Revised
Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! To my new favorites and followers, welcome to my Fan-band wagon! You guys are awesome! Anyways, I am adding a new element to this story. I've been thinking on it and had different routes but I decided to go with this one. I might be breaking a lot of the rules for Middle Earth, so I am asking you to keep an opened mind. Anyways enjoy!
Roxygirl: Trust me when I say this, it was difficult to write Glorfindel breaking Amelia's heart, than you reading it. I seriously considered him to Amelia's lover but after some research, I thought it would be best to leave that alone. Glorfindel will make a better friend than lover to Amelia. Thanks for the review. Here's a tissue, its soft and fluffy!
LinwelR: Things will be fine! Just continue reading and you'll see!
ellenfp: I know right, I tried to stay away from the whole 'it me not you' kind of theme. It seems like I was successful! Yippy for me!
faye50free: Thank you, your criticism is always welcome. Its been a while since I've written anything. I guess it true what they say, stop sharpening you skills and loose it. Also... it's like riding a bike, it will all come back to you. There are many more but I think you get the gist! Anyways Thanks!
(Pronounced: Nah-lana)
Chapter Nine
Nalana
"Why have you not attended to your archery?" I heard from behind and I solemnly closed my eyes tightly and willed him to leave. Honestly, I could not simply go anymore. It wasn't just for being embarrassed, it was more than that. It was the fact that I was hurt. It was selfish of me, I knew this. Glorfindel was kind and even offered me comfort but it was different now. He knew my feelings and yet he did not return them. Even worse, I wanted to feel more. I have closed myself off for so long that I simply could not go back to the way it was before.
I bit my lower lip and kept my face averted from him. Glorfindel sought me after I missed my archery for the third time. I did expect him to report to Lord Elrond but no word came from him. Lord Elrond would not be please with me if he knew. To be honest, I enjoyed it when I saw that proud look on his face. I sought for it. For once, someone actually appreciated my hard work.
I heard a heavy sigh followed by footsteps. My fingers clenched the balcony rail with such force until my knuckles grew white. I felt a burned sensation on my cheeks due to my blush. Then I sensed him next to me and at the corner my eye I hesitantly glanced at him. He leaned his forearms on the rail and looked out to the view before him.
"Amelia…" He uttered gently, broke the silence between us.
I didn't answer for I was tongue-tied. My throated tightened as tears threatened to escape from my eyes. Swiftly, I moved my eyes away from his. I did not want him to see me cry. Finally I spoke up with as much honesty as I could mustered, "I… I'm sorry. I simply couldn't come today or the day before…"
"Or the day before that." He finished as I heard him shift positions. A gentle hand rested on my shoulder and he turned me to face him. However I averted my eyes away and I felt his eyes on me, "Is this how you wish it to be?"
"No…" I immediately said, almost shouted as I looked up at him. I opened my mouth to say more but my words got stuck in my throat. The tears in the corner of my eyes threatened to fall but I willed them not to. Why was this so difficult? Hesitantly, I looked up at his concerned blue eyes but swiftly looked away again, "I'm… embarrassed."
Glorfindel remained quiet for a moment as I saw from the corner of my eye that he nodded. To my surprise, he removed his hand from my shoulder and placed them not top of my clasped hands. He parted my hands from each other and held them individually. Finally, he looked up at me with sudden sincerity that almost broke my heart. He said in a soft and truthful voice, "I am flattered and honor to even hold a small part of your heart..."
"But that doesn't change anything." I finished flatly. Why must he be so sweet? Couldn't he be... arrogant or mean rather than melt me with his kindness. He made this difficult. It would be easier if he was angry or if I was mad but I couldn't. I didn't have the heart.
He looked remorseful, "Can we not join together in friendship?"
I thought hard on his request. It wounded me to hear his soft plead. Only then did it truly hit me, that he did care. Maybe not in the same way but none of the less, he valued me. He valued me enough to sought me out and rekindle this friendship. A gentle smile came to my lips as he touched my heart in a way that no one ever had. He melted me despite my efforts. Pride suddenly swelled in my chest for I just realized what a friend I had in him. In his eyes, I knew he would come to me if I were ever in a bind.
"Yes, I very much like to be your friend." I whispered honestly, my smile never faltered. If anything, it grew.
Glorfindel smiled that reached to his eyes. Life suddenly came back to him as he sighed with relief. "Good let us continue our lesson."
Later in the evening after supper, Aragorn took me back to the courtyard for additional training. Vaguely I remembered Lord Elrond mentioned that I need to learn a secondary weapon. Aragorn would make sure I knew how to duel. It was uncommon for female elves to get involved in combat in Rivendell but they all knew the art. 'One can never be too careful.' Glorfindel favorite saying. In the past I've sought out Arwen who confirmed that she indeed knew how to wield a sword. Although she never truly sought out a fight but if one came to her, she'll shed her feminine ways and become a warrior.
I could not hid my dismay when I went with Aragorn to the courtyard. There was no true desire to learn another weapon for I was quite comfortable with my bow. In fact, I was so impressed with my improvement that I rewarded myself by munching on sweet elvish pastry. Which by the way, if I did not stop, I'll grow a muffin top.
We entered to the courtyard where Aragorn already had weapons waited. He indeed planned this. I cringed to the sight of the swords and groaned loudly followed by a complaint, "Why must I learn a new weapon?"
I was equipped with my bow and held it close to me. As if it were a child and I'm its mother. Weariness over came me from a long day of studying and archery. He wasted no time to try to pry my bow from my arms but I wouldn't budge. "Aragorn, I am comfortable with my bow. Is that not enough?" I argued further.
Aragorn frowned and I didn't like the look he had in his eyes. When he moved away, I relaxed. "I'm mean, I am getting better…" I continued to talk out loud as I viewed my bow with admired eyes. I remained oblivious to Aragorn's movement and suddenly sound of a sword rang in my ears. Before I could react, Aragorn swung his sword and nocked my bow out of my hands. A soft thud came to my ears as my eyes followed the fallen bow. Frightened by his actions, Aragorn did not hesitant to point the tip of the sword at the base of my throat.
Swiftly, my eyes found his and there was no glint in them. He was serious, dead serious. When I swallowed hard, Aragorn spoke up with a low voice, "What now?"
No words came to me. My silence must of answered his question for he lowered his sword but that seriousness never left his eyes. I breathed with relief and for a moment, I actually thought Aragorn would indeed take his point ever further. Before I can give him a piece of my mind, Aragorn swiftly grabbed a large sword and held out the hilt toward me.
"You may be comfortable with a bow but what will you do when you run out of arrows or your bow string breaks? The enemy will not wait for you?" The harshness left his voice but none of the less he was serious.
He had a point. My anger faded as I hesitantly took the sword from his grasp. it was heavy and felt strange in my hands. Nervously, I grabbed the hilt and pulled out the sword from the cover. It rang in my ears as I stared at the detail. It was beautifully crafted but I was not comfortable. Unlike the bow, I could not injure myself unless I aimed for my foot but with the sword... one wrong move and there went my arm.
How would I ever get use to this? I held the sword by its hilt rather awkwardly. Aragorn had no problem just with one hand and I could barely use two. After a long period, I managed to lift it with one hand and I trembled to the weight.
"Let's begin…."
Aragorn had gone easy on me over the last hour or so. There was no doubt in Aragorn's ability or strength. As gentle he was, I was unable to get use to the sword. It was much too heavy. After the first clash, I was forced to use two hands. True I had gotten stronger over these past very months but not strong enough to wield it. He pushed me to hold it with one hand.
"Amelia, move you feet." He commanded, his voice full of authority as his eyes criticized my posture.
After that, I exasperated angrily and threw down my sword. It was childish but I did in fact warn him! I tried it and it simply was not work. My wrist ached and my arms were weary. Aragorn was surprised and looked at me questioningly. With a angry sigh, I said a bit harshly, "This is not going to work, Aragorn!"
He frown but remained calm. "It takes time..."
"No." I cut in swiftly. My indolence kicked in, "This is not going to work. I am not you! I am not meant for swords. If you want me to learn a new weapon at least give me something that I can actually use!"
His frown grew more on his face. I hated to disappoint him but none of the less, I refuse to give in. He sighed heavily and I noticed the small shake of his head. Aragorn mumbled something in elvish that I did not understood which made me frown. It made me suddenly regret my harsh words but it seemed to get through to him. Without a word, he swiftly snatch two small daggers, "Here."
I put away the sword and eagerly went for the daggers. There was heavy but nothing like the sword. It was well balanced in my hand and fit perfectly for me. If I was too become a sideline warrior, then we'll do it by my rules. With a victorious smile, I said, "Better."
Three months past swiftly. My studies only got intense. Day to night, I kept my eyes on the goal. Lord Elrond reduced my archery, much to my disappointment. Lord Elrond insisted that I study more than train. Instead of a daily training, it would be twice a week training. Outside of that, I placed my nose in the books. If I truly wanted to increase my knowledge in medicine I must learn their language. Despite my disappointment in the change of routine, I could not say no to him. I looked up to Lord Elrond like an innocent child would to a guardian or father. The twins, more like Elladan, was more than hopeful. They would have small conversations with me in elvish. When we sat at the dinner table, I was not allowed to speak in the common language. When I misspoke words, they would hid their smiles behind their hands. Which by the way, only made me want to dunk their heads in their wine cups. Arwen stopped to talk in the common tongue and encouraged elvish. Elladan took my studies even further, he grabbed my worse enemy. The first Age volumes, but in the elvish language.
"No, you must pronounce your vows." Elladan urged gently to me as I read the book out loud to him. We were almost finished with the fifth volume, but Elladan had been impossible with the reading. It took me a whole three months just to get through those wrenched books. I enjoyed history and it was very interesting but the reading was extremely lengthy and critical reading.
We sat on a bench in the garden. The Keeper of the Library did not appreciate my horrid-excuse of reading. Luckily, Elladan was patient with me but none of the less, he did not let me slide. He was absolutely insufferable much like Lord Elrond. As time went on, Elladan pushed me to pronounce my words clearly or they will mean something totally different.
"I'm trying!" I complained as I looked up from the book. Weariness grew in my eyes from long months of hard training and studying. Lord Elrond was right about how difficult it would be. Now it finally caught up with me. I rubbed my eyes and suppressed a yawn.
Elladan sighed and suddenly, to my surprise, he took the book from my hands and closed it. I flinched in surprise and I stared at him with questioning in my eyes. Before I could ask, he immediately spoke up, "You are too exhausted."
"I am fine, Elladan." I protested like a child as I kept my chin up defiantly. I tried to snatch back the book but Elladan was too swift. He stood up from the bench and kept the book from me, "Come on, Elladan. Let us continue. I must learn your language."
"In time you will. You can not heave all on your weary shoulders." He resorted and crossed his arms. I frowned and I knew I wasn't getting to convince him to give back the book or take it from him. Elladan was too stubborn and fast for his own good. I pursed my lips and slouched my shoulders in defeat that only forced Elladan to smirk in victory, "Why not rest for the night. Tomorrow I will over flow you will work."
I laughed tiredly as my eyes slowly started to droop more and more. It wasn't until now when I realized how exhausted I was. My vision started to darken as my head spinned in circles. Slowly, I felt myself drifted into sleep. Even though I knew I sat on a bench I felt myself fell over and I could not wake up from weariness. Thankfully, I felt Elladan caught me before I came in contact with the moist ground. He lifted me up as if I were a small child. Elladan did not struggle with my weight as I felt him carry me away. My head leaned against his shoulder and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Slowly the darkness came over me and I was no longer aware of my surroundings….
I opened my eyes and I found myself in deep fog. I frowned and sighed. It had been awhile since I came to my very own dreamland. More like several months... Slowly I made my way through the heavily fog as I search for a clearing. My heart hoped I would find the stranger again. The fog suddenly lifted to reveal a small clearing. However, I expected to find the forest instead but I wasn't in the forest. Confusion filled me for I recognized my surrounding. I knew these walls; I've walked this floor and slept in that bed. It became clear to me. I was in my room back in Sacramento. The window to my right displayed darkness and my door was closed. The room was dim and almost depressing.
Why was I here? I did not know. I just came to terms with my new life and now, it was someone's cruel joke to being me here. A sudden desire to seek out my mother filled me and when I turned and suddenly stopped in my tracks. I stood in front of two mirrors that was not there moments ago. It was full length and side by side. To my surprise the right mirror, displayed my reflection as a human. Whereas, the left mirror shown me as an elf.
My eyes jumped back to the right mirror as my hand stroked my hair. I knew very well, that my hair was ebony but the hair reflected my auburn hair. My once hazel eyes stared back with same confusion. Then my eyes jumped to the left mirror where I met with blue eyes. I could never rid the need to see myself again, the human I once was.
I dropped my eyes and desired to leave. Why wish for something that will never happen. To my surprise, I felt hands move down on my arms. The movement was comforting me and I knew who it was. The stranger returned and like always, I was not allowed to see him with my very eyes. I furrowed in confusion when my eyes dropped to my arms and I saw those soft hands but the mirror did not reflect the stranger. His lips drawn near my sensitive pointed ears, and whispered, "I warned you not to come. The truth is never easy."
I furrowed in confusion. The truth? Easy or not, I wanted to know. Suddenly, when I turned in hopes to see the stranger, he was gone. There were no traces of him. Instead, to my greatest surprise, the she-elf stood in front of me. The body my spirit took host of. Her blue eyes stared into mine. Confusion filled me as I tried to speak but couldn't. I looked over to find the mirrors but they were gone too. I was no longer in the house. My surrounding changed instantly without my realization. Now I stood by the pond where I crawled out of, under the high full moon.
When I turned back, she stood literally in front of me which frightened me by her closeness. There was a lingering sadness in her eyes. I knew that look all too well. She was in a the blue dress and white as death. Gently, she placed her hand onto my cheek. Even though her hand was cold, it slowly radiated warmth. My once distressed sensation dissolved into calmness. When we came in contact, I saw it.
Visions of her life. A dream within a dream... She wanted to show me...
She was born and raised in a distance land… across from the sea. The ones that called themselves the Valar sent her to Middle Earth for a purpose in secret. It was to aid the free people of Middle Earth against Sauron. Her name was Nalana, an elf that possessed magic of healing and foresight without the need of a ring. Only a selected few knew of her arrival. The land grew darker with evil and orcs roamed and destroyed everything in their wake.
On a summer's eve with an eclipse in the night sky, Nalana's escorts traveled swiftly. The fleet of elves were attacked by a raid of orcs. Blood was shed. Nalana knew then, she would die by their hands. As her companions sought to protect with their lives, Nalana uttered a silent spell. Only Eru would grant it. Her task must be finished but to her greatest dismay, not by her. The task fell upon another to prevent darkness from dominated these land... Because she was robbed of her life, she was granted to pass her task. A spirit from another realm was Eru's choice. And so, it came to past that Nalana was too murdered and was forsaken into the deep depths of the pond. She would accept her place in the Halls of Mandos. Her request was postpones for many centuries when the ring of power slowly woke up. Eru chose me to finish her task...
My mind was pulled out the vision and I blinked. Nalana was no where to be found. It was her, the one pulled me out of the darkness when I died. My eyes searched for her but I was alone in a heavy fog. Sadness grew in me. She died and I lived in her body. Eru linked us through time and space by powers I did not understand. Suddenly a gust of fog thrusted by...
My eyes opened widely as I shot up from my bed. All my covers fall from me as my chest rose and fell rapidly. I blinked quickly, still confused by the dream. When I finally realized I rested on the bed in the Rivendell, I breathed heavily. My mind turned in circles as I thought about this dream. This was different... very different. It was as if I felt everything Nalana felt. Her fear of death and hopes... but wait... this dream could't be real. How could it be? If Nalana or... Eru truly wanted me to do her task, then they got another thing coming. There was no way I could complete this task. What was the task! I did not understand. Why must everything be so difficult!
With a sigh, I throw off my blankets with aggressive movement. I understood that I should be grateful for another chance to live but if my purpose was to fight... some ring... or evil... or those.. black and disgusting things... then... find someone else! This was definitely someone cruel joke and it got to stop! I pulled out my feet from the bed and stood up. I mean... I just came to terms with this new life and now I got to pay a price! I didn't remember signing up for it!
I sighed to calm myself. Just remember, it was just a dream...
It was fricken realistic dream.. I looked down at my attire which was my nightwear. Briefly I remembered studying with Elladan then I past out. He must have Arwen dress me for sleep. I rubbed my eyes wearily. Never before now did I question to why I dreamt of others. First it was the stranger and now Nalana. Were these dreams designed to drive me mad? Just hand me a straight jacket!
Frustration crawled into my chest again, I slid on my robe and I left my room. The sky was darken with many stars in the sky. It must be midnight or close to it. I haven't quite yet figured out time without a clock. Without a second thought, I went to the library. There must be something written about these crazy dreams. I should not be the first one to endure this... punishment! I cared not to be quiet for I was too fumed to care much.
As I expected, the library was empty. Immediately, I lit a candle and started to search through row by row for anything related. Luckily, I understood a good portion of elvish... well somewhat. I would think if there was something about my dilemma it would be elvish. My fingers passed by each book and I left not one book untitled. No..No..No.. I don't want more history... ..Wait what? Where babies come from... really? They actually have a book about that!
"The hour is late for studying." I jumped unexpectedly to the voice and I swiftly turned in alarm. Lord Elrond stood in the threshold with his hands clasped before him. An eyebrow rose in curiosity as his eyes narrowed. How long was he there?
I relaxed slightly and sighed. After his long years, Lord Elrond was certainly the quietest elf I ever met and that number was too few. Honestly I thought he would be in his chambers unless I made too much noise on my way here. Most likely I did. I was not as quiet and swift as others were. Nor was I as intuitive.
Lord Elrond tilted his head to the side, the curiosity never left his expression. He walked further into the library and gesture his hand toward a small couch. My eye followed to the sidewall where there was a couch with a moonlight casted down from the high window. With a sigh, I looked down at the book in my hand which was the 'where babies come from.' A blush grew on my cheeks as I swiftly put it away before he noticed. Lord Elrond sat on the couch and waited patiently for me to join. I placed the candle on the table and sat next to him.
"What troubled you, young one?" He spoke gently.
I dropped my eyes and nonchalantly leaned back into the couch. It was exactly ladylike, but at the moment I did not care. My finger fidgeted as I comtemplated on how to phrase what I wanted to say. My word were jumbled. If it were months ago, I would have lied my way out but I grew to trust Lord Elrond. With a deep sigh, I told him all. About the dreams that came to me randomly between weeks and months. I explained about the fog, forest and my old room. I felt my cheeks blush when I told her about the stranger. It was awkward to explain about the mysterious man that swooned me. Well... I left that last part out. The last thing Lord Elrond should know was I harbored affection for my mysterious elf. Weird right? I preferred not to allow Lord Elrond know about that small little detail. Finally I reached to the Nalana and her life.
Lord Elrond was in deep thought as his eyebrows furrowed deeply. Either he was disturbed or confused. I couldn't tell yet. However I knew he wasn't to pleased that I didn't come to him before. There was a silence between us. Anxiety filled me as I waited for his response. Suddenly, he stood from the couch and walked several feet away. Swiftly he turned to me as he inquired, "This brought you here to tonight? To research about dreams? And when did the dream occur, Amelia?"
I heard the settle disapproval in his tone. It was on my part. Shamefully, I looked away and pursed my lips together. Truth was the only way out. I replied in a soft voice, barely moved my lips, "For... several months."
"Why have you not come to me before?" Lord Elrond inquired his voice tightened with disappointment. Authority grew in his tone as he intended to interrogate.
"I.." I began with hesitation but I lost my words. It was undoubtably difficult under those scrutiny eyes which was brought on by my own mistake. When I found the courage to look up, I immediately regretted it. Disappointed was written all over his face. I answered bashfully, "I didn't think much on it until now."
He moved away as he thought hard on my dilemma. It was as if I could hear his mind turning. I bite my lips in nervousness. There was no way I could explain it but my memories of my father came to me. When he was angry bad things happened. I feared it deeply and I waited for the storm to come. My eyes were downcast for I did not have the strength to look up. Before I would look up at my father defiantly and try to show no fear but for the respect I had for Lord Elrond, I kept my eyes down. I imagined the pain my father caused me... but Lord Elrond wasn't anything like him... he wouldn't...
Suddenly, Lord Elrond appeared in front of me and to my surprise, any anger was washed from his face. He sat next to me as his eyes gentled. I have in the past told him of my father. Gingerly, his hand came to me cheek and wiped away a tear that I did not notice. It was no secret that I was quite a burden that came with many problems. Unfortunately I fell into his lap and now I was his burden. I sought to not be a burden but everything about me defied it all. I thought if I made myself useful. If I studied and trained hard enough, I could change that. For moment, I thought I was until I came clean about my dreams. Now I am back to step one.
"Do not fear." He uttered into the silence that grew between us. I knew what he meant. Of course he was nothing like my father. Lord Elrond was a better being than him. To my dismay, I could not hold back the sorrow that filled me. I caught him off guard when I suddenly leaned into him and rested my head on his shoulder. He hesitantly, wrapped his arm around my shoulder. What a mess I was. Technically I could blame it on my teenager hormones. I knew this body was older than that, but I was a teenager at heart. Only sixteen almost seventeen. So I had my emotional moments. None of the less, Lord Elrond recovered from his surprise and held me as if I was Arwen. How I wished I could be his daughter rather than a daughter of an abuser. However, this would be enough.
Lord Elrond continued, "Its not uncommon for elves to dream. However, I cannot say how you can communicate with the dead through your dreams. I find you to be a complex elf, Amelia."
I listened intently as I dug my face deeper into his shoulder. I hoped he meant that late sentence to be a compliment. "Good or bad complex?"
My voice was muffled but Lord Elrond understood and answered, "That depends on you." He stated flatly and as always in an enigma way. "Your complexity does not concern me, it is Nalana, for I heard of her."
Hesitantly, I rose from his shoulder and looked at him with my weary ones. I was confused by his statement, "How?"
Lord Elrond furrowed in deep concentration. His eyes stared non-observantly at the high moon from behind. "From a messenger... she was to come but never arrived." He stated more to himself than me. "Strange indeed. Eru brought you here in her stead...In my heart I believe it to be true."
Worry grew on his face which only made me worry. I spoke up hesitantly, "What are you trying to say?"
His eyes found mine, and I saw uncertainty. "Her task fell on to you. You nor I know what it is yet. Her mind endures with you. She can communicate through your dreams." Lord Elrond concluded, not completely convinced. He looked away in deep thought. His clasped his hands on his lap. No doubt this new situation had him troubled. Suddenly he turned to me with determination, "I will send you Galadriel."
To be continued..
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Next chapter, onward to Lothlorien!