One to Five
Elliot had a special way he liked to deal with rejection, especially a rejection as sweet as Alexandra Cabot. He had made this a well played plan that he had practiced for many years every single time he faced such frustrations. It was a ritual that he had shared with his best friend and it was one that he could happily celebrate alone.
The first step was finding a place. It was important that it be somewhere that no one would know him. He liked it dark and dank. He wanted it to look on the outside like he felt on the inside. He wanted it to be a place no sane person would go into. He wanted to be surrounded by people who had lives as pathetic as his. He only did this in his lowest moments.
He would find a seat, near the back but where he could still see the front door. Cop thing, couldn't break it. He kept his head down and his order simple. He wanted to be forgotten, and anything too flashy about him would draw attention. He would stare into the grain of the wood on the bar, if it even had wood. He would trace the grain with his finger, watching the lines run parallel and while they ran close, they never crossed.
He sat back and ordered the first one. It all started with a deep amber liquid swirling in a tiny glass. The first one always stung a little. He hadn't done this for awhile, swearing it off when it helped bring down his marriage the first time. But who was he kidding? His marriage was shit anyway. He had been accused of finding solace in the bottom of a bottle, and he would do it again tonight, consequences be damned. There was one way that he could numb his soul and remove all emotion, and this was it. Now what did he have to refrain for? If Kathy found out he was drinking was that anything compared to the consequences of her discovering what ran through his mind when he thought of Alex's body against that wall? What he had done?
The second one was easier. It still had a burn to it, but it helped to loosen him up. He stared into the bottom of the glass. The coaster was distorted through the bottom, just like his vision. What was he thinking? He made a move on his best friend's girl? He could see now what Olivia saw in Alex. All of what she saw in Alex. Those swirling blue eyes. The thoughtfulness. He could only imagine what she would be like in bed. God what was he thinking. When did this start?
The third drink helped clear his thinking. He could remember the first time he had realized he had feelings for her. In that ER waiting room when she had crawled into his arms and begged him to hold her. When he was angry at Olivia for her--that should have been his red flag. She was his best friend, and he was willing to fight her over Alex. He was willing to risk it all to ask her to treat Alex better. That should have been a monument to stupidity.
The fourth drink brought the full clarity to the situation. Maybe what he had don't wasn't so bad. Perhaps there was a reasonable justification for the move he had made. Maybe she felt it too? He knew it wasn't just about shock and awe. She felt something for him. He could tell by the way she acted. They might be over, Alex and Liv. Alex had left. He had to go pick up the pieces. He tried to work it out between them and Alex still wasn't sure. Maybe he was just providing her with all her options. Letting her know that there were more fish in the sea, so to speak? Maybe that was all bullshit and he knew it. Time for another.
The fifth one would provide oblivion. Elliot let this one last. He sniffed it carefully, like a connoisseur, before he slammed it back. It tasted just as good as the first. The fifth one was the one that let him make his decision. He had to do something. He looked into the bottom of the glass for the advice he knew he would find written there. With a flash of an alcohol addled brain, he knew what he must to.
To Be Continued…