Chapter Twelve: A Slammed Door

Nope, not mine…

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"What do you mean I can't go to Hogsmeade?" I shouted.

Some of the students on their way into the Great Hall stared at Snape and me for a moment before scurrying into the Hall, not wanting to suffer from any sort of backlash. It was the morning of the December Hogsmeade trip and I had been planning on doing my Christmas shopping for everyone. The news that I could not go was rather upsetting to say the least.

"I mean that you are not able to attend." Snape growled.

"Yeah, no kidding," I grumbled. "Why not?" I demanded, folding my arms and glaring.

"Because your presence is required at the Three Broomsticks," he said in his freaky-threatening-whisper-thing so that no one besides me could hear him.

"Why can't I just stop there while I'm in the village?" I replied in kind.

"Because it isn't your presence, it's hers,"

"You mean Keena?" I asked in a whisper this time, confused.

"Yes,"

"What for and with whom?"

"You know that certain members of the staff know of your condition? They merely wish to discuss a few things with you,"

"They're just wondering about Sirius, aren't they?" I groaned. Snape rolled his eyes, but nodded all the same. "My excuse to stay away from my friends will be what exactly?"

"Have we not just had an argument in front of the Great Hall? You're grounded."

"Not for real grounded, right? Just as a cover up?"

"Depending on how you treat the teachers, no, not really,"

"Yes because I really wanted to spend my entire Hogsmeade trip talking about Sirius with teachers who have known me since I was eleven. The first time," I added in an undertone. "Fine, let the acting begin,"

"That is unacceptable behavior," he growled out loudly enough for a couple of late risers to stare.

"Oh right, sorry, because you were really there to teach me anything that was acceptable!" I retorted in a low blow.

"Do not raise your voice at me!" He sounded seriously angry now. Maybe I'd talk to him about it later...

Students were beginning to gather near the front of the Great Hall and those who were still on the stairs had stopped completely. I noticed Harry, Ron and Hermione standing behind Snape. They were giving me frantic signals to quit while I was ahead.

"I'll raise my voice at anyone I want to if they insult me first!"

"That's the end of it; you are not to go to Hogsmeade today!"

"Whatever, I'll just hang out with someone else!" I growled.

"No, you shall be spending the entire of Christmas holiday with me, in a formal detention!"

"You can't do that!"

"I can and I just have, now come with me!"

The crowd that had formed parted quickly, allowing us through to the dungeons as though afraid to get hit by a hex. It was always best to pretend to be angry when you were seriously annoyed with something, though, and I was very annoyed with the fact that I wouldn't get to go to Hogsmeade for fun.

"So, that was a fun performance," I said as I shut the door to Snape's quarters behind me. "Sorry about that low blow, by the way," I added guiltily.

"The topic was bound to come up eventually," he replied. "However, I do need you to behave well in front of your teachers,"

"You mean in front of your co-workers?" I grinned. "No problem. What time am I expected anyway?"

"Around noon," he answered.

"So what do you expect me to do until then?"

"Over the summer I believe you requested permission to redecorate your room, did you not?"

"Say no more, I've got it covered," I grinned, racing over to my room. I opened the door and gave a yell of surprise. "What the hell? I'm not a Hufflepuff!" I shouted over my shoulder. I attempted to change all the yellow to gold and the black to scarlet but the yellow just got brighter and more obnoxious looking. I tried again and I was suddenly covered in canary yellow paint. "Oi! What's the deal! My room looks like it's been invaded by bumblebees!"

I turned around to glare at Snape and blinked in surprise as a camera flash went off in my face. I blinked away the black spots that were now impeding my vision to find Snape laughing. Not a small snicker, but actually laughing and I couldn't help but start laughing with him.

"You're not angry with me?" he asked once we had both calmed down.

"Why? It's all in good fun," I grinned. "That and I assume you have a counter-curse because I can't honestly see you allowing me to walk around like a great big lemon."

He shook his head and flicked his wand. "I don't want to look like a lime either," I said slightly annoyed as I inspected my now green hands.

"I couldn't resist," he replied. One more flick and I was the correct color.

"Now, how about fixing my room?" I suggested.

"I think those colors suit you," he answered.

"So you'd rather have a Hufflepuff for a daughter instead of a Gryffindor?" I challenged.

He thought carefully for a moment. "I suppose you are right," he sighed and flicked his wrist. "How does that look?"

My room was now completely gold and scarlet. There was even a lion's head on the head board instead of the great snake that had resided there before. I frowned.

"What's wrong with it now?" he asked exasperatedly.

"Nothing, it just reminds me of Potter Mansion is all," I replied, quickly grinning. "I love it,"

"Shall I change it to neutral colors?" he asked, placing a hand on my shoulder a concerned look I'd rarely ever seen in his eyes.

"No, I like it," I said earnestly. "Now, what possessed you to prank me?"

He looked at me warily for a moment before replying with a smirk, "Years of deserved payback,"

"Merlin, it's freezing out here," I chattered, hugging my scarf closer to my face. I had waited until all of the students years three and up had gone to Hogsmeade (including Fred and George whom I had watched leave) before I transformed into Keena. Hagrid, McGonagall, Flitwick and I were now wading through the blizzard heading for the Three Broomsticks. Apparently Dumbledore had wanted to join us but decided to deflect Fudge from visiting instead.

"It always has been this time of year," McGonagall replied as Hagrid pulled the door open as gently as he could. "Thank you, Hagrid,"

"'S me pleasure, Professor,"

"Hagrid, please, we are co-workers," McGonagall said, heading for a table near the back.

"Yeah, just call her Mickey," I grinned, nervously looking around for a floating tree. I shouldn't've agreed to this…he's going to be so angry with me…

"That isn't quite what I meant," McGonagall replied, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, Minerva, let her be, she's been dying to call you that all year," Flitwick squeaked. "Could you imagine if her father had heard her just now, though?" he added.

"I'd imagine he would have given her one of his signature glares,"

"So, who wants drinks?" I asked, cutting into the conversation. "I'll go and get--"

"Keena McIntosh? Is that you?"

"Hello, Madame Rosmerta," I replied, warily. "Long time no see,"

"Well I'll say, last I heard you weren't even in the country," she replied, flipping open her little order booklet. "Shall it be the usual for you, Hagrid and Keena, that is?"

"That all depends on what the usual is," McGonagall said, giving me a significant look.

I gawked. "Are you telling me I have to order something…non-alcoholic?"

"It was one of the agreements I had with your father for him to allow you to come with us today," she answered.

"Father?" Rosmerta asked, confused, looking from McGonagall to me. "How could that be? You grew up with James Potter, didn't you?"

"Yes I did," I answered, giving McGonagall a glare. "I've been out of the country spending time with my parents whom I recently found," I lied smoothly. "And yes, I'll have the usual, Rosmerta,"

Flitwick and McGonagall ordered their drinks and Rosmerta walked away.

"Mickey, you know I don't have parents," I growled.

"I can't believe you got a Fire Whiskey. I can't believe that's a usual for you," she answered.

"Well, I've got to get rid of my emotional scars from the war and watching Merlin knows how many people die and the death of my daughter and arrest of her father somehow," I replied, rolling my eyes. "Honestly, did you think I did something healthy like go to therapy or talk to Remus?" she ignored my sarcasm.

"That isn't funny in the least. Do you know how many people have done just that? And you do have a father and I won't be able to look him in the eye for a week now," she complained after admonishing me.

"Let me handle him," I replied. She looked frustrated for a moment before nodding. "Now, can we make this short? I don't want anybody to see me here,"

"Why not?" Flitwick asked.

"I'm almost certain that word will get back to Harry and then he'll get angry with me. Angrier," I amended after a moment.

"Go up to the castle and say hello then," he suggested.

"I can't, Dumbledore doesn't want me on the grounds and Fudge will arrest me if he sees me," I answered, leaning back in my chair and rubbing my eyes.

"That is partially what we wished to discuss with you," McGonagall said. "Thank you, Rosmerta," she added as Rosmerta arrived with the drinks.

"It's not a problem at all," she answered before hurrying back to the bar where a bunch of rowdy (and most likely drunk) warlocks sat calling for more mead.

"What is, the fact that I'll get arrested if I'm seen or that Dumbledore doesn't want me on the grounds?" I asked.

"I jus' don' understand why the Headmaster won' letch yeh on the grounds," Hagrid answered. "Yeh've done so much fer him over the years an' it don' seem righ',"

"We figured that it must have to do with Black," Flitwick added.

"Then you've figured right," I replied. "He thinks I'm biased and can't make a proper judgment, despite the fact that I spoke to Sirius while he was still in Azkaban. Not to mention I was in the house when Lily and James died,"

"Excuse me, did I hear correctly? Only I thought I heard you say that you were there the night the Potters died," Rosmerta was back, holding a tray of empty tankards. The door opened and I looked over to see the drunken warlocks leaving, shouting obscenities behind them.

I nodded.

"But I thought no one knew where they were hidden?"

I shook my head. "I was living with them at the time,"

"That's right," Flitwick muttered. "Sirius had been on a mission and he didn't want you living alone,"

"Yes, I had stayed with them since then. I remember that Halloween far better than I'd like to," I replied, feeling my voice growing far away.

"What exactly happened? When You-Know-Who got there?" Rosmerta asked, curious for the unknown gossip.

"James and I had been talking when we saw Voldemort's cloak. It had to have been him, the Secret Keepers had just switched and nobody would have used the door," I began, almost automatically editing out certain parts of the story. "James shoved me towards the stairs and told me to get Lily to take Harry and run while he held Voldemort off. James was dead before I reached Harry's bedroom. I heard him fall. I screamed at Lily to apparate away but he'd put some kind of ward up and neither of us could get out. Before I could get my wand out, he'd bound me in cords with his own wand and I was helpless on the floor. He argued with Lily, telling her to move but she refused. He killed her. Then he moved his wand on to Harry and he fired the Killing Curse. It rebounded in a white light, hitting Voldemort. The house collapsed in on itself and we all fell. Hagrid knows the rest of it," I finished, trailing off at the end.

The others looked to Hagrid who nodded, picking up where I had left off. "I told Keena tha' Dumbledore'd sent me ter fetch Harry before the Death Eaters could come. There were extra wards on the house that'd tell Dumbledore if anythin' had happened. I arrived ter find the house a ruin and poor Keena an' little Harry in the middle, standing there and cryin'. Before I could convince her ter let me take Harry, Sirius Black showed up with tha' great, ol' motorcycle o' his. He argued with me tha' he an' Keena should take Harry,"

"Wait a moment, why should Sirius and Keena have taken Harry? I mean, I know you two were a couple and you were all but James' sister but I don't understand," Rosmerta interrupted.

"Why, Rosmerta, Keena is Harry's godmother," McGonagall answered. "And, you remember I assume how close James and Sirius were?"

"Those two boys, you could have mistaken them for brothers!" Rosmerta exclaimed.

"Yes, so isn't it fitting that Sirius Black be made the Potter's secret-keeper and Harry's godfather?" McGonagall answered.

There was a loud clang from the other side of a large Christmas tree and I winced inwardly. Most definitely angrier…

"No!" Rosmerta gasped. "I don't believe it! I can't see either of them betraying the other!"

"Finally, someone who agrees with me," I muttered loud enough for the rest of the table to hear.

"All the facts contradict what you say, Keena," Flitwick said, shaking his head. "Sirius was the secret-keeper,"

"No, they switched last moment, and I've told everyone this a hundred times," I replied, shaking my own head. "But I think that's the end of the story," I added.

Rosmerta checked her watch. "Oh dear, I'd best get back to work. Send Dumbledore down here sometime, I haven't seen him in so long,"

"We'll tell him, certainly," Flitwick promised with a smile.

"Well, now that we've all got ourselves caught up in our history, is it time to go yet?" I asked impatiently.

"Not quite, Ms. Macauley—er Ms. McIntosh,"

My jaw dropped and my eyes widened and I looked around as two more loud clanks came from behind the tree. God bloody damn it…he did NOT just say that…!

"I'm sorry, it's hard to keep straight at times," Flitwick apologized as the door opened once more.

"Oh, bloody hell, what is he doing here?" I hissed as Fudge entered the pub, dusting himself off. "I'm afraid I've got to go," I added before transforming into Kailey.

"We will finish this discussion later." McGonagall promised.

"Preferably in a warded classroom as opposed to a pub where the Minister could walk in at any given moment," I suggested quietly as Fudge made his way over to the table. "Thank you so much for your help, Professors," I said louder than I needed to.

"Helping the students outside of school? Very good," Fudge said. "Oh, wait, your Professor Snape's child, aren't you? Why not ask him for assistance?"

"Well, sir, I can't very well ask my own father what I should get him for Christmas," I smiled. "If you'll excuse me, I've got to go before it's time to head back to the castle," I added. "Merry Christmas,"

I rushed out of the Three Broomsticks as fast as I could and waited around the corner. Not ten minutes later, the professors and Fudge left, discussing something quietly before they rounded a corner on the street, heading towards the apparation point. Two minutes later the door opened again and Harry, Ron and Hermione all walked out, looking confused, frustrated and (mostly in Harry's case) extremely upset. I took a deep breath before coming out to stand in front of them.

They stopped and we stared at each other for about half a minute.

"I—I don't know what to say…For some reason it doesn't feel like an 'I'm sorry' is going to cut it and I feel like…horrible." I said finally, looking at the ground after stumbling over my pathetic excuse for an attempted apology.

"You're sorry?" Harry asked in disbelief. I looked up and tears began forming in my eyes immediately at the look on his face. "Who are you really? Did you just decide one day that you were going to pose as a Hogwarts student and then mess with us? Or did you go back in time somehow and let my parents die?"

It felt as though I had been stabbed seven times before having the wind knocked out of me and I looked down again. "At the end of last year, just after I woke up from being petrified, I was sent back in time," I answered, quietly. When I looked back up it was to see a fist flying into my face.

I landed on the ground in a heap and allowed my tears to spill out.

"I swear to you, Harry, I did everything I could," I cried, turning onto my back so that I could face him, ignoring the throbbing just below my right eye. "Remus, Lily and me—we all looked for a way to stop the Killing Curse, that's what she did—she was a spell inventor and I failed them! It's all my fault and I don't want or deserve your forgiveness! Just please believe me that I didn't want them to die," I begged.

Harry shook his head. "You could have saved them, I know it and you know it! Everyone was right; you are too biased when it comes to Black,"

I continued to sob. "Harry, don't say that! Please!"

"No, you're right, you did fail me! You failed my parents and their friends and I can't even stand to look at you!" he yelled before turning on his heal and storming off to Honeydukes to go back to Hogwarts.

I continued sobbing with my face in my hands. Suddenly someone touched me on my shoulder. I looked up to see a red-faced Hermione kneeling next to me, tears making tracks down her face.

"I-I didn't want them to l-leave, Hermione, I s-swear," I pleaded.

"Why didn't you just tell us sooner?" she whispered.

"Can you b-blame me? Did you s-see what just happened? One of m-my best friends j-just punched me in the face!" I defended, not that I deserved that right.

"Kailey, I don't think he meant it," Ron said, standing just behind Hermione.

I let out a shaky, sarcastic laugh. "Right, because I certainly don't deserve to get hit in the face," I sniffed, and rubbed just under my eye furiously.

"C'mon, we'd better get you to see Madame Pomfrey," Hermione said, neutrally, helping me up. "Maybe you should stay away from him for a little while," she added.

I nodded and allowed the two of them to guide me to Hogwarts and then to the Hospital Wing. The tears on my face had dried into little tracks of ice, lining my face and I felt a dull burning underneath them. Frostbite didn't seem a good enough punishment for me at the moment, so I said nothing.

"Ms. Snape! Why, what has happened to you this time?" she questioned.

"I walked into a door as it was opening," I muttered as though embarrassed by the whole thing. One thing was for sure, it was easier for me to lie now. "You guys go on ahead and find Harry, he probably needs you more than I do," I added in an undertone as Pomfrey bustled around, making up a bed for me to stay in.

The door to the wing closed and Pomfrey walked over to me and gestured to my bed. "Now, tell me what really happened. Knowing you, you would not have let a door get the better of you,"

"No, it was a door," I replied, sighing. A door of friendship being slammed shut in my face that is…

"Where is Mr. Potter, that he needs more attention at the moment then?" she questioned. Damn old bat has sharp ears...

"They found out about everything I've been hiding. He got angry and slammed a door. I was in the door's way. That's all," I answered in a defeated monotone. At least it was a semi-honest lie. "Can I just go to my dad's quarters? I don't want this fixed."

"It will be quite a painful bruise, dear," she replied kindly.

"That's the point!" I said in frustration. "It's not nearly as painful to me as is the fact that I've lied to Harry for years and that I let Lily and James go!" I was crying again and slumped down onto the bed, burying my face in my hands.

"Hush, dear, it'll be alright, come now, everything will come out fine in the end, it always does," she said in a motherly tone I had never heard her use before. The door to the wing opened and I looked up to see Remus walking in, looking concerned. "Remus, I'll let you take care of her," Pomfrey said. Remus nodded, and she closed the curtains, muttering a silencing spell as she did so.

"Harry told me what happened and what he did," Remus said quietly. "He's very upset,"

"I know," I replied.

"No, he's very upset with himself for hitting you," Remus clarified. "He doesn't know what to be the most upset about, that he got angry or that you kept all this from him,"

"He shouldn't be upset at himself," I replied. "It wasn't his fault."

"I told him that James and I knew that they were going to die too," Remus said after a moment. "That's when he realized how he shouldn't've gotten so angry with you,"

"Don't try to dig me out of this Remus," I said bitterly. "I finished digging this grave a long time ago,"

"You don't need to lose this friendship because you're angry with yourself," he argued. "I've already written a letter telling Lily and James what happened. I didn't tell Harry about them," he added, holding up a hand as I began to protest. "But they deserve to know about all the strain they're putting on you,"

"Why? Because I'm a stupid thirteen year old who deserves a reality check? Every word he said was true, Remus," I said, tears forming in my eyes again. "I've l-lied and hurt h-him and i-it wasn't r-right of me,"

"Calm down," Remus said, sitting next to me and pulling me into a one-armed hug. "You, Kailey, did not lie to him, it is more important now than ever that you keep yourself separated. You're allowing both of your…spirits? Whatever, you're letting both of them control one of your emotions right now and that is far too much strain for one person to handle. I think," he paused to think for a moment.

"What?" I asked, growing impatient.

"I think you should let your father figure out a way to separate your entities." He finished. "You are two people but you only have one body and all of this stress is taxing far too much magic from your core and it's hurting you emotionally."

"Why do you have to be smart?" I muttered, wiping my face again.

"One of us had to be," he replied. "Would you like me to take you to your father's quarters?"

"Yes, please," I answered as we both stood up.

"Kailey? Come, it is time to get up," Snape's voice was strangely comforting as he gently shook me awake. I groaned and could feel my voice cracking from all of the crying I had done the day before. It had felt as though a dam had burst and I was drowing in the flood that followed it.

"Can't I just stay here?" I muttered into my pillow.

"No, you need to get up, it's nearly past noon," he replied evenly. "Besides, your friends have been knocking on my door intermediately all day," he added, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Which ones?" I asked.

"Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger," he answered. "They both seem to be under the impression that you and Mr. Potter need to talk at some point today,"

"He doesn't want to see me," I replied dully. "I let his parents die, remember?"

"Really, Kailey, this self-pitying needs to stop now. There is nothing that anyone can do to change what has happened now. Come, get up and go to your tower so that you can get dressed."

"What about the house-elves? Why can't they just bring me my clothes?"

"Now, Kailey," Snape said, his patience waning fast.

I sighed and rolled out of bed (literally), catching myself before I hit the ground. I didn't bother looking in the mirror to see how messy I looked but headed straight for the door before continuing up to the Gryffindor dorms.

"And where were you last night, hm?" Sir Cadogan grumbled as I approached.

"Shove it," I growled. "And the password is scurvy," I added. He continued shouting accusations at me as the portrait swung open.

I stepped through the portrait and the first thing I saw was Harry, Ron and Hermione gathered on the couches. I looked away from them quickly, shutting my eyes and racing for the girls' dorm, shutting the door behind me before opening my eyes again. I took extra long getting my clothes together before finally getting ready. I looked in the mirror after brushing my teeth and did a double take. The bruise below my right eye was dark purple and the lower half of my eye was blood shot. I poked it tentatively and my eye immediately began to water.

Didn't know he could punch like that… Was all I could think.

I opened the door to the common room to find myself face-to-face with Hermione. Before I could say a word, she had grabbed me by the wrist and was dragging me down the stairs, stopping when we were standing in front of Harry.

"Hermione--" I began.

"No, you two will not stop being friends. You two have never fought before and this is a big deal. Deal with it now before it can get any worse," she said stubbornly, her arms folded and her lips as thin as McGonagall's if she caught someone pranking a first year.

"But--" Harry started.

"C'mon, Ron, let's let them discuss this on their own," Hermione said, dragging Ron out of the portrait hole with her.

We both stared in opposite directions for a time after the portrait door had slammed shut. Harry was the first one to break the silence.

"Why didn't you have Madame Pomfrey heal your eye?"

"I figured it wasn't a fitting punishment if I had it taken care of," I replied.

"I didn't mean for it to be a punishment…I didn't mean to hit you I just…lost control," he said slowly and apologetically.

"I didn't mean for them to…leave, either, I just…We were so sure we had the right spell…things just…they didn't work out," I replied, feeling more and more like a git every second. "I've been trying to figure out how to tell you about me for years…I thought it would make it easier if Keena introduced herself to you…but it only made it harder…I couldn't tell you at the end of second year…The whole Snape being my father thing freaked me out…I didn't want you to…reject me I suppose. Either of me…Keena got in too deep being your godmother and I couldn't answer a lot of questions…Remus wanted me…well, us…to tell you about Sirius before but…well, we have different views on that so…"

"As in you still insist on his innocence," Harry stated.

"Yes," I replied, looking him in the eye for the first time.

"Because of your…?"

"Keena's daughter? No, that isn't why I believe fully in his innocence. I just know it's true," I replied. "That's the other thing I was worried about, you and the others confusing me with her. I'm not Keena and Keena is not me."

"But you were in the Three Broomsticks yesterday," he argued. "How can you be two people at once?"

"It's an after effect of going back in time so far. I can be myself or I can be Keena at will, but I cannot be both at once," I answered. "Snape is looking for a way to get us separated so that it isn't as confusing."

"Why would Dumbledore or Fudge be angry at Keena, then?" Harry persisted.

"Fudge thinks she's an evil witch and Dumbledore thinks she's mental. That and Dumbledore knows that she…" I stopped and looked at Harry, almost fearfully.

"Here," he said, sitting on his hands.

"Sorry," I muttered, my face turning red.

"That isn't your fault, it's mine," he answered. "What does Dumbledore know?"

I gulped. "That she gave Sirius his wand and told him how to escape from Azkaban when she went with Fudge to check up on the prisoners," I said in a rushed whisper. "He looked so different," I continued. "So hopeless…"

"Yeah, I'm sure all murderers are good at that," he replied sarcastically and I could tell his blood was beginning to boil again.

"You know what, that's fine, you don't have to listen to me right now, at least no one can say that I lied to you about that," I shot back. "I need to go,"

"To the dorms?" he asked as I headed towards them.

"No, I need to get out of here for a bit. I'll be back at Hogwarts before nightfall," I added.

"How can I trust you?" he accused, standing up, looking as if he wanted to stop me.

"Because I never break a promise,"

"No, but you keep plenty of secrets and those are what turn into your lies," he replied, glaring at me before walking out of the common room.

Okay, I guess this was kind of a big chapter so maybe a big review? Please? Until next time (chapter 13!)

:-D