True North
By Jaclyn Parker
"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them."
-Galileo Galilei
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By claiming the need to go to the grocery store about ten minutes before he arrived, Carly managed to evade seeing Jack the Saturday after they all returned from California when he stopped by to see the kids. She couldn't give him a chance to bring up the roses mainly because she wasn't ready to discuss how that gesture had made her feel.
Instead she was able to keep up the avoidance act for a whole three days before Jack called her on it. Granted it was over the phone while discussing the kids' after school schedules, but it was still enough to cause her momentary panic. Thinking on her feet, Carly just brushed it off by saying she had been very busy trying to get back into the swing of things with the club and the kids. Then she had immediately made up an excuse to get off the phone, leaving Jack calling her name in frustration just before she hung up.
Very early Thursday morning, Carly found herself hit with a powerful wave of morning sickness. It was so bad that she just ended up pulling a pillow into the bathroom and lying on the rug in front of the toilet, with a fleece blanket wrapped around her. After a particularly gruesome round, Carly was vaguely aware of someone knocking on her bathroom door.
"Mom?" Parker called. "Are you okay?"
Carly struggled catch her breath, as she tentatively sipped the bottle of water that was constantly by her side these days.
"I'm fine honey. I, uh, think I caught the flu." Carly said, pressing her cool hands to her cheeks to try and calm the heat that was radiating from them while also closing her eyes to reduce her slight dizziness. "Do, uh…do you think you could help get your brother and sister ready for school?"
"Yeah, sure. J.J. is already in the shower and I think Sage just woke up." Parker said as he leaned against the outside of his mom's bathroom door.
"Thanks, sweetie. Um, see if Sage can go over to Mrs. Rosen's to wait for the bus with Julie when you guys leave for school, okay?" Carly asked.
"No problem." Parker said and Carly waited until she heard his footsteps retreat from her room before she doubled over the toilet again. About 20 minutes later, Parker knocked again.
"Mom?"
"Yeah…yeah, honey?" Carly said, placing a hand over her eyes as she rolled onto her back on the floor.
"Um, the bus is going to be here to pick me and J.J. up in a few minutes. I walked Sage to Mrs. Rosen's house and she said that Sage could come over after school too, in case you weren't feeling better." Parker told her.
"That's great, Parker, thanks."
"Hey, Mom, you okay?" J.J.'s voice joined Parker's and Carly rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine. Like I told your brother, it's probably just the flu. Oh, J.J., don't forget that your dad is picking you up early for a dentist appointment and…" Carly started to say but groaned as another wave hit her.
Both J.J. and Parker frowned as they listened to the sounds of their mother getting violently sick.
"Mom, you really don't sound okay. I mean, I could stay home from school if you need me…" Parker began to say but even in her nauseous state Carly began to shake her head in the bathroom.
"Not a chance buddy, but nice try! Don't think I don't remember that you have that giant math review test today." Carly said, forcing her gag reflex to relax and fighting her stomach's insistence at bringing up everything she had eaten...ever. Even with a wooden door separating them, Carly could still feel Parker and J.J.'s reluctance to leave.
"Go to school, guys. I'll see you when you get home." Carly said firmly. The sound of the bus horn stopped any further arguments and she smiled faintly as they let out a combined loud sigh. After a quick goodbye she heard them run down the stairs and the front door slam shut, followed by the sounds of the school bus pulling away.
No longer able to resist the urge to throw up, Carly once again let her body take over. When she was done, she lowered herself back down to the makeshift bed she had created on the shaggy light blue bathroom rug. Carly didn't know how long she lay there, but she must have dozed off for the next thing she heard was more knocking on the bathroom door.
Groaning, Carly felt her body protest as she struggled to sit up.
"Parker, I swear, if you got off that bus and came back home…" Carly started to say.
"Carly? It's me. Are you okay?" Jack called and Carly froze in her attempt to sit up.
"Jack?" she asked in shock. "What…what are you doing here?"
"Parker called me from the bus. He said that you were really sick." Jack said and Carly felt panic rise.
"Jack, I'm fine. I, uh, it's just the flu. Really, I'm fine." Carly said but even as the words left her mouth, her stomach rolled. Apparently now that she was conscious enough to talk, her body had decided that she was conscious enough to be sick again.
"That doesn't sound like 'fine' to me." Jack said as he took note of the sounds of Carly finishing up her vomiting and then brushing her teeth. Testing the doorknob, he found that it was unlocked. "Carly, I'm coming in."
"No, Jack! I…" Carly started to protest, but the door was already opening as she spoke. He poked his head in and was met with a stubborn glare from the blonde as she sank back down to the floor.
Jack took in her appearance and felt his heart jump. She looked so fragile half-sitting, half-lying on the floor with a blanket around her shoulders. Despite the nice tan she had seemed to get out in California, her face was pale making her blue eyes stand out even more. The blonde curls were pulled up in a messy clip and Jack could see the exhaustion in her eyes.
"How long have you been in here?" He asked and Carly just continued to glare.
"I'm fine. Go home." She said simply, but Jack just rolled his eyes.
"Oh yeah, you look like a million bucks." He said and shaking his head moved towards her. "Come on."
Before Carly knew what was happening, Jack had swept her up into his arms and was making his way back into the bedroom.
"Jack, just what do you think you're doing?" Carly gasped out, her arms automatically wrapping around his neck to steady herself. In doing so, she found that her nose was inches from his, making Jack pause by the bed with their eyes locking. After a charged moment, Jack lowered her to the covers before reaching over her and tucking her in.
Carly was suddenly incredibly grateful for her decision to wear one of the only sets of plaid flannel pajamas she owned. They were large enough that they hid the small stomach bump that she had noticed yesterday when she was in the shower.
"I'm going to take care of you." Jack said, firmly.
"Jack…" Carly started to protest again, pushing herself up on her elbows, but he just shook his head.
"Look, you and I both know that you are a horrible patient when you're sick. I am not subjecting our kids to that kind of abuse." Jack said and Carly couldn't help smiling at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Are you sure you're not talking about yourself?" She asked and Jack smirked.
"I guess that's just one more thing we have in common." Jack said and Carly's smile slipped away.
Oh, Jack, you have no idea just how much we have in common these days. She thought as she mentally forced herself to keep her hand away from her stomach.
But all she said out loud was, "I guess so."
Jack studied her closely for a minute, sure that there was something different about her but he couldn't put his finger on it. When Carly returned his look with a confused and pointed stare, he shook himself.
"Okay, well I called the station and took the morning off." Jack said and Carly frowned.
"Jack, you shouldn't have done that. I'm…"
"...fine. Yeah, I know. We went over that already." Jack said causing Carly to make a face at him. However she didn't speak up and he continued. "Besides I already had the afternoon off because of J.J.'s dentist appointment so it's not a big deal."
Jack moved into the bathroom and Carly strained to hear his muffled voice, trying to figure out what he was doing. Moments later he emerged with the plastic trashcan from under the sink.
"I also called Lily and she's going to bring Sage back to the farm with her after the girls have their dance class. I told Parker to take Mattie's bus home, although I'm sure he was already going there anyway. I'll just have Lily grab him on the way back too."
"Why wouldn't they just come home?" Carly asked, slightly amused when he placed the trashcan by the edge of the bed.
"Well, I think it's probably a bad idea for the kids to stay here while you're sick. I mean, the last thing they need after school starting so late is to miss days anyway because of the flu. They can just stay at the farm for the next few days until the weekend is done and you're over the worst of it." Jack said and Carly had to admit that his logic was sound. Or it would have been if she really had the flu.
But since it was the only excuse believable enough to cover the morning sickness, she knew that she needed to play it to the hilt. Besides, after everything that had happened the past week in California and the way she had been feeling since she got home to Oakdale, maybe a couple days of rest without the kids around wouldn't be such a bad idea.
"Thank you, Jack." Carly said and then drew in a hitched breath as she felt her stomach clench again.
Jack noticed her blue eye widen and he bent over to place a hand on her forehead.
"Hey, relax. Just take deep breaths. You can't possibly have anything left to throw up, so right now it's just a left over muscle spasm. Come on, breath through it." Jack said and in an ironic twist, began to deep breath with her as if they were in a Lamaze class.
All Carly could concentrate on was how close Jack was to her and the way his warm brown eyes were looking at her in concern. She felt herself relaxing and sure enough, when Jack stopped the deep breaths she found that the nausea was gone. Carly sent him a grateful look and he smiled softly at her, gently tucking a loose curl behind her ear.
"You think if I made you something to eat, you could keep it down?" Jack asked, quietly. Carly thought a moment and then just nodded slightly. She was hungry and she knew that she had to at least try to eat, for the baby's sake if not her own.
"Okay, soup it is. Just not Beef Hungry Chunk, right?" Jack stood and Carly's amused eyes followed him with a hint of a blush on her cheeks.
"Right." Carly replied and with a small wink Jack headed downstairs, closing the door only halfway in case she needed to call him.
Ten minutes later and a lot of minor cursing, Jack had managed to find a can of chicken noodle soup and properly heat it up, while also making her a couple pieces of toast. He placed a cup of ginger tea on the tray along with the food and then smiled as he noticed the bouquet of roses on the dining room table. Finding a small, single flower vase in one of the cabinets, he placed one long stemmed rose in it and added it to the tray. It was as vibrant as the day he had brought them over and it warmed him to know that even though she hadn't mentioned the flowers past that night, she had obviously taken great pains to keep them alive.
Balancing the tray and pushing open the door, Jack paused as he looked at Carly. She was burrowed into the bed, fast asleep, with her golden hair now spilling from the clip and onto her pillow. She had dragged the small trashcan from the bathroom nearer to where her head lay, but when Jack got closer he was happy to note that it was empty.
Looking down at the tray, Jack shrugged. He would rather have her sleep now and he could always make her something else later, especially now that he was able to navigate the kitchen again. Taking the vase he put it on the nightstand so that when she woke up it would be the first thing that she saw. Jack did a double take as he noticed the only other thing on the nightstand besides her alarm clock and a bottle of water, was a recent framed picture.
It hadn't been there on Friday when he had arranged the roses on her bed, which meant she had gotten it developed over the weekend. Placing the small dinner tray down, he lifted the picture up and studied it, a smile lighting his face.
It was from Christmas Eve with Jack and Carly on the couch, Sage between them, J.J. to the right of Jack, and Parker on the left of Carly. They were all in mid laugh because when Emma had snapped the picture Holden had just stepped on one the donkeys from Ethan's Fisher Price Farm and was doing an interesting dance while trying not to curse.
Carly shifted in her sleep, a soft whimper on her lips. Jack looked over at her and noticed that her brow was furrowed and she wore a frown. Whatever she was dreaming about, it wasn't good. Jack placed the photo down and laid his hand on her hair. Stroking it gently away from her face, he bent down to kiss her forehead.
"Shhhh, you're okay." Jack whispered and almost immediately Carly seemed to relax. He laid his cheek against hers for a moment and then stood up straight. Picking up the tray again he made his way back downstairs, the scent of her vanilla and strawberry shampoo clinging to him.
Jack polished off what was supposed to be Carly's food rather quickly, read the newspaper, and even watched some sports highlights before he admitted to himself that he was utterly bored. Divine intervention seemed to strike as the ice maker in the freezer suddenly began making a noise similar to a fire breathing dragon. Jumping off the couch Jack decided it was high time he did some maintenance around the house that he hadn't really ever had time to do before.
It was almost one in the afternoon when he glanced down at his watch again. Edging out from where he was now tightening the pipes under the sink, Jack remembered that he had to pick up J.J. for his dentist appointment in an hour. Looking down at his messy clothes, Jack frowned and hastily put his tools away before heading to use the kids' bathroom.
It was only when he emerged from the hot shower that he realized he hadn't brought the overnight bag that normally stayed in his car inside. The only other place that he knew he had spare clothes was in the master bedroom closet where Carly had kept a few of his things in the back.
Drying off briskly and wrapping his towel around his waist, he padded silently back into the room while making sure he stayed as quiet as possible. Rummaging around in the walk in closet he found a couple of his dress shirts, a pair of dark blue jeans, and a pair of black dress slacks.
Grabbing the pair of jeans and one of the shirts, Jack backed out of the closet. He turned and stopped short upon seeing Carly staring back at him.
Her observant blue eyes traveled from his damp hair to his chest then down to where his one hand was holding the towel in place, low around his hips, before moving back up to his face. He saw her cheeks darken and she blinked up at him slowly, the sleepiness that was there replaced by something else that made him swallow hard.
"What are you doing?" She asked quietly.
"I, uh, needed a change of clothes after my shower." Jack said, holding up the shirt and jeans in his other hand as if to show her proof.
"I see." Carly said, still not moving in the bed. She seemed perfectly content to just stare up at him from her pillow. "And why did you need to take a shower?"
"Ahem," Jack replied, clearing his throat, and shifted as her eyes roamed over him again. "I, um, I was fixing some stuff around the house and got dirty."
"I see." She repeated and then fell silent. Jack waited a few moments in the silence and then took the opportunity to hold up the clothes again.
"This is one of my favorite shirts, by the way. Why do you still have it?" Jack asked.
"It looked better on me." Carly said calmly and gave a small shrug under the covers. Jack's mouth went dry as he looked at the deep, sapphire blue, button down shirt again and remembered the last time he had worn it.
It had been from that last real Valentine's Day together. Back before the Nick Kasnoff fiasco, along with Jack's ego, had dictated one of the worst decisions of his life; going through with the divorce from Carly.
That Valentine's Day, after they had come home from her surprising him at the police station, Carly had pretty much ripped the shirt off of him in record time. Not that Jack had minded since he pretty much did the same thing with her seductive little outfit. And later on, after he had given her the necklace he had bought her and they had made love a second time on the couch, Carly had forgone putting her red satin robe back on, opting for his button down instead.
Jack remembered clearly that, of all the things that happened that night, watching her sashay up the stairs in just his shirt with her derriere peeking out from under the tail of it had been probably one of the most blood pumping images he had ever seen. He didn't even know if his feet had touched more than two stairs in total as he had laughingly chased after her. Upon finally catching her at the foot of their bed, that favorite shirt of his had quickly found its way to the floor as he showed her again just how much he loved her.
Coming back to the present, Jack was aware that he was standing in front of Carly in nothing but a towel. He was also aware that if they kept talking like this and she kept staring at him the way she was, he would have a growing problem underneath that towel.
Clearing his throat again, Jack shifted while trying to ignore the lower half of his body.
"I'm gonna, um, go get dressed and heat up your soup. You still think you can eat?" Jack said, purposely focusing on the fact that Carly was sick instead of how he could see the top of her pajamas gaping open slightly before the blankets on the bed covered the rest of her up.
She frowned in confusion and then remembered why Jack was there in the first place. Eye widening, Carly's hand touched her stomach gently under the covers and bit her lip. But Jack only saw her facial movement and took it to mean that she was apprehensive about eating.
"You really should try since you haven't eaten all day. Just a little soup and maybe some toast?" Jack said and Carly nodded. "Okay, I'll be back in a bit."
Carly watched him leave and then let out a huge sigh when she heard him head into the boys' room to change. The image of him standing in what was once their bedroom together, dripping wet and in only a towel had caused a surge of heat from the very bottom of Carly's toes. Apparently even being pregnant and having horrible morning sickness hadn't curbed her desire for Jack Snyder. In fact, she could have sworn it had only enhanced it. Carly closed her eyes and took deep breaths, trying to calm her body down. As she did, she forced herself to think about something else, anything else, other than pulling Jack down into this bed with her and having her way with him.
"Well, that's one way for him to find out about this baby." Carly laughed wryly to herself. Jack knew her body so intimately that even the throes of passion wouldn't be able to stop him from discovering her secret. Laughing again, she took in another couple of deep breaths to starve off the hysteria that threatened to over take her.
"Nauseous again?" Jack's voice startled her when she was in mid breath and her eyes flew open to see him standing in the doorway with a tray in his hands.
"Um, yeah, a little. I'm fine now." Carly said and Jack raised an eyebrow at her choice of words. She gave him an exasperated look and half-smiled, sitting up in the bed. "No, really, I'm fine. And hungry too."
Jack moved forward to place the tray on the night stand before helping her place a pillow behind her back. Carly sighed and indulged him, wiggling into the bed properly as he put the tray across her legs.
"I've got to go take J.J. to the dentist, but I'll be back soon okay?" Jack said and Carly looked up at him.
"No, Jack, really please don't. Just take him back to the farm with you and I'll call you in a couple days to let you when you can bring the kids back over."
"Carly, would you let me stay by myself if I was sick?" Jack asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Yes, if you asked me to." Carly said and Jack just continued to stare at her until she sighed again, rolling her eyes. "All right, maybe not."
"See?" Jack said and smirked in triumph.
"But you would be arguing too so don't look so smug, Jack." Carly said and almost smiled back. She immediately distracted herself by tasting the soup and nodding in surprise. "Not bad."
"I can cook, thank you very much. Most times, better than you." Jack pointed out and Carly just made a noncommittal noise.
Suddenly Jack's face grew serious and he reached out a hand to run his index finger down the side of Carly's face. Her heart began to pound and she bit the inside of her cheek as she resisted the urge to lean into his touch.
"Let me take care of you, okay?" Jack said softly and Carly felt her resolve slip that much more.
It would be so easy to say yes; to let him pamper her like he used to do before their lives turned into chaos.
But then, who was she kidding? Their lives almost always turned into chaos when they were together and just because he was here now when he thought she was sick, didn't mean he would be there when the times got tough again. He had proven that in more serious situations than her having "the flu"; the instance in the cave with Nick immediately springing to her mind.
Those thoughts brought her back to the place she needed to be and gathering her strength, she put on a falsely cheerful tone.
"No really, Jack, it's okay. Lee is done work in a little bit and he's coming over to be with me." Carly said, focusing on eating her soup instead of having to look at Jack's face.
"How does he know you're sick?" Jack asked, his voice skeptical.
"I called when you were downstairs just now. He said he'll be over as soon as his shift ends to do whatever it takes to make me feel better." Carly said, intentionally putting a double innuendo to her words.
"Oh." Jack said and even without looking up at him, she could hear the hurt and disappointment in his tone. Then a hint of anger slipped in as he added, "And who better than your handsome doctor boyfriend to take care of you, right?"
Telling herself not to cry at what she was doing, she nodded.
"Yep." Carly said and bracing herself she finally lifted her head, pasting a smile on her lips. "But thanks for doing all of this though, Jack. It was really sweet."
Jack blinked and then put a false smile on his own face. He would be damned if he let her see how much her blasé words were affecting him.
"Of course. Anytime." Jack said and then hitched his thumbs over his shoulders. "I better go. J.J.'s teeth await."
He moved towards the door and despite Carly feeling that she was doing what she had to do, she realized that she couldn't leave it like that.
"Jack, wait." She said and he turned to look at her. Meaning it from the bottom of her heart she added, "Really…thank you for today."
But Carly could tell that the damage had already been done when Jack just shrugged.
"Nothing Lee wouldn't have done if he had been here, right?" Jack said jokingly and Carly winced inwardly at the slightly caustic edge to his statement. "Just, get some sleep okay? I'll tell the kids you'll call them tonight if you feel up to it."
Carly could only nod, not trusting herself to not cry if she spoke, and then watched as he slipped out the door. A few minutes later she heard the front door close followed by the sound of his car driving away.
The smell of the soup in her lap was longer appetizing to Carly at all. In fact, the baby must have agreed because once again her stomach did a complete flip. Placing the tray as far away from her on the nightstand as she could, Carly tried the technique that Jack had shown her. Picturing his face and the sound of his voice, she breathed deeply. Within minutes the nausea was gone.
Closing her eyes tightly, tears slipped out from the corners and slid down her cheeks. Even when he wasn't with her, he still managed to make her world okay.
"Oh, God, help me." She cried softly and placed her hands over her face. Just when she thought she had a grip on the right thing to do, her world would tilt on its axis and up would suddenly be down.
And right now, Carly was hanging on by a thread.
"Baby, is your mommy being an idiot?" Carly asked softly, touching her stomach. She obviously didn't expect an answer but apparently the baby had other idea. An enormous wave of nausea hit Carly again and despite her trying the breathing technique Carly knew this time it wasn't going to be ignored.
"Touché, Baby." Carly managed to get out as she once again bolted for the bathroom."Touché."