Author's Note: Hello! This will be my last chapter for a little bit since I am going on vacation. I hope you enjoy it because it started out one way and went in the complete opposite direction as this story has done several times. However, I really like how it ended up. Also, there is a part that I can't take full credit for since a variation of it did appear in the real show, but I "added" it here because it felt like it would fit so appropriately in this chapter. I'm sure you'll recognize it when you read it. LOL As always, please review to let me know if you liked it and I will "see" you when I get back!
~JP

True North
By Jaclyn Parker

"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination
and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your
angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength."
~August Wilson
***********************************************************************

Jack had seen Lee's car outside of the house when he pulled up, but the act of the other man opening the front door at Milltown was still unnerving. The two men regarded each other silently before Lee moved aside to let Jack in the house. Jack's hands curled into fists as annoyance spread through his body at Lee "allowing" him to enter his own home. But before he could mentally recognize that it wasn't truly his home anymore he caught sight of his sons hovering by Carly, who was still seated on the couch.

"What are you guys doing home? School's not out for another couple of hours." Jack said, glancing at his watch to affirm his statement.

"We heard about the bank." J.J. spoke up. "We wanted to make sure you were okay."

Jack looked surprised for a moment and then gave him a small smile.

"I'm fine. Once the main guy was down for the count, the rest of them were dumber than a bunch of rocks." He joked but the tension in the room didn't diminish much. He shrugged and nodded his head towards the door. "Seriously, guys, I'm fine. You should head back to school."

"Why? We both have a study period and then I just have math. And we're not doing anything in that class anyway." Parker said, giving him a normal teenaged look of rebellion.

"Yeah, I have chemistry, but my group already did the experiment last week so I was just observing." J.J. added.

"It doesn't matter. School is important. You need to..." Jack started to say firmly.

"Forget it, Dad! We're not going back. We're not leaving Mom…" Parker said and then stopped abruptly when he realized what he was saying. Casting a furtive glance to her semi-panic stricken face his eyes rose to meet the confused look of his father.

"Why? What's wrong? Is something going on that I don't know about?" Jack said, narrowing his eyes in the direction of his ex-wife and then sending out the glare to his sons and the still silent man standing by the front door.

"Look, everyone, just calm down okay?" Carly said and stood, holding up a hand. "Jack, they really only each have one class left, it's silly to send them back now."

"Carly…" Jack started to protest but she held up her hand again.

"Even though I'msure their teachers will excuse them, I will drive them to school tomorrow and explain it to the principal myself."

Without waiting to hear Jack's response she turned to face their sons. "But until then, I suggest you go upstairs and get started on the homework for the classes that you didn't miss today."

When both boys looked like they were going to argue she gave them the patented "Mom Look of Death" and they ended up just sighing loudly. Pivoting on their heels, they each grabbed their individual backpack from by the doorway and headed upstairs, muttering under their breath as they went. Jack couldn't quite interpret the looks that both J.J. and Parker shot him before they disappeared from sight but he knew he didn't like it.

"Okay, what is going on? And don't tell me 'nothing'." Jack said, placing his hands on his hips and frowning.

"Jack, I…we do need to talk." Carly said softly and sent a look to the other man the room. "But first, do you mind going and maybe making some tea while I let Lee out?"

Jack looked between her and Lee for a moment before he let out a giant huff and stalked into the kitchen. Carly closed her eyes and released the breath she didn't know she had been holding before opening them again and heading for the front door.

Lee had surreptitiously managed to place his black medical bag by the front door without Jack seeing it and now he picked it back up as he and Carly headed outside to the front porch.

The wind from earlier had died down but it was still chilly, causing Carly to wrap her arms around herself as she shifted from foot to foot in the cool March air.

"Thanks, Doc, for coming to my rescue." Carly said, smirking at the tall Australian in front of her. Then her expression turned to confusion and she tilted her head at him curiously. "What were you doing here anyway?"

"I was on my way to the hospital to get in some paperwork when I got caught by the roadblocks at the bank. I was about to take Clover Street to bypass Main when I saw Jack and Janet on the stairs…well, you know. A moment later they were driving away and I saw you bolting for your car. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that you saw what happened and when I couldn't get a hold of you on your cell, I followed you home to make sure you were okay." Lee said, shrugging. It truly had been a matter of being in the right place at the right time; at least where helping his best friend came into play.

"So now that you've given me medication, does this mean doctor-patient confidentiality applies to the situation?" Carly tried to joke, but he could tell that part of her was serious.

"Technically, yes. But you know I wouldn't tell anyway…unless your life was in jeopardy. And I still want you to go see Dr. Adams tomorrow, just to get an all clear, even though you're going to L.A., okay?" Lee said firmly.

"Yes, sir." Carly said, mock saluting before hugging her body again. But Lee didn't smile. In fact, he gave her a very serious frown instead.

"You need to remember to take it easy, Carly. If you feel yourself getting worked up, you must control it at all costs, do you understand?" Lee said and Carly gave him a wan smile.

"I understand, Lee. But I gotta tell you something." She said and raised an eyebrow. "I don't think I'll ever be able to be in a room with Jack Snyder and not have my blood pressure rise, due to one thing or another."

"Yeah, well, let's not test that theory today, okay?" Lee admonished and Carly let out a small chuckle.

"Okay, okay!" She said quickly. "I promise I'll try and stay as calm as possible."

Lee nodded and then cocked his head to the side, studying her intently. He knew she was trying to be strong but he also knew that this was going to be incredible hard for her to do.

"Are you going to be okay, Luv? Telling Jack that you are leaving but not the reason why?" Lee asked her and she shrugged with a small smile.

"I don't know." She said honestly and shrugged again. "But I don't think I really have a choice anymore. This baby…it deserves every chance I can give it to be born healthy and that means that I need to avoid as much stress as possible. And you and the boys are right; I don't think that can happen while I'm in Oakdale."

Lee hesitated; second thoughts about what he had suggested hitting him hard.

"But maybe J.J. was right in the beginning. What if Jack isn't back with Janet? Maybe…when you tell him about the baby, he'll be just as happy as you are and you two can be together again."

"Jack's happiness about my being pregnant was never the issue. He loves being a father and I have no doubt in my mind, whatsoever, that Jack will be completely thrilled about this baby. I never did." Carly said, smiling softly as she looked down at her stomach. Now that she was standing the sweater she wore lay so that it hid her gently rounded stomach; another one of the tricks of fashion that Carly had been so artful at using lately. A warm glow spread through her as she thought of one good thing that came from staying in Los Angeles for the next few months.

No one knew her out there except a very select few. She would be able to wear what she wanted; to show off the life growing inside of her that she knew was created out of love no matter what the surrounding circumstances.

But those warm thoughts slid away as she re-focused on Lee's words.

"But, it was Parker who was right." Carly sighed and leaned against the porch railing briefly, her eyes sad. "I wouldn't want Jack to come back to me that way. Maybe if I hadn't gotten pregnant, we might have been able to start again without any strings but not now. Now if he came back to me I would just wonder if it was because of the baby. And while it might have been a good enough place to start once, it's just not enough anymore. I need Jack to love me for me, not because he feels 'responsible' for me and our kids."

Lee frowned and moved closed, wrapping his arms around her. "Okay, Sweetheart. I just want you to be happy."

"I know, Lee." Carly said, hugging him back. She pulled away and leaned up to kiss him at the corner of his mouth, quickly and softly. "I love you, you know that?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say." He teased, but tweaked her nose before winking and grabbing his bag from the porch floor. "I'll call you later, okay?"

She nodded her head, waving as he got into his car and drove away. The smile that was on her lips faded as she turned towards the front door. Taking a deep breath, she headed back inside to face Jack.

Carly was startled to find him standing with his back to her, staring at the pictures on the mantle. By the way he was concentrating, Carly could tell that he had been there a while and had not overheard her conversation with Lee, something that had occurred to her only when she had re-entered the house.

A mug of steaming hot tea rested on a coaster on the coffee table and Carly could see that Jack held one of his own. She walked to the couch and settled into the cushions, reaching for her cup.

"Thanks for making the tea." She said making Jack jump slightly. Turning, he looked at her in mild surprise.

"I didn't hear you come back in." He admitted his eyes far away in thought. He turned back to the fireplace and lifted a picture with his free hand. "This is a good picture of all of us."

Carly glanced at the one he held and smiled. "It's one of my favorites."

"You know, I never even saw you coming with that piece of cake." Jack chuckled at the memory.

"Serves you right! You were going to try to do the same thing to me!" Carly said, her eyes twinkling.

Jack laughed loudly this time and glanced over at her. "I think the kids were laughing so hard that they actually snorted soda."

"Yeah, well…they learned that kind of behavior from you." Carly said, sipping her tea in mock offense.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He blinked innocently, making Carly laugh into her tea. He grinned at her and turned to replace the picture. "Just don't try anything like that at my birthday dinner next week."

Carly's smile immediately disappeared and she placed her mug down.

"Jack, please sit down. There…there's something I have to talk to you about."

Grabbing one of the sofa pillows, she placed it in her lap and proceeded to play with a loose thread hanging from it. Not only did this action keep her focused but the pillow also served as an additional barrier between her...her stomach more specifically...and Jack as he also sat down on the couch.

"Something is going on. What is it?" Jack demanded, his gaze intense.

"I don't…I don't know how to say this…"

"Carly, just tell me. You're starting to scare me." Jack said reaching out to still her hand on the loose thread. When Carly tried to pull her hand away, his grip just tightened.

"There won't be any birthday dinner, Jack. I've decided to accept that design job in L.A. and I'm leaving as soon as possible." Carly said as quickly as she could get the words out and still be comprehensible.

"What?" Jack exclaimed but she knew he had understood her when he dropped her hand like a hot potato. "What are you talking about?"

"The job to create the fall youth collection for MoJo Designs. Don't you remember me telling you about it?" Carly said and Jack frowned.

"Yeah, I remember. You met the lady in a store in L.A. and she recognized you from BRO. Then she offered you a job designing for her, right?" Jack asked and Carly nodded, biting her lip. It was as close to the truth about the circumstances of the meeting as she could have told him. He shook his head in confusion. "But I thought you turned her down. You said you couldn't possibly go that far away, for that long."

'I changed my mind. It's too good of an opportunity to pass up." Carly told him as he stood up from the couch and started to pace slightly in front of the fireplace.

"But what about the kids?" Jack asked and she frowned.

"I already talked to J.J. and Parker about it and they are okay with me going. In fact, they want me to go. We're...um, we're going to tell Sage tonight at dinner." Carly said and looked up at him, her eyes following his movements.

"That's great, Carly. And when were you going to tell me, huh?" Jack paused and glared at her.

"I'm telling you now, Jack! I know it was a last minute decision and I'm sorry about that, but it's the right one for me." Carly said, glaring back.

"According to who? To you? To Lee?" Jack spit out, pointing towards the front door. "Is he going to be out there with you while you leave our kids behind again?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Jack's gaze flew to Carly's wounded face. His eyes closed in instant regret and he ran a hand over his face. Opening them he made his way to sit down on the couch again, wincing as Carly drew away from him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that." Jack said, the sincere regret in his eyes cooling the hurt in Carly's heart a bit. But that didn't stop the tremble in her body or the pain in her voice when she spoke.

"Yes, you did, Jack."

"No, I…I don't know why I can't…" Jack tried to find the words to explain. He raised his gaze to face and shook his head. "I really have forgiven you for that, Carly. It's just…I remember how I felt when I knew you were leaving on that plane with him. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and now, I guess I just feel like it's happening all over again with…"

Jack trailed off and Carly placed a hand on his cheek, her thumb brushing away a lone tear that escaped to run down his face. While his previous words still left an ache in her heart, this was really the first time that he let her see how much her leaving with Simon had actually hurt him.

"No, Jack, Lee is staying here. His life is in Oakdale and so is mine, eventually. But right now, this is something that I have to do."

"Carly, you know I have never discouraged you from designing. Never. Your choice in business partners, yes, but never your ability to create amazing fashion collections." Jack said causing Carly to smile.

"I know." She said, her thumb caressing his cheek reflexively.

"But why now? The kids told me that woman has called you almost every weekend since you've been back, even after you said no, and you still refused the job. What's changed your mind so suddenly?" Jack asked and Carly dropped her hand from his face, looking down and playing with the loose thread of the pillow again.

"Nothing, in particular. I just re-thought all my options, that's all."

"Come on, Carly. I know you better than that." Jack scoffed and shook his head. He sent her a thoughtful look and gave a small smile. "Besides, I thought that we were…I don't know. I thought things were getting better between us."

"Yeah, I thought so too." Carly said, the mental image of Jack and Janet from earlier flashing in her mind. Needless to say, the sarcastic bite in her words did not go unrecognized.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jack asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Nothing." Carly said, it being her turn to shake her head.

Jack frowned and just stared at her a moment. A sudden tug on his recent memory made his eyes look to the coat hooks by the door. The red coat hanging up confirmed his suspicions and he looked back at her in surprise.

"It was you. You were there today, outside of the bank. Weren't you?" Jack said.

Carly didn't reply but he could see it written on her face. He thought back and rose quickly, moving back towards the fireplace. He shoved his hands in his pants pockets and sighed.

"Then you saw…"

As his words trailed off, Carly's eyes finally lifted to send a pain filled glare in his direction.

"Oh yes, Jack. I most definitely saw." She echoed his words and he shook his head.

"No, you don't understand…"

"I don't need to understand, Jack. You haven't been my husband for while now and you were engaged to the woman not so long ago. It's perfectly natural…" Carly said, trying to remain as calm and rational as possible even as she was screaming on the inside.

"No, stop, Carly. Listen to me, okay?" Jack interrupted and she looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "That kiss was nothing. It meant…it was just us saying goodbye."

"Oh really?" Carly said, letting out a caustic chuckle. "I'd really hate to see the way you two said hello, then."

"God, would you listen to me?" Jack said, his irritation building. "I'm telling you that the kiss meant nothing other than to say that we've both moved on with our lives."

"Oh, yeah, okay. I'm sure that the rest of Oakdale, when they watch it on the news tonight, will see it the same way." Carly said, her tone no less scathing than before.

"Dammit, Carly, knock it off!" Jack shouted, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

"No, Jack! You knock it off!" Carly yelled back, shaking her head. "Now it's your turn to listen to me."

Jack moved to open his mouth and Carly shook her head again, pointing a finger at him.

"I told you. I told you that I wasn't going to do this anymore. This…back and forth between us. This horrible game of 'I hurt you and then you hurt me'. It's too hard and too painful for everyone involved." She said empathically. "I also thought that we were beginning to find our way again but when I saw you today with Janet…Jack, I couldn't breathe. It just brought every doubt that I had from the beginning back into focus."

"But…" Jack started to say but Carly kept going.

"Now, I know you said it was a goodbye between you two and maybe it was. And maybe down the road, after I get back from L.A., you and I can try again but right now I have to do this. I have to learn to stand on my own two feet again; for me, for our kids, and maybe, in the end, even for us."

As the words left her mouth, Carly knew that they were true. The whole idea of going to L.A. had started because of the secret of their baby, but the more she thought about it the more it became clear why she truly had to go. Carly looked up at Jack and he was surprised by the look of sudden clarity in her eyes.

"Do you remember that young woman you fell in love all those years ago? The one who had such big dreams of a life blending a successful career with you and her children?"

"I still see her, Carly. Every time I look at you." Jack said softly and she gave him a wistful smile.

"But I don't, Jack, and that's the problem. I think that maybe part the reason that things got so bad between us was because I lost sight of who I was inside. And it may sound corny, but it's true." Carly said. "I mean, I love Metro, don't get me wrong, but I've wanted to design clothes since I was child, Jack. And I'm damned good at it!"

Jack gave a small smile and stayed silent, knowing that Carly wasn't bragging, just simply stating a fact.

"I had the great home life, but after that last failed attempt at BRO I gave up designing. Then I tried to find that same excitement I got from sketching out new ideas and putting together a collection in other ways. But every time I tried, it went wrong and ultimately I lost everything, including that beautiful life at home with you and our kids. But instead of slowing down, I tried even harder to find that thrill. I think, in order to fill the void that was just getting bigger and bigger inside of me."

"Is that why…" Jack started to say but stopped, not wanting to bring up his name again after what happened a little while ago.

"Is that why I became involved with Simon?" She finished for him and at his glance she gave a rueful chuckle. "Maybe in the beginning. But he really wasn't such a bad guy. Definitely not the most ideal candidate for a stable relationship, but he made me feel special and sexy and wanted. Simon reminded me that I had a lot to offer when I didn't feel that I was worth much anymore."

Jack visibly flinched at her words, his gut twisting inside as he realized that it had been his fault that she had felt that way. His stubborn pride had kept him from telling her back then that he loved her and that he was wrong in wanting the divorce until it was too late. As angry as he had been with her and Simon, he knew that part of the blame lay at his feet as well.

"And by the time that I realized things were no longer fun and exciting but very dangerous, it didn't matter. I was too deeply involved to get out and…" Carly trailed off, not needing to finish. They both knew what had happened then.

"I just don't want anyone…I don't want our kids to get hurt like that again." Jack said and she looked up at him, nodding her understanding.

"I know, Jack. And the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt them. You know that." Carly said and this time Jack nodded. "But Parker and J.J. really are okay with me going and while it might be a little harder on Sage, I know it'll be all right."

"So you want them to come live at the farm?" Jack said and Carly frowned at his question.

"Of course. But if they can't stay with you, Lee offered to let them stay with him." She said, perplexed. Even though Lee hadn't offered, she knew he would if she asked him to.

"No, that's not what I meant. I just figured, well, maybe it'd be easier if I moved here...into the house...while you're gone. That way it doesn't disrupt their lives too much." Jack said and Carly blinked in surprise.

"Um, yeah, I think that'd be fine. If you're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Jack nodded and she returned the gesture. A moment of silence reigned and then Jack let out a sigh.

He walked over and sat back down on the couch, taking her hands into his and looking into her face.

"Carly, for what it's worth…I'm sorry. For everything that I did or didn't do when we were together that made you feel like you weren't enough. Maybe I never told you this as many times as I should have but you and our kids…the life we made together...was everything to me."

Carly let out a quick shuddering breath and her eyes filled with tears.

"Hey, it's okay. I mean, it wasn't so bad, was it?" She asked.

Her aim was to lighten the moment but instead the question came out soft and uncertain. Jack shook his head, a pained smile on his face.

"A lot of it was pretty wonderful." He said, his voice husky with emotion.

Carly didn't say anything, just nodded and bowed her head, her long sleek blonde hair shielding her face from his sight. But by the slight shake of her shoulders, he knew that she was crying.

In a move that sent an unexplained sense of déjà vu through both Carly and Jack's bodies, Jack placed his hand on the side of her face and shifted towards her. His lips pressed to her forehead where her hairline started for a long moment; tears that he didn't know he was shedding falling to land silently in her hair. Even as he pulled his mouth away he bent his head so that his forehead was now resting against hers and Carly closed her eyes, her own tears slipping down her cheeks. They sat like that for what seemed to be hours but in reality was only a matter of seconds before Jack pulled away to look into her face.

Her blue eyes opened to meet the warm brown ones of the man she loved more than life itself. The urge to kiss him, to taste his lips upon hers before she left for L.A., swept over her but she held back for both of their sakes.

Instead she gave him a small smile and with a shaky and tear filled voice said, "Goodbye, Jack."

Jack didn't reply, his throat too tight with the remainder of his own unshed tears to even speak. He smiled softly back at her and stood up, heading for the doorway.

Again, the oddest sense of déjà vu overcame Carly and it sent an uneasy tingle down spine. She couldn't explain why, but she knew she didn't want those to be the last words she said to him today. Somehow, they felt too much like a final goodbye.

"Jack!" She called after him.

Jack turned back, slightly startled as he noted the smallest hint of desperation in her voice. Having only completed the thought that she had to say something else, Carly searched her brain to find the next words.

"I'll…I'll, uh, bring you something back from LA, okay?"

Jack stared at her a moment and the smile he gave her was such a combination of sadness and longing that it made her heart twist inside her chest.

"Baby, all I want when you come home…is you."

The sincerity in his voice and his eyes took away any of the banality that would normally be attributed to someone saying something like that. Carly felt the tears well up in her eyes again, forcing her to look away from him and place her hand over her mouth to stifle a small sob.

As he let himself out of the house and closed the door behind him Jack's words hung in the air, leaving a stunned and shaking Carly behind in their wake.