A/N so it's been far too long since i updated this but to be honest i don't have an excuse i just kind of forgot about this...oops:3 but here is my new one shot, i hope you enjoy it
Inspired by Coldplay's Shiver
Everyday I'm right here, maybe a bit late, but I'm always right here. Always staying here with him, not because of my destiny or duty but because of Arthur and our rather one-sided friendship. I confide in him, I try to advise him and no matter what I say or do, I will always just be an idiotic servant to him. No matter how many times I've been right about so many things he still doesn't believe me. He says I'm never right about these things, that I must just be delusional but let's see, I told Arthur that the snakes on Knight Valiant's shield came to life, I told him that Uther's wife was a troll, that Gaius was possessed by a goblin and that Agravaine was betraying him. As it turns out the snakes on Knights Valiant's shield did come to life, Uther's wife was a troll, Gaius was possessed by a goblin and Agravaine was betraying Arthur. That's four times just off the top of my head, when will he start to listen? I advise and he ignores, I try to help him and he turns to someone else, because of course, I'm just an idiot, I don't know anything.
And how many times will I save this kingdom before he appreciates me, how many nightmares will i have over his welfare, how many times will I risk my life for his before he knows who I really am? Day and night my life is him, i work for him all day, doing my best to make him comfortable and confident in his role as king and as night falls i turn to Emrys, Arthur's protector, running around like a common criminal in the cover of darkness rather than being honoured for my loyalty and dedication. I don't want a title, I don't want land or money for my efforts, I just want his acceptance and thanks.
He's sent me away but try as he might he cannot get rid of me because even if he makes my life hell and he doesn't care for me like i do for him, he is my friend, and my reason for life and i know he will be the greatest king of all time and i need to help him get there. And when he is there, when he knows of my magic and the kingdom is free and he no longer has a use for me, i will stay to see if he cares at all and if he doesn't, then I'll still stay because even if he doesn't care for me, he does need me.
It's when he calls me a 'girls petticoat' or a 'simple minded idiot', when he tells me that i must have a mental affliction that really gets me because, yes, I'm clumsy and not always the brightest and i care for things sometimes more than i should but that's who i am. Does he really just want me to change everything? I'm starting too, I'm trying to be stronger, trying to be more of a man but it hasn't changed anything in concern to Arthur. I want him to know that I'm trying to change for him, that whatever he wants me to do i will try to do but i know he won't understand, and then all my change would be for nothing. So I've left him to notice my change by himself. It's been a while now and he still hasn't noticed how I've changed for him, it's like he see's straight through me, I'm just another servant in the hallway.
I've lost everything for this destiny that has been thrust upon me. I've lost my childhood best friend, I've lost Lancelot, I've lost my first and last true love, I've lost my father and almost lost Gaius, I live for him, i look to no one but him, i listen to no one but him, I show my loyalty to no one but him and i wait for no one but him but still he does not notice. Still he looks straight through me and pays me no attention. I know he can see how much i depend on him and how much i care, i know he does, I just don't know why he doesn't care for me.
A/N so i think that was slightly more dramatic and deeper than my other one shots but i quite like how it turned out, so please leave a review, i love to hear what you think