Acceptance Chapter 19: Remembrance EPOV, a twilight fanfic

Disclaimer - Everything belongs to the fantastic Stephenie Meyer!

Chapter 19 – Remembrance EPOV

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I led there listening to Bella's sleep talking, I could not help but think of how much we had been through the past week. I thought back to the first day of seeing her again.

I frowned at the stares my family had received but was shocked by their thoughts, especially Newton's and Angela's.

They hated me for hurting Bella. In their minds I had 'broken' her and they hoped I was ashamed to have come back. Angela could not understand how I could leave Bella when we looked so in love. She was disappointed and hoped that our return would not upset Bella even more. They were right, I was ashamed for everything I had done to her but I had believed it was for her safety. It had taken months for Alice to talk to me again and even though Esme understood, she had felt like she had lost a daughter and her son.

I cringed as I witnessed Bella's breakdown in front of Alice but I would never let her know I saw that. I had been confused of her outburst because I had believed that she would get over me. But we had been gone a year and then come back. So I knew it must not have been easy for her...it was not easy for me.

I felt Alice's sadness and love for Bella. Her thoughts hurt me even more, What have we done to her?

Oh how ashamed I was to admit that I was jealous, for Alice to be able to touch her while I cowered away; frightened of the rejection that I was sure to receive. I had missed her terribly; it makes me wince to think of the state I was in when we had left. I had been comatose until Alice's vision...

I had missed her gorgeous mahogany hair, her porcelain skin, her beautiful deep brown eyes and even her clumsy nature. This perfect creature had such an effect on me; she rendered me speechless with her classic beauty. She had not changed one bit but she was more beautiful than ever before.

I smiled when she had suggested shopping to Alice. I know she hated shopping , so it gave me hope but caused me pain to think that she offered this because...maybe, she still loved us.

The day had gone too slow for me, I was nervous to see her but excited at the same time to see her with my own eyes.

I rushed to the cafeteria; I did not want to run into her in the corridor, I would wait until a more private time. I could sense her outside the room and I knew she was hesitating because of me.

I searched for her through the student's thoughts and found Angela Webber walking towards her. She was stood outside the door with a look of conflict and pain on her face and it killed me to know I had put it there.

"Bella!" She jumped and turned to look at Angela,

Oops, I didn't mean to scare her...She looks so sad.

"Sorry...come on, you coming to lunch?" I saw her face change while she thought. I hoped she would come in but I was nervous of her reaction to me.

Edward, will you calm down please otherwise I shall either burst into ecstatic tears or go jump off a bridge! Jasper was frustrated with my ever changing emotions. He was so used to my self-loathing throughout our time away that he and Alice had left for a while. Now we were back, my random emotions caught him off guard.

"Um, yes" I felt happy at her confirmation but this intensified my nervousness.

Angela pushed the double doors open and I saw her. My heart soared at her beauty. In a human sense she looked terrible, she had lost some weight and her eyes looked empty. Her clothes hung off her, hiding her stunning figure, which I was slightly grateful for, but I was sad at how...dead she looked. But she was still my beautiful Bella. She was still the woman I wished to dream of at night. The woman I wished to hold in my arms forever more and I would give anything to make her happy.

Grrrr. I chuckled in my head as the emotions got a hold of Jasper and he gave Alice a passionate kiss. Alice was pleasantly surprised but stopped to look at Bella.

A breeze from the closing doors caught her scent and sent it to me. It was as potent as ever. She smelled delicious and I had to concentrate very hard on staying in my seat.

It is alright Edward, you won't hurt her. You are over this.

I knew my eyes had blackened but Alice was right, I had no desire to take her life. Being away from her had almost killed me and even if the monster in me was begging for her...he could never have her. I would never let him have her.

I watched as Bella got her food and sat with Angela. She is going to look at us in 26 seconds. I nodded to Alice and continued to look at her while counting the seconds. I turned my head to the window just as she looked at us. I did not want to see hate in her eyes. Alice continued to smile at her and I saw her eyes through Alice's, she looked, broken. Her eyes contained so much pain but at the same time love. I winced inwardly, knowing that she had never got over us. We were both broken and I would do anything to make us whole again.

Her beautiful face continued to stare at my head and there was no anger in her eyes. She seemed weak, like she had given too much and had nothing left. This broke my heart and I desperately wanted to take her into my arms and make her better.

Her face was twisted into thought and then she did something that made my silent heart fly...she laughed, a beautiful sound which I would never forget. In my moment of weakness I turned too quickly and my eyes caught hers.

She looked down and blushed. Oh how I had missed that blush. The monster loved seeing the blood rush to her cheeks but the love in my heart for her was stronger and he was pushed deeper away. I wished to stroke her cheek and ask her why she was blushing but I knew it would take a lot for her to trust me again.

I shall have to ask her why she laughed when she awakes.

Angela's voice shook me from my thoughts of Bella's hold on my heart.

"Bella, have you spoken to him?"

"No and I don't plan to" She said to Angela and I caught the note of anger in her tone. My heart almost broke right then. I felt like I needed to leave, I hated not being near her and guilt flooded through my system. I had hurt her too badly for this to be fixed.

Edward, she is going to look at you in 5 seconds.

I turned my eyes to the table as I felt her eyes bore into my head.

"Edward...I love you" Bella's voice shook me from my thoughts and I smiled as I kissed her forehead.

No matter what happens, I will forever be in love with Bella Marie Swan.

I hope you like it! It all fluff! LOL

REVIEW please :) They make Edward smile!!

The faster you review the faster I'll update!! x x x