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Me - _ ... Spoilsport!

Chapter 23 - Nothing to lose

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I stood, ready to tell them my decision.

"Bella?" I turned to the Adonis that was my Edward sitting next to me and smiled at him. He looked positively petrified. I looked at the others and they appeared very wary, especially Jasper.

"Bella, my love...would you care to explain what you are feeling so calm and...determined about?"

Ahhh that is why he is scared.

"Edward...don't overreact-"

"Overreact? What could I possibly have to overreact about, other than the fact that Sam has just told the love of my life that in order for my family to be safe, that she has to forgive, and as if speaking to it wasn't enough, to a jealous mutt?" It came out of his soft pink lips so fast I had to listen very intently to hear it. Yep, he was definitely going to overreact and he had not even heard the worst of it yet.

"Edward, love, please sit down" he surprisingly complied, even though I knew it did nothing for his comfort.

"I'm going to let Jacob off the hook," I warned Edward and the rest of the Cullens'. I tensed ready for the reaction.

"WHAT?!" Edward jumped up and ran to me in under a second.

"Bella, you can't, don't you remember what he did? You cannot do this just to ensure the protection of this family!" I placed my finger on his soft lips to quiet him but he would not sway me from my decision. He took a deep, unnecessary breath and smiled uneasily at me.

"Edward, calm down, why are you so upset about it?" I demanded.

"Haven't you noticed yet Bella, that Edward is just the teeniest bit prone to overreaction?" Edward turned to glare at the pixie but the others and I could not help but laugh at her comment. Jasper silently erased all the panic and tension in my body with his curious talent of controlling emotional atmospheres. Edward turned back to me to stare into my eyes.

"I knew you'd forgive him, holding grudges is not one of your many talents and you are too stubborn for your own good"

I rolled my eyes at his remark, but I was pleased.

"Yep."

He growled a low growl but kept his playful smile on his lips. I could tell he was worried underneath it all but I was happy he was letting me do this my way.

"Okay, but I am going to be there with you!"

"No you're not!" Everyone looked at me like I had sprouted another head.

"Yes I am, you are not going alone!" He was trying to contain his anger at my stubborn attitude but I would remain adamant.

"I know I'm not...Jasper is coming with me" Edward's mouth dropped open and I turned to see everyone else with the same expression.

"Bella...I don't th-"

"Jasper, think about it, I know you wouldn't allow Alice to come with me, Carlisle and Emmett wouldn't like Rosalie or Esme to come and I personally do not want Edward there because of the animosity. Plus you are better trained in a fight just in case, even though there won't be one. It's the perfect plan"

They stared at me, stunned.

"It's not a bad idea, really." Emmett's surprise was definitely an insult. I turned fairly quick for myself and faced Emmett.

"Uh, if I remember rightly Emmet, you have said that before when I came up with a good plan and it worked out quite well, soooo...loose the surprise in your tone!" he looked at me with wide eyes before bursting into a fit of laughter and everyone but Edward joined in, he couldn't quite keep the grimace off his face at that memory. I knew James was a sore subject for him. But I still wondered how he had changed his mind so quickly. I walked to him and traced his features with my fingers, trying to understand his mood.

"Where did all this tolerance come from?" I demanded. He sighed.

"I decided that you were right. My problem before was more about my . . . prejudice against werewolves than anything else. I'm going to try to be more reasonable and trust your judgment. If you say it's safe, then I'll believe you."

"Wow."

"And . . . most importantly . . . I'm not willing to let this drive a wedge between us." I rested my head against his chest, forgetting everyone else in the room and closed my eyes, totally content.

"Ahem" I turned my head to look at Sam and reluctantly pushed myself from Edward's chest.

"Bella, when will you want to speak to Jake?" I thought about it and it seemed that to do it sooner rather than later was the best idea.

"As soon as possible, please Sam" He nodded.

"I shall inform him when I go back now and he shall be here within an hour" He spoke more to Edward than myself and got up to leave. Esme and Carlisle followed, leaving the rest of us in the living room. Edward sighed and pulled my face up to look into his eyes.

I put my hand on Edward's cheek and he lent into it. "I need to see Jacob, to fix this once and for all."

"I know, but they are dangerous and it makes me anxious for you to be near them" His expression slowly folded into a mask of ancient sadness.

"It's truly not dangerous at all," I said, pleading again. "I used to spend all day in La Push with the whole lot of them, and nothing ever happened."

But I made a slip; my voice faltered at the end because I realized as I was saying the words that they were a lie. It was not true that nothing had ever happened. A brief flash of memory - an enormous gray wolf crouched to spring, baring his dagger-like teeth at me - had my palms sweating with an echo of remembered panic. I'll never forget the day I found out about the wolves. Paul had not liked it at all. Edward heard my heart accelerate and nodded as if I'd acknowledged the lie aloud.

"Werewolves are unstable. Sometimes, the people near them get hurt. Sometimes, they get killed."

I wanted to deny it, but another image slowed my rebuttal. I saw in my head the once beautiful face of Emily Young, now marred by a trio of dark scars that dragged down the corner of her right eye and left her mouth warped forever into a lopsided scowl. He waited, grimly triumphant, for me to find my voice.

"You don't know them," I whispered.

"I know them better than you think, Bella. I was there this afternoon." Yes and thank god there had not been bloodshed then, apart from Jake's face.

"I need to do this Edward, to fix this, I owe him anyway" He looked into my eyes before closing his own, sighing.

"I know...so do I."

He had no idea how very much I owed Jacob Black - my life many times over, and possibly my sanity, too. I didn't like to talk about that barren time with anyone, and especially not Edward. He had only been trying to save me when he'd left, trying to save my soul. I didn't hold him responsible for all the stupid things I'd done in his absence, or the pain I had suffered.

He did.

So I would have to word my explanation very carefully.

"If Jacob hadn't helped me . . . I'm not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better than this, Edward, even if he did hurt me."

I looked up at his face warily. His eyes were closed, and his jaw was strained.

"I'll never forgive myself for leaving you," he whispered. "Not if I live a hundred thousand years." I put my hand against his cold face and waited until he sighed and opened his eyes.

"You were just trying to do the right thing. And I'm sure it would have worked with anyone less mental than me. Besides, you're here now. That's the part that matters."

"If I'd never left, you wouldn't feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a dog." These insults always sounded harsher than Jake's when they were in Edward's velvet voice.

"You have to trust me on this. I'll be fine."

His face was pained again. "Please, Bella," he whispered. I stared into his suddenly burning golden eyes.

"Please what?"

"Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I'll do everything I can, but I would appreciate a little help."

"I'll work on it," I murmured.

"Bella, please my love, don't say anything to upset him and please be safe, I know Jasper will be with you but I still worry." He took my face in his hands. "There are things between my hands right now that I can't live without. You should take care of them." And then he flashed that crooked smile that always destroyed my resistance.

"Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?" He pulled me tighter against his hard chest, tucking my head under his chin.

I pressed my lips against his snow-cold neck.

"I know how much I love you," I answered.

"You compare one small tree to the entire forest." I rolled my eyes, but he couldn't see.

"Impossible."He kissed the top of my head and sighed. I looked up at his gorgeous face and his breath was cool against my open lips. I could taste his scent on my tongue.

If I had my way, I would spend the majority of my time kissing Edward. There wasn't anything I'd experienced in my life that compared to the feeling of his cool lips, marble hard but always so gentle, moving with mine.I didn't often get my way.

So it surprised me a little when his fingers braided themselves into my hair, securing my face to his. My arms locked behind his neck, and I wished I was stronger - strong enough to keep him prisoner here.

One hand slid down my back, pressing me tighter against his chest. Even through his sweater, his skin was cold enough to make me shiver - it was a shiver of pleasure, of happiness.

"Ummm, Bella?" I opened my eyes in shock.

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Hope you all liked it!

This chapter did contain parts from New Moon and Eclipse because they were perfect for this chapter!

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