A/N: so the moment the first chapter was up this popped into my head and I figured I'd do just one more chapter.
And another thing please forgive any inaccuracies, although I promise they work with the story.
Thanks for all the reviews!
Apologies spelling grammar and OOCness, Sevvie, Sirius and James especially in this chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters. Credit to that goes to J.K Rowling, I'm just borrowing them one more time.
Determination can be defined as a strong sense of will driving one on to achieve a certain goal or purpose. It is a fire that moves you, pushing you forward. Giving you a sense of urgency and kind off... positive fear of failure that can only be remedied by achieving the goal you have set for yourself. When used constructively this emotion can be a great asset.
It can give you passion and drive that could lead you to greater heights, helping you reach your dreams and fulfil your desires.
Unfortunately in the rarest of cases determination can sometimes be corrupted into something darker. When one is filled with determination but somehow loses sight of what's important, what once was considered to be an asset can slowly be turned into a curse.
When determination is taken too far, when one finds themselves going to extreme lengths just to achieve their
goals. When you're so blinded by the sheer want that you'll do whatever it takes to get what you want it's no longer determination.
That my dear children is what we refer to as, obsession.
But how do you know the difference? After all, obsession is just a darker form of determination a contaminated version of want. So how do you know when you've crossed the line?
How do you know when a harmless little deal isn't just a deal anymore, but something far more consuming. And even if by some God sent miracle you realise that you've gone too far, how do you save yourself from falling even deeper?
How do you force yourself to stop?
•~•~•~
James almost gave a snort as he glanced over at Sirius who was chomping down on his toast like it was the reason for his anger.
The animagus' eyes were fixed on the other side of the great hall, glaring like he could set the offending object on fire if he just kept glaring long enough.
"Something wrong Padfoot?" James asked trying to hide his smirk behind the goblet of pumpkin juice in his hand.
"No." Sirius mumbled before a low growl left his throat. Remus looked up at the sound his friend made and looked in the direction where Sirius was glaring, before giving a groan.
"Honestly Sirius he isn't even looking this way, just leave Snape alone for once."
"But-Just look at them Moony, something's going on there I can feel it." Sirius said as his glare intensified.
Snape was sitting at the slytherin table like he did every morning, only this time the raven wasn't alone. Lucius Malfoy sat beside him. The slytherin prefect kept leaning towards the boy beside him with Severus nodding and talking back as they spoke quietly.
"Like what?"
"Like...like-" Sirius' lips pursed into a thin line until he finally gave in and threw his arms up in frustration. "I don't know, something!"
James grinned as he looked over to the slytherin table as well, getting far too much enjoyment out of watching his best mate fume than he probably should. Despite his own private little mission, the fact that Malfoy and Snape seemed so close didn't really bother him.
Sirius was a bigger problem than Malfoy anyway, so why bother with what the blond was doing when he had more pressing issues to deal with.
Although part of James felt bad because of what he was planning.
He was trying to shag his best mates...
His mate's...
What is Snape to Sirius anyway? A boyfriend, fuck buddy? What is the raven to Padfoot other than a coerced participant in a one sided deal?
'I'm just a toy to you, aren't I?'
The slytherin's words came flooding back to him and James frowned as he stared at Snape, who was still talking to Malfoy as he picked at his food with the usual slytherin polished etiquette.
Was Snape really just a toy to Sirius?
On any normal day James would probably answer yes, but right now he wasn't so sure.
The animagus was getting awfully worked up over Malfoy and Snape for the raven to just be a toy, but then again Sirius has never liked to share.
It's probably just a dominance thing, right?
This wouldn't be the first time that some of Padfoots more animalistic traits came through. Maybe that's what it was about, you know the whole animal alpha dog "touch my bitch and die" thing. Sirius probably just likes the control he has over Snape and doesn't want to risk losing it to someone else, it couldn't mean anything more than that.
James studied Snapes face from across the hall and suddenly remembered how the slytherin looked just a few nights ago. So different from what he was at the moment.
The raven's face was set back into its usual cold hard features. The gorgeous slytherin that's been keeping him up for the past few nights was gone, leaving nothing but the slimy slytherin git he loves to hate.
As the days went by he'd keep looking back at him, thinking that maybe something in that stone cold expression had changed but it never did. Sev was gone and James had no hope of ever seeing him again, unless he finishes the dare of course.
The gryffindor found himself less worried about getting a broom for the match against slytherin and more concerned about getting under a certain slytherin's skin. He could do it, he's sure he could.
The only problem here is Sirius.
The animagus has Snape right where he wants him and unless James somehow found a way to break his best mates hold on the raven, he was going to stay there.
The only obvious solution is Evans.
The auburn haired girl is the only reason that Snape is doing this in the first place, meaning she's the only reason he'll stop.
Just as the thought crossed his mind, James looked up to find Snape making his way from the snake table over to the halls entrance. As soon as he was out the doors Sirius stood as well but before he could leave Remus grabbed his arm.
"Padfoot, don't. He hasn't done anything, don't just go for the pure sake of torturing him."
Sirius paused and something flashed across his eyes, before he eased his arm our of Lupin's grip and gave him a grin. "Well I'm not going just for the pure sake of torturing him, now am I Moony?"
Sirius left the hall taking long strides and Remus gave a heavy sigh, until James stood as well. "I'll go get him."
"No! No you are not." The werewolf said with a growl, "Whenever you and Sirius are together things go badly for Snape."
James rolled his eyes despite the truth behind those words, "I'm not going to hurt him, I have a dare to finish remember. Hurting Snape won't get me any closer to that broom now will it?"
Peter, who had been sitting next to Remus the whole time, started choking on his food before looking up at James. "Merlin. Are you still on about that? You must be serious then."
"Yes I am."
James immediately turned and headed out the great hall, ignoring Lupin's protests as the doors closed behind him.
The hallway was quiet.
James couldn't find any sign of Snape or Sirius so the gryffindor made his way towards the dungeons where Snape would probably be when a voice coming from another hallway caught his attention.
Being careful not to make any noise, he walked towards the voice until he saw Severus standing against the wall with his best mate standing in front of him. James got as close as possible without alerting either of them, hiding in an alcove behind a statue nearby. Although Snape and Sirius seemed a bit too preoccupied to really notice.
"I-I can't stay away from him. We're in the same house and he's a prefect." James' eyes widened at Snape's voice which was soft and timid an exact match to how he was in the dungeons. "I can't just-"
"So what if he's a prefect, stay away from him. I don't want that slimy little snake thinking he's free to have you whenever he wants. That's what these mean you know." Sirius tugged at Snapes robes as he gave the raven a death glare. "They're a sign of ownership, the bastard probably thinks you're his now that's why you can't talk to him anymore. He doesn't own you, he can't own you-"
"Because you already own me?"
James flinched back at the anger he saw in Snapes eyes, for a moment the slytherin looked like his old hateful self as he glared up at the wizard in front of him.
"Sev-"
"Why me?"
Sirius blinked and stared back into Snapes dark eyes, "What?"
"Why me. You hated me before this. I didn't ask for your help with Lily, you're the one that offered." Severus ground out as he glared down at the stone floor until he looked up defiantly and pierced Sirius with his eyes. "Why? What do you want from me?"
The animagus' eyes went from dark steel to molten silver and he leaned down to wrap his arms around Severus' waist and whisper against the ravens ear.
"I want you."
A light blush crept onto Snapes cheeks and the slytherin visibly tensed. James rolled his eyes at how easily his best friend managed to avoid answering that question.
'Since when is Snape this naïve?'
Sirius kissed the side of Severus' pale neck, drawing out a low moan and an even deeper blush before moving up to seal their lips and give the raven a deep kiss.
Snapes arms went up and around the others neck. James almost groaned, how the hell is he supposed to get Snape away from Padfoot? Sirius has him wrapped up so tight it's like the slytherin couldn't see anything passed the animagus' illusions.
After a few more moments, Sirius pulled back and almost immediately started to work on Severus' robes making the ravens eyes widen as he tried to push him away.
"N-not here," Severus hissed as he tried to keep Sirius at arms length. "What if someone see's?"
"They won't," Sirius grabbed Snapes struggling arms and pinned them above his head, before he buried his head in the raven's neck. "Now hush so I can have my way with you."
Severus' blush got darker, "Sirius... Please, not here."
James could see the look of intense discomfort on Snapes eyes as he spoke, it baffled the gryffindor to no end how easily Sirius could reduce Severus Snape to a begging mess. Even if it was a bit forced on Snape's part.
How long did it take the animagus' to get him to do that? How long would it take James to get him to that level once he got Sirius out of the way?
"Fine." Sirius growled and looked up into Snapes eyes, before giving the boy a smile as he let go of one of his hands to stroke his hair. "I'll just have to wait till later then."
"Later?"
"Yes later," Sirius took a step forward and pressed their bodies flush together, the animagus' smirked when Severus' eyes got even bigger than before and his face turned beet red when he felt the gryffindor's erection pressing against his thigh. "You don't honestly think I plan on taking care of this on my own, do you Sev?"
Severus gulped and tried to look at anything but Sirius' eyes while the others smirk just got bigger. "Meet me in the room of requirement after dinner."
"I can't," Severus said as he kept his eyes fixed on the ground. "I have a potions essay to complete a-and Lucius won't just let me sneak out again."
Sirius suppressed a growl at the slytherin prefect's name, "Well then do the bloody essay and meet me once you're done at midnight and everyone's in bed. The git does sleep doesn't he?"
Severus gave a nod as he nervously raked a hand through his hair, Sirius smiled and took a step back. "I'll see you tonight then."
Sirius had barely finished his sentence when Snape moved to get away, but the gryffindor grabbed his arms and pulled him back against his chest to give Severus a searing kiss.
"Sev." Sirius said as he kept the boy in his grasp, "What do you say?"
"I'll be there."
When Sirius narrowed his eyes Snape almost groaned. "I'll be there m-master."
The brunette grinned and gave Severus one more kiss before he let him go. James flattened his back against the wall in the tiny hiding spot and watched as Severus all but ran down the hallway towards the dungeons while Sirius simply strolled passed with an impossible smirk on his face.
James walked out as soon as he was sure that they were gone and stood in the middle of the empty hall wondering what his first move should be. He needs to get Snape away from Sirius and the only way to do that is to make him think he doesn't need him anymore. James pursed his lips in thought, when it hit him and the gryffindor smirked.
'Lily Evans'
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Severus walked down the hallway as he slowly made his way to the slytherin common room. The raven walked at an even pace but kept his head down as he walked passed a few students here and there. Of course no one noticed him, hell, no one even looked in his direction and for once the Slytherin was relieved.
He's been getting a lot more attention than he's used to lately.
Malfoy had started noticing him, but that's only because of Snape's talents with potions and curses so the blonds interest in him wasn't what was bothering him. Lucius isn't the reason that Snape almost jumps when someone says his name or why he tenses every time he feels a pair of eyes on him from across the room.
No credit for that goes to a certain pair of gryffindor tormentors.
The kiss that James forced on him four days before still lingered in his mind. He couldn't imagine why Potter would suddenly do something like that when he had been calling Snape names just a few days before that. It confused him even more since the hazel eyed wizard had stopped teasing him and actually tried to speak to him before he gave Severus the kiss.
Of course Severus is the furthest thing from stupid and James Potter is obviously less than creative. The slytherin has seen all the moves that the gryffindor pulls on the all those moronic little girls of Hogwarts.
From the hints and subtle flirting the gryffindor has been doing all week it's pretty obvious exactly what he was after, Snape just couldn't understand why Potter would suddenly want to do something like that with him of all people.
Sure there's Sirius but the circumstances concerning that situation are completely different.
The raven clutched his books closer to his chest as he walked passed a group of giggling second year hufflepuffs, ducking his head a little lower as if they would be able to see the sordid thoughts going through his head if he didn't.
He still remembers the first time it happened, the first time Sirius touched him that way. Although the memory is a bit fuzzy.
Severus can't exactly remember why he went out to meet Rosier that day or even why he agreed to meet him in the astronomy tower in the first place. All he remembers is stumbling on his way there and falling into Sirius Black's chest.
Naturally Snape immediately moved to rectify himself and get as far away from his school bully as humanly possible. Unfortunately Black had other plans.
A scowl spread right over the animagus' face and he grabbed Snapes arms forcing him against a wall. Sirius immediately started accusing him of all kinds of schemes and nefarious plots causing the slytherin to stare back in complete surprise for just a moment. As far as he knew he hadn't even spoken to any of his tormentors that week, so he couldn't understand where all of the new accusations were suddenly coming from.
Once Sirius was done with his rant Snape simply glared at him and called him a delusional imbecile, before demanding to be let go. For some reason Black just stared at him for seven full seconds until the gryffindor did something utterly unexpected, shocking Snape into a comatose like state of horror.
Sirius kissed him.
He grabbed the back of Snape's throat and literally forced his tongue into the slytherin's mouth as he pressed their lips together.
Severus just stood there completely frozen, his brain seemed to have malfunctioned since none of the millions of thoughts running through it at the time seemed to register. That is, until the gryffindor's hands slipped into his old second hand robes and onto his skin, suddenly making Snape painfully aware of the situation he was in.
The raven snapped out of it and immediately pushed Sirius away, staring at the gryffindor with wide eyes as he brought a hand up to touch his lips. For his part Sirius looked just as confused he stared back at Snape almost as if he was a puzzle the gryffindor had to solve.
Snape recovered first and wasted no time in getting the hell out of there once he had, totally forgetting about his meeting with Rosier. It wasn't till a month later that Sirius found him alone again and offered him a deal. A deal so hideously unimaginable that Snape could barely believe his ears.
'I'll talk to Evans and convince her to give you another chance and in exchange for my help all you have to do is make sure that I'm taken care of.'
Now normally the raven would have refused, he would've told Sirius exactly where to put his despicable little offer and finished off by throwing a hex or two his way but not that day.
It was the anniversary of the first time he met Lily.
The first time he ever felt like he wasn't alone, where he felt like someone actually cared about him. Where he didn't feel like an unnecessary waste of breath.
Lily's the only one who ever accepted Severus and made him feel wanted. After all his father despised him and his mother never really cared. The raven has always been alone so at the time he never saw the point to having anyone.
But Lily changed that, she made him feel like he was worth more than he really was and Severus wanted to have that feeling back again. So he agreed even though he knew he was making a very big mistake.
Surprisingly enough, Sirius wasted no time in getting their arrangement started and proceeded by fucking Snape right there in the library. Severus is only grateful that it was much too late for anyone to have seen them at the time.
Severus let out a deep sigh as he turned a corner towards his destination.
It has been almost three months since he and Sirius started doing this and the gryffindor still hadn't said a word to Lily.
Again, Severus Snape is the furthest thing from stupid.
He knows that Sirius was just stringing him along, that the brunette really had no intention of speaking to Evans. He's well aware of the fact that Sirius is probably just using him, it's just that- well one part of it was...
There was still a chance.
That maybe the gryffindor would speak to his old friend and things could go back to the way they were. That maybe one day someone would care about him again, so Severus would force himself to keep going. He'd rip his dignity to shreds and let Sirius use him as he wanted, because in Snapes mind Lily was worth it.
The other part is something Snape doesn't even want to think about. That thought in the back of his mind that he's managed to keep locked away through all these months. The tiny part of him that let Sirius have him because he wanted to, because for once someone wanted him even if he was just being used.
Snape took a deep breath as he neared the dungeons, trying to rid himself of all the self-loathing thoughts that were running through his mind. There would be plenty of time for that later.
At midnight.
For now he had to focus on his essay, he was still a student after all and if he's ever going to get away from his parents he'd need to atleast get a reasonable job in the wizarding world and he'd need good grades to get one.
The raven looked up at the entrance that lead to the dungeons when his feet stilled and the boy froze.
James Potter was standing by the wall with his hair in it's usual disarray and glasses resting on his nose. Snape almost groaned as he glared at the gryffindor who was staring right at him with a smile on his face.
"Evening Snape."
Stealing together some courage, Severus walked right passed him through the entry way as if he hadn't seen or heard the wizard speak at all. James blinked in surprise and hurried after him, the gryffindor quickly caught up and shot Snape a beaming smile.
"You know it's impolite to ignore someone when they greet you."
Snape resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he started walking faster in the dimly lit hallway, trying to ignore the hazel eyed teen that effortlessly managed to match him stride for stride.
James gave a sigh, "If you just talk to me for five minutes, I'll leave you alone afterwards."
Severus stopped and stared at James for a brief moment, "What do you want?"
James raked a hand through his hair and gave an awkward smile making Severus raise an eyebrow at him, "I wanted to talk about what happened last week."
The slytherin tensed and James immediately noticed, "Look, I'm sorry for what I did. It was wrong of me to just force that on you and-"
"There's nothing to apologise for because nothing happened." Severus interrupted with his features set in cold indifference. "If that's all, I'll take my-"
"No it's not, I said five minutes didn't I?" James almost growled at the slytherin as his eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Would it kill you to be just a little more cooperative or at least just listen for a few minutes?"
"With you I'd probably die from over-exposure to idiocy." Severus sneered as he glared at the gryffindor, "Now say whatever it is you have to say, I have other things to take care of that don't involve you."
"Things like what?" Something flashed behind Potters eyes and the wizard took a step forward pinning him in his gaze as he moved until he was less than a foot away.
Severus resisted the urge to blink, what on earth does that look mean?
"None of your business."
"Did you really hate it that much?"
"Hate what?"
"We both know you're not stupid, so don't act like you are." James growled impatiently until his eyes seemed soften along with his voice. "I meant the kiss, was it really so bad that you'd try to forget it even happened?"
Snapes eyes widened slightly before he managed to get his features back under control, unfortunately Potter already saw the slight crack in the slytherin's mask and almost smiled as he took another step forward while Snape just stared up at him.
"You see, I actually enjoyed it quite a bit." James whispered as he got closer, "And I was thinking that maybe we could give it another try, only if you wanted to of course. I'd never force you into anything you didn't want."
Severus ignored the closing proximity and gave a snort, "You and your friends have been forcing me into all kinds of things I didn't want for as long as I can remember."
"True, but this time it's entirely up to you." James paused before leaning down until his lips were less than an inch away from Snapes. "So what do you say, Severus? Do you want to try again?"
Severus almost tensed at the sound of his name, but chose to stare defiantly right back into James' eyes as he snarled. "I'd say this conversation is over."
Severus moved around the gryffindor and made to walk away when James made him stop cold in his tracks. "You know Lily misses you, I can tell."
James walked over to the slytherin's frozen form and stood less than a foot behind him. "She's always looking over at the slytherin table when you aren't there and she always manages to mention your name when she's talking to her friends. See that's the other reason why I'm here, I'd like to help if you'll let me."
Snape grasped the books in his hands a little tighter as rage started to boil violently in his veins. So that's what all of this was all about?
Unbelievable!
Those arrogant bastards! Sirius must have told his friends about their little arrangement and now James was probably looking for an easy fuck from Black's private toy.
It must have been a real laugh when the dirty little mutt told them all about it, 'Just make him think that you'll help him with his pathetic little crush and he'll have his legs open faster than you can say quidditch'
Severus was so angry that his face was starting to flush red and he reached for his wand when-
"I won't be doing anything myself of course."
"What?"
"I mean that, well..." James paused for a moment, "If you want Evans to forgive you you'll have to speak to her yourself. There are no go betweens with that girl."
The raging blood that was flooding his face instantly faded and the slytherin turned to stare up at James in slight shock. "You-... You're giving me advice?"
"Yeah," Potter said with a nervous laugh, "Talking to Evans myself wouldn't really change much, you see she isn't all that fond of me either. Especially when it comes to anything concerning you so I figured, if you spoke to her yourself then she-"
"Why?"
"What?"
"You hate me, you're the reason Lil-Evans won't speak to me in the first place. Why are you helping me, what do you want?" Snape asked piercing the other in his gaze only serving to make the other smile.
"Like I said before Lily misses you besides," Potter smirked, moving forward to give the slytherin a sly smirk as he husked. "If I'm lucky, maybe Evans will soften you up and I'll get a proper thank you for all my trouble."
Severus' cheeks instantly flushed and James' smirk grew into a grin. The slytherin resisted the urge to bite his lip the way he did whenever Sirius made him blush but failed miserably. Lily is the one topic that always forced all of Snapes emotions to the surface.
"I've tried apologising before, she won't listen me."
"There's an easy way around that. I'll give you some advice on women." James said thoughtfully making Snape look up at him. "Girls, especially girls like Evans find it extremely difficult to deny anyone when their asking for help. They do this weird dragon mother thing where they just have to fix and protect anything. And since Lily's always been protective of you all you have to do is ask for help with... whatever and she'll at least listen to you, even if it's just for a few minutes."
Severus took it all in and let his gaze drop to the floor, it was a long shot but the slytherin honestly had nothing else to lose. Lily already hated him and Sirius took pretty much every ounce of dignity and pride he ever had, so there isn't much he has to worry about.
But Snape was still unsure.
"Why are you really doing this? What are you after?" Severus asked letting his head drop a bit more so his hair could cover his face.
James gave an exasperated sigh, "Merlin, no one can ever just be nice to you can they? There always has to be some kind of hidden agenda."
"Everyone wants something."
"Fine," James lifted Snapes chin so the slytherin was looking at him before giving a grin. "If it'll make you feel better, you can give me something as payment for my advice."
Severus swallowed as he stared into James' hazel brown eyes, "What?"
"A kiss." Snape's eyes widened and James' grin grew. "One kiss and we'll call it even, but you have to kiss me and it has to be at least... five minutes long."
"I can't hold my breath for that long."
"Well then we'll have to do something else the rest of the time now won't we?"
Severus' blush got darker and somewhere in the back of his mind a voice was warning him that Sirius would be livid if he ever found out about this. But the slytherin forced that voice away looked around the dark hallway, until he spotted a door that lead to a broom cupboard nearby and he took the gryffindor's hand leading him towards it.
Once inside James cast an illumination spell and Severus took a deep breath, "Just one kiss for five minutes, right?"
"Right."
Snape set his books down on one of the cluttered shelves in the closet and wrapped his arms around the gryffindors neck to bring him down for a deep kiss. Severus was surprised when James only kissed back softly and wrapped his arms around his waist. Sirius would have been hoisting him up by his legs and getting rid of his robes by now.
James traced a line on Severus' lips with his tongue and didn't have to wait too long before he received entry. The slytherin let out a moan and his cheeks flushed with heat, honestly he hated the effect that the gryffindors seemed to have on him. When James' hand wandered up to Snapes hair the kiss somehow became urgent and frantic, James hand tightened it's hold to the others hair and he pulled his head back before moving away from Snapes lips down to his neck.
Severus gasped and his breaths came out in pants, he buried both his hands in James' messy hair urging the gryffindor on.
"James." Came Severus' involuntary gasp and the gryffindor instantly brought Snape closer, tightening his hold around the boy's waist as he started grinding into him.
Snapes eyes widened when he felt something hard rubbing up against him and he weakly pushed at the others shoulders to try and get some distance between them.
"Th-thats five-ah-five minutes Po-ngh-Potter."
James growled before moving back up to steal Snapes lips in another deep kiss. "Say my name."
"What?"
"Say my name and I'll let you go." The gryffindor mumbled against Severus' lips.
"James," Severus moaned and the other groaned. "L-let me go, you said only five minutes."
After one more knee buckling kiss Potter finally stopped letting his forehead rest against Snape's as he took in a few deep breaths.
Once they were both breathing normally, Severus pushed away from James trying to force down his blush before taking his books and walking out of the broom cupboard while James followed. Once the door had closed Severus glanced at the gryffindor through his hair.
"We're even now, right?"
"Right." James gave Snape an ear splitting grin.
"Good." Snape immediately made to leave when Potter called out to him.
"I heard Evans' friends say that she'll be studying alone in the library, in case you wanted to try and speak to her tonight."
Severus stopped and turned slightly to give James a nod before walking off to the common rooms.
Maybe he doesn't need Sirius Black after all.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Severus stood outside of the library and stared st the large oak doors, fighting back his body's urge to turn tail and run. If Potter wasn't lying then Lily was just beyond those doors, all he has to do is find her and somehow convince her to listen to him.
The slytherin still wasn't sure how much of Potters advice he could really trust, but again he really has nothing left to lose. Besides this was a way to finally get away from Sirius' rule, if Lily forgives him then he wouldn't need the gryffindor anymore and wouldn't have to bend to his will because he'd finally have his friend back.
Part of Snape felt relieved at that while another part, another part of him was slightly disappointed. But why should he feel disappointed, this is what he wants right, all he wants is Lily back. Nothing else matters.
And with that final thought Severus pushed open the doors and stepped inside. The slytherin looked around the large room hoping that he might find her at first glance only to come up empty handed.
Snape walked around for a bit until he saw a head of long auburn hair at a table tilting to the side and moving a bit before a quill tapped against it and going back down to the table. Severus took a deep breath and walked over until he was standing just behind the girl, before he cleared his throat.
Giving a start the girl turned around and stared in suprise until she finally looked away and started packing up her things.
"Wait Lily," Snape said as he went to stand beside her, "I just want to talk to you."
Evans gave a snort as she stacked up her books and put her ink pots and quill in her bag, "And why would you want to talk to a filthy little mudblood like me."
"I-..." Severus paused, "I'm sorry for what I said, I really didn't mean any of it."
"Then why did you say it?!" The girl snapped, emerald green pulsing with anger as she glared at the raven in front of her.
"I don't know."
Lily blinked and stared at Severus for a moment. When Severus didn't say anything else, she packed up the rest of her things and made to leave.
Snape panicked and his mind raced as he thought of what to do next when Potter's word came back to him.
'...all you have to do is ask for help with... whatever and she'll at least listen to you, even if it's just for a few minutes.'
The problem is Snape couldn't think of anything that he'd need Lily's help with, so in a very unslytherin like move (like he's been much of a slytherin lately anyway) the raven decided to let his mouth do as it pleased.
"I need your help."
The witch paused and looked back over her shoulder at Snape after seeing the desperation and fear in his eyes she turned around and folded her arms over her chest. "Why should I help Se-Snape, you've never wanted my help before. Why now?"
Severus swallowed and stared back into Lily's eyes, "Because you're the only one I trust, so you're the only one who can."
Lily's lips pursed in a thin line and her eyebrows furrowed until she walked back to the table where she was sitting before and put her bag beside her chair, Severus suppressed a smile as he went to sit down as well nervously raking a hand through his hair as he waited for the girl to say something.
"For the record this doesn't mean I forgive you, I'm a gryffindor and gryffindor's never refuse when someone asks for help. Understood?"
"Yes."
"Alright then." Lily said after giving a heavy sigh. "What do you need help with?"
"I-I'm not really sure." Snape answered truthfully in a soft voice not daring to look up at the auburn haired girl beside him lest he lose his nerve.
"What do you mean?"
What could he say? There's nothing he needs help with, nothing that he'd need Lily's help with at least. So Severus decided to let his mouth have free reign again, since it had been working out well so far.
"There's someone-someone I-"
"Someone you what?"
Snape groaned internally when he realised exactly what his mouth was trying to say, but he didn't want Lily knowing about any of that. Severus was going to try and take this secret to the grave if he could.
But he needs Lily to forgive him and since he couldn't think of anything else, well...
"I-I've been... seeing someone for a while."
"Seeing someone?" Evans eyebrows knit together in confusion until a light went of in her head and her eyes went wide. "As in seeing someone seeing someone?!"
"Well I-"
Lily forgot herself and immediately started bombarding Severus with tons of questions. "Who is she? What's she like? When did this happen? How did it happen? What-"
The girl looked into Severus' eyes and could almost see the slytherin turn tail on her and run, so she quickly composed herself and spoke. "I'm sorry, just keep going."
Severus gave a stiff nod before he nervously answered, "Well it's not-it's not a... A she exactly."
"So what, are you telling me you've been seeing a blo-" Evans stopped right in her tracks when she saw the light blush on Snape's face.
Sweet Merlin! Is Severus gay?!
Why didn't she notice this before?
"A-alright so you've been seeing a boy and..."
"I'm not sure if... He's very-" Snape took a deep breath still trying to avoid looking Lily in the eye and spoke softly. "How do you know if someone likes you and if they're just using you?"
Severus resisted the urge to blink when Lily did. Why would he ask that? Of course Sirius is just using him, why would he think any different?
"If he's spending time with you Sev-Snape," Evans frowned at how badly she wanted to use her old friends nickname, but she can't give in so easily. "Then you must have some idea of what he feels."
Snapes eyebrows furrowed and he stared at the table top, "We don't really speak much, he just." A new blush spread over his cheeks. "He just-"
"Just what? Shag's and runs." Lily propped her head up against her arm and gave a soft snort at her poor joke when she saw Severus flinch and her eyes went wide.
"Sev?" Gryffindor pride be damned, Lily wasn't going to use his last name if this conversation is headed where she thinks it's headed.
Severus shrank away from her and the witch realised that he was going to try and run from her, so she grabbed his hand and held on tight. "Don't run. You said you needed my help and I can see that you obviously do, so just take a deep breath."
The slytherin did as he was told but never looked up from the table, feeling a little courage because of the hand wrapped around his own. "I suppose shag and run," Severus grimaced at the phrase. "Is an accurate way of putting it."
"How long has this been going on?"
"Three month's."
"Sev,..." Lily paused as she tried to think of what she could ask so she could figure out a way to help her friend. "Is sleeping together all you do or does he talk to you?"
"Sometimes, but that's only-"
"Only what?"
"He gets angry when I'm around other..." Severus stopped and bit his lip as he thought of all the times Sirius would corner him in a rage, because he saw him talking with another wizard even if it was just someone from slytherin. "And then he makes me promise that I won't go near them again."
"He sounds posessesive." Lily said thoughtfully before looking back at Severus. "Does he talk about anything else?"
"No." Severus frowned unsure of how to handle what he was now saying out loud.
"Have you asked him how he feels?"
"Yes."
'I'm just a toy to you, aren't I?'
Why did he ask Sirius that in the first place?
"And what did he say?"
"That he wouldn't put up with me if he didn't care."
"How romantic." Lily rolled her eyes.
"He said that no one else will ever want me and that he's the only one that ever will." By now Snape had lost complete control of his mouth, but hearing these things out loud Severus found himself actually getting upset. "He says that's why I can't let anyone else touch me, because he's the only one who cares. So he's the only one who can have me."
"And what did you say to him?" The girl pulled her chair closer to his, the sound the chair made was a loud screech making Severus look up into her eyes.
"Nothing."
"Severus," Lily spoke carefully even though she felt some of that old protectiveness she once had for the boy beside her bubble up to the surface in an angry surge. "Do you like him?"
Severus tensed, and Lily silently hoped that she hadn't been too blunt.
"I... I don't-"
Of course not, how could he fancy someone that's tortured him for years and then forces him to be his private sex toy. He couldn't like Sirius, could he?
Evans saw the conflict in the ravens eyes and immediately knew, "You do, don't you?"
Snape looked away and made to stand when Lily pulled him back down, "Sev, do-"
"Don't call me that." Snape growled as he stared down at the table again.
"Why not?... Is that what he calls you?"
Severus tensed all over again and Lily had to resist the urge to wrap the slytherin up in a hug, Snapes already flighty right now. Jumping him would just set him off.
"Severus you need to end it. Stay away from him, it's obvious he's just using you and from what I can't tell by looking at you right now." Lily paused, "He's bad for you, Sev."
"Don't-"
"No! I'm the one who gave you that nickname and I'm not letting some possessive insecure little prat ruin it." Lily snapped as she glared at Snape.
Severus blinked in surprise and looked up at the girl, who looked close to exploding at this point. "I don't know if I can-"
"Yes you can. You don't need him, he isn't the only one who'll ever want you and he doesn't own you. It's obvious he only said that cause he doesn't want to lose you and he doesn't want you spending time with any other guys because he's scared you'll leave him. The fact that he gets angry only proves how dangerous he could be." Something flashed in Lily's eyes and she leaned forward in her chair before she whispered. "He hasn't hurt you has he?"
"No," Severus answered, Sirius has never actually hurt him well at least not when they were alone.
"Even so, he's not good for you. You need to let him go." When the raven didn't say anything for a few moments, Lily gave up and moved forward to wrap the slytherin in a hug. "Sev, promise me you'll stay away from him."
Severus tensed but made no move to get away, "I-"
The boy fought back against the stinging in his eyes, he finally had his friend back. So he doesn't need to go back to Sirius, not anymore.
"I promise."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Days passed and Sirius stalked around Hogwarts in a constant hormonal rage.
The gryffindor refused to tell anyone what was wrong, instead choosing to drive them all up the wall with his constant fits of anger. All except for James of course who seemed to just love in the animagus' anger.
It wasn't hard for James to figure out what was wrong.
Everyone at school has noticed after all.
That lonely, greasy slytherin boy who's name no one knew wasn't alone anymore.
Severus successfully made up with Lily and somehow their relationship seemed stronger than it was before. Meaning that Sirius had lost his leverage over the raven haired boy, Snape didn't need him anymore so he ended their little arrangement.
Needless to say Sirius was not pleased, things were made even worse when Remus started hanging around the slytherin as well. Lupin had decided to try and at least be friendly with Snape, he still felt guilty about the shrieking shack incident a few years back and has always wanted to make a mends. Turns out he and Severus got on pretty well and was often seen around him in the halls especially when Malfoy was around as well.
James had his own suspicions on that little fact but chose not to think about it too long for fear of mental scarring.
For his part James was making quite a bit of progress with Snape, the slytherin didn't try to hex him on sight anymore and he let the gryffindor touch him from time to time when no one was around.
Although James wasn't exactly sure what he was doing with Snape, he couldn't deny that he was enjoying himself.
It wasn't till a few days later that things took a turn for the worst.
James was sitting in the common room, attempting to procrastinate on his charms essay when Lily Evans suddenly came bursting through the portrait hole. The girls face was streaming with tears and she looked absolutely heart broken as she rushed up to the girls dormitories.
Lupin followed only seconds later with a deep frown on his face. "Did Evans come through here?"
"Yeah she just went up to her room I think-" James had barely finished his sentence before Remus started walking. "Moony what's going on?"
"I don't know but I think something happened with Severus." The werewolf called over his shoulder as he disappeared up the way of the girls dorms.
James immediately got up and left the common room as he headed down towards the dungeons, the gryffindor was careful not to be caught since it was nearing curfew when he heard a familiar muffled voice. Snape's voice.
James turned and found himself staring at the same door he saw when all of this started. Like before the door stood slightly ajar and just like before, James' eyes widened in shock at what he saw.
Sirius stood at the front of the class room with his arms wrapped around a smaller figure, gently stroking raven hair as he cooed softly.
"I swear I didn't say it-"
"Ssh, I know none of this is your fault, Sev." Sirius said as he started rocking a bit with the slytherin's head buried in his chest. "You didn't do anything wrong, James did."
'James did what?!' Potter moved forward a bit almost not believing what his eyes and ears were telling him.
"Didn't I tell you to stay away from him? I knew he'd hurt you and he did, he's the one who said it you know." Sirius smirked when he felt Severus lean into him a bit more. "He told Lily that you called her a mudblood, that you boasted about how gullible and naïve she was for forgiving you so easily. Stupid little blood traitor whore, is what he said."
James froze while anger stirred violently in the pit of his stomach. He did nothing of the sort!
"But I-"
"I know you didn't Sev, but Lily doesn't." Sirius interrupted in a firm voice and tightened his hold around the boy's shoulders. "She's heartbroken right now, I doubt she'd ever forgive you this time."
Severus said nothing but by the way Padfoot was stroking his hair and the light trembles coming off of his form, It's obvious the raven was crying. "It'll be alright. Don't worry, I'll fix everything."
"How?"
"I'll think of something," Sirius smiled and pulled away from Snape so he could see his face. The gryffindor leaned down to brush Severus' hair away and gently wiped away the went trails running down his cheeks. The raven's eyes were starting to get puffy and his nose was red.
"I'll take care of it. Do you see what happens when you're without me, I'm the only one who cares Sev that's why I'm all you'll ever need."
Severus bit his lip and tried to look away but Padfoot kept his head still. "But Lily-"
"Left you the moment she heard those lies and even though I know she'll only hurt you again, I'll help you get her back."
"Why?"
Sirius smiled and gave Severus a gentle kiss, "Because you're mine. I'd do anything for you Sev, anything to keep you."
"James-"
"James tricked you and he'll do it again." The brunette gave him another kiss, "Don't forget, you can't trust him. I'm all you'll ever need Severus, remember that."
Severus stared into the animagus' eyes and moved forward to kiss him himself and mumbled against his lips. "I'm sorry Sirius."
"It's alright, I forgive you." Sirius breathed before he moved forward and gave the slytherin a deep kiss, wasting no time in slipping his hands up the ravens robes as he pushed him against a desk.
James stood there in the door completely shocked.
Did-did Sirius really?
But no he wouldn't would he?
Unfortunately as James continued to watch them from the door he realised that Sirius could and probably did. He quite possibly ruined Evans and Snape's relationship, just so he could have him back again.
So he could have his toy back where he belonged.
James felt anger rush up to his head in a surge and he gripped the wand in his pocket about to charge into the room and curse his best mate, but he couldn't do that.
If he did that Snape would almost certainly take it the wrong way and in his confused state, he'd never let anyone let alone James get anywhere near him again.
No if he wanted Sirius out of the way once and for all, he'd need to think things through.
So after one more glance at the two groping and kissing on the dungeon floor James turned around and left. Not being able to bring himself to watch like the last time. But that doesn't meant this was over.
Not by a long shot.
Obsession is a dark desire, one that can drive anyone into doing unspeakable things simply to achieve a certain goal. Its when one's determination is corrupted and turned into something more sinister, self serving.
When you'd go to the lengths of even hurting the very thing your obsessed with just to get what you want.
So how do you know when you've crossed the line? How do you know when the very thing your fighting for is the thing your tearing apart.
Who's obsessed and who's just determined?
Is there really a difference between the two. Or is it simply a case of who's willing to go the furthest in order to get what they want.
The End
A/N: seriously as much as I would love to keep going I just can't right now, this was written in at like two o'clock this morning.
Anyway Please review.