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Chapter 2 - More than just friends?

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It will be as if I'd never existed. That's when I woke up screaming again. The nightmare was nagging at my mind and making me think about things that would cause me pain. I didn't want to remember the forest. Even as I shuddered away from the images, I felt my eyes fill with tears and the aching begin around the edges of the hole in my chest. After a year, the pain could still cripple me.

I got out of bed intending to cook Charlie breakfast before he went to work but he had already gone. I felt guilty; I was putting Charlie through so much pain. How could I be so selfish? I knew how he had worried about me; how he still worries about me. I didn't like to dwell on it so I got dressed and headed for school.

Forks High School, not the happiest place for me. On my first day I had wished to be invisible, to be ignored. I was getting that wish a year too late. It was like I wasn't even there, even my teachers' eyes slid past my seat as if it were empty. I still sat with Angela, Mike and Jessica, although the rest of them didn't really try to communicate with me anymore. I was kind of glad that Mike had given up harassing me and Angela's sympathy just brought tears to my eyes. School, so frustrating.

The end of the day was my saviour; it meant I could go see Jacob. I pulled into the drive and saw as usual that he was in his garage with Quil and Embry working on his motorbike.

"Bella!" they announced grandly. Quil pulled me into a tight hug which could have broken me.

"Quil! can't...breathe!"I managed to breathe out.

"Oops...sorry" he smiled a little as he let me go.

Embry smiled a shy smile and waved. "Hey Bella". Quil was staring at me which made me feel a little bit uncomfortable, "We were just leaving, so we'll see you soon Bella!" He turned and actually winked at Jake! "Good luck, we'll talk to you later". I waited until they were out of earshot, "What was that about?"

"Umm...Nothing, come for a walk with me?" He sounded nervous. That was it, the fear gripped my stomach; I had heard those words before. Jake was leaving me, he promised he wouldn't! As we walked along the beach I had to work hard to stop myself hyperventilating.

"Bella..." He turned and his face froze as he took in my expression, "Bells, what's wrong?!"

"Please...don't...leave me" I managed to stutter out as I felt the tears welling up. I fought against them while he stepped towards me and enveloped me in his arms.

"Bells, don't be so silly, I'm never going to leave you!" I looked up and saw he was smiling at me, "Is that what you were nervous about?" He laughed a little as he finished.

"I just thought...you...because" I couldn't say it without mentioning him. "I'm sorry" I said sincerely as I looked down at my feet.

"Bells," He said softly as he pulled my face up to see into my eyes. I couldn't place the emotion in his...longing? I realised I must look a mess.

"Are you happy Bells?" I thought about this, I didn't want to be honest because I didn't want him to know I was broken. "I mean here with me?" He asked with a nervous glint in his eye.

"Yes...You hold me together, you're...you're my best friend" I said as I realised how stupid I had been to think he was going to leave me. He smiled that smile I loved, my Jacob, cheeky but kind. His eyes wandered over my face down to my lips and I caught on; why Quil had wished him luck and winked, why he seemed nervous. It made sense now but did I want this?

He pulled me into his chest a little bit more, heat emitting off him, wave after wave. He wrapped his arms tighter around almost as if he didn't want me to struggle. Before I had decided if I wanted this or not he brought my hand up to his warm cheek.

In that moment I realised that why wouldn't I want this? Jacob was my best friend, my rock and my reason for living at the moment, my own personal sun. I smiled and placed my other hand on his waist, "It's okay Jake, I want you to kiss me". His face lit up but before I could react, his lips were on mine and he pulled me tighter into his body. This wasn't like kissing him, no gentleness or fear; it was just full of love...and lust. I kissed him back with every bit of passion I could muster, my hands moved and twisted in his hair while his slid down the small of my back. The roughness of his lips surprised me; they were not cold or hard but warm and soft. The difference shocked me and I pulled him tighter to me even though I couldn't have got much closer. I felt warmness fill my stomach and I pulled away so we could breathe; looking at the giant smile on his face I blushed.

"You look so cute when you do that" he smiled at me. He walked towards the fallen log at the end of the beach, grabbing my hand as he went. He sat down and pulled me onto his lap.

"So, how's Charlie?" he asked while I wondered how there was no awkwardness.

"Oh no! Charlie! He doesn't know where I am! I have to go". I got up and started towards my truck. Jake grabbed my hand and walked with me.

"Do you have to?" he asked while pouting out his lower lip. I laughed and was surprised by the sound coming out of my mouth. This always happened; it shocked me that I could make this kind of outburst, that I could be happy.

"I have to but I'll see you tomorrow" I got into my truck as he leaned in and pecked me on the lips.

"You better, I don't think I can handle the stick off Quil and Embry on my own" he chuckled and I could feel my face go bright red which made him keel over with laughter.

"I'll see you tomorrow" I said again as I pulled out of the drive. I was glad for the ride home alone; it gave me time to think. Did I want to be with Jake? Could I be with him that way? These thoughts swan round my head and before I knew it I was back in the house. Luckily Charlie wasn't home yet, must be on a late shift.

I carried on as normal; I finished my English essay and cooked dinner for Charlie which I left on the stove for him. I was so bored on my own so I settled on an early night thinking the sooner tomorrow came and the quicker it went, the better my day would be once I saw Jake.

Boy, was I so wrong!

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Right I am not going to update unless I get some reviews/feedback!!!! Pleaseee :D

And the next chapter gets good...hmmm I wonder who's back ;) ??? Reunion coming up anyone??

Let me know if you want Bella to choose Edward or Jacob :D

ANY IDEAS LET ME KNOW :D