Chapter Four: Old Memories
Not mine.
Okay, I think you've suffered enough. Enjoy!
I grabbed at my throat when my brain registered there was no sound coming out. A man with extremely messy, shoulder-length hair in ragged, gray robes walked out of the closet, wand aimed at my head. I stared for a moment then remembered who he was and placed my hands on my hips, giving him a glare. He seemed taken aback for a moment before he returned the glare.
"I'm going to give you your voice back and then you will tell me which room belongs to the Weasleys," his voice croaked and he was a tad threatening sounding, but I kept my glare in place, though my wand was back in its pocket. He waved his wand and I felt a tingle in my throat but said nothing. "Well?" he demanded.
"Sirius Black if you ever scare me like that again I will have your head," I stated. His face looked blank. Oh right…I'm Kailey…he doesn't know who I am…
"I think you've got it backwards here," he said slowly, though I detected a hint of amusement. "I'm the one with the wand and you're the underage witch."
"Very good, but technically I'm not underage," I answered. Before he could ask me what I meant, I turned around and locked the door behind me. Then I willed myself to be Keena and turned to face him.
He dropped his wand and stared at me. "You never told me you could do that," he managed to say.
"I had more important things to tell you in Azkaban," I shrugged. "Anyway, what the hell are you doing here?"
"Getting revenge," he replied with a shrug of his own. "And what are you doing here? The roster I saw said this was a 'Ms. Snape's' room,"
My eyes widened and I looked at the floor immediately. "Um…it…well earlier this summer…" how on earth do I tell him that I'm the daughter of his worst enemy from his school days…?
"Earlier this summer you did what?"
"Found out…some things…About my…well—my parents. Particularly my—er—Kailey's dad," I fiddled with my hands for a moment before I looked up in time to see an expression of understanding cloud over his sunken face.
"I'll bet that was a tad shocking?" he coughed when his voice scratched too much, but he was smiling like he had before Azkaban. "Did you really think I'd care who your dad was when I've got people like my parents related to me?"
"Didn't exactly cross my mind really," I said, scratching my head.
"Well, how did Remus take it? I mean, you mentioned you lived with him after everything,"
"I don't know…I don't think he knows…" I answered, feeling slightly guilty. As far as I knew, Remus didn't know who really was. I had just disappeared to him as well as far as I knew.
"Oh," Sirius sounded as confused as I felt guilty. "Well, anyway, would you tell me where the Weasleys are? I want to get this over with,"
I sighed, my hands returning to my hips.
"Come on I'm…" he paused, a small grin forming on his face.
"Go ahead, say it," I replied, a grin of my own forming.
"I'm serious!" as soon as the words left his mouth he proceeded to laugh in his croaking voice for about a minute. Probably his first real laugh in thirteen years…
"I know," I replied as he sobered himself. "I know you want to get it over with but…"
"But what? Do you have any idea how much I tortured myself once I realized what you meant when you told me I was innocent? I didn't even understand what it was supposed to mean until the nightmares started and I felt the guilt settling in. And now you're telling me to wait longer? Sorry, but I don't think I can do that,"
"Yes. Do you know who I just talked to? Harry. And he's under the impression that you are out to kill him to resurrect Voldemort and that his godmother has abandoned him in favor of helping her lover escape from Azkaban and fleeing the country. If you do anything without explaining your side to Harry, he'll never believe you,"
"So when do you propose I talk to him?"
"The situation will most likely present itself," I replied.
"And where am I to go in the mean time?" he demanded. Way to go for the tough question…now I should bring up Lily and James…
"How much do you trust me?" I asked quietly. He frowned.
"Completely," he replied without hesitation.
"Alright," I put up a silencing charm as a precaution. "They live in the cabin in the Forbidden Forest. If you start at the Shrieking Shack and walk northwest, you will run into it. If you get lost, lay your wand in your hand and say Point me, Marauders. They'll explain everything."
"One question, who is 'they'?" I closed my eyes and morphed back into Kailey.
"You'll have to see them to find out. Now," I turned and walked over to the door. "How are you planning on getting out of here?"
"Well, it was a little difficult getting in, but if you transfigured me into a cat…" he trailed off, looking over at Whitetip, a faint gleam in his eye.
The next morning I woke up to a kitten pawing at my head. I shoved her off of my chest and onto the pillow, and rubbed my eyes before the night's events washed over me. I moaned and rolled off of the bed—literally. After cursing and picking myself off of the floor I meandered over to the bathroom and got myself ready to leave. I had managed to spread the few belongings I had brought with me all over the room and it took me a total of fifteen minutes to gather everything and get Whitetip into her cage.
I opened my door to find myself face-to-face with Hermione, her fist in the air as though about to knock.
"Oh, good, you're up. Mrs. Weasley is at what Ron called her 'worrying stage'. I don't know how many times she's had Ron and Percy go and check their room." She said, standing aside to let me out of the room and we began heading down the stairs.
"How long has she been in this 'stage' for?" I asked, a grin playing at my face.
"About an hour and a half," Hermione answered, checking her watch. "It's probably best that you and Harry didn't bring much, she'd probably be worse with three extra trunks instead of just one,"
We arrived in the lobby just as Mr. Weasley, Percy and the twins began taking the trunks out to the ministry cars. Ten minutes later the cars were completely packed and we all loaded ourselves in with only twenty minutes to get to the train station.
"Father, why did the ministry give us cars?" Percy asked as we walked along the train station towards the platform.
"Because your just that special, Perce," Fred replied.
"And when did you become a father?" Percy tried to retaliate.
"I'd answer that, but mum would have a fit," Fred replied, and George grinned as Percy stumbled in surprise.
"Enough arguing boys," Mrs. Weasley cried over her shoulder distractedly. "Harry, Ron, you two first this time," she said after only a second's hesitation. Hermione and I followed the two of them in and the four of us went off in search of an empty car. When we didn't find one immediately, we decided to leave our trunks in the corridor and go to say our goodbyes to the Weasleys before we left.
"Thank you so much, Mrs. Weasley," I said as she engulfed me in one of her mother-bear hugs.
"Oh, any time, dear," she replied, as she moved on to give Hermione a hug.
The first whistle of the train blew and we all rushed onto the train.
"Kailey, where did Harry go?" Ron called over the second whistle. I looked around for a moment to see if Ron had just missed him only to realize for myself where he was.
"I think your dad wanted to talk to him." I replied as the wheels of the train began to move. "And I also think that he'd better hurry up," the train was picking up some speed, but Harry still hadn't made an appearance.
"There he is!" Ron shouted, pointing to wear Harry was as he tried to weave his way through the crowd and onto the train. "Faster, Harry!"
Ron outstretched his hand and pulled Harry onto the train just as we reached the end of the platform. He pulled too enthusiastically, though, and they both went flying back, landing on the floor in a somewhat questionable position. Hermione and I broke out laughing and soon joined them on the floor as they knocked us over in retaliation. We ended up in a giant, four-person jumble on the floor of the compartment.
After we disentangled ourselves, we decided to go in search of an empty compartment. The first compartment we looked into was full. So was the second. And the twenty-fifth…
"How many compartments are on this train?" I complained as we closed the twenty-sixth door. It had been housing some fifth year Hufflepuffs. They had offered to give us room, but that would have given the four of us a total of one seat.
"We must be getting close to the end," Hermione muttered.
"Wait a minute; you don't know how many compartments there are on the train?" I asked, smiling. "Let the records show Hermione Granger does not know every secret to Hogwarts!" I proclaimed.
"It's not that I don't know!" Hermione flustered as we continued on into the last car. "It's that they change it depending on the number of students that attend,"
"Alright, relax, I'll erase the records," I sniggered as Harry opened the last door.
"C'mon, guys, we might as well," he said, gesturing into the compartment.
We filed into the compartment, shoving our trunks up onto the racks along with the two cat-carriers as quietly as we could so that we wouldn't wake up the sleeping pile of blankets in the corner.
"Is that Remus?" Ron asked quietly, peering over the blankets as though he could get a better view.
"Yeah, he's the new Defense teacher," I replied. I didn't bother to whisper, he was a heavy sleeper, especially on nights after the full moon.
"D'you think he could answer some of my questions?" Harry asked out of the blue.
"What questions? Maybe we could answer them, he doesn't look well," Hermione suggested, a worried look crossing over her face.
"How can you tell? You can't even see him," Ron replied.
"I agree with Hermione," I said quickly. "Besides, he probably doesn't know any more than we do on the matter," I added to Harry.
"What is going on?" Ron asked, beginning to get frustrated.
Harry gave one final look at Remus before turning to the rest of us. "You guys know how Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban and everything?" Ron and Hermione nodded. "Well, Dumbledore told me that they think he's after me. Apparently he was Voldemort's right hand man and he thinks that by killing me, he'll bring Voldemort back," Hermione gasped and covered her mouth while Ron's jaw dropped.
"Kailey, why didn't you do something?" Hermione asked after a moment. I gave an exasperated sigh.
"Do you all honestly believe that I would let anything happen to any of you? I promised to tell Dumbledore about any deadly encounters and I intend to keep my word," I replied, doing my best not to sound angry, or annoyed for that matter.
"So you don't think that a lunatic escaping from Azkaban that's out to get Harry is a good enough reason to tell Dumbledore?" Ron asked.
"Of course that would be a reason to tell Dumbledore," I answered. "But nothing is going to happen involving a life-threatening situation."
"Three words; Chamber of Secrets,"
"One word; handled," I retorted. "There is nothing I can do about Black at this point in any case. He's already escaped and that's not going to change any time soon,"
"But none of this is what I really wanted to tell you two," Harry interjected before either Ron or Hermione could say anything.
"What there's more?" Ron asked.
"When Kailey and I were on the Knight Bus--"
"I've always wanted to ride that thing," Ron commented.
"—the driver and the conductor told us about Black and his girlfriend."
"So?" Ron asked. "Why do we care who he was with?"
"Because it was my godmother," Harry replied.
"That actually makes sense," Hermione said thoughtfully. "Think about it. She never talked about dating anybody and she lived with Remus and he's more of a brother to her, anyone could see that."
"I don't see how you could make that connection," Ron replied, shaking his head.
"Because, Ron, don't you remember all that stuff Lockhart said about her? And how she was always so protective of Harry? And now she's just gone? Have you even heard from her, Harry?" Hermione asked. Harry shook his head.
"But I do know she went to see him in Azkaban a week before he escaped." He replied.
"I wonder…It looks to me like there are two options." She stated. "Either she helped him escape or…"
"Or what?" I asked, truly interested to see what she would say.
"Or she's running from Black, distracting him from Harry, maybe," Hermione shrugged.
"But why wouldn't she tell me?" Harry asked.
"Because you wouldn't have wanted her to do that," I replied, rolling my eyes at him.
"That's not the point," he argued. "No matter what she's done, she should have told me first. That way I wouldn't be so confused or worried," Guilt factor…big time guilt factor…
I opened my mouth to say something when suddenly both cats began hissing fiercely. I got up and let Whitetip out and held her on my lap while Hermione stood to let Crookshanks out, but Ron began protesting immediately and the two of them began bickering back and forth for a while. I contented myself with staring out the window, petting the kitten and leaning my head against the cool glass.
It began raining about an hour into the journey and the lamps all turned on. Ron and Harry were talking about Quidditch and the new Firebolt, while Hermione had started reading one of the course books on Divination. A chapter into the book she deemed the subject as nothing more than guess work and moved on to read her Arithmancy book. When the lady with the trolley came, I put Whitetip back into her cage so that I could eat my Bertie Bott's in peace.
Eventually we all fell into a comfortable silence and I was contemplating taking a nap when the train jerked and began slowing down.
"We can't be there already," Hermione muttered, looking at her watch.
"We're not," I replied, checking my pocket for my wand only to realize it wasn't there. "Shit," I jumped up just as the train gave another quick jerk and I fell over onto the ground.
"Kailey, what are you doing?" Ron asked, helping me back up.
"I want my wand," I muttered. "And it's not in my pocket," I stood and reached up for my over-night bag and pulled it down.
Just as I began to rummage through it, the lights flickered and died out. A sudden chill seemed to wash over us all and I searched through my bag with a renewed adrenaline, the temperature seeming to drop every second. Finally, I felt my hand connect with my wand and my fingertips warmed ever so slightly to its touch.
"Lumos," I muttered. The light it provided was so faint I wasn't even sure the spell had worked at first. "Guys, listen to me, think of the happiest thoughts you can come up with," I instructed, the light coming from my wand steadily waning out due to my nerves at having to see another dementor.
"Kailey, what's going on?" Hermione asked nervously.
"I trust you've heard of Dementors?" I asked. Even in the dark, I noticed all three of them paling. I turned to Remus and shook his shoulder gently. "Professor?" I asked. He gave a groan before emerging out of the blankets, lighting his wand.
"Why have we stopped?" he asked after a moment. Before any of us could respond, the door began sliding open.
I felt my breath quickening; a sensation of drowning in cold was submerging me.
Think happy…think happy…
Suddenly the screams seemed much closer and I gasped as cold air flooded the room. I thought I heard another bang but next moment I saw Mrs. Potter laying in her own pool of blood and the inferi of Mr. Potter standing over her…
No…No…something happy…something happy…
I tried to think of a happy time, but Mr. and Mrs. Potter kept reappearing. Suddenly there was another loud bang and I looked up to see a seven-foot monster gliding in towards me, its cold, gray hand reaching out from under the sleeves of its cloak.
I took a step back only to trip over a book that had fallen to the floor. I landed on my back and hit my head on the side of the bed. I gasped out in pain and the cold seemed to deepen.
NO! Happy thoughts…!
The dementor continued to come closer. Floating over me, it slowly reached up and began lowering its hood…
No…happy thoughts…something good…
Its hood was now completely lowered as it hovered above me. Skin was stretched over where the dementor's eyes should have been. It had no nose or ears to speak of, just a mouth. A round hole sucking in a rattling breath and letting out bone chilling air. I tried one last time to apparate but was unable to. I cowered in fear, drowning in every moment of misery I had ever lived through.
One happy thought…no…not Mrs. Potter…happy…be happy for the baby!
I couldn't feel any warmth around me, though. I was shivering and still a happy thought would not occur.
The dementor was closer now. I moved my hands defensively over my stomach as if that would protect the life inside of me. It began stretching out its own hands and I couldn't get away. Its clammy hands pried mine away from my stomach and it opened its mouth wide.
All I could do was scream as a small ball of white light rose from out of my stomach. I tried desperately to move away from the dementor, kicking my legs and trying to pry my hands away, but the harder I tried, the faster my unborn baby's soul moved towards the dementor's mouth. I watched in horror as it sucked in the soul before the light completely disappeared…
"Kailey!"
My eyes snapped open to find myself lying on the one of the seats on the train. The lights had come back on and we were moving at the normal speed again. I tried to sit up, but found a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to lay back. It was Harry.
"H—how long?" I asked, shakily. I was shaking all over and I still felt cold. But he shook his head in response.
"Doesn't matter right now, Remus said you need to stay lying down if you woke up while he wasn't here." Harry said.
I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hand, trying to contain my emotions from coming out too strongly. It had been the first dementor I had seen that was intent on attacking me in thirteen years. I should have been more prepared than that…I should have known…
"Did…did I scream at all?" I asked after a moment. Harry looked to Hermione who shook her head.
"No one was screaming. Harry asked if he had heard someone as well," she was looking between us as if trying to decide who she was more concerned about.
"I'm such an idiot," I groaned, still shaking. I leaned back and I could feel tears prickling at my eyes.
"There was nothing you could do," we all looked up to see Remus standing in the doorway. "They were going to search the train no matter what," he added to our stunned looks.
"Professor? How did you--"
"I'm not as heavy of a sleeper as I look," he shrugged off Hermione's question before she could get it out. Maybe he did realize who I am…
"How long was I out for?" I asked again, steadying my voice as much as I could.
"Well, if you only just woke up, then quite a while," Remus replied. "You should have some of this," he added, handing me a bit of chocolate. I took it, but didn't eat it. "It will make you feel better,"
Reluctantly, I nibbled on the end of the sweet, warmth spreading through to my toes almost immediately. The train began slowing down moments later and I realized that I had been out much longer than I had thought I would have been. I sat up slowly, feeling slightly dizzy as I did so, before standing up with the others.
We said goodbye to Remus and headed, slowly, for the 'horseless' carriages. It took me a moment to realize that the carriages had always been drawn by thestrals, but seeing them for the first time in so long brought back enough memories of Mrs. Potter's death to make me want to vomit. I managed to hold my own, however, and the four of us made it into the castle without much of a problem.
Within two seconds of entering, however, I found myself being accosted by what seemed to be a worried-to-death Snape.
"I knew you shouldn't have ridden that train in!" he growled, pulling me away from the crowd. "You should have just met up with your friends here. Then we wouldn't be in this mess," If I pretended he wasn't scowling or growling, I could tell he was genuinely concerned.
"I'm fine," I lied. He glared at me.
"You are not fine. Neither is Mr. Potter as I understand it," he added. It was then that I noticed Harry, Ron and Hermione had followed us. "Madame Pomfrey will wish to have a look at the both of you."
"Oh, Ms. Granger, there you are. You will follow me, please, I'd like a word. Madame Pomfrey is in my office, Severus, she wants a look at these two," McGonagall added nodding at me and Harry. "Mr. Weasley, your friends will join you in a moment," she told Ron, dismissing him to go to the Great Hall.
The walk to McGonagall's office was silent, but speedy. She and Hermione began talking quietly in the corner of the office; meanwhile, Harry and I were being accosted by Pomfrey. The second Harry and I stepped through the doorway; Pomfrey was hounding us into eating large chocolate bars and complaining profusely about the dementors tormenting 'delicate' children.
"Professor Lupin already gave us chocolate," I stated, shoving the piece that Snape was attempting to force into my mouth away. "And I'm not delicate," I added, giving Pomfrey an annoyed glare.
"As I understand it, both of you were unconscious for a time after the dementors left the train. Therefore, you should each have more chocolate, whether you feel you need it or not," she huffed. "In fact, I'm not so sure either of you should attend the feast, least of all you, Ms. Snape,"
"I feel fine now," I replied angrily.
"Now yes, but what about later? No, I think it best for you to come straight up to the Hospital Wing," she said the last part mostly to Snape, who, to my frustration, nodded in agreement.
"Please, at least let me go to the feast! Being around such happy people has to have a good impact on the whole thing anyway, right?" I begged, using the best puppy-dog eyes I could muster, praying they would affect Snape at least a little bit.
"Alright, but if I think you look over-exerted, I will remove you from the Great Hall myself," Snape warned. At least he responds to puppy-dog eyes…
"As for you, Mr. Potter," Pomfrey said, turning towards Harry once more. "You were not under the dementor's influence nearly as long so I will allow you to go to your dorm tonight, but if you are not feeling well I want you to come straight to the Hospital Wing,"
Harry agreed to, though I knew he probably wouldn't, and we all headed for the feast, Hermione and McGonagall having finished their discussion before we had finished our own. We arrived at what seemed to be the tail end of the sorting (Flitwick was trotting away with the hat). Our late arrival in the hall won us a few confused glances and Snape's presence allowed for muttering to take place throughout the hall. Harry, Hermione and I all took our seats at Gryffindor table where Ron had saved them. McGonagall and Snape took their respective seats at the head table just as Flitwick returned to his own seat and Dumbledore stood up, silencing all whispered conversations immediately.
"Now that the sorting is completed and we are all assembled, I have a few notices to mention before we begin our feasting. As many of you I'm sure noticed, Hogwarts is hosting some guests on the grounds this year. I am going to warn you all now; the Azkaban Guards are not forgiving creatures. They sense your emotions, so clever tricks and invisibility do not have any effects on them. I must ask you not to cross them for they will not understand a child's error." He paused to allow his words to sink in throughout the hall before continuing.
"On a happier note, we are pleased to welcome our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Lupin," Remus stood up and gave a small wave. The Weasleys, Harry, Hermione and I all clapped enthusiastically which in turn caused the rest of Gryffindor to join in leading to the entire school giving Remus a warm welcome (minus the Slytherins). "And before you all get too engrossed in your meals to care, the Forbidden Forest is now more forbidden than ever for obvious reasons."
And with that the feast began, the first normal thing to have occurred since the beginning of the summer. I had a feeling it would be the last somewhat normal night for a long time…
That giant itializied part is from chapters 10 and 11 of Making Promises.
Sorry it took so long and the ending is kind of sudden but I've been dealing with studying for finals…blegh…but they're almost done now! I'll do my best to get chapter 5 up ASAP! Thanks for reading and please review!
:-D