DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CSI:NY OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. I DO HOWEVER OWN SAMANTHA FLACK AND ALL OF THE FLACK CHILDREN AND THOSE THAT BELONG TO OTHER CHARACTERS.
Wives and kids
"She's a Saturday out on the town
And a church girl on Sunday
She's a cross around her neck
And a cuss word 'cause its Monday
She's a bubble bath and candles
Baby come and kiss me
She's a one glass of wine
And she's feeling kinda tipsy
She's the giver I wish I could be
And the stealer of the covers
She's a picture in my wallet and my unborn children's mother
She's the hand that I'm holding
When I'm on my knees and praying
She's the answer to my prayer
And she's the song that I'm playing
She's the voice I love to hear
Someday when I'm ninety
She's that wooden rocking chair
I want rocking right beside me
Everyday that passes, I only love her more
Yeah, she's the one
That I'd lay down my own life for."
-She's Everything, Brad Paisely
A/N: I have decided to take VFB in a different direction. Instead of doing most of the chaps in the past ie: Kieran and the children when they are babies and youngsters, I am going to focus mostly on the present with them and Sam and Flack older with some past chaps tossed in every so often. Thanks to hope4sall for encouraging me to give it a try!
Tim Speedle sat behind the wheel of his gun metal grey Chevy Blazer and drummed his fingers impatiently on the his thighs. Eyes riveted on the front door of his modest three bedroom townhouse as he waited, for the last fifteen minutes, for the three women in his life to finally emerge.
Living in a household of women was an adventure. It was non stop bickering and PMS. If it wasn't Carmen than it was Addison. If it wasn't Addison it was Sophia. There was never a week out of the month that someone wasn't craving chocolate, complaining about cramps and acne break outs and bloating or just walking around the place bitching and moaning and biting everyone's head off. At least Carmen was starting to mention that she thought she was going through menopause. She was waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat and suffering dizzy spells and saying she was cold one moment and than hot the next. He hadn't yet figured out which was worse to suffer through. A menopausing wife or PMSing daughters.
As Speed sat there, he thought about how far he had come with his life since that night nearly sixteen years ago when Flack took the proverbial bull by the horns and single-handedly transformed Speed's dull, predictable life. Speed had gone from a lonely and bitter man to someone with a heart. Someone who loved completely and unconditionally and unselfishly. A husband and a father. The head of the New York City Crime Lab who owned a decent home and drove an SUV as opposed to a Ducati motorcycle.
He checked the clock on the dashboard. Twenty-five after six and they still had to make the drive into mid-town. He laid on the horn. Going anywhere with three women required a lot of patience. And required you to get into the shower first before they used up all the hot water. Because once Addie and Sophia got in the washroom and started fussing with their hair and makeup, there was no telling when they were going to come out. It took them forever to pick up a simple outfit and they had changed four times in the past hour alone because they weren't satisfied about how they looked. And forget about going shopping with them. Two hours waiting while they tried on clothes and bickered with each other about their choice of clothing was enough to drive anyone insane.
Thank God for Catholic school uniforms. A couple hundred bucks a child saw you through a school year and depending on how much they grew and how rough they were on the clothes, some of the pieces could last two years. Although, the way Addie had been lately, getting caught making out with Kieran Flack in a back hallway (and at Kieran's house) and rolling her skirt up to the point it barely covered her ass, Speed was seriously considered boarding school. In a different state. Hell, on the other coast was preferable.
She was too young to have a boyfriend. When she'd come home from school one day seven months and announced that after only her first day of school she had met a great guy and he was her boyfriend, Speed had nearly had a heart attack. Carmen had told him to just take it easy. That most first loves didn't last and it was probably just a passing thing. Let the girl go out on a couple dates to the movies and out to eat and see how she felt about this boy in a month. Speed said fine, but I want to meet this guy first. Imagine his surprise when said boy knocked on the door for a dinner with his girlfriend's folks and when Speed answered, there stood Kieran Flack. His wife's godson. A nephew to Speed. All the kids had been growing up together for years.
Addie admitted that she and Kieran had been 'close' for almost two years. Nothing sexual outside of kissing. Although Speed highly doubted that. It wasn't so much that his daughter had a boyfriend that bothered him. It was who the boyfriend was. More importantly, whose genetic material the boyfriend shared. Speed could not handle the fact that his baby girl was in love with Flack's son.
It was nothing personal against Flack or Sam as parents. They were great parents that kept their kids in check. They had set house rules that were more than fair and were quick to hand out punishments in way of groundings and privileges taken away if one of their kids fouled up. And any couple that could balance their hectic careers, each other and six kids deserved some kind of award for just managing to maintain their sanity. Flack was one of Speed's closest, truest friends. He was among a rare, small group of people Speed let get close to him. Flack had matured drastically since becoming a husband and a father almost sixteen years ago. He was strong and solid and dependable. But he was also somewhat of a risk taker. It was what Flack had been like before taking on a wife and starting a family that worried Speed. Most importantly, his track record with women and how he treated them. Kieran was just like his father. And he was only fifteen. Not old enough to care about settling down. Speed worried that this kid was going to hurt his daughter. And pressure her into having sex. His ideal guy for his daughter was the quiet, shy bookworm type. Someone too nerdy to push Addie into anything. Instead she got herself mixed up with a handsome, charming and confident jock.
Sexy. That's what Addie called Kieran. Speed had heard her on the phone the other night with Mac's daughter Tiana. He hadn't caught a lot of the conversation, but he had heard his daughter refer to her boyfriend as sexy because of the apparent muscles he had. Most specifically his six pack. Kieran was a big boy just like his father and spent what spare time he had working out and playing hockey and football.
The front door banged open and the girls came hurrying out. Addie with her long, wavy auburn hair tumbling to the middle of her back and wearing a simply navy blue and white sundress with slender straps that crisscrossed near the nape of her neck just reached her knees. A lovely dress that she was now covering with a heavy high school hockey jacket.
Speed sighed at the sight. The moment that Kieran Flack had coughed up that jacket three months ago, Addie never took it off it seemed. And she also had one of his game jerseys that she wore as pyjamas every night. She would even do a whole load of wash just to make sure the jersey was clean. She was a smart girl. She consistently brought home good grades and hung around with the right crowds. But she was much happier at this point in time to be a pretty face. And that she was with her vibrant green eyes and porcelain skin and slim figure. A spitting image of her mother.
Than there was Sophia. She was of shorter stature and smaller build and took after her father. Dark eyes, thick, almost unruly dark hair that came to just below her shoulders and smooth, pale, flawless skin. She was pretty little thing and devastatingly smart. Her father's daughter through and through. At only twelve, Sophia was already in grade ten at the same school her older sister was also a student at. Addie had been mortified at the thought of walking the same halls as her little sister and having to hang out with her. And even more horrified when Sophia had been placed in an enriched, gifted program. It was tough accepting your awkward little sister was smarter than you were.
"What took you guys so long?" Speed asked, as his youngest slipped into the backseat.
Her unruly hair tied back and the loose pieces tucked away and held with bobby pins. A soft white shawl over her slender shoulders and covering the top half of a pale yellow sundress.
"Sorry, daddy," she said, leaning forward to peck his cheek before settling into her seat and doing up her belt. "Addie had issues."
He frowned. "What kind of issues?"
"Girl issues," Sophia replied. "'Cause mom bought her a new bra and Addie doesn't like the way it looks. Says it flattens out her boobs. And she doesn't want them flattened out 'cause Kieran likes her boobs."
Jesus Christ, Speed thought as he looked back at the house and shook his head in dismay. He briefly wondered if Kieran Flack had seen what was under the bra or hadn't gotten that far yet. The thought of that Flack's son seeing his daughter even semi naked both infuriated him and made him feel sick to his stomach.
Carmen stepped out of the house last, locking the door behind her. Even after all the years they'd been together, his wife still had the knack for taking his breath away. And tonight was no exception. Her red hair put back in a loose sweep, her trim, alluring body clad in a simple and elegant halter style jade green dress that tied around her slender neck.
He loved her more and more every day. And prayed that they had many more years ahead of them to enjoy each other and their family.
Addie opened the back seat and climbed in and reached for her belt.
Speed looked at her over his shoulder as Carmen climbed in beside him. "Addison, you are aware it's almost eighty five out and you're wearing a coat meant for fall and winter, aren't you?"
She rolled her eyes. Like most teen girls, dads were the lamest, most clueless people on earth. "Yes, dad. I know that. I'm not stupid."
"Well if you're with a Flack, than something isn't quite right in your head," Speed told her.
"That's mean," Carmen scolded her husband.
"Aunt Sam isn't stupid," Addie pointed out. "In fact, she's probably one of the smartest people I know. And she married Uncle Don."
"My point exactly," Speed said. "Something's wrong with all you brainy girls getting involved with these guys."
"Something must be screwed up in my head seeing as I'm married to you" Carmen scoffed, doing up her belt.
Speed frowned.
"You tell him, mom," Addie cheered her on. "And Kieran's a nice guy, dad," his oldest daughter informed him. "He's smart and funny and really handsome and he treats me really good. He's a gentleman."
"He's fifteen," Speed said. "And he's a Flack."
"And she's fourteen and a Speedle," Carmen told him. "So deal with it."
"Well I think it's good that Kieran is a Flack," Addie declared. "Because that means Uncle Don is his dad and Uncle Don is a very good looking man with those blue eyes. And Kieran looks just like him."
"And when our daughter and Sam and Flack's son get married somewhere down the road, Sam and I will finally be related," Carmen told her husband. "Happy day when that happens."
"The day our daughter marries their son is the day I jump off the Brooklyn Bridge," Speed murmured.
"Be nice, daddy," Addie said. "You need to give Kieran a chance."
"Kick in the ass is what he needs," Speed declared as he pulled the SUV out of the driveway.
"Tim," Carmen sighed. "Lay off. He's my godson. And he really is a good kid. He can be a bit of a shit, but he's got a good head on his shoulders. He's well spoken and has good manners and he's respectful, And cute as hell."
"Don't you start," Speed said.
"Why didn't you ever get mixed up with Uncle Don when you guys were younger, mom?" Addie asked curiously. "I mean, I've seen pictures of him when Kieran was a baby and from when him and Aunt Sam got married and he was quite the hottie. Didn't you find him attractive?"
"Sure. Lots of women find him attractive. But when I met him, he was already with your Aunt. They were just in a new relationship and starting to fall in love with each other and I wasn't going to infringe on that. Your Aunt Sam was nuts about him pretty quickly and the two of us became best friends rather quickly and I respected her too much to hurt her like that. Your Uncle Don and I have always been very good friends. He's helped me out through some tough times. And if it wasn't for him not minding his own business one night, your dad and I wouldn't have gotten together in the first place and neither you or Sophia would be here."
"So he's a pretty good guy to have around," Addie concluded.
"Absolutely," Carmen said. "And Kieran takes after him and you're a very lucky girl to have found someone like him."
Addie smiled proudly.
"Ask me, he's damn lucky a girl like her even bothers with him," Speed said.
Carmen shot him a dirty look.
"Kieran is one of a kind," Addie said with a dreamy sigh.
"Addie's in love!" Sophia sing-songed and giggled.
"Shut up, nerd! You just wish you were!"
"Gross! In love with Kieran! I don't think so! He's cute and all, but no thanks. It's gross what you guys do. Necking and your tongues down each others throats. Making out on mom and dad's bed."
"You did what!" Speed nearly roared, shooting his daughter a furious glare through the rear view mirror.
"You're such a loser!" Addie punched her sister in the shoulder. "We do not make out on mom and dad's bed!"
"I sure as hell hope not!" Speed fumed.
"We don't, dad! She's making that up! No boyfriends in any of the bedrooms. I always follow the rules."
"Yeah, they just make out in the basement or in Uncle Donnie's basement!" Sophia roared with laughter.
"Moron!" Addie shrieked and became pummelling her sister in the back seat.
Carmen looked over at her husband. His mouth was set in a firm, grim line and his hands clutched the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turned white.
"What are you thinking?" she asked, almost afraid of the answer.
"I'm thinking I'm getting that kid a chastity belt," he replied. "Or castrating Kieran Flack."
It was quarter to seven by the time Flack found a parking spot in a lot remotely close to Ruby Tuesdays. For an early Thursday evening, Times Square was packed. Mostly from tourists out enjoying the unusually warm March weather and locals having a bite to eat before catching the Knicks face off against the Orlando Magic at Madison Square Gardens.
"How come I still gotta sit in a car seat?" Liam asked in disdain, as his father unbuckled him. "It's for babies!"
"Because it's the law, buddy," Flack explained. "You're still under seven."
"But I'll be seven soon!" he exclaimed. "Just a couple months. No one will know I'm not seven yet, daddy."
"But I know you're not seven and I'm the one driving," Flack told him, setting his son on the ground. "And because I'm a police man I'll get in extra trouble if we're out driving around with you not in your car seat. And you're too small yet to wear a normal seat belt."
"Why do I gotta be the tiny one?" Liam pouted.
"Someone had to take after your mom and it was you. Look at how small your mom is. Sometimes I think she needs to be a in a car seat still too."
"I heard that," Sam said from the curb, smiling at her husband.
"Mom would probably fit too," Kieran piped up.
"You're very funny," Sam laughed. "You're getting more and more like your father every day."
"Just wait until I'm out of the academy and busting heads like him and grandpa Flack," Kieran said. "Can you see me in a uniform, mom? Chasing perps and putting the beats on them?"
"Don't even think about it," Flack told him. "You're gonna be going in the opposite direction. College. Like your mom."
"But what if I want to be a cop?" Kieran asked.
His main desire was to follow in his father's footsteps. He admired his dad and respected him and wanted nothing more than to be just like him. Climb the NYPD ladder. From a simple patrolman to the powerful Chief of Police. He knew one day his dad would get there, and Kieran wanted to be right behind him making him proud.
But every time he brought up the subject, his father acted like it was the worst, most awful suggestion he'd ever heard. Kieran wasn't sure if it was because his dad genuinely didn't want him being a cop and putting himself in harms way, or if his dad thought he wasn't capable of doing the family name proud. Dad wasn't the kind of guy to come right out and tell you he was proud of you. But he was quick to tell you when you fucked up. And even quicker to tell you what you were, and weren't, going to do.
There were moments, in the heat of a squabble with his father over something stupid that had gone down, that Kieran seriously wondered if his dad approved of anything he did. There were times that nothing seemed good enough no matter how hard he tried. And he loved his dad. More than words. But there were times he wondered if his dad loved him.
"Just forgot about it, Kieran," Flack told him as he shut and locked the doors of the SUV. "You're not going to be a cop."
"But if I want to dad I don't see why…"
"I said forget about it," Flack instructed, pocketing his keys. "I don't want to hear about it. Not tonight, not any night."
"Fine," Kieran huffed and his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slumped, headed off with his three sisters down the sidewalk.
"Don't be such a bastard," Sam snapped at her husband. "Why did you talk to him like that?"
"Because he's talking a whole bunch of crap," Flack told her. "He's fifteen years old and thinks being a cop is some fairy tale."
"He's not stupid, Don," she said, taking a hold of Liam's hand. "All his life his father's been a cop. He's seen you get the shit knocked out of you by perps a couple of times and he's seen you on the news after high profile busts in a bullet proof vest talking about how high risk things were and loosing some of your guys. He knows full well that being a cop is hard, dangerous work. And that it's crappy pay and very little respect you get in the end."
"He's not going to be a cop, Sam. End of story," he said, feeling a hand curl around his. He looked down at Declan's smiling face and sparkling eyes.
"Why not? If that's what he wants.." Sam stopped walking and turned to face her husband.
"Because he's better than that," Flack said, stopping as well. "He needs to stay in school and get a degree and make something more of himself. I don't want him out there putting his ass on the line every night. I want him discovering a cure for cancer or taking care of sick people or working on Wall Street. Not serving and protecting a city that won't appreciate what he's doing."
"It's not your say in the end when he's out of school and can make his own decision," she argued. "I think you should be proud of him instead of putting him down all the time."
"I'm not putting him down. I'm just telling him the way it is. He's not going to become a cop. And that's the way it is." And with that, Flack tightened the grip on Declan's hand and started off down the sidewalk.
"Don't dismiss me like that!" Sam said, hurrying off after him, Liam in tow. "I'm not one of those little interns around the office or a lowly public servant working below you. I'm your wife and Kieran's my son and you don't have a right to talk to him or me like that."
"Look, I don't want him becoming a cop. All right? That's all there is to it. We've had this conversation, Sam. Me and you have talked about how we didn't want him becoming a cop. You even said yourself you weren't sold on the idea of joining the NYPD. What's changed?"
"He was ten years old when we talked about that! And it came up because he had you go in and talk to his class for career day and he and every other boy in that class were all sold on becoming a cop. And than he did that essay of his. What was it called? Who I Admire the Most. And he picked you. Why can't you see that all he wants is to be like you? He looks up to you, Don. He loves you and respects you and he deserves to get that back from you."
Flack sighed.
"Do you ever tell him that you're proud of him?" Sam asked. "Or that you love him? Do you feel that for him?"
"Of course I do. He's my son. My first born. I love him more than I could ever tell him. And I am proud of him. But he doesn't need me telling him that. He's a man."
"No. He's not. He's a fifteen year old boy that's working his ass off to gain his father's approval. And if you keep holding back on him and not telling him how you feel, he's going to give up and than go the opposite direction to get your attention. And than you want have to worry about him becoming a cop. You'll be worrying about bailing him out of jail or packing him off to rehab."
Flack snorted. "That's just a little dramatic, don't you think?"
"Would it really kill you to just hug him and tell him you love him? When's the last time you did that? You do it with Declan and Liam and Mikayla all the time. I've even heard you say it to Reghan and Alannah when they've done something wonderful. But never Kieran. The last time you did that with Kieran he was a little boy. He was five years old and knocked out his front teeth when he wiped out in the living room."
"Kieran's different, Sam. He's just different."
"That's the lamest fucking excuse I've ever heard."
Both Liam and Declan giggled.
"Mommy's going to get her mouth washed out," Liam said. "She said the F word."
"Well sometimes mommies and daddies get mad and we say it by mistake," Sam told her youngest.
"It's a bad word, mommy," Liam informed her.
"I know. I'm sorry. I won't say it again. Just your daddy's being a stubborn, mean SOB."
"Don't teach him that," Flack frowned. "Now he's going to be calling me that all the time."
"Well right about now, you deserve it. I know you love Kieran, Don. But I don't think he knows it. And he needs to hear it from you. Please, for me? Just tomorrow when you're out with him after school, just tell him that you love him and you're proud of him. Because he's doing so well in school and with his sports and he's a damn good kid. And he wants nothing more than to hear that from you."
"Fine," Flack said. "For you, I'll do it. I do love him, Sam. How can I not? He's my son. And my first born. But it doesn't mean I'm going to agree with him on everything he says or does. And being a cop is one of those times I can't be on his side. And nothing's going to change my mind."
"Okay," Sam conceded. "But if and when he does decide that that's what he wants to do, I hope you support him. Because you know full well what it was like not to have your father behind you. And I know you don't ever want Kieran feeling the way you did."
Flack chuckled and shook his head.
"What?" Sam asked. "You find that funny?"
"No. What I find funny is that you always have a way of making me feel like the biggest A-hole on earth and shutting me up."
"I love you, Don. You know I do. But sometimes, you act like the biggest A-hole on earth."
Flack stopped in his tracks several feet from the entrance of the popular family restaurant, The rest of his kids had long arrived and were chatting with Carmen and Speed and their girls. Kieran was joking around with Carmen, calling her Auntie Red. His nickname for her since he was just a little boy. And the only kid she let call her that.
He also already had an arm wrapped securely around Addie's slender waist. Much to Speed's dismay. He was already glaring at the kid.
"Declan," Flack leaned down to speak to his son. "You and Liam run up ahead. I just want to talk to your mom for a second, okay?"
"'Kay, Dad," he agreed, dropping Flack's hand and than grabbing a hold of Liam's and nearly dragging his little brother down the sidewalk.
"Come here for a second," Flack said, holding his hand out to his wife.
She eyed him suspiciously. "Why?" she asked.
"Just come here. What? Do you think I'm going to attack you and rape you in the middle of Times Square? I'm waiting until we're home and the kids are in bed to do that."
She grinned and laid her hand in his and giggled as he pulled her into him and circled her body with his big, strong arms.
"I love you, Sam," he said. "And I love my son. I love all my kids. I wouldn't give any of you up for the world. But Kieran being a cop? It scares me. Because I don't ever want to be getting a phone call that something has happened to my son. And I don't want you dealing with that either. I know what it was like for my mom when the bombing happened and she didn't think I was going to make it. And I don't want you going through that."
"I worry all the time, Don," she told him. "I've been worrying every day for almost sixteen years now. Worrying that every time you step out the door you're not going to step back in. Do you remember that raid? When I was still pregnant with Kieran? You could have died that day."
"It's not the same thing, Sam. He's your son. He's your baby."
"And you're my husband. The love of my life. And you're his father. Without you he wouldn't be here. So don't try and tell me that I'd be more devasted to lose him than I would you. You can't compare those two things, Don. Because he's my son and you're the reason I have my son."
"I don't want him being a cop, Sam. And you shouldn't want that either."
"I want him doing what makes him happy. And you know what, he's fifteen. There's three years until he graduates high school and has to make the decision to either join the academy or to to university. And it's up to him. I don't want you pressuring him to make a decision that he's going to kick himself in the ass for later. We want him to happy. And he won't be if he feels your forcing him into something. Can you do that, Don? Go easy on him and let him figure out what he wants?"
He sighed heavily. "I can try," he said.
Sam stared at him, eyebrows raised.
"I will back off the kid. But it doesn't mean I'm going to be overly thrilled if that's what he decides. I'll support him and go to his academy graduation, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."
"No. You don't. But you put a smile on your face and tell him you're proud of him and you love him. And he needs to hear that. Even now. He loves you and admires you and respects you. And he needs to know you feel the same way about him."
"I know," Flack said. "I guess I just look at him and he's this big, strong kid and he seems older than he is and I think maybe he doesn't need to or want to hear that sort of thing."
"He's still a child, Don. And he does need it and want it. Promise me you'll talk to him tomorrow. It will do both of you a world of good."
"I promise," Flack said, and kissed her softly.
"Hey! None of that!" Speed called. "That's why you guys have six kids!"
Flack smirked and took his wife's hand and headed for the small group. "And you being a square is why you only have two," he told his friend. "Don't worry, though. Devine gets bored, she can always join us."
"Mommy," Liam tugged at Sam's dress. "I gotta go pee!"
"I'll take him, mom," Kieran offered. "I need to go too."
Liam visibly blanched at the idea of his oldest brother taking him to the bathroom. Liam had an abnormal, nearly hysterical paranoia about standing up to go to the bathroom. Up until seven months ago, he'd had to stand on a stool to even hit the inside of the bowl. The first time that he'd been able to stand like a big boy, Kieran had been in the washroom at the same time brushing his teeth and proceeded to tell his baby brother about the time when he stood for the first time and the toilet set fell and nearly chopped his privates off. A totally made up story that Kieran thought was quite hilarious.
That was it for Liam. After that he'd been terrified of having what he called his 'noonie' cut off by the toilet seat. No matter how many times his father insisted nothing was going to happen to him, Liam refused to go unless he was sitting. It didn't help that the few times he did try, Kieran was right there pretending he was going to drop the lid.
"No way!" Liam balked. "You're mean!"
"I was just joking all those times," Kieran assured him. "Come on, I won't do anything to scare ya."
Liam shook his head and clung to his mother's legs.
"Gimme a break, Liam," Kieran said. "You really want mommy to take you? Only babies get their mommies to take them to the bathroom."
If Liam hated anything more than the thought of losing his noonie, it was being a baby. He caved in and accepted his older brother's stretched out hand.
"I promise I won't let the lid chop it off," Kieran said. "Or the alligators that hide in the pipes to come out of the bowl and bite it off."
"Kieran," Sam said with an exasperated sigh, shaking her head.
"Not funny, K!" Liam cried, near tears.
"I will take you," Sam told her little son and grabbed his hand. "But you're standing whether you like it or not."
"Don't let the gators get my noonie, mommy!" Liam wailed as they headed into the restaurant as the others followed behind.
"How in the hell do you manage?" Speed asked Flack, as the two men lingered behind on the sidewalk to have a smoke. "Six kids. Seriously. I can barely manage two and you have three times that much. And one of them is like having two in one with all the troubles and struggles that come with him."
"I manage because I have an amazing wife that does most of the work," Flack admitted, shaking a cigarette from the package in his pocket and placing it between his lips. "Sam keeps everything running smoothly. She pays the bills, spends most of the time with the kids. Fits work and me in there somewhere. She's not perfect, but she tries damn hard."
"You wanted want her perfect, Flack. Imagine how boring that would be."
"True," he said and lit his smoke and took a long drag. "I kinda like our crazy, noisy, hectic existence. If the kids weren't around, I'd be damn lonely. And if Sam wasn't here.." he shook his head. "I don't even wanna think about that."
"Don't worry, Flack. It's not weak or less manly to admit you'd die without her. I feel the same way about Carmen every second of every day."
"When Sam got shot and I got that call…I can still remember it to this day. I drove to that hospital and all I kept thinking was what if she hadn't have had that vest on? She wouldn't have made it. And I'd have all these kids to tell that their mother is dead. And have to carry on for them when all I would really want to do is curl up and die. And I was terrified for the first time in my life at the thought of not having her anymore."
"It wasn't her time to go," Speed reasoned. "And it was blessing she had that vest on and all that sent her to the hospital was shock."
Flack nodded.
"Heard you get handed your ass by DHS today."
Flack laughed. "Big time. She's something else when she's at work. She wasn't going to let me boss her around. She didn't care who was there. She told me where to go and how to get there without even blinking an eye. She's tough. Little but tough."
"Tested all those drugs. It was coke. Ninety-eight percent pure."
Flack whistled lowly.
"No kidding. Huge haul, too. Nearly three hundred kilos. DEA is in their glory. What's the news of the DHS side of things?"
"Not much."
"Come on, Flack. You're husband and wife. She must tell you things."
"She does. As a wife telling her husband. Strictly personal. And I don't take it back and use it against her to poach a suspect or step on her toes. So even if she did say anything to me, I wouldn't tell you."
Speed grinned. "You're a loyal, bastard, Flack."
"She's my wife. I'm not going to sell her out or stab her in the back because the NYPD wants the glory. Can't do it. Sorry."
The other man just nodded.
"I was thinking," Flack said, as he finished his smoke and exhaled and dropped the butt to the ground. "I think we need to have a talk with our kids."
"About?"
"You know what about. Kieran and Addie are getting pretty serious, Speedle. And I don't want to be a grandfather anytime soon. So we need to sit them down and talk to them."
"How about you sit your boy down and tell him to keep his hands off my daughter?" Speed suggested.
"What good is that going to do? My kid isn't pressuring your daughter into anything. She's right into it. And we can't forbid them to see each other. What good will that do? They'll just sneak around behind our backs and do it. Better we just tackle it head on, give them both a talking to and that's that."
"You do want you want with your boy, Flack, I'll do what I want with Addie."
"Come on. Going iron-fisted on them isn't going to work. You know what's going to happen if we even try? They'll rebel. And our families will be the next Montagues and Capulets."
Speed couldn't hold back a chuckled. "Don't tell me you're a Shakespeare man."
"You kidding? I've seen the movie. About a dozen times. Sam way back in the day had a thing for that Leonardo DiCaprio and made me watch that and Titanic over and over again."
"You poor man," Speed said, and tossed his own smoke.
"I'm serious," Flack told him. "About our kids."
"So am I," Speed said, clapping his friend on his shoulder before heading towards the door to the busy restaurant. "Tell your kid to keep it in his pants."
Flack smirked and watched his old friend go.
Easier said than done, he thought, than followed behind.
"Mommy?" Liam asked, as Sam pushed her way into the spacious, well lit bathroom. "Why does it smell so bad in here?"
"It's a bathroom," she replied.
"Yeah, but even the bathroom at home doesn't smell dis bad and Kieran uses it."
Sam couldn't help but smirk. At six (almost seven, Liam was constantly reminding people, than giving them a detailed list about what he'd like for his birthday) her son was full of curiosity and never ending questions. Liam said what he felt without no thought about whether he was embarrassing himself, his mother, or other people. He told it like it was without realizing the implications of his words. Just like his father in that respect.
That curiosity surpassed innocent inquiries. Liam had to touch everything. He wasn't afraid to approach a dead bird or squirrel on the sidewalk and poke at it with a stick. He could pick up worms and mice and the garter snakes they got in the back garden without even blinking an eye. Bringing such things into the house with wide eyed exuberance and a 'Here you go mommy' before dropping his treasures at her feet.
He played in mud. Hell, he even ate mud. And glue and Play-Doh a couple of times at school. He jumped off the top ledge of the play set in their backyard and broke his arm twice and sliced his head open a number of times. He was fearless and couldn't sit still. And in the midst of his boundless energy, he was constantly banging into people or tripping over objects or his own feet. And the harder he seemed to fall, the more he got up, dusted himself off and did it all over again. He was the tiniest of the Flack children at his age, but he was possibly the toughest. Even Kieran, as big and solid as he was now, hadn't been that adventurous at that early of an age.
She pushed open one of the stall doors and let her son pass through before following behind and latching the door behind them. She lifted the lid and waited for him to get down to business.
"Close your eyes, mommy," Liam said. "A guy needs some privacy."
Sam fought off a giggle and closed her eyes. Liam had obviously been listening to Kieran a little too closely to make a comment like that. She heard the rustle of clothing being dropped the floor and than the quite tinkling.
The door to the bathroom opened. Heels clicked on the tile floor.
"Someone's in here, mommy!" Liam exclaimed, ready to stop mid job.
"This is a public bathroom," she told him.
"Oh…oh yeah…" he said, and continued with his business.
Next to them the stall door closed and locked. More clothing being disposed off. Than the sound of someone going to the washroom.
"Someone else is going pee, mommy!" Liam cried excitedly in an unnecessarily loud voice.
Sam felt herself flush from head to toe. What is wrong with my child? She thought.
The occupant next to them started to laugh at the little boy's outburst.
"I know that's you, Liam Flack," a familiar voice said. "I can recognize that little voice anywhere!"
"Auntie Montanie!" he shrieked happily, and nearly sprayed the walls and the back of the toilet. Uncle Danny had been drilling it into him since he was four years old that it wasn't Auntie Lindsay or Auntie Linds. It was Auntie Montana. Liam had since come up with his own version of the nickname.
Lindsay laughed even harder.
"It's Auntie Montanie, mommy!" Liam informed Sam, finishing up and drying himself up with a fistful of toilet paper and hastily yanking his clothes back up. Sam had to straighten out his pants and make sure the fly was done up before letting him out of the stall and leading him to the bank of sinks.
"Don't touch 'em!" Liam cried when he saw his mother reaching for the taps. "Daddy said always use a paper towel because of the germs!"
"Well you're dad's a bit of a freak," Sam said, but grabbed some paper towl to appease her son. Knowing that if she didn't, an all out temper tantrum over other peoples cooties would no doubt ensue.
"Hey, guys," Lindsay greeted, as she stepped out of the stall and came to the sinks, where Sam was holding Liam up to wash his hands.
"Hi Auntie Montanie!" Liam chirped. "Guess what?"
"What?" she asked, soaping up her hands.
"I'm gonna be seven soon."
Lindsay grinned. "I know. You told me yesterday. And the day before, and the day before that. Remember?"
"I thought maybe you forgot," he said. "You gonna come to my party, right? Mommy and daddy are having a party for me. At our house. You gonna come right?"
"Uncle Danny and the kids and I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world," she assured him. "What was it that you wanted again? A football?"
"Uh-uh," Liam said, shaking his head.
"A baseball glove?" she tried again.
"Nope."
"Soccer ball?"
"No. A hockey stick and a helmet, silly. So I can be just like Kieran. He plays hockey, you know. So does daddy. But not so much now 'cause mommy says he's getting too old for that sort of thing. And that he's not a spring chicken anymore. What does that mean?"
"It means your dad is slowing down a bit," Lindsay told him, drying up her hands. "He needs to take it easy."
"Mommy says it's 'cause his legs and his back ain't what they use to be."
"That's probably it, too," Lindsay said.
"But we can't tell daddy any of that," Liam told her. Than lowered his voice to a loud whisper. "It's our little secret."
"Gotcha," Lindsay laughed.
"And I lost another tooth," the little boy informed her. "See?" he tilted his head back and opened wide. "It feel out at school and I couldn't find it. But daddy says the tooth fairy will still come 'cause she sees everything and knows I lost it and couldn't find it. Do you think that's true, Auntie Montanie?"
"I know it's true," Lindsay told him. "In fact," she snapped open her small purse and pulled out her wallet and zipped open the change compartment. "Your mom was telling me on the phone that you got a really good score on your spelling test."
"Seven outta ten!" he exclaimed proudly.
"That's great. So I have a little something for you. But it's just for you, okay? Don't tell your brothers and your sisters. All right?"
He nodded, his eyes widening as she held up a twenty dollar bill. "For me?" he asked, nose and eyes crinkling as he smiled, the same way his mother's did when she was happy.
"All for you," Lindsay said. "Here," she folded the bill and held it out to Sam. "Your mommy will hold it for you until you get home. Okay?"
"Okay," he agreed. "Thank you, Auntie Montanie."
"You're welcome. But you have to promise me you won't tell anyone about it."
"Just me, you and mommy."
"Exactly. Promise?"
"Promise," he said, than made the sign of the cross over his heart. "Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. Kieran taught me that. Funny, huh? Can I go now, mommy?"
"Wait for me to…"
Sam didn't get the words out of her mouth. Liam was already bolting from the bathroom. Throwing the door open and rushing out into the busy restaurant. Colliding head first into a pair of unsuspecting legs as they emerged from the men's restroom.
"Watch where you're going, little Flack," a familiar voice said. "You're gonna get hurt."
"Uncle Danny!" he cried happily. By the shrieking and giggling that followed, Sam and Lindsay both knew that Uncle Danny had scooped the little boy up and was now tipping him upside down or tickling him to death. Or both.
Sam sighed and briefly closed her eyes and shook her head.
"He's definitely the hellion out of the six," Lindsay laughed. "But out of half a dozen, one of them had to be."
"I need a vacation," Sam declared, as her friend looped her arm through hers and led the way from the washroom.
It was well after nine pm when the large, boisterous party finally left the restaurant. It had been a fun night of reminiscing and sharing laughs among the old team. It was amazing the major differences that had occurred in most of their lives. Professions had changed for some while others had stayed where they were but had moved up the ladder. Others had left all together to take care of family obligations.
The biggest changes were each and every one was personal. Each and every one of them were parents now. Their respective children sitting at their own table nearby, entertaining each other and watching out for the little ones. Liam clung to Chloe. Danny's daughter with Erica was his favorite of all his cousins and he never left her side and she relished the attention and looked after him with patience and love.
Declan had hung out with the adults. There was no way he was going to sit with the kids. Too boring as far as he was concerned. And he liked being able to sit with his dad and Papa Mac and all his aunts and uncles who didn't treat him any differently and listened patiently and intently when he had something to say. Sam and Flack's main concern, when they had found out about the Down Syndrome, would be how their friends and colleagues would react.
Those people were their family and it mattered how they felt and what their opinions were. Every person they had told had said the same thing. "I'm sorry." They didn't want peoples' pity. They had wanted them to just say that Declan was going to do great and that they'd love him no matter what. There was nothing to be sorry about. He was a beautiful, relatively healthy baby once he was past his cardiac problems, and his parents weren't going to treat him any different than their other children.
It had been Angell that stepped out of the norm and shocked Flack with her reaction. She'd come to the hospital to visit the triplets in the NICU. She and Hawkes had been on vacation when the babies arrived unexpectedly, and the tests had already come back to confirm Declan's disability.
Angell had stood over each of the incubators and looked in and put her hands inside and stroked the tiny hands and feet and spoke to them in a soft, melodic voice that Flack had never known she possessed. She had went to the girls first, than moved over to Declan and ran a finger over his tiny head covered in thick black hair. Touched his cheek gently. Smiling as he instinctively turned his his to suckle at her finger tip.
"He's my favorite," she announced. "He definitely looks just like you, Flack."
"He has Down Syndrome," Flack had said. The words tumbling out. His heart breaking as he heard himself admitting it out loud that his son was far from perfect and would never be like other kids. How could he ever cope with that?
"Really?" Angell asked in surprise. "Hmm..well he's a beautiful little guy anyway. You should be proud of him. He's gorgeous. You know, my older brother has Down Syndrome."
Flack had been shocked. Angell had never mentioned it before. He knew she had older brothers and her father was an ex-detective, but that had been as much information as she'd ever given him.
"My mom and dad were shocked as hell," she had continued. "Not what they were expecting. Mom came around pretty quick. It was his son regardless. But my dad…" she sighed. "He never could accept it. Made my mom send John away to an institution. He would have done so much better if he'd stayed at home with all of us. But my dad was embarrassed. He couldn't deal."
Flack had said nothing. He had just stood and watched Jessica Angell softly stroke his five day old son's hair.
"Promise me you'll never do that to him," Angell had said, voice choked with emotion. Tears in her eyes as she studied the barely three pound baby. "He's your son. Love him and be proud of him. Don't ever feel embarrassed or send him away. Because he's a blessing and he came to your for a reason."
Flack had never forgotten that day. Or the power Angell's words had had over him, Nor had he ever told anyone that the conversation had taken place. It was something they had shared and he planned on keeping it tucked away in his memory.
But he thought about it now and many other things that had happened in the last sixteen years, on the drive home in the dark to Queens. Alannah and Reghan sharing the earphones to an iPod while Mikayla was already asleep with her head on Reghan's shoulder. Kieran was in the back playing his PSP he took every where while Declan slept soundly on one of Kieran's shoulders and Liam had his head in his oldest brother's lap.
"We need a vacation," Sam announced from the front passenger's seat. She'd been quiet and dozing throughout most of the trip.
"I wholeheartedly agree," Kieran piped up from the back.
"With six kids?" Flack asked. "We can't afford that."
"Don't be cheap dad," his oldest son said.
"I meant just you and me," Sam told her husband.
"We have six kids," he reminded her. "And we don't know anyone that owes us that many favours."
"I can watch the brats for a week, dad," Kieran offered.
"Like hell you can," Flack said. "Over night is one thing. But a week? Never going to happen."
Kieran shrugged his broad shoulders. "Just offering," he said. "Mom deserves to go away. When was the last time she went anywhere? Even to the grocery store on her own?"
"Why don't you go away?" Flack asked his wife. "Get Carmen or Lindsay or both to go somewhere with you."
"Because I don't want to go away with the girls. I want to go away with you. I want to be alone with you. Not Carmen and Lindsay. You. Is that such a hard thing to comprehend?"
"We've got six kids, Sam," he stressed once again. "And I can't take time off of work right now. You know that."
"I know," she sighed and turned her face to look out the window. "I know."
"I'll go away with you, mom," Kieran said. "Me and you can go down to Florida. Daytona Beach. And you can get yourself on that Girls Gone Wild show."
"What is wrong with you?" Flack asked, looking at his son through the rear view mirror.
"Hey, in case you've been too busy to notice, dad, mom's pretty popular with the guys. Even my friends think she's pretty hot. And I scouted at least three of the waiters and a bartender tonight checking her out. You need to start paying more attention to her. 'Cause there's dudes out there more than willing to step up and do it when you start falling behind in that department."
"Tell your friends I'm going to kick their asses for looking at your mother like that," Flack said.
"Just making a point," Kieran told him. "She's put up with ya for sixteen years. But don't think she can't find someone else if you push her to it."
Flack frowned. Than looked at his wife. "Would you do that?" he asked. "Find someone else?"
"Of course not," she said. "Do I have a reason to?"
"No. Not that I know of. I mean, you're happy, right?"
She turned her head and smiled at him and reached out to rub his leg. "I'm here aren't I?"
By ten thirty at night, all the kids were tucked into bed and all the doors locked up for the night and Maximus the big Sheppard sprawled at the foot of the bed. Sam sat, freshly showered and in a night shirt and her glasses, in the middle of the bed with her lap top open in front of her and a mountain of case folders beside of her. Flack was stretched out beside her in boxers and a t-shirt, watching ESPN, scratching Cujo's belly as the tiny dog lay on his back on Flack's chest.
A knock came to the bedroom door.
"Get to bed," Flack said in response.
"Mom! Dad!" Kieran's voice sounded urgent. "I need to show you guys something!"
"Who broke something or who needs stitches?" Flack asked.
"I just need to show you guys something important!" his son replied.
"Come in, Kieran," Sam said.
Their fifteen year old son poked his head into their room. "You guys like?" he asked.
His parents looked over. He was rubbing his head. That was now baring a shorn, military style cut.
"Kieran!" Sam nearly shrieked, jumping in surprise, almost sending the lap top crashing to the floor. That was the last thing either she or Flack expected. "What did you do?"
"Isn't it cool?" he asked, running his hand over his new 'do. "Alannah did it for me ten minutes ago. We took the clippers to it and…"
"The clippers?" Flack asked. "What clippers?"
"The ones in the basement."
Sam grimaced. "Those were meant for trimming the dogs, Kieran."
"Don't worry, mom. I cleaned them first. You like it, mom? What do you think?"
"It's a surprise. But you look really good. Thank God you have a smooth head to pull that off. You look very very handsome."
"You like it dad?" Kieran asked, both his parents hearing the eagerness for his father's approval in his voice.
Sam held her breath. Expecting the worst.
"You look damn good, Kieran," Flack said. "I'm proud of you for taking on a decision like that for yourself."
Keiran beamed. His entire face lighting up. "Thanks, dad," he said. "I just wanted to come and show you guys. I'm gonna head to bed now."
"Good idea," Flack told him. "I'll pick you up from school tomorrow? Or you can meet me at the office?"
"I'll meet ya at your office. We can go and buy my hockey stuff and get my skates sharpened?"
His father nodded.
"Cool. Maybe we could go to that place by Madison Square Gardens that sells all that crazy flavoured fudge," Kieran said. "Remember dad? You and I used to go there all the time when you won those seasons tickets for the Rangers. Think we could stop there?"
"No problem," Flack said.
Kieran slipped into the room and leaned over the bed to kiss his mom's cheek. Than his father's.
"'Night, mom, 'night, dad," he said as he headed for the door. "I love you guys."
"We love you, too, Kieran," Flack responded before his wife had a chance to.
Kieran grinned. "Keep the noise down, you two," he said with a wink and than closed the door.
Sam smiled at her husband.
"What?" Flack asked, trying not to make a big deal out of what had transpired. "Can you believe that? I said to get a haircut and he shaves his whole head. Looks like he's joining the Army or becoming a skin head."
"That's not why I'm looking at you" Sam told him. "I'm proud of you. For everything you just said to your son."
Flack smiled. "I'm not always a prick, Sam," he told her.
She pecked his cheek and went back to her work.
"I was thinking," he said in all seriousness.
She stopped, her fingers poised above the keyboard. "About?" she asked.
"Me and you need to talk."
Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing! I appreciate each and everyone of you!