Damage Control

"Please," Alex asked her as quietly as she could. "Elliot Stabler called me here. I work with the detectives. I need to see Olivia Benson."

"And I need a break honey." The nurse said.

"The officer, the one that was brought in here. I need to see her." Alex said, deciding to ignore the rude comment.

"And you are?"

Alex took a deep breath. "I'm an Assistant District Attorney, Alexandra Cabot" she said, reaching for her bag searching for an ID. "I work with them. Please." She said desperately.

"Detective Stabler has told us you'd be coming." She said. "He's been adamant about it. Alexandra Cabot. I was to be looking for you specifically. It was the only way he'd settle down long enough to stitch him up. They're all waiting back this way," the nurse suddenly smiled and pointed her towards double doors that quickly buzzed open.

Alex stepped through and scanned the room for Elliot. She identified people that she knew, people from her office and officers milling in the hallways. In a quiet corner were Fin and Munch, sitting together. Neither were speaking, both of them staring into space. Quickly deciding that neither Elliot nor Olivia was there, she walked over to Fin and Munch, carefully wiping tears from her eyes.

"Where's Olivia?" She asked.

They both looked at each other and looked back at her. Neither answered. She waited impatiently, unable to understand why neither of them could understand while both of them looked into her face for the reason that she looked so frantic. "They haven't updated us yet." Fin said slowly.

Alex could feel the tears forming in her eyes. They were tears that she didn't wish to shed. "Do you know anything?" she asked.

"Elliot said the paramedics got her out. She was conscious on the scene but…"

"I need to see her. I need to talk to her." Alex felt the desperation in her voice. She forced herself to clear her mind. She forced herself to stop. She needed to stay calm.

"She wasn't conscious by the time they got her here Alex. We all want to see her. Trust me, Stabler tried to be in there with her," Fin says slowly.

"You don't understand," She sighed, feeling the intense pressure of the emotions bubbling inside her threatening to spill out.

"Care to explain?" Munch asked, curiously.

"I," Alex started.

"Who called you?" Fin asked.

She ignored him. "Elliot? Do you know where he is?"

"He's getting stitched up. IAB is with him." Fin said.

"They're making him give a statement now?" She asked with total disbelief.

"Company car, pretty sure there's not going to be a problem. Witnesses saw the other guy run the red. They're running a blood test now. " Fin shrugs.

"The other guy was drunk?"

"Looks that way." Munch broke in.

"Was the guy hurt?" Alex asked.

"Apparently not. He'll be spending tonight on the state's dime."

"And Elliot's okay, right? He didn't' tell me that he was hurt."

"Little banged up. Got some cuts to his face. Needed some stitches." Fin said.

"There was nothing he could do. He's beating himself up already over it though." Munch said, quietly.

"I need to see him." Alex said, too desperately. Suddenly, even though she was surrounded by people she trusted and respected, she felt suddenly alone. The two people in the world who knew how badly her world was falling apart were the two people who she couldn't have.

"Alex, he's with…" Fin started, staring at Munch with an upraised eyebrow.

"I need to see him." She demanded again.

Munch shrugged, "This way, Counselor."

Elliot sat quietly on a gurney. A doctor stood in front of him with a suture kit, with a nurse on each side of him to keep him still while the doctor pulled stitches through a gash on Elliot's head. Two guys in suits stood in front of nurses, their arms crossed in front of them with a smug indifference that only served to further make Elliot's blood boil.

He already knew that he would live with the events of the last hour for the rest of his life. Like every other horrible moment of his life, Olivia's lifeless body being pulled from a pile of metal would be seared into his brain with a vivid clarity. The color of her blood would stain his clothes, the sound of her scream would pierce his ears, and the empty feeling of being the one who was now sitting here with minor injuries while she laid unconscious somewhere else would never again leave his soul.

"The light was green." Elliot repeats. He can't understand why they can't understand. He's willing to take full responsibility. He's willing to take the other guys responsibility. He knows that no matter what, he will have been driving that car. If only…

"But you were running hot," the IAB officer asks.

"Yes, but the light was green. The intersection was clear. The guy came out of nowhere" Elliot says again as the moments before the crash run through his mind in a haze. He remembers Olivia's voice in his head, "It's clear." Did he really look? Was it clear? He couldn't remember now. All he could remember was the clashing metal and the horrible paleness of Olivia's skin.

"Is it possible that you were so focused on the chase that you didn't see…"

"Elliot," Alex cried out, as she saw him across the room. Elliot turned his head to see the tear stained face of Alexandra Cabot. Suddenly, he realized the entirety of his mistake. It wasn't just one life he ruined. He felt the weight of another life that he had taken away in a split second fall onto his shoulders. She needed to be with him but he needed to be away from her. For Alex, he was the only tangible link between her and Olivia. For him, he was the only tangible link between ruining both of their lives.

"Alex," He said, trying to stand, nurses on both sides of him pulling him back down onto the gurney. He watched as she nearly started to run to him. He was surprised how young she looked, her hair pulled back in a sloppy pony tail, wearing drawstring pants and a hooded sweatshirt that he knew Olivia liked to run in. She walked up to him, looking into his face. He opened his arm to her, and she stepped into him.

"What happened?" she asked, letting the tears flow freely now. Elliot didn't say anything; he just held her close to him and let her cry. Elliot was surprised how small she felt in his arms, how delicate. He mourned inside while he felt her breaking in his arms.

Munch stood a few feet behind her and watched, uncomfortably realizing that there was more to this story than he knew. He frowned, not quite able to piece it together. Elliot caught Munch's eye and gestured him to leave. With a questioning look, he turned and left, watching over his shoulder as Elliot continued to hold Alex close to him.

"What?" Alex managed to gasp.

Elliot whispered quietly into her ear, "Alex, I'm so sorry."

"What happened Elliot? Is she okay?" Alex asked, panicked, his apology sounding like a final goodbye.

"She, we got hit, we were running hot, we were right behind him. We went through the intersection, and I just remember Liv…and, she must have seen it coming," he stopped. Elliot closed his eyes and was quiet for a moment trying to gather himself. He decided against telling her the worst parts. The white color of Olivia's face, the way she was gasping for air, the way her eyes had closed as the pain had overtaken her. "We got her out, Alex. The other guy hit us, but we got her out alive."

To Be Continued...