this goes with Guy Talk. I'm trying to make it so that you can read just one story or both and not be lost. I'm on a eoad teip so I'm edoting on my tablet. Sucks ass but it is what it is.. hope you like it. Reviews make me go faster!

"At todays lunch, we plan couples day where we drag our partners and surprise them by doing something fun. This month is illegal activities month!" Brittany says and the girls cheer an clap. "Let's get this party started!" She turns on the radio and the girls jump into planning.

As Mercedes starts writing ideas, she looks over to Brittany, " What time is Rachel getting here? She's usually never late."

"I dont know, I'll call her." Brittany grads her phone and walks outside to call Rachel.

Rachels pov

I lay stiff in bed waiting for Quinn to bring my lunch. I pick up the remote to order the latest episode of Bad Girls Club since I missed it because of that science test. I was about to watch Jonica try to fuck the new girl when Iggy's Fancy blared from my phone. Damnit.

"Hello?"

"Rach! Where the fuck are you?!" Brittany's adorably grumpy voice rang out.

"Hey Britt. I'm at Quinn's house."

"What the hell, Rach. Why are you blowing us off for a quick fuck?" She said angryly.

I sigh and run my hand through my hair, wincing as I reach too high and flex. "I'm not blowing you off. And its impossible for me to fuck now."

"Then why are you over there and not here?"

"I can't move. The only feeling I get is when I lift a muscle too much."

"Oh. Shit. Are you okay? What happened?" She asks worriedly.

"What didnt happen," I muttered to myself. "You know how the guys went to the strip club last night without telling us?"

"Yeah! I'm really mad at Sanny cuz she didn't invite me. We could have had so much fun!" I can hear her pout over the phone.

"I know right! Anyways, Quinn came home really drunk and she's a angry, horny drunk so the strippers didn't help either. therefore I can't move."

"Wait, so she fucked you so hard you cant move?" Brit asks in awe.

"Yup! Charlie normally come out only twice a month, that's her sex ego, but this was one of the best fucks I've ever had."

"you aren't mad that other people got her horny?"

"What? No! Its me she came home to not those fugly hoes. But if seeing strippers gets me fucked that hard, I'll drive her there myself. literally thought I was having a seizure!"

I finish my rant thinking of Quinn in a strap on and feel myself get wet. damn, I can't move so I can't release... fuck.

"..." I realize Brittany hasn't said anything for a full minute.

"Britts?"

"Huh? Oh um. I'm right here. Wow. I um, have to go, I need to call Santana."

"Okay, but i must warn you. If you want her to go all Rambo on you, I must warn you that I though i woke up paralyzed." And its true, I was scared out of my fucking mind. I would never be better than Barbra because she could dance and I couldn't even take a goddamned step.

"Holy shit... ok, I'll tell the girls and we'll see you tonight." She said in a breathy voice and hurriedly hung up.

I shake my head with a small smile and resume watching Jonica and the new girl. Quinn walks in with my turkey sandwich and a kiss.

"Hey baby. Are you okay?" She asks with a worried smile.

"I'm fine, babe. But you can give me a massage after I eat." She lights up and smirks as she lays down next to me.

"Sexy massage?"

"Nope." I grin and kiss her on the nose and start eatin my food.

"fuck yeah- wait what?! No?" She sits up

"None for 2 weeks babe." I say with the slurping of the straw to finalize my statement.

"What the fuck? Why?"

"Because you went to a strip club without telling me."

"You said you weren't mad!" She exclaimes with tears in her eyes.

"I'm not. Love you Quinnie, now give me a massage." I roll on my back and feel her reluctantly start rubbing my back.

I fall asleep to wet splatters on my back and quiet sniffles.