Author's Note: After one of the best/worst days of work ever I would like to dedicate this to my reviewers who, when I don't feel like typing another word, give me the motivation to go on. I would also like to add a very special dedication to Allie, who pretty much demanded that I update tonight ;-)

True North
By Jaclyn Parker

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.
-The Wonder Years
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"Dear God, Luv, are you sure you don't want to go back to California and bring back the rest of the damn state?" Lee groaned as he lugged the last suitcase into Milltown.

Carly laughed softly and just motioned for him to put it in the corner by the door. As he did, the kids plodded in and the exhaustion that Lee and Carly both felt was written all over their faces too.

"I think it's a good thing we stopped for fast food on the way home. It looks like an early night for everyone." Lee said even as Mattie leaned into his side sleepily. Sage was doing the same thing to Carly while both J.J. and Parker had already collapsed on the couch.

Again Carly laughed and then hugged her daughter to her side as she let loose a loud yawn. She couldn't blame anyone for being exhausted. Despite it being only a four hour plane ride, their flight had been delayed twice causing the take off time to be pushed back from noon until close to 2pm. Add up the time change and the wait to get everyone's luggage, plus the hour drive from the airport, it was already 8:45pm. It also didn't help matters that no one had really slept the night before. The mixture of excitement to go home and sadness of leaving California behind had been a powerful combination.

Even as Carly thought about her goodbye with Molly, her eyes welled up with tears. It was always hard to say goodbye to her "Cuz" but this time it seemed far worse. Carly knew that the last place Molly ever wanted to come back to was Oakdale, but she couldn't help but selfishly want her there while she faced this latest crisis.

Pushing back the instinct to lay her hand on her stomach, Carly turned to the boys on the couch and gently patted Sage on the thigh.

"Okay, troops. We can unpack tomorrow. I think now would be a good time for everyone to say goodnight."

In a move that just served to further cement Carly and Lee's suspicions that they were half asleep already, none of the kids protested. Instead Parker, J.J. and Sage mumbled something that seemed to resemble the words "Goodnight" as they headed upstairs. Mattie gave Carly a hug and then grabbing the keys from Lee, said that she was going to warm up the car.

"Ten bucks says that she's asleep before the defroster kicks in." Lee said as soon as Mattie was out the door.

"No bet." Carly replied and then sighed, rolling her neck. Lee looked at her closely and then frowned.

"There's something you're not telling me, Luv. What's up?" Lee asked and even though Carly knew that her secret would be safe with him, she held back.

"I'm fine. Just tired." Carly said and gave him a small smile. Lee knew that she was lying to him but he also knew that if she wanted him to know what it was, then she would tell him when she was ready.

"Okay, darling. Just remember that if you ever need anything all that you have to do is ask." Lee said and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I know." Carly leaned into him for a moment and pulled away. "Now go, before you have a popsicle for a niece."

"I'll call you tomorrow." Lee said and nodding she led him to and out the front door.

As she closed it behind him, Carly rolled her neck again and tried to rub some of the tension of the past few days away. As soon as she checked on the kids, there was definitely a bubble bath calling her name.

Turning from the door she noticed the blinking light of the answering machine. Hitting play, Carly finally took off her coat and moved to place it on the hook by the door. The sound of Jack's voice on the tape stopped her in her tracks.

"Hey, it's me. Um, I know Parker called me to let me know that you guys landed but I just wanted to make sure you got home okay. So, uh, just gimme a call when you get this. I'll be up. Bye."

Carly stared at the little blinking red light as it changed to a steady red glow, its job complete now that the message had been delivered.

A strong part of her wanted to pick up that phone instantly and call him back but a larger part resisted. It was the same part of her that had suggested to Parker that he call Jack to tell him that their flight had touched down. Carly knew it was cowardly but she couldn't help but think that the second she heard Jack's voice, she would just blurt out her news before she had fully considered the consequences.

But now Carly knew that she had no choice but to call him back. If the situation had been reversed she would have wanted to know that her kids were home safe.

With a sigh, Carly picked up the phone. Turning on the small porch lamp that stayed lit all night, Carly moved around the living room as she turned off the timers that had been set while they were away. The whole time her finger hovered over the speed dial button that corresponded to Jack's number.

Finally she headed towards the stairs and hit the button at the same time. It only rang twice before the line got picked up, startling Carly who thought she would have a little more time.

"Hello?" Jack's voice rumbled in her ear and Carly felt her breath catch in her throat. Even at that small word, her whole body shivered and a small smile couldn't help but form on her face.

"Hey, it's me." She said softly, moving towards Sage's room.

"Hey." Jack said, his voice slightly husky.

"Did I wake you?" Carly asked, pushing their daughter's door open.

"No, not really. I was just reading some files and I must have dozed for a second." Jack said and noting the softness of her voice he smiled. "Checking on the kids?"

"Yeah," Carly whispered back, although it wasn't necessary. Sage was completely dead to the world with her arms wrapped around a large Snoopy doll that Jack had given her for Christmas many years ago.

"Sage is out." Carly said and after kissing Sage's head gently she left, heading down the hall towards the boys' room.

Jack had helped them loft their beds like two top portions of bunk beds, one against each wall. Their desks were underneath their beds, leaving room for a small sofa under the window that faced a small entertainment center for their TV and gaming systems. Even though Carly insisted they keep their room relatively clean, it was always a gamble as to whether or not their clothes and other assorted possessions would make it where they belonged or on the floor.

Opening the door, she laughed quietly as she took in the sight, relaying it to Jack.

"Parker is asleep with a Sports Illustrated on his chest and J.J. is…" Carly started to say but Jack interrupted.

"Let me guess. Half hanging off the bed with his Xbox controller dangling from his hand and the game still running?" Jack said and at Carly's small laugh, he knew he was right.

After guiding the controller from J.J.'s hand and his leg back onto the bed in one smooth motion, Carly flipped the game system off. But she left the TV on an infomercial channel, knowing that they slept better with it the ambient noise.

Cutting out their light, Carly slipped back into the hallway.

"How was your flight?" Jack spoke up.

"It was okay. A little turbulence but, all in all, not too bad." Carly said, turning to go to the master bedroom.

"That's good. The kids sounded like they had a great time whenever I talked to them. How was seeing Molly?" Jack asked, the genuine curiousity and caring in his voice making Carly smile. If anyone knew how much Molly meant to her, it was Jack. He had seen the cousins at their strongest and at their weakest.

Carly was about to answer him but as she passed the small home office and guestroom she momentarily paused. They had finally discussed moving Parker into the guest bedroom over the upcoming summer and making the office into one instead. But now Carly stared at the small office, seeing it transformed into a nursery in her mind.

"Carly?" Jack asked and brought her out of her daze.

"What?" She asked and then frowned, trying to settle her thoughts so that she didn't say anything that she didn't mean to say. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm more tired than I realized."

"No, that's okay. Go ahead and get some sleep. Thank you for calling me." Jack said. "I was thinking of stopping by tomorrow on my way to work, if that's okay?"

"Of course, the kids would love it." Carly said and swung open her bedroom door. Flipping on the light, Carly froze in her spot and let out a soft gasp. "Oh my God, Jack. Did you…?"

At her reaction, Jack just smiled to himself and then whispered into the phone.

"Goodnight, Carly. Sweet dreams. I'll see you tomorrow."

Carly was vaguely aware of him hanging up on the other end, but her mind couldn't wrap around anything other than what she was seeing in front of her.

A bouquet of at least a dozen and a half red roses lay spread out on her bed, with an array of red petals encircling them. A small gift basket sat at the bottom of the stems with a card placed on top.

Moving closer Carly reached out a shaking hand to pick up the card, her eyes roaming over it all and taking in every detail. Dropping to the edge of the bed, she read the words that Jack had written in the formally blank card out loud.

"Carly, I know you must be tired so I wanted to make sure you relaxed before jumping head first again into taking care of everyone else. In this gift basket are your favorite bath salts and bubble bath. If you're surprised I remember the type you like, you shouldn't be. I have seen you take enough bubble baths over the years to know."

Carly blushed as she thought back to the first time that Jack had ever caught her in a bubble bath. She had never meant for him to be the one to wash her back that night as she had lay in wait for Hal. And in the end, as much as she had tried to deny that he wasn't the one she wanted, Carly hadn't been able to fool him...or her own body. Even now it sent an ache to the pit of her stomach as she thought back to how badly she had wanted Jack in that moment, despite how furious he had made her at the same time.

Carly shook herself and frowned as she continued to read.

"As for the flowers, I just wanted to let you know that even with everything that has happened between us, I still believe what I said to you the first time I ever gave you roses."

The note was simply signed with his name and stretching out a hand Carly touched the beautiful flowers with her fingertips. Picking one up and being mindful of the thorns, she inhaled the scent. It swirled around her and she closed her eyes, once again letting herself drift back in time to a memory of Jack in a hospital bed and their very first Valentine's Day together.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Jack's words echoed in Carly's mind and she felt the same panic that she felt then rising in her again. The feelings that she had discovered for Jack in Teague's cabin had scared her to her core and that day, realizing that Jack felt the same way, had caused her world to tailspin. It was the first time Carly had truly wondered if there was more to life than getting one over on her rich half-sister.

Jumping forward, Carly could never truly regret what had happened after that day since the end result was her amazing oldest son sleeping down the hall and try as she might she couldn't imagine her life without him. But every once in a while, late at night, Carly wondered what would have been if she had said no to Rosanna's deal and taken a chance on Jack in the very beginning.

"Oh G-man, what are you up to?" Carly whispered, sliding from the edge of the bed to sit on the floor, her head resting against the thick comforter. Clutching the card to her chest and holding the rose in the other hand she brought the velvety soft petals up to lay against her cheek.

Closing her eyes she tried to think of all the heartache that the recent years had brought when she was involved with Jack. It was a desperate attempt to try and refill the cracks in the walls surrounding her heart that this one tender act had caused.

But for every bad memory, two more good ones overshadowed it causing Carly to ask honestly admit to herself that she might be fighting a battle that she wouldn't ever be able to win.