Disclaimer : everything belongs to the brilliant Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 6 - Confusion

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bella POV

My head was spinning. That was not the reunion I had imagined in my head over and over a thousand times. Edward was back...I couldn't even begin to contemplate how I felt about this. I suppose deep in my heart there was hope but also sorrow for what that would mean for Jacob. What could I do? I am so confused...there is no doubt I still love Edward more than anything in this world...seeing him in pain had showed me that. I wish I could love both but I couldn't be that selfish...which would mean I would eventually end up hurting one of them...but who?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We drove through La Push in silence until we arrived in Jake's garage. He helped me off the bike and held my hand pulling me towards the beach rather than his house. We walked hand in hand to the fallen bough and sat down.

"Bella I'm sorry...I didn't mean to get so angry...I" I stopped him before he could finish by placing my finger on his lip.

"Sshh, it's okay, you didn't do anything" I smiled up at him lightly hoping he couldn't see through me and see my fears. I didn't want him to realise that in that moment when Edward pulled me away, I was happy just for his contact. I placed my arm back to my side as he closed his eyes to sigh heavily while cupping his hands around my face. He opened his eyes and stared deep into mine.

"Bella...I need to tell you something" He looked down at his feet while he mumbled this, it was quite funny to see the normally cocky Jake being embarrassed but it had me wondering what had caused it, "I...I love you Bella". He looked up at me with hope in his eyes.

"Jake I love you too" I smiled at him before pulling him into a hug. He pulled away a little too soon to stare into my eyes.

"No...I...I am in love with you Bella Swan...truly and madly in love with you" He stopped to gauge my reaction but I just froze. Of course I had known this anyway but I was shocked that the time to say it had to be now.

"Um...Jake I have to go Charlie will be waiting" I smiled lightly at him but he looked downhearted. I hated to hurt him like this but I couldn't say it back unless I truly meant it.

We got up and headed towards his bike. The drive back was silent and soon we were on my driveway. I got off and turned to kiss him on the cheek but he turned his head and caught my lips, I gave him a quick peck, smiled and headed into the house. As I heard him drive off I sighed heavily.

I led in my bed that night thinking over everything – overanalysing as Edward used to do – I was in a tough situation. I loved Jake but I wasn't in love with him, that part of me belonged to Edward whether he wanted it or not. I knew I could be very happy with Jake but it my eyes, it wouldn't be a life to me, it would be an existence. With Edward I would spend eternity happy with the man I loved more than anything...but he didn't want me. It hurt to think like that...but he had loved me once and I had to think myself lucky even for that short amount of time we had together. I suppose my heart had been waiting for him to come back all along.

Well, if he didn't want me, then I could at least try with Jake. Try and be happy; harder than it sounds. Even with Jake the hole in my chest was present and could be ripped open at any time so I vowed to be careful with my emotions around Edward and Jake from now on.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

EPOV

It was hell waiting at home...minutes felt like hours leading up to when I could sneak into her room to see my love. I would have to...she would have to let me explain.

"Edward please get out of the house...you're driving me crazy!" Jasper had his head in his hands feeling my mixture of emotions.

"Fine" I snapped and stood up to run to my car. I got in and sped off down the road. How I missed this street, Bella's street. I waited round the corner until I couldn't hear the thoughts of the residents and then I ran to her house. I could hear Charlie's snores so I scaled the wall, slid her window open carefully and snuck inside taking my old spot on her rocking chair.

I couldn't believe how much I had missed...her smell, how beautiful she was and her sleep talking. She has not said anything yet so she must not have been asleep long. I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes to think. How can I win her back? Will she forgive – I didn't get to finish my thoughts.

"Hello Edward". My eyes shot open and I froze, there propped up against the headboard was my beautiful angel. I didn't know whether to flee or run to her and cling to her forever. I stayed still staring at her.

"Its okay, come here I think we need to talk", she tapped the space on the bed next to her. I felt a bit of relief but also fear at her words. I walked slowly so not to scare her and sat on the side of her bed.

"Edward...why are you here?" She asked me with a hint of happiness to her tone which made me smile.

"I missed watching you sleep..." I had to be honest with her otherwise I would never get her back.

"But...I...don't understand" She looked at me with confusion and her breathing hitched, her heart pounding in her chest. I realised that moment I had moved to a few inches from her face. Oh she was so beautiful, how could the Earth have such an angel like this? I needed to tell her before I did anything rash.

"Bella..." I stopped and looked at her to make sure she would take in every word, "Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars – points of light and reason...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything".

"But...You said you didn't want me? That you didn't love me anymore?" She said them in barely a whisper as if she were embarrassed, if it wasn't for my vampire hearing I would not have heard her.

"Bella...I'm ashamed to say that my kind, are exceptional liars". I couldn't help but pull a grimace at my own words.

"You...lied?" She looked up at me and I wished again that I could hear her thoughts.

"Yes my love, and it is the worst regret of my life, I shall spend eternity making it up to you" I meant this with all of my cold heart and being. Whether she wanted me or not I would protect her and make it up to her for the rest of my...existence.

She looked confused, almost conflicting with herself and looked up at me once more with those deep brown eyes full of acknowledgement and wonder. In that moment my resolve wavered and my lips came crashing to hers. She froze for a second but then I felt her kissing me back. My dead heart soared and I suddenly felt euphoric. She didn't fight me; I felt her heart pounding out a jagged, disjointed rhythm and her breathing turn into panting. Her fingers travelled over my face until she twisted them into my hair. I could feel every line of her body under me and I knew I should stop this but I couldn't...I had missed her too much. I had to pull away for her to breathe. I couldn't help but whisper her name as I pulled away. I led my ear on her heart as she led there trying to calm her heart and breathing.

"You and your damn rules" she shocked me with this, I had expected her to be angry.

"Are you not angry?" I asked cautiously. She gave me a look from which I couldn't understand the emotions.

"Of course I'm angry with you! You...what?" She looked confused and then anger flashed across her face. "Get out"

"Wh...What?!" I actually stuttered at what she demanded.

"I said get out...now...you can't just kiss me without asking! I'm...I'm" She failed to finish what she wanted to say.

"As you wish" I got up and headed towards the window as the hole in my chest hurt me.

"Will...will I see you in school Monday?" I turned so fast she jumped.

"You want to see me again?" I could feel a smile touching the corner of my lips.

"Yes, I...I don't want you to leave again". She looked down at her hands as she said this. In a second I was in front of her pulling her face up by her chin.

"I will never leave you again Bella Swan...I love you for eternity my love" and with that I kissed her quick on the cheek, jumped out the window and ran for home feeling absolutely elated.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soooo what you think? :/ I'm not too sure if I like it, i feel i could have done better.

Thanks for the reviews I love you guys but I want more for this one pleaseee

This chapter is especially for Zombie's Run This Town who sends me lovely reviews :)

Love you all PLEASE REVIEW