It was the end of our first week back at school and I was exhausted. Finals were coming up and the entire university was buzzing. People took to sleeping in the stacks of the library; others dozed off in the dining halls, five text books open before them with ketchup stains all over the place.

I was a mess. English always came naturally to me, but having test upon test and paper upon paper to write, I was feeling seriously overwhelmed. I spent most of my time in the library's computer lab, or in one of the many reading rooms.

Alice was eerily calm, but that was nothing new. She didn't really have much to worry about; she was naturally intelligent. Topics seeped into her like, for lack of a better metaphor, water into a sponge. Besides, she only had two or three finals to worry about. So, instead of getting migraines in the library with me, she stayed back in our room, chatting with Jasper on her cell phone.

Edward and I talked to each other as much as possible, but we were both swamped with work. Still, Edward always managed to send me a loving text or a reassuring promise to see me soon. It was hard for us to really progress in our relationship. After all, I still had a lot of trust issues and Edward seriously had more growing up to do. And then there was the issue of England.

We didn't bring it up. Period. I knew that Edward was well aware I was still going. Alice told me that he was petrified of us being apart. She said that he had devised all these crazy possible scenarios, like me falling in love with some Brit and never coming back again or getting some fabulous job and… never coming back again. If he only knew how pathetically attached I was to him…. It was a problem, however, and Alice warned me we needed to talk about it if we wanted to preserve our relationship. It was really difficult for us, though; not only were we new at this, but we were notorious procrastinators. There was also the fact that it was going to be unbearable for the both of us to be apart. I was worried, though I wouldn't admit it to anyone but myself, that Edward would find someone when I was gone. I thought about pulling myself out from the internship at least a thousand times but my common sense stopped me, and for that I was grateful. As much as I loved him, I couldn't give this amazing opportunity up. Not in a million years. I owed this to myself.

As I trudged up the stairs that Friday afternoon, I literally thought I could fall asleep right there, but then my cell vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and grinned, thoroughly rejuvenated.

Can you possibly be missing me as much as I'm missing you right now? Love, E.

I rolled my eyes at his cheesiness but grinned even wider. I knew it was still hard for him to be so open with his affections, and the thought that he was able to begin to open up for me was astounding.

Slowly, I pushed open my dorm door and felt around for the light switch.

I nearly gasped at the sight before me.

Edward was lazily draped across my bed, his lips spreading into a small smile. His eyes twinkled with wickedness and love and I could tell he was happy to see me by the way his entire face lit up.

"Surprise," he murmured huskily.

I was speechless. I leaned against the door for support, afraid I would pass out from the shock and joy coursing through my veins.

After a few minutes of gawking at him, I finally managed to stammer out a sentence. "W-what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't bear to not see you this weekend."

I stared at him incredulously. "You drove over four hours to see me."

He nodded and grinned. Then he popped up and was over to me before I could gasp. His strong arms wrapped around me and I shivered at the sensation of his breath blowing out across my ear in a relieved sigh. I could feel his left eyelashes on my temple and relished the feeling of such seemingly insignificant intimacy. His hands slowly rubbed my back in circles as he held me, saying nothing but communicating so much. Finally he pulled away just enough to meet my eyes.

"I couldn't go another minute without touching you," Edward said, staring at my lips.

"I'm… surprised," I finally said.

He chuckled and led me to the bed. He gracefully laid out the same way as before and propped his head up on his hand. "You look beautiful, as always. Have you had a stressful week? Alice mentioned that you've been working hard."

I groaned and nodded pathetically.

"I imagine you have a lot of studying to do this weekend, am I right?"

Somehow in my excitement to see him, I had forgotten about that. I bit my lip remorsefully. "Yeah. Edward, I'm sor-"

He cut me off with a quick peck on the lips. I noticed that he looked regretful as he pulled back, still wistfully staring at my lips. "Don't worry. I came just to be close to you. I promise not to distract you. I have my own studying to do, too."

I rubbed his leg, feeling a little more in love with him. "I love you."

He exhaled and placed his hand on my cheek, saying nothing. His eyes told me all I needed to know. We stared at one another for what seemed like hours, content with an occasional stroke on the arm or thigh or the sporadic tender kiss on the mouth or forehead.

Edward eventually cleared his throat and looked down at the comforter. "When's your last day of the semester?"

"The eighteenth, I think," I mumbled distractedly. I was too preoccupied with his swollen lips.

I moved to kiss him again but he stopped me with his hands. "We need to talk."

The dreaded words. The chicken sandwich I had gobbled down a few hours earlier churned unpleasantly in my stomach.

I nodded hesitantly, not really wanting to agree but knowing I had to.

"When do you leave for England?"

I let out a deep breath and met his desperate gaze. "A few days after New Year's. I'll only be gone for a few weeks."

He nodded and smiled sadly. "It will still feel like an eternity. This week alone felt like hell."

I felt guilty and lowered my eyes. Of all the times for Edward and I to get together, why did it have to be now? We really only had two weeks to spend together, at the most.

"Don't get me wrong- I am very happy for you. I'm just going to miss you so much."

Tears filled my eyes and I made an annoyed sound. "I'm sorry for getting emotional. It's just I'm going to miss you, more than I can say."

With a smile, Edward moved to kiss me, more passionately than he had before. He was controlling himself. He probably didn't want to jump me; I guess he knew, as I did, that it probably wouldn't be the best thing for us right now to have sex again.

We made out for ten minutes, wanting more the entire time but reveling in just the feeling of each other's presence. Finally, Edward pulled back with an intense and determined look in his eyes that quickly faded into something else.

I watched, fascinated, as Edward took on a somewhat nervous expression. That confused me… what the hell did he have to be anxious about? He played with my fingers for a few minutes and then became irrationally interested in an unraveling thread in my comforter.

"Edward? What's wrong?"

Slowly his eyes lifted to meet mine. He looked even more frightened and yet I could see a tinge of excitement lighting up his eyes.

"Bella… this is just a harmless, hypothetical suggestion. I don't want you to feel pressured in any way, okay?"

I nodded, wary of where this was going.

"Well, you know how Carlisle has a flat over there?"

Shaking my head, I resisted rolling my eyes. I didn't know but I wasn't surprised. He would have an apartment in London.

"I was thinking maybe you could stay there, rather than go along with whatever shady arrangements they've given you."

I giggled, touched but amused. "Edward, they're not 'shady' accommodations."

"I'd feel better if you stayed at our place."

Frustration was starting to creep in now. "Really, I'll be fine."

He stroked my hand and inched in a little closer to me. "Please, Bella? Just think about it, okay?"

Though his intense eyes usually swayed me instantly, they were ineffectual this time. Despite my regrets over the timing, I was thrilled to be going over to London for a taste of the real world. I didn't want to stay in luxurious conditions, coddled and unnecessarily pampered. I needed this, not only for my career, but for me too. As whiny and bratty and somewhat selfish and dramatic as it sounds, I rarely ever did things for me. And Edward was seriously ruining it for me.

"I have thought about it. Thanks for the offer, really, but I'm going to be more than okay."

Edward's jaw clenched and I could tell he was trying his very hardest not to lose his cool. From the way his eyes flashed dangerously at me, I could tell he was losing it anyway.

"Be reasonable. This isn't that ridiculous of a request."

"I am being reasonable," I groaned. "You said that that I didn't have to feel pressured."

Suddenly, Edward looked like a nervous little boy again who'd wet the bed. He had something else to propose and I could tell already I wasn't going to like it. I was less than pleased at his first suggestion, so I was fairly certain that this one was going to make me livid.

"Well, I thought maybe I could come with you," he said softly. He looked so hopeful, so excited.

Oh, my God. Edward Cullen wanted to go to England with me and stay in his family's apartment, where we would likely have passionate sex for the first time since our disastrous Thanksgiving weekend.

And I felt physically sick over it.

As much as I loved him and as much as my heart danced at the implications, I wanted to do this alone. I had dreams of me, shopping and sight-seeing and sitting in quaint cafes with my writing notebook out. These visions never included Edward with me, and though I felt guilty at feeling so negative about the whole thing, I couldn't help but feel a little resentful, too.

Edward and I had something special. There was no question of this. But, we weren't really a thing yet. We both had hopes we would be, but this was still the new, beginning part of the relationship. Edward and I knew each other well, no doubt; it wasn't like we were completely foreign to one another. But we were in this one respect, and that was the most important. This was too much, too soon, and I felt like I was suffocating. Not to mention that I had to be on my game during this trip; I couldn't be distracted in any capacity.

Edward's expression, however, broke my heart. He looked so heartbroken, so lost, so sad because he could see my emotions all over my face. I couldn't see Edward like this.

I found myself muttering a weak "okay," before Edward pounced on me, showering kisses all over my face and down my throat.

"Thank you, Bella, this is going to be amazing. I promise."

It was strange to me but somehow, for the first time when faced with time with Edward, I doubted that.

I always thought it would have been very hard on Bella to balance college and Edward. He doesn't mean to distract her. He just doesn't want to be apart from her, so he's not thinking all that clearly. I don't want him to come off needy. Plus, he wants to keep an eye on her and be the overprotective caveman we all know and love (begrudingly).

Happy holidays, everyone!