Hey guys so I'm back with another installation of Bats and Joker and this one sadly no smut, but it was a bigass chapter for me and I decided I'd just let Joker and Bruce duke it for about the next two chapters or so. Anyway I hope you like it and as always read and review. And as always I do not own Batman or Joker or Alfred they belong to DC COMICS and Chris Nolan.

Joker watched dispassionately as Jonny writhed and moaned in the alcohol soaked barbed wire. It had been interesting for the first hour or so, hearing the pleading punctuated by high agonizing keening sounds, but after the screams became sodden whimpering pleas Joker realized two things.

One he was bored and two, he had royally fucked himself out of an incredible bedmate and his only archnemesis. Watching Jonny squirm was nothing compared to the thrill of outsmarting and evading the Batman. Hearing that tanned sweating body screaming beneath him, craving him was so much better than this. His eyebrow raised as the whimpers ceased and the pale, no longer satin smooth, blood drenched body stopped moving. The wimpy bastard had passed out finally. He didn't know why Jonny had seem so surprised about his punishment. He had told him in the hotel that he was going to be punished for peeking. He snorted as he realized that pretty boy had probably thought he had been alluding to a little rough sex.

Silly Jonny.

He rolled up the sleeve of his shirt and glanced down at his watch. It was now seven in the morning, the paper was sure to be out by now. He decided that he didn't want the pathetic heap on the floor to die just yet, so he got to work on unraveling and in most instances unsticking Jonathan from the wire. After that was finished he fetched his cellphone from one of his numerous jacket pockets. He coughed amiably and plucked an upstanding citizen voice from the myriad of voices he had learned. After the ring of the phone the familiar robotic voice came onto the phone.

"I would like to report a possible murder!"

He listened, breathing harshly so as to insinuate that he was frightened.

"Yeah, the old building by the number eleven docks! Please hurry I think-"

And then the piece de resistance, he cut off the voice immediately replacing it with his own natural inflections and tone.

"Now, uh, what did I tellll you about, uh, using the phone," and then he ended the call with a cruel cackle. He really did love playing with law enforcement they never failed to put him in a good mood, especially when he managed to dupe them, which was always. He swept his jacket up from the edge of the bed where Jonny lay. He glanced at the figure once more and smiled.

"Well Jonny its been fun, and its been real."

. .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . ..

Bruce woke again his breath coming in harsh gasps, his skin sweating. He almost cried out to Alfred but the sound caught in his throat when he realized he wasn't there. He pressed shaking palms into his eyes and growled low in his throat. It had been three weeks since he had donned the cowl. He had thought of it every night since Joker had thrown his "party" and the result was always the same, soft painful regret.

"Master Wayne, I do believe without me you do make quite a bloody mess."

Bruce towards the door to see Alfred holding a tray topped with breakfast. He couldn't find it in himself to speak, only nod dumbly. As the butler approached him he couldn't help but imagine that he was a child again and he had had another nightmare. Alfred had always been there with old British wisdom and something good to eat.

"How did you know?"

"Contrary to popular belief I do get out, read the occasional newspaper. It seems that the Batman 'as taken a bit of a break, so I hear."

"Alfred-"

"S'alright Master Wayne take as long as you need."

"I don't think I'll do it again."

"And you're sure about that? Are you forgetting the reason you put the mask on in the first place?"

"The criminals are lying low since the Joker put them in their place. I don't think the people need me anymore."

Bruce threw the sheets aside and sat on the edge of the bed. He saw Alfred give him a strange look as he handed him his breakfast.

"What?"

"You honestly believe that letting the Joker rule over the criminal populace is a good idea? 'ow will people react with their safety, their dreams, their lives, hinged on the whims of a madman? You are a symbol remember? What you stand for is what makes all the difference."

. .. . .. . .. . .. . ..

Joker scanned the headlines angrily. The Bat hadn't been seen in over two weeks, not even the odd tied up criminal. There was speculation that he'd died, but glancing at the Entertainment section of the paper and seeing Bruce Wayne's suave profile, Joker knew otherwise. He decided that he was going to have to draw out his favorite playmate if he was ever going to have anything to do.

He glanced at the car parked near the newstand. He glanced over at the dead newspaper vendor and decided that he was going to have to be noticed. The Bat should never take his eyes off of him.

. .. . .. . .. . .. . ..

The doorbell rang and Alfred knew who it was immediately. It seemed he wasn't the only one against Bruce Wayne sulking in the penthouse. He set down the silverware neatly on the table before heading to the door. Outside revealed a very agitated clown. He didn't step aside or even greet the man as he did with most guests instead he eyed the clown warily before chastising him.

"Your bloody late. 'and me the jacket and go 'ave a seat at the table."

The clown raised an eyebrow but then handed over his coat as he headed into the dining room. He didn't see Bruce there but he imagined that if there was a place set for two the butler would come up with a way to get the vigilante to dinner. He straightened his tie and looked down at the neatly set table, a table for two. He didn't expect that he was predictable, but the fact that the butler had already set a plate for him, knowing he would show up at night, how did he-

"What are you doing here," a gravelly voice behind him muttered.

Joker didn't turn around but instead began to play with the fork. "Evenin' Brucey. Now when can,uh, Batsss come out to play? I've been kinda...lonely without him."

"I'm done Joker, it's over."

Joker picked up the knife letting the light play against its surface.

"It's neverrr gonna be over so long as there's a you and there's a me. We were born to do this, forever."

"I don't believe that."

"Just because you don't believe in gravity doesn't mean its rulesss don't apply."

Bruce moved to the seat across from him and sat down. They stared at each other a moment and Bruce smiled.

"You can't be you without me, can you?"

"I can, but it wouldn't be as fun."

"No. No, you can't. What'd be the point? You could knock off a bank or two, but in the long run there's no challenge in it, not without me. If I don't go out there-"

"I'll destroy Gotham. Batsss, Who do you think you're, uh, talking to? I won't quit. Incapable of it, really. If you don't stop me, that'sss on you."

Bruce slammed a fist on the table, clattering the plates and silverware.

"Why!?"

Alfred came in as stealthily as a ghost and placed the steaming food on the table. It was a delicious smelling spaghetti dish and for a brief moment Joker considered kidnapping Alfred just so he could cook for him. He dished out the portions and then left the room just as silently.

"Good service," Joker said leaning his head towards the retreating butler. He then took his fork and began digging into this food with gusto. He flicked his grey eyes up at Bruce who was eating in a slow reserved manner. He had never really had a chance to watch the other man eat, but now that he had, he realized it was just the way he imagined Batman eating. He was neat, methodical, and practical with the way that he wielded his silverware and he didn't make a sound. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and pushed at his scars tentatively.

"Can we just go fuck now?"

"What the-why the hell would we have sex!?"

"Cause you haven't been, uh, gettin' any and, heh, I broke Jonny."

"No, I think I'll pass on that. Eat your damn stroganoff, and try not to talk."

Joker made to sit up, his knife already fisted in his hand, but turned to see Alfred returning with a bottle of wine. Again he didn't say a word and Joker was beginning to think that the butler was timing his entrances. He grumbled a quick thank you before downing a glass. He smacked his lips in appreciation and then poured himself another glass.

"So, uh, Bruce, how does this, ah, work? You don't be Batman...I go off and kill people...then what?"

"Nothing."

"Huh, see I don't like that idea."

"And I don't really care, pass the wine."

Joker let the knife fly and Bruce grabbed the end, slamming it into the table. He shoved his seat out and got up and Joker smiled happily. He had been waiting for this.

"Get the fuck upstairs now, Jack. We have some things to talk about."

"Now that'sss what I wanna hear."

Jack took the bottle of wine and followed Bruce, though he was fairly certain he knew where'd they'd end up.