brad asked and his eyes darted to his wife then to Carly, who now looked decidedly paler than the patient in the bed.

"I heard about Katie on the police scanner and then I got a frantic call from Margo confirming it. What the hell happened?" Jack asked his brother and Katie, completely ignoring Carly's presence in the room.

This was fine with Carly, as she used the time to just soak up the image of him and store it in her mind for later.

It had been exactly three weeks, one day, and 8 hours since he had walked out of Milltown and that had been the last time that she had actually seen him face to face.

Christmas Eve was two days away and all the arrangements for the kids had gone through Emma or Lily and Holden. The gaping emotional distance between her and Jack was something that she hadn't had in over a year and a half and it was threatening to tear her apart, not to mention what it was doing to the children. The worse part about it was that she didn't even begin to know how to fix it.

The simple solution would probably be to tell him the truth about her feelings, that she actually loved him more than she could ever put into words. But then they would be right back where they started on the issue of them getting back together and Carly was determined to stay strong. Miserable, but strong.

Not to mention, Carly had a feeling that deep down this was more than a pride issue. She had hurt him badly that night and it went beyond the obvious reasons that she could see.

"I think you can go now." Jack's voice was cold and it took Carly a moment to realize that he was talking to her.

Her heart felt like it was going to shatter into a million pieces as she met his hard and unforgiving gaze. She thought for a second she saw something glimmer there but then it disappeared as fast as it had come.

Carly nodded and moved towards the door, picking up her purse from the chair beside it. Jack brushed past her to move to Katie's other side, as if the proximity to Carly was intolerable. She closed her eyes briefly and forced the tears back, as she turned to look at Katie one more time.

"Congratulations. Take care of yourself, okay?" She said and before Katie could respond, Carly slipped out the door.

As the door closed Jack started pacing as he rambled on about Margo running the crime scene and him being ordered to report in the second he found out how Katie was doing. Anything to keep his mind off the fact that Carly had been within touching distance only moments before.

Suddenly he stopped, beginning to get frustrated with the glares and silence he had been receiving from both Brad and Katie since he entered the room.

"What?" Jack asked, exasperated, and Katie shook her head at him.

"I can't believe that you just threw Carly out of my hospital room!" She exclaimed and Jack looked at her like she had two heads.

"Why? Did you want that pleasure all to yourself?" Jack joked but Katie just glared at him harder.

"That's not funny, Jack!"

Jack stopped and shook his head in disbelief. "What is going on here? I feel like I just stepped into the Twilight Zone."

"For your information, Carly just happened to save my life today! And the life of my baby!" Katie said heatedly.

"Your what?" Jack stepped back, his eyes roaming over her as if she would suddenly look nine months pregnant.

"Yes, Brad and I are going to have baby! It's wonderful, amazing, and wouldn't be happening at all if Carly hadn't been there to stop the guy from stabbing me again!" Katie ranted leaning forward in the bed.

Brad half-heartedly pushed her back towards the pillows, but the gleam in his eye suggested how much fun he was having watching his older brother get reamed out.

"Carly…" Jack stuttered again, trying to wrap his brain around what Katie was telling him.

"She scared him off before calling 911 and staying with me. I mean, for all we knew, the guy could have come back to take care of us both but Carly refused to leave until she knew I was okay!" Katie told him angrily, her eyes flashing even though her brain was well aware of the irony of her defending Carly to Jack. "And we don't even like each other!"

Jack swallowed hard at the thought of Carly lying in a hospital bed, or worse, because she had been attacked like Katie. He had felt light headed enough when he had walked in the room and seen her standing by Katie's bed, but now he felt absolutely weak at the knees.

Every instinct Jack had upon seeing Carly's face again had told him to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. But then the fallout from the night of the engagement party had rushed into his mind and he remembered that she didn't want anything to do with him that way.

The pain from her rejecting the idea of their family together again hurt more than he could begin to describe. After everything they had been through, especially in the last year or so, he knew that Carly had changed. Hell, he had changed more than he ever thought he could. All Jack wanted was the opportunity to show her that he understood now; that even with her crazy schemes and lurking disasters around every corner, he wanted her back just the way she was. But Carly had shut him down before he could even breathe a word of that to her.

Since that morning three weeks ago, Jack had gone to extreme lengths to avoid seeing her, especially around town where she might show up with Lee or the kids. Emma had stayed out of it until the other day when he had asked her talk to Carly again about Christmas arrangements. That had been the only time she had stuck her nose in and it was to tell him that they were both acting ridiculous. Jack knew it and he knew it was hurting the children, but in the end he couldn't help it. Every time he even looked at Carly, he found himself thinking about what could have been this time around.

Jack was jerked out of his mental thoughts when a pink plastic hospital cup bounced off the side of his head.

"Are you even listening to me?" Katie demanded and he blinked at her in confusion.

"Did you just throw a cup at my head?" He asked in astonishment, looking to Brad for confirmation.

Brad just shrugged and inclined his head towards Katie. "Hormones."

Jack made a face at him and Katie took the moment to repeat herself.

"I said, I think you owe Carly an apology. And from what I hear from Emma, not to mention what I just saw my own eyes, it's probably about time you guys spoke anyway."

"What are you talking about?" Jack asked, rubbing the now sore spot on his head.

"I think she's right, dude. I've seen those looks between you two before." Brad said and Jack's eyes turned to him, remembering back years ago when Brad had indeed seen the best and worst of him and Carly. Long forgotten guilt flickered in the back of Jack's mind and he knew Brad saw it in his eyes.

Nevertheless Brad just shook his head, knowing that it was all very stale water under the bridge. He kissed the side of Katie's hair, subtly conveying that he was exactly where he wanted to be. "Go after her, Bro. Before it's too late…again."

Jack hesitated only a moment before heading to the door and yanking it open. Walking towards the elevator his eyes immediately landed on Carly, who had apparently dropped into the nearest chair and was now crying. His heart felt like it was being squeezed in his chest as he watched her sob into her hands. If it was one thing that tore at him more than the thought of Carly hurt, it was the sight of Carly crying with him as the likely cause. Taking a deep breath, he stepped towards her.

"Carly?"

Carly looked up through a veil of tears to see Lee standing just to the left of her, calling her name. Hearing the contrast between the concern in his accented voice versus the cold, impersonal tone that Jack had spoken to her in, made the reality of this morning's danger came crashing down on her. Carly began to shake uncontrollably as she realized that once again she had made an impetuous move that had nearly caused her to be killed.

Only this time, her G-man hadn't come to her rescue; he didn't even seem to care.

As Lee sat down next to her, he folded her into a warm hug.

"Oh God, Lee, I'm so glad you're here." Carly cried, holding onto him tightly.

"Shhh, it's okay. Just take your time and then you can tell me what happened." Lee said and held her as she let it out of her system. As he heard the name 'Jack' whispered into his neck, he frowned and kissed the top of her head. "It'll be okay, sweetheart. I love you and I'll be here for as long as you need me."

In a darkened alcove in the nearby nurse's station, Jack watched Lee comfort Carly. He had seen the tall Australian doctor coming and slid away moments before either Lee or Carly could spot him. While Jack knew that Carly had told him that she loved Lee, Jack needed to know how Lee felt about her. Now as the doctor's words drifted to his ears, Jack knew that he had his answer.

As Lee rocked the woman he thought of as a sister in his arms, neither one noticed as a disheartened Jack slipped out of the shadows and silently walked away.

Author's Note: Don't worry...the holidays are here. Some happy CarJack is coming up...maybe... ;-)