Chapter 4- I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Little Unwell

"Hold it like this, Hazelnut," Ryou said as he demonstrated the proper way to handle a mixer.

The largely incompetent chef screwed up her face in concentration and delicately took the utensil from her teacher. "Like this?"

He gave a sort of half-shrug. "Close enough. You finish that up and I'll work on the frosting."

" 'Kay."

Everything was fine for about thirty seconds. Then a shriek of surprise was heard as little bits of chocolate cake mix started to fly everywhere.

"Ahhhhh! Ryou, it's possessed!"

He calmly walked over and clicked the off switch.

She blinked at him, chocolate dripping off the end of her nose. "Oh."

"You need to learn not to fear the mixer. It's there to help you, and, trust me, it's not trying to kill you."

"Easy for you to say," the girl muttered, wiping batter off her face. "I've sparred with knife wielding guys who'd slash you to ribbons in a heartbeat, but this thing is pure evil."

Ryou chuckled. "Are you sure you haven't just gone soft? It's hard to imagine a gangster who can't work something as simple as a mixer."

He turned back to the frosting, which turned out to be a mistake.

In one swift fluid motion, Hazelnut had him pinned against the wall.

"Have I gone soft? I could slit your throat in a second," she growled.

Ryou gazed at her calmly. "It would probably take longer than that with a wooden spoon."

Hazelnut grinned sheepishly at her makeshift weapon. "Ah, life wouldn't be any fun anyway if you weren't around." She let go of him.

He dusted himself off. "Your ears are out."

She automatically reached up and touched her head to verify. Sure enough, she could feel the furry warmth of the rounded appendages that now graced her crown.

"Intense. It's a good thing that I didn't get injected until after I quit the gang. Can you imagine these popping out every time we got into a territory war?"

"Yes."

She scowled at him.

"Although," he added. "I'm sure that they look infinitely cuter with your café uniform than your gang coat."

"Shaddup." Hazelnut reddened and turned away. Typical Ryou. If he wasn't insulting her, he was casually throwing about these sorts of comments. He could be incredibly infuriating sometimes.

But by now, she knew how to retaliate.

"Otaku."

Ryou whipped around. "What?"

"You're an otaku," she repeated earnestly. "What's the first thing you did when you discovered the formula to fuse people with animals? You run out and make yourself a cat girl, just like the ones in the manga. Tell me that's not otaku behavior."

"You…"

"…are completely right? I haven't even said anything about these uniforms yet." She crossed her arms and grinned at him in triumph.

He met her gaze steadily. "What I was about to say was, 'You've used that one before'."

"Woah, what're those?"

Ryou laid the intricate schematics down on a desk. "Plans for an auxiliary robot."

Hazelnut scanned through complicated drawings.

"Ryou, are you making this for your younger sister?"

"I don't have a younger sister."

Hazelnut grinned. "So you like making fluffy little robots in your spare time?"

Ryou was slightly put out. "It's a highly advanced piece of technology!"

"With big round eyes, a tiny puffball of a body, and dinky little wings. Looks like something straight out of a shoujo manga."

He said nothing.

"Oh!" she said, in a note of sudden understanding. "I'm sorry. I should have guessed. It's okay; lots of guys are like that. It's a perfectly normal thing."

"What is?" he said warily.

Hazelnut walked around the desk and clucked her tongue pityingly.

"Being an otaku."

"I'm not an otaku!"

She just shook her head. "Denial is the first step, Ryou."

He turned his attention back to his work. "If you keep this up, I'm going to send you up to clean Keiichiro's bedpan."

That shut her up. She meekly resumed her assistant duties.

After a little while, she said, "You wouldn't really, would you?"

Ryou was absorbed in soldering something. "Wouldn't what?"

"Wouldn't send me to clean Akasaka-san's bedpan."

"Of course not. He doesn't have a bedpan. The man only lost his hair; he's not bedridden."

"Oh." The orange-haired girl brightened considerably.

That relief was short lived.

A bell sounded from down the hallway.

Ryou looked up. "That'll be Keiichiro. Now is his luncheon hour."

"Ah," Hazelnut said.

The ringing continued.

"Well?" Ryou said expectantly.

"What?"

"Aren't you going to bring his lunch up to him?"

"What?! Why can't you?"

"I'm working on this right now." The scientist gestured to the pile of wires and spare parts on the table. "It's a very exact process. If I interrupt it, it might not work right."

She cast him a withering glance. "You're just lazy."

"What do you think I hired you for?"

The bell's ringing became more insistent.

"If he doesn't eat soon, he might get angry. No telling what he'll do then," Ryou said casually.

"Fine." She stood up and walked into the kitchen.

"Soup's on the stove," Ryou called.

Hazelnut carefully poured some of the piping hot liquid into a bowl and placed it on a tray.

The hallway suddenly seemed much longer than usual. With slow, deliberate steps, she made her way toward the door.

It let out a deafening 'creeeeeek' when she opened it. Hesitantly, she poked her head inside.

"Akasaka-san? I brought you some soup."

The man was lying in bed, his back turned to Hazelnut. He was keeping up steady conversation with himself.

"-but honestly, he's happier than I've seen him in weeks. I just don't know what to do, Satsuki-chan. That girl is the only cause I can think of, but I simply can't keep her around after what she did to me. If it weren't for him…But don't worry, Satsuki-chan, we'll be together again soon." He giggled insanely.

Hazelnut was thoroughly spooked. "Akasaka-san," she said, a bit loudly.

The gentleman gave a start. "Oh, Edowara-san, how lovely to see you," he said with an award winning smile. "Is that for me?"

Hazelnut's fighter's instincts were going off like crazy. The enemy who smiled at you was to be feared above all others.

She handed him the tray.

"Thank-you, Edowara-san." He never lost his smile. "Have I ever shown you my most prized possession?"

"No." Hazelnut was sure she didn't want to see it.

"Oh, it's quite a treat. Why don't you bring it out of the closet there?"

Hazelnut did as she was told. The closet turned out to be housing a giant, deadly looking samurai sword.

The girl swallowed.

Akasaka-san unsheathed the sword and gave it an experimental wave.

Hazelnut had never felt more exposed. She wished Ryou would let her keep at least one knife on her person. He had said it was silly to carry concealed weapons while she was working for them. "After all," he had said chidingly, "who's going to attack you?"

Hazelnut knew who.

"Edowara-san, wouldn't you say it's the hair that makes the man?" The supposed invalid was stroking his sword menacingly.

"I thought it was what's on the inside that counts."

"Tell that to poor Satsuki-chan."

And Hazelnut discovered who the deranged man had been talking to when she first entered the room. While in one hand he held out the sword, the other lovingly cradled what was left of his former ponytail.

It might have been more pathetic if the girl hadn't been fearing for her life.

"Satsuki-chan is very upset with you, Edowara-san. Satsuki-chan thinks you should be punished."

He raised the sword.

"Wait!" Hazelnut cried. "What about him?" She couldn't really guess who the man might have been referring to earlier, but she sensed that this one thing might keep her from certain death. "Isn't he much happier now?"

"…True." Akasaka-san lowered his weapon. "I don't want to ruin that. It's been so long since he's been this way." The man thought for a moment, then sheathed his sword. "I wouldn't want to do anything that might cause Ryou more pain."

Ryou?! There were major implications to that comment, but Hazelnut was in no mood to consider them.

"You're safe for now."

"Arigato, Akasaka-san." Hazelnut walked briskly to the door and made a mad dash down the hall.

"Tommorow," she told Ryou. "It's your turn."

Gomen-nasai, minna-san! I'm terribly sorry, everyone.

I should have listened to Juniper, because I got… dun dun dun…Writer's Block!

Yeah. And then I had a video project. Two, actually.

And after that was finals.

Yeah, no excuse for falling behind on my writing, I know. If I ever do this professionally, my editor's going to have to beat me. With a stick.

Okay, on a side note, I'm having way too much fun with Keiichiro. I'll get back to the plot (there is a plot, right?) next week.

Gotta give props to whoever wrote the song that provided this chapter's title. It kinda fits, don't you think?

I heart all of you mucho, but this week's chapter is dedicated to , for reminding me why I was doing this in the first place. I hope you're still reading this:D