Hey there. Yes I know, it's later than I said I'd post it, but you know the final exams and everything. And besides I've been really struggling with this one, so please tell me what you think. Any review even a bad one is a good thing. One more thing that kept me from posting this is the fact that I'm currently working on another still unfinished fanfiction, which should hopefully be up soon. I can't yet tell you the title, since I haven't come up with it yet, but what I can tell you is that it's going to be about Solo family, which mean Han, Leia, Jacen, Jaina and of course "uncle" Luke.

Disclaimer: My precious *in Gollum's voice* (aka Star Wars) is not mine!

Chapter 16 – Reasons to smile

Han did one more quick scan of the throne room to make sure she really wasn't there and then headed for the vault that connected the throne room with outer terrace. He stepped outside to the dark stone surface just as two officers went back inside, withdrawing to pleasantly cooler interior of the Massasi temple. Now empty terrace was partly lit from the light in the main chamber, but most of it was covered in darkness and shades. And there she was, unmistakable white figure, Leia Organa, the last Princess of Alderaan. She was standing all by herself on the far side of the terrace and leaning slightly on the stone fence, her hands resting on it, one on top of the other. Her eyes were fixed on something distant in the sky.

Han stepped towards her, his eyes soon adjusting to lack of artificial light. He realized that it wasn't at all that dark and that the moon provided more than enough light. Leia was like a statue. Still, slightly pale. The only thing that actually indicated that she wasn't a magnificent marble masterpiece was her hair slightly moving with the wind. But then she was more, more than a masterpiece. Under the statue-like mask of perfection were hidden desperation, utter misery and agony, and no sculptor no matter how good he was, could ever capture so much.

Han moved even closer and he was soon standing right beside her, but Leia still didn't give any sign of noticing him. Instead she kept staring at the sky. He decided to break the silence: "What are you doing out here?"

"It was too hot inside" replied Leia quietly after a while.

Han rolled his eyes at such a bad lie. "Don't bullshit me, it's far hotter here."

"But it's not as suffocating" she spoke, reveling much more than she intended to. The party inside was just too much for her. She tried at first, but when everything that happened in the past few days threatened to overwhelm her, she retreated to solitude. But Han found her and as many times before she got the impression, that he knew exactly what was on her mind.

"Quite fascinating and horrible at the same time isn't it?" she spoke quietly, not turning away from the starry sky. "Some of these stars that shine upon us right now aren't there anymore, and their light is still reaching us, like they hadn't died already."

Han knew where this was heading, yet he stood still, unable to speak, paralyzed by her words.

"It's still there" she said. "Alderaan. It's still there. We are so many light years away that it still appears untouched, like nothing ever happened. It will be days, maybe even years until there will be a barely visible green shine and then its light will disappear forever."

"It makes it feel like a barren victory" said Han sighing.

"Victory" murmured Leia. "I can't even think of it as a victory, too much was lost." After a short pause she continued: "If I only think how many people died in the last twelve hours… And not only Alderaanians, but all those on the Death Star. I know it was military base and yet most of them were innocent, they shouldn't have died." She paused glancing at Han for the first time. "I know you had friends there and I hope they made it off the station before… you know."

"Yeah me too" said Han quietly and like so many times this evening his thoughts escaped to his friends. Gren should be quite fine since he was on Tatooine during the battle, but Han wasn't really sure what happened to Kezzel and Hectnor. He hoped they managed to escape, but his hopes weren't high. The only one for whom Han was sure was dead was Xilon who died in explosion, that Han, Leia and Xilon's younger brother Fion have witnessed. It was a tragedy and a terrible loss for both, Han and Fion, but the boy was safe now and that too was something.

Han said nothing more and for minutes they were both alone in their thoughts and yet together in mourning.

"I thought destroying the Death Star would bring me some satisfaction" spoke Leia suddenly. "I thought it would somehow revenge my people" she added more fiercely this time. "It didn't. It just ended in more people dying." She was puzzled by her own ability to speak of the past events, to speak at all. But Han was the only one who knew about most of the things that happened on the Death Star and she felt it was much easier to share her thoughts with someone who was much like her dealing with a loss, with someone who wasn't cheerfully celebrating a mass murder.

Laughter that came from the inside of the ancient temple broke the silence and a new song, though it was almost impossible to hear, started playing.

"I don't understand how everybody can be so happy" said Leia angrily. "It's like ignoring all those deaths"

"I don't know" said Han shrugging. "I see it more as accepting them, giving them a certain meaning."

Leia knew what he meant and to some point he was right, but… How could they continue their lives when so many have been extinguished, how could they continue their lives when she could not?

Until then, she was always so strong, but now she looked so small, so fragile and that's what worried Han the most. He leaned closer wanting to put a protective arm over her shoulder.

At his touch she gasped and quickly moved away. "Don't touch me" she hissed before she could restrain either herself or the series of memories that flashed before her eyes.

Han moved away. "Oh, do forgive me Your High-and-mightiness, if my gesture offended you" he said, throwing his hands in the air. He turned around and started walking away.

"Wait" spoke Leia just loud enough for him to hear. He slowly turned back to face her. "I'm sorry" she said "It's not you, it's…" She fell silent again and looked away, trying to hide her face in the shadows.

Han returned to his previous place, observing young princess attentively. "It's because of those drugs, isn't it?" he finished in her stead.

Leia bit her lip and whispered: "Probably."

"But that's not all, is it?" asked Han and for a split second his eyes stopped at her injured knuckles and bruises around her wrists. Long sleeves didn't conceal them as well as Leia hoped they would. In one quick motion he gently seized her hand, starting to pull up her sleeve. Once more, she backed away fiercely, but this time intentionally and fully aware of her actions.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked angrily.

"I need to know" he responded and something in his voice, perhaps a small sign of pleading left Leia at loss of her words for a moment.

"I..." she started, pausing for a second. "You're perfectly aware of the standard Imperial procedure" she spoke gathering her composure yet again.

Her words were like knives stabbing into the most sensitive parts of Han's mind. He was about to say something, but Leia spoke first: "Please, don't."

"You should go to the medical center" said Han against her obvious wish not to say anything more about that matter.

"No need. Imperial medical droid gave me pain killers before I was brought to Tarkin" she said intentionally avoiding to say what happened that time "and I took some when we landed on Yavin. There really is no need to worry."

"You should at least tell someone" said Han, not dropping the subject.

"Thank you for your concern Captain" she replied formally, trying to put some distance between them "but no thank you."

They were quiet for a while, both observing the beauty surrounding them, though Han was pretty sure their definition of beautiful might be drastically different in that particular moment.

"I suggested you for the medal, you know, along with Skywalker" said Leia, trying to break the tension that was build during their conversation and never really faded away. "Mon Mothma, of course, didn't want to hear any of it."

"I can imagine" spoke Han amused. "Thanks, I guess, but I'm not really a hero material."

"Still, I think you deserved it"

"There are other types of awards, beside medals" spoke Han matter-of-factly.

"If money is what you love, that's what you're going to get" she replied coldly, not even bothering to hide disappointment and annoyance.

"I wasn't talking about money" said Han with a mischievous expression on his face.

Leia subconsciously started biting her lip, but stopped the moment she saw ex-Imperial's gaze fixed on it. "What did you have in mind, then?" she asked, though she was pretty sure she knew what it was.

"Well" began Han and lazily leaned on the terrace's railing with his elbows and back. "How bout a kiss?"

"How about you cool down a bit, huh flyboy" she said with hair eyebrows raised.

"I was only kiddin, okay?" replied Han. "Trying to make you smile you know."

"Sorry Captain, your…" she cleared her throat "charming offer, isn't quite enough to make me smile."

"If my charm isn't enough to make you smile, then I don't know what is" spoke Han faking seriousness "but I'll give it a shot anyway."

In that moment a young man stumbled on terrace. It was Luke and he was clearly so drunk that Leia was quite fascinated he was still in vertical position. Wes came after him and it was impossible to miss that his legs were somehow unsteady as well. None of them was sober enough to spot Han and Leia.

"You know" mumbled Luke "I've never been on a boat, but…" he paused trying to form the rest of the sentence "but… uhm… I guess that's what it feels like to be seasick."

"I fell ya mate" said Wes and came to Luke's side, but whether it was to keep Luke from falling or just to support himself was not clear. "Let's get you back inside, shall we" he added, proving that he was after all in a quite better state than Luke.

"Here, let me help you" said another voice and Wedge came out as well. He supported Luke on the other side.

"I really like you Wedge" spoke Luke while smiling crazily. "You're funny."

"Right" said Corellian slowly. Turning around to get a better grip of the young man, he spotted Han and Leia on the far side of the terrace. "Oh, hey guys" he greeted and then spoke again to Luke: "Let's get you outta here before you declare your love to someone else."

With those last words Wedge glanced knowingly towards Han and Leia. Then he turned back to his companions and with Wes' help they somehow managed to half carry half drag Luke back inside. "I don't feel so good" was the last thing Han and Leia could hear from the trio.

Han smirked and turned to Leia. "Well here you go, a reason to smile" he said.

Leia's expression didn't change one bit. "It might be funny now, but I don't even dare to think how Luke is going to feel tomorrow."

Han laughed. "Well yeah that's the funny part." After seeing the stern look on Leia's face which was, even though Han didn't realize it, partly faked he became serious again.

What for Force's sake was he supposed to say, to make this girl smile, a girl that has literally lost everything.

"Let's see, reasons to smile" he started while thinking that this time he really got it over his head. "Okay, how bout…You're a better drinker than Luke"

"Yes, that is definitely what every young lady wants to hear" she replied, thought this time more amused than before.

"Young lady?" grinned Han "Don't make me laugh, that certainly wasn't a lady gulping down that whiskey, or shooting down those stormtroopers."

"You might be right on this one" said Leia. "Go on"

"Then there's Wedge, who really likes you, hell whole X-Wing squadron adores you, and then there's Luke" said Han speaking the truth even though he didn't like it. "I think the Kid's got quite a thing for you."

"I've noticed" she replied "But he's just a boy."

"He must be about your age" Han pointed out.

"But he's male. On emotional level and level of intelligence development that makes him about 14, maybe 15"

"Is that so?" asked Han with his arms crossed.

"Yes" replied Leia decisively.

"And this theory of yours, does it apply to all men?"

"Of course"

"Even me?" he asked arrogantly.

"Especially you" she said and smiled at his expression of deepest offence.

"Ah there it is" spoke Han gently "The smile I've been waiting for"

She looked away for a brief second, as if she was shy, but then the moment past and warrior Leia returned once again. Her voice as she spoke was at the same time challenging and yet more cheerful than before: "Let's say that your offended expression counts as one, but you spoke in plural, so let me hear those other reasons to smile."

"You just love to see me struggling with these" Han scowled. "So you've get Wedge and Luke and there's always Threepio there for you."

Leia's eyes narrowed. "Why does that feel like a terrible death sentence?"

Han continued not bothering to reply to her sarcastic comment: "And then you've got me."

Leia's lowered her gaze and Han silently cursed himself for saying that.

"Do you mean that?" she asked quietly, looking up to his eyes. "Are you going to stay?"

"Well" spoke Han stalling slightly. "Don't know yet. I haven't given it much of a thought."

Leia nodded slowly and turned back to watch the cloudless sky.

"It's been a long day" said Han after a while "I think I'll be going to sleep. How bout you?"

Leia was puzzled for a second and still seemingly lost in her own thoughts she replied: "Yes me too"

"Come, I'll walk ya"

Together they went, first through the throne room, which was now visibly less crowded than before and then through several corridors until Leia finally stopped.

"Here we are" she said.

"Okay" he spoke somehow awkwardly.

"Goodnight Captain Solo" said Leia opening the door to her quarters.

"Goodnight" he said and went off, leaving behind not only Leia, but also something else, something left unspoken.

That's all for now and yes it's not much of a cliffhanger, but it in a weird way indicates something that will happen in the next chapter and at that point I can guarantee you'll be shocked.