Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, or any of its characters, Tite Kubo does. I do, however, own this story.

Torn

Chapter 12: Shades of Gray

Driven by her renewed desire to break through Ulquiorra's shell and figure out what was keeping him so permanently melancholic, Neliel soon found herself in front of the door to the Fourth Espada's room. It was a place she almost never visited; even though all of the rooms in Las Noches were more or less the same, plain white marble, something about Schiffer's quarters just felt… lifeless.

Peering into the dwelling, the Third Espada was surprised to see her comrade sleeping. Usually he was the dictionary definition of an insomniac, spending hours standing on his balcony and staring wordlessly out at the moon. This was interesting, most interesting.

Part of her felt guilty about waking Ulquiorra up, but Nel also knew that the best way to get him to open up would be to shock him first, knock him off-kilter. As she crept up silently, intent on jolting the Fourth Espada awake, the green-haired Arrancar found her master plan derailed by a single, deadpanned question.

"What are you doing here, Neliel?"

Freezing in place like a kid who'd had her hand caught in the cookie-jar, the Third Espada huffed and blew a stay bunch of hair out of her face in exasperation. At least he'd dropped the stupid honorific; that was a start.

"Were you even asleep?" she asked, and for a brief moment she thought she heard something like a chuckle come from Ulquiorra.

"I was," Schiffer replied evenly, "but your footsteps are so loud they might as well be Yammy's."

Neliel's eyes narrowed as the full implication sunk in.

"Are you saying I'm fat, Ulqui-kun?" she hissed dangerously, and if Nel could have seen Ulquiorra's face in that moment, she would have noticed that the corner of his mouth twitched up into the smallest of smirks.

"So easy…" he mumbled as he turned over, now lying on his side rather than on his back. The Third Espada's eyes went from narrow to wide in shock as she realized that Ulquiorra had been messing with her. Ulquiorra joking was like Aizen having an epiphany, repenting all of his sins and becoming a Holy Man; it just didn't happen.

"What's with you?" she asked, and Schiffer's reply came out in a mumble.

"I could ask you the same question, Neliel."

The green-haired Espada arched a curious eyebrow.

"How so?"

"Look at yourself," the Fourth Espada replied coldly. "Here you are, sneaking into my room in the dead of night and trying to catch me off-guard just so you can get a rise out of me. Why? What are you looking for?"

Infuriated by the chilled, indifferent tone, the apathy that seemed to drip from every word, Nel finally snapped as her calm exterior peeled away to reveal the warrior with the strength to merit her position as Third Espada.

"You know exactly what I'm looking for, Ulquiorra," she growled. "I'm looking for you, the real you!"

Before Neliel could even blink, dark green eyes were boring into her own. Schiffer had moved from his bed to within a foot of her so quickly that the shock of his sudden proximity took her breath away.

"What you see now is what I am, Neliel," Ulquiorra said calmly as the moonlight cast an ethereal glow around the tattoo that was proof of his rank. "I have no reason to hide anything from anyone."

"Liar."

The accusation rang with the strength of a gunshot in the empty room, and Schiffer raised an eyebrow ever-so-slightly.

"What was that?" he asked, a blatant undercurrent of menace in his voice that almost made Neliel back down. Almost.

"I believe I said you were a liar, Ulquiorra," she hissed. "You say you have no reason to hide from anyone, and yet ever since you became an Arrancar you've been hiding from yourself."

Completely counter to her expectations, Schiffer's reiatsu suddenly flared, the surge forcing the female Arrancar's back up against the wall.

"What do you want from me?" Ulquiorra said in a slightly-raised voice that might as well have been a shout. "Do you want me to walk up to Aizen and stab him in the chest, in some suicidally heroic gesture? Why the hell do you even care what happens to me?"

"Because…" Neliel began, her throat hitching for a moment before she pressed on, "Because you meant something to me, once."

Any emotional fire that had blazed in Ulquiorra's eyes moments before died out faster than a match in a downpour, his emerald eyes losing their luster completely once again.

"Like I told you, Neliel," he shot back flatly, "that Ulquiorra is dead. You are chasing a dream, and nothing more. Now go, and pine for the past on your own time. I have no interest in pointless nostalgia."

The Third Espada felt the corners of her eyes sting, but she blinked back the tears and shoved past Schiffer before flashing away with a buzz. When he was alone, Ulquiorra tensed one of his fists and pounded it into the wall, an instinctive bala forming around it and all-but annihilating the cool stone.

"God damn it, woman," he growled, before walking slowly out onto his balcony and raising his dark eyes to the moon.

Rukia felt a presence approaching and sat up in bed, throwing the sheets off of her and popping in a Soul Candy. Whatever it was touched down on the roof and stopped, as if it was waiting for her to appear. After she shook off her residual tiredness, the reiatsu became painfully familiar and the young Kuchiki grit her teeth.

This was not going to be pleasant.

Flashing up to the roof of the Kurosaki household, Rukia faced down her surprise visitor and spoke out a terse greeting.

"What brings you here, Nii-sama? I thought they needed you in Soul Society."

"They can do without me for the moment," the elder Kuchiki said as he turned around, his hard eyes glinting like flint in the moonlight. "We need to talk."

"About what?" the violet-eyed Soul Reaper asked, feigning ignorance. She knew exactly why Byakuya had come, and had no desire to discuss what was assuredly on his mind.

"Ichigo Kurosaki," the Captain said coldly, and Rukia almost winced at the palpable hatred in his voice. "He is a traitor to Soul Society, and he must be destroyed."

"With all due respect, Nii-sama," Rukia parried as she fought to keep her voice calm, "I disagree. I think that Ichigo is still our best hope of defeating Aizen, whether Soul Society believes that or not."

"Your misguided infatuation for that boy is blinding your judgment, Rukia."

"My 'infatuation'?" she spat, unable to keep her rising rancor completely out of her voice. "It's more than that; much more. He loves me, brother, and I him."

"You are but a child, Rukia," Byakuya answered with the same calm as always, "and can not claim to know of love."

"How can you claim to know of it?" the younger Kuchiki practically snarled. "You haven't loved anyone since Lady Hisana—"

"Bite your tongue, Rukia."

The venom in the reply made the violet-eyed Soul Reaper shut her mouth so fast she almost sprained her jaw. Byakuya took a calming breath, pausing for a few heartbeats before continuing.

"I do not care if your impressionable mind believes that the boy loves you. Such blind affection is meaningless next to the stability of Soul Society as a whole. For your sake, however, I hope that you do not love him as you claim to, Rukia," the Captain finished, "because Kurosaki is a traitor, and anyone who stands beside him will perish as he does."

"When the time comes, I will stand with him," Rukia said, determination bleeding from every word. "Would you kill me then, Nii-sama? Would you strike me down?"

The Captain's hard eyes flared as he replied, the venom present earlier rising again.

"Pray that we never meet again," Byakuya half-hissed. "Because as of this moment, you are no longer my sister. Know that I have as few qualms with slitting the throat of a traitor as I do with destroying a Hollow, girl. Farewell."

With that, the Kuchiki Captain vanished into thin air and Rukia felt her legs begin to give way as the weight and finality of those words slammed into her like a hammer-blow. She knew that Byakuya would avoid that next encounter for as long as he could, but she also knew, from the look that had shone in his eyes, that he was serious about his threat. The next time they met, he really would fight her.

And she would die.

Collapsing to her knees, the violet-eyed Soul Reaper broke down as one of her few remaining pillars of support crumbled beneath her, leaving a void in her soul that would never really heal. She felt that much closer to being the forsaken rat again that she had been before meeting Renji all those years ago, and that terrified her. As she wept, Rukia felt another presence appear behind her, this one much warmer than Byakuya's had been. Strong hands gripped her shoulders gently and pulled Rukia to her feet, before she let herself be pulled into a comforting embrace.

"Don't worry, princess," Isshin said as the last tears eased themselves from her eyes, "don't worry. As long as my son and I are alive, you will never be alone. I promise you that."

Rukia turned around in the hug and reciprocated the gesture, holding on to Isshin like he was her last tether to life itself. As the elder Kurosaki waited patiently for the distraught Soul Reaper to calm down, his eyes looked off into the distance and became suffused with scorn.

Byakuya, you little bastard, he thought. How could you break your own sister's heart?

The next morning dawned bright and cheery in the Human World. It was a stark contrast to the haggard look on Rukia's face as she lay in bed, red streaks down her cheeks and dark bags under her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was move, let alone fight Hollows in duels to the death. Byakuya's parting words still echoed in her head, penetrating her heart like salt being ground into a wound. As she contemplated how to call in sick to someone like Soi Fon, a knock on the door of her room jolted her out of her thoughts.

"Come in," she called out weakly, assuming it was Yuzu or Karin. When a shock of dark, spiky hair poked into the room, followed by the rest of Kaien Shiba, Rukia's eyes went wide in shock and she shot up into a sitting position.

"K—Kaien-dono!?" she sputtered, the parts of her mind that still had enough energy to work taking a moment to reflect on how ridiculous she probably looked right now, decked out in children's pajamas. "What are you doing here?"

His look full of concern, the Lieutenant walked over slowly and sat down on the bed.

"You look like hell, Kuchiki," he said solicitously after a moment. "What did he say to you?"

Rukia arched a bewildered eyebrow.

"What did who say to me, Kaien-dono?"

Shiba's gaze turned serious.

"Your brother, Rukia. He was here last night, wasn't he?" The violet-eyed Soul Reaper nodded weakly. "So? What did he say to you?"

"He's going to kill me the next time he sees me," Rukia said ruefully, and Kaien smiled weakly.

"Well, I doubt he actually meant it…" the Lieutenant began consolingly, before Rukia cut him off with a hard look.

"Have you ever known Byakuya to speak lightly of these types of matters, Kaien-dono?" Pausing for a moment to steady herself before diving back into the unpleasant memories of the last night, Rukia took a deep breath and recounted the entire exchange between herself and her former adoptive brother. By the time she had finished, the look of concern in Kaien's eyes had shifted into one of cold, focused rage.

"I'm going to kill him," the Soul Reaper ground out, but Rukia shook her head.

"This is my problem, Kaien-dono," she said, "and I'll deal with it, somehow. If you go up against Byakuya, he'll kill you."

"Hey, it might not look like it, Kuchiki, but I have some tricks up my sleeves. Besides," he added in a sly tone, "I've been wanting to punch out that impertinent brat for at least a century. If you ask me, it's long overdue at this point."

Rukia let out a light chuckle at the thought of Kaien-dono knocking out Byakuya, but sighed as heavier thoughts made their presence known in her mind once again.

"What am I going to do if he tries to have me brought in on charges of treason, Kaien-dono?" the violet-eyed Soul Reaper asked, desperation creeping into her voice. "I don't think I can survive another execution."

"Don't be ridiculous, Kuchiki," Shiba replied with a scoff. "If anyone comes to bring you in, they'll have to go through me!" he finished, the typical Kaien bravado in his voice as he puffed his chest out dramatically. Rukia laughed genuinely at that, the ghost of a smile on her face.

"It's nice to know that at least one person is on my side, Kaien-dono."

Shiba grinned.

"You have a lot more than one person on your side right now, Kuchiki. And believe me when I say that I would rather have Ichigo watching my back than any Captain in Soul Society; if word reached Hueco Mundo that you were scheduled for an execution, that kid would rip the Seireitei to the ground to get you back."

"I know," Rukia said softly, her spirits rising slightly as she recalled the day that Ichigo had blocked the Sougyoku with a single zanpakuto. The look in his eyes at that moment had conveyed a promise that he would do whatever it took to keep her safe, and Rukia doubted that the carrot-top was going to be breaking that promise any time soon.

"Oh, and Kaien-dono?"

"Yeah?" Shiba asked as he stood up, offering Rukia his hand.

"Don't call me 'Kuchiki'. That's not my name any more."

"Sorry, Rukia," Kaien said with a chuckle as he pulled his student to her feet, "but I'm not making any promises. I'll try, but old habits die hard. Now," he finished with a grin, "what do you say we go hunt some Hollows?"

The violet-eyed Soul Reaper popped a Soul Candy into her mouth and shifted into her spirit form, light back in her eyes as she smirked mischievously at her superior.

"Try to keep up, Kaien-dono."

She was immediately gone in a burst of reiatsu, and the Thirteenth Division Lieutenant gave a wide smile.

"Good to have you back, Rukia," he said, before disappearing as well.

The next morning brought a moon rising over Hueco Mundo rather than a sun, and its glow was anything but cheery. As an ill feeling hung in the air, Aizen called Nnoitra Jiruga and Szayel Aporro Grantz into the throne room.

"Good morning, my dear Espada," Sosuke greeted cordially. "You may be wondering why I have called only the two of you here, and I shall explain that presently.

"I have become aware of certain feelings of… sedition in our ranks, to put it lightly. Unfortunately, it seems as though my faith in my new Lieutenant was grossly misplaced. He appears to think that he can bring me down, despite the obvious gap in strength that lies between us."

"And this concerns us how, Aizen-sama…?" Nnoitra asked, and Sosuke smiled.

"I intend to see just how far his loyalty to me and willingness to obey my orders can be stretched before it snaps. I also desire to see just who would follow him, in the event that he did succeed in breaking away from the forces of Las Noches and declaring civil war. Here is my plan…"

In the minutes that followed, the traitorous Soul Reaper explained his scheme to the psychotic Fifth Espada and the devious Eighth. By the end of it, Nnoitra's usual grin had grown to twice its normal size.

Finally, when Aizen gave the order to put this plan into motion, Jiruga would be able to give that green-haired bitch Oderschvank a piece of his mind.

A/N: Well, I hope that wasn't too dark for you guys. And I hate to say this, but next chapter, as you can probably tell, isn't going to be much happier. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed it. The first big arc that departs significantly from cannon is about to begin, so that should be exciting. Sorry this chapter was relatively short, but I didn't want to drag it out and kill the impact.

Oh, and as always, please review!