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Chapter 7 - Feelings

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It took a long time to fall asleep after Edward's visit, I was so confused. I was angry but happy. I felt happy to have Edward back in my life but angry that he would think I would let him back in so easily. I had meant it when I asked him to leave...I couldn't think straight to explain to him in that moment. I had suddenly realised that he would take it the wrong way so I made sure to ask if I would see him in school.

The happy glows in his eyes when I asked that made my anger fade almost entirely. However, I couldn't just drop Jake. I can't hurt him so I would explain to him how I felt and that it would take time to know what I wanted. Until then I would avoid any...distractions from them. So many emotions were flowing through me and I was happy I hadn't been reunited with Jasper. I felt like I had given Edward hope and felt guilty. It would take time for me to trust him again.

After having the hard conversation over the phone to Jake about having time to myself to think I suddenly felt horrible, knowing I would have to repeat this conversation again tonight...as long as he came while I was awake.

I ate dinner quietly while Charlie watched the game; I wanted to prolong this for as long as possible. Before long, I had gotten out of the shower and looked downstairs only to see Charlie had crashed out on the sofa. I heard a small creak in my room...he was already here...and I was in nothing but a skimpy towel!!!!

I took a deep breath and walked into my room...there he was looking like a Greek Adonis led on my bed. He shot up when he took in my appearance and his eyes grew suddenly dark. Great, need to have a serious conversation and the stupid vampire is staring at me in this stupid towel. The amount of times I had tried to get this type of reaction out of him...the one time I'm not trying I manage to do it?? Wish I had known how to do it sooner. Hmmm maybe this could cork to my advantage...no bad Bella my head chastised me but I knew I wanted him as much as it looked like he wanted me.

"Bella", Hearing him sigh my name was bliss, it sent shivers down my spine. It was full of love and...lust?

In that second he ran, too fast for my eyes, grabbed me round my waist and pushed me up against the wall. I couldn't deny I liked it but where had this Edward been when I didn't need to talk?

"Bella, love...you will be the death of me" His eyes were so full of lust I almost gave up.

"Ed...Edward...I-I need to get dressed" I was stammering under his powerful gaze.

"Do you want to though?" He said in a rather sexy, longing voice.

What was this? Where was Edward and who was this stranger? Did my body really have this effect on him? Damn him, he was trying to dazzle me I couldn't get a coherent sentence out.

"Edward...I need to talk to you" I managed to say quite sternly and his gaze softened as he released me. I took a heavy breath, realising I had hardly breathed through that encounter. I took my PJs and got dressed quickly in the bathroom. I made my way out trying not to stare at him on my bed too much and sat in front of him with my legs crossed. He pulled me closer and placed his hands on my knees.

"Edward...I need to tell you how I feel, no interruptions!" I stated as I saw he went to say something.

I took a deep breath and continued.

"Edward, I am angry with you for kissing me but I can't stay angry with you. I don't want any more explanations of why you left, I think I understand that...but it will take time for me to trust you again. I know you say you won't ever leave me again but you have to understand that it will take time for me to believe that. Also, I can't just betray Jake and come running back to you...he looked after me when you left and picked up the pieces...I need time before I make a decision...I'm sorry that I'm being selfish but I am really confused right now...Would you understand if I said that I'm only human?"

I smiled a little at my last sentence and thankfully so did Edward...but it didn't reach his eyes, he was hurt.

"Okay Bella, I...I am willing to wait forever for you but whatever your choice I will be there for you" He kissed me on the tip of my nose, got up and soared through the window.

Oh no! I wasn't finished. I ran to the window, "Edward!!!" I whispered furiously searching through the rain. Hmph, he is not getting away that easily. I climbed up and perched myself on the sill. I can reach that tree from here, I braced myself and jumped...

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