DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CSI:NY OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS. I DO HOWEVER OWN SAMANTHA FLACK AND ALL THE CRAZY FLACK KIDS.
A/N: THIS IS A FUTURE CHAPTER. THE MUSE HAS BEEN AFTER ME FOR A WHILE TO WRITE IT. I KNOW THIS IS TWO CHAPS CLOSE TOGETHER, BUT I AM GOING AWAY FOR A COUPLE DAYS AND WANTED TO HAMMER ANOTHER ONE OUT. SO ENJOY!
This chapter (specfically the last couple of sections) goes out to my DL gals laurzz and muchmadness
The loves of my life (aka Everybody Loves Crackers)
"It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may, I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all
All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mr. Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine."
-When You Say Nothing At All, Alison Krauss
Flack stood on the front porch and had a smoke while he watched a tearful Daria speed away from the house. He knew what would come next. It was inevitable. That kid would get home in the condition she was and offer up some explanation to her mother about what had happened - and more than likely not the whole truth, seeing as Daria had a reputation as being somewhat of a pathological liar- and Max would be calling up the house and going off half cocked about Flack mistreating her precious, innocent baby girl. Because Flack was the perpetual bad guy. The King Asshole in Max's eyes since he'd had her turfed back to being a uniform years ago. How he and Sam had ever fallen into a friendship with the woman remained somewhat of a mystery to Flack. He supposed it all started when Max and Rick hooked up and invited Sam and her better half on a double date.
Flack had looked at his wife as if she needed to be committed that night many years ago when he'd come home and she'd announced they were going out on a date the following evening. It wasn't the idea of a nice dinner out with his wife that had surprised him. Hell, any alone time with her was welcome. It was when she ever so smoothly snuck it into the conversation that they would be having another couple join them. And when she said Max and Rick Santucci, Flack was pretty sure she'd lost it and that hell had frozen over and that Rick Santucci had gone completely insane despite repeated warnings to keep his distance from Max. Not to safe her from harm. But to spare him of a life of suffering and misery.
Harsh, maybe. Quite frankly, once Rick had proposed after only six weeks of dating, Flack had all but washed his hands of the whole thing. Rick was a recovering alcoholic and Max was a woman with an apparent heart of stone and an unusual obsession with thinking she had to be around her kid twenty four seven. She couldn't seem to function or exist if Daria was permanently attached to her hip. While most mothers relished time away from their children, Max clung to that kid like the girl was her personal life preserver. It was unhealthy and unnatural. No one needed to be around their kid that much.
"Some people are different, Donnie," Sam had said when he'd complained to her about how Max's behaviour was screwing her kid up beyond repair. "If she wants Daria to be clingy to mommy forever and be a miserable, bitter, old and grey lady with sixty cats, that's her business."
Flack had noticed, in the years that they'd been somewhat friends with Max and her family, that Daria never seemed to have a boyfriend. It struck him as odd because here she was, an incredibly attractive young woman with a somewhat decent head on her shoulders and he would have thought there'd be guys lining up around the block like there was for his girls and they were just turning fourteen in a matter of months. Now he realized, after Kieran's confession, that the reason he never saw her with a guy was because she obviously wasn't into guys her age. She was too busy trolling the playgrounds and the barely into high school set for a hook up. Apparently, she didn't just possess half of Dean Truby's DNA. He had also passed down his astonishingly poor morals and his ability to make the most possible choices without the smallest shred of regret or remorse for the consequences or the people he messed up along the way.
The apple does not fall far from the tree, Flack thought, as he finished his cigarette and butted it out before dropping it into the rusted old coffee can on the ground by the front door. Gathering up his briefcase and the box of files he'd sat on the porch, he yanked open the screen door and stepped into the house. He had just gotten his shoes kicked off when he heard a loud crash in the kitchen and the shattering of glass followed by a blood curdling scream that belonged to his wife. Followed by his oldest son's calm, soothing voice.
"Mommy…it's okay…just calm down…"
"Get it out of here, K!" she shrieked. "Get it out of here!!"
"Mom…take it easy…it's not a big deal."
"Yes! Yes it is!" she cried. "Please! Just get rid of it!"
Flack was out of the foyer and through the living room and down the hall in record time. He paused in the doorway to the kitchen, baffled by the sight of the shattered pile of glasses and dishes on the floor. And the sight of his wife clinging in panic to the front of their oldest son's shirt, her face buried in Kieran's chest. He towered over his mother's petite frame and had both arms wrapped securely and protectively around her while he attempted to comfort her. Her entire body shook and Flack could scarcely hear the sobs that were muffled by his son's shirt.
"What in the hell is going on in here?" Flack asked.
"Mom got scared," Kieran replied.
"Of what?" his father inquired.
Kieran nodded in the direction of the kitchen table. On top of which, locked securely in it's cage, was a tiny ginger coloured dwarf hamster busying himself digging in the shavings that lined the bottom of its 'house'. A water bottle was attached to one side and in the cage itself was a small metal wheel and a bowl of food.
"Please just get rid of it," Sam begged.
"Samantha, just calm down," Flack said.
"I can't!" she wailed, and prying herself away from her oldest child, turned to her husband with tears streaming down her face and pointed at the innocent hamster playing so happily on their table. "Donnie! There's a rodent in our house!"
"It's a hamster," he informed her.
"I don't care! I don't want it here! I don't want it in my house!"
"I think what we should be asking right about now is what the hell is it doing in our house?" Flack asked, and turned a stern glare at his son.
"Don't look at me," Kieran held his hands up in self defence. "I merely carried the little piece of vermin home. This is all Liam's doing. It's the class hamster. I guess each kid gets a chance to bring him home and this weekend was Liam's turn."
"Isn't there suppose to be some kind of permission slip signed for this sort of thing?" Flack asked.
"Liam sort of, kind of told a small white lie," Kieran reluctantly confessed.
"What kind of small white lie?" his father inquired.
"Just a little one," his son assured him, holding his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart to emphasis how small. "I guess he, uh…well when Mrs Davies mentioned to him that it was his turn to take Crackers home, she told him that he had to ask his parents. Well, Liam kinda told her you guys said it was okay."
"Liam never even mentioned it," Flack said.
"Yeah…I know. And I told him that you guys were going to be pissed. But he was nearly in tears when I refused at first to carry the cage all the way home. I couldn't disappoint him and I couldn't get back into the school where he would have been left all alone for the weekend and I couldn't just abandon the poor guy somewhere. So, here he is. Mom and dad, meet Crackers. Crackers, meet mom and dad."
"You realize you're starting to ramble and sound like your Uncle Adam more and more every day?" Flack asked his son. "And who in the hell names a hamster Crackers?"
"Beats me," Kieran said, shrugging his broad shoulders.
His son's body language and facial expressions often made Flack feel as if he were looking into a mirror and seeing himself. And this time was no exception. The way Kieran's blue eyes were fixated on that hamster and the way his eyebrows were arched and his forehead was wrinkled was a duplicate to the expression Flack himself often had worn during an interrogation when he suspected someone was bullshitting him.
"Is someone going to get rid of it!?" Sam wailed, clutching her oldest son once again.
"Take a pill, woman," Flack told her. "I can't believe you're behaving like this over a hamster."
He went to the kitchen table, snapped open the tiny door on the cage and reached in to scoop up the animal.
"Oh my God! Donnie, don't!" Sam shrieked. "Don't kill him! Don't crush him or snap his neck!"
"Why in the hell would I kill him?" Flack asked, taking the hamster from it's cage and cradling it gently in the palm of his hand. "Look at how cute he is."
"Cute!" she screeched. "He's not cute! Put him back!"
"Calm down, Sammie and I'll bring him over and you can touch him and see that he isn't anything you need to be scared of. That Clapper.."
"Crackers, dad," Kieran corrected. "His name is Crackers."
"That Crackers is harmless. He's just a dwarf hamster, Sammie," Flack told her as he slowly crossed the kitchen. "He isn't going to attack you and gouge your eyes out or gnaw your face off."
"Don't!" she cried and ducked behind her son. "Please don't bring it over here!"
"How in the hell does this tiny, little adorable thing scare you?" Flack asked. "You grew up in Crown Heights. A place that has rats the size of small terriers."
"Don't, Donnie…" she pleaded, in tears yet again as she hide behind Kieran. "Please…don't!"
"It's okay, mommy," Kieran assured her, and reaching behind him, laid a hand on her arm and gently drew her out in front of him. "Dad's not going to put him on your or anything. He just wants you to look at him."
"Promise you won't do anything bad," Sam sniffled, turning her terrified golden eyes on her husband.
"I promise you," he said. "You okay?"
She nodded.
"Here," he said, and went to drop the hamster on her shoulder.
"Donnie!" she screamed in horror and backed away. "You promised!"
"I'm sorry," he attempted, and failed, to hide his chuckle or his humour at the whole situation. "Here…" he held out his hand to show her the hamster. "It's okay…just touch him."
She shook her head vigorously.
"He's not going to hurt you," Flack assured her, speaking calmly and soothingly. Taking another step towards her.
She backed up even more.
"If Kieran held him would you feel better?" Flack asked. "If he promises not to toss the thing at you would that be okay?"
She nodded.
Kieran stretched out his hand, palm up, and Flack placed the tiny creature in it. "Here, mom," he said, and turned to Sam, the hamster trembling and sniffing at his hand. "See? He's not going to hurt you. He's just a baby."
Flack watched the moment between mother and son. The unbelievable trust and respect that existed between the two of them. The soft, soothing and patient tone in Kieran's voice. The understanding in those bright blue eyes, the way he looked at his mother with so much love and adoration. How he was able to calm her to the point she took a tentative step towards him and looked up at him. Kieran nodded. A silent reassurance passed from him to her. And she reached out, her hand shaking, and tenderly stroked the tiny animal.
He was yet again taken back by the bond that existed between them. It hadn't come easily to Sam. That undying love and devotion that so many mothers professed they felt for their babies the moment they were born had taken longer to come to her. She had felt guilty and increasingly frustrated that she didn't feel that way. Scared that it made her a bad mother because while she loved her new son, he had seemed like a complete stranger to her and that she didn't know how to get to know him better.
Things didn't 'click' easily for them. Once the baby had come home he fussed endlessly whenever his mother tried to tend to him and refused to latch on to the breast no matter how hard Sam tried to encourage him. A lactation consultant and a baby nurse had come in to check on things and had helped ease some of her stress. But it wasn't until she got rid of her fear and uneasiness of being left alone with her son, that she was able to relax and the baby, perhaps sensing the release of tension between him and his mother, began to thrive and bond with her. And she with him.
And maybe it was because he had always been the one to work the extra hours and leave his wife alone with Kieran -all the kids for that matter- and for longer periods of time, or maybe it had to do with their separation and how she had been forced to become mother and father while he was relegated to visits whenever he could get the chance. But Sam and Kieran would always be closer than he could ever hope to be with his oldest child. And it broke his heart to realize that his son wouldn't look up to him and love him the same way he did his mother.
He only had himself to blame for that. But he vowed, standing there, watching the love of his life and his first born child, that he would do whatever it took to make things up to his boy.
The sliding door that led from the kitchen to the walk out deck slid open and Liam came bursting through. A navy blue bath towel wrapped around his slight frame and his hair wet and sticking up every which way. Water dripped off his face and down his legs and left a trail across the linoleum floor of the kitchen.
"Hi daddy, hi mommy," he chirped and simply hurried past.
"Whoa," Flack caught his youngest before Liam could get any further, stepping in front of him to block the way. "Where you going little man?"
"I gotta go to the bathroom," he said.
"You should have dried yourself off before running in here and leaving water all over the kitchen floor. You going to help your mom clean it up?"
"No," Liam answered honestly.
Flack arched both eyebrows and stared down at his son.
"Yes," the little boy quickly changed his tune. "But I didn't have time to dry off, daddy!" he exclaimed. "'Cause I got to pee so bad!"
"You go into the little bathroom down here. Don't be going upstairs and making an even bigger mess on your mom's carpet or she's going to blow a gasket and you don't want that, right?"
Liam didn't respond.
"Right?" Flack pressed.
"Right…I really gotta take a leak, daddy!" he cried, clenching his legs together. "And I hate the small bathroom! I can't stand pink! How does a guy take a leak with pink walls?"
"Liam…" Flack warned.
"Alright…alright. I'm going…" the little boy huffed and hurried out of the kitchen and down the hall to the small bathroom located by the stairs that led to the basement.
"When you're done I want you to dry yourself off, and upstairs in your room putting on clean clothes," Flack called after him. "You hear me?"
"Yeah…yeah…I hear you," Liam responded and slammed the bathroom door.
"He's a mouthy little shit, dad," Kieran declared, as Sam, with the hamster now in her own cupped palms, bonded with the tiny animal while Kieran got the broom and dust pan to clean up the shards of glass.
"I wonder who it gets that from," Flack shot his oldest son a pointed glare. "I'm telling you right now, Kieran, you start watching your mouth around here because there's no way a kid his age is saying that stuff unless he's picking it up somewhere. So watch it, understand?"
Kieran didn't answer.
"Kieran!" Flack snapped.
The fifteen year old glanced up from his sweeping.
"Do you understand?" Flack asked.
"I didn't catch all of what you said," he admitted sheepishly.
"What's wrong with you? Are you deaf or something?"
"You know sometimes I can't hear properly," his son responded. "And that I can understand better when you and mom are looking right at me when you guys talk so I can see your lips moving. How long's it been that way?"
"Don't be smart, Kieran," Sam said, and carried the hamster across the kitchen and deposited it into it's cage and shut and locked the door. "Don't talk to your father like that."
"He knows, mom. About my hearing and he still calls me names."
"I wasn't calling you names," Flack informed him. "But I get a little pissed when it seems like you either aren't paying attention or you don't give a shit. You have issues hearing, than you look at me when I'm talking to you. Better yet, your mother is going to call the audiologist and get you a hearing test. You haven't had one in a few years so I'd say you're just about due."
Kieran sighed. "What if they say I need a hearing aid again? Like when I was a kid?"
"Than you get one and you wear it," his father told him. "And who says you're going to need one? You might just have fluid in there and need the tubes put back in."
"Again? Dad, I've had those things done nearly every year since I was a year old until I was twelve."
"You want to be able to hear or what?" Flack asked.
"I'll never be able to get into the academy if I have tubes in my ears or a damn hearing aide," Kieran huffed.
"Jesus Christ not this crap again," Flack complained.
"Donnie…leave him alone," Sam defended her son. "The academy won't look down on you for having tubes or wearing a hearing aid," she assured Kieran.
"Don't encourage him," Flack told her.
"I am going to encourage him!" Sam argued. "Because if that's what he wants to do than you need to accept it and back the hell off of him! Shit, you'd think you'd be happy he isn't out smoking pot or stealing cars and who knows what other crap like some of his friends are doing. If he wants to be a cop that's his business! Not yours!"
Flack snorted and shook his head. "You're both fucked up. Like mother like son, I guess, " he muttered and stalked out of the kitchen.
"Asshole," Sam grumbled. She looked across the kitchen at her son, who was grinning at her.
"I know what you just said, mom," Kieran said.
"How'd you hear me say that if you couldn't hear your dad talking right next to you?"
"I didn't hear you. I read your lips. And you're right, he is one sometimes. A big one."
"He's your father, Kieran. My husband. And I don't want you talking about him like that. He's sacrificed a lot to give you and your brothers and sisters everything he possibly could. And he's put up with a lot from all of us. So you need to show him a little more respect. Okay?"
Kieran nodded.
"And he's really stressed out over your grandfather," Sam added. "So please cut him some slack. And lay off this academy stuff with him. He's not ready to hear you talking about life plans like that. If you know it bothers him, why do you insist on talking about it?"
"I don't know…"
"If you want to talk about it, I am more than willing to discuss it with you. But please, please lay off your dad. He had a lot on his plate right now."
"Grandpa's really sick?"
Sam nodded.
"Like dying sick?"
She ignored the question and turned around the picked up the hamster cage. "Can you please take this and put it in the basement until Liam decides what he wants to do with it?"
The fifteen year old nodded and picked up the dust pan and carried it to the sink. He opened up the cupboard underneath and dumped the pieces of glass into the garbage can inside. Putting the broom and dust pan back into the pantry, he walked over to his mother and took the cage from her.
"Thanks, mommy," he said, and kissed her cheek.
"For what?" she asked.
"Just being you," he replied. "'Cause you've always had my back against dad when I've needed it."
"Your father loves you, Kieran. And I'm sorry he doesn't say it or show it as often as he should. When you were a baby he was so different. He couldn't get enough of you. He was always holding you and kissing you and touching your face and your hair and telling you stories."
"The legend of the Land of Tiern A Nog," Kieran said.
Sam smiled. "You remember that?"
"Dad used to tell me that story all the time. I loved it. Than all of a sudden, I turned ten and it all stopped. Why? Why is he like that?"
"I don't know," she admitted sadly. "But don't give up on him, Kieran. He's never given up on you. On any of us. Especially me."
"He loves you, mom. You're his entire life."
"We're his entire life," Sam corrected him. "Now please put that thing downstairs and than maybe you can help me start some supper? Uncle Danny and Aunt Linds will be here in an hour and than we're all walking over to the park for Mikayla's soccer game."
"Auntie Montanie," Kieran said with a grin.
"She'd kill you if she heard you call her that. Only Liam is allowed to call her that."
"That's because Liam is her favourite," Kieran reasoned. "If she loves him that much do you think she can take him? Like for good?"
Sam grinned. "Downstairs, please."
"Still say you and dad should have stopped at one," Kieran declared and headed from the kitchen.
"Tell me why you lied, Liam," Flack said, as he and his seven year old son sat on the edge of the little boy's bed.
"I didn't lie to you, daddy," Liam responded, eyes downcast as he fiddled with a loose thread on the comforter below them. Black and emblazoned with all the NHL teams logos.
"But you lied to Mrs Davies," Flack told him. "You told her that your mom and I said it was okay that you brought the hamster home."
"Crackers," Liam informed his father.
"I don't care what his name is, Liam," Flack said. "What I care about is that you didn't ask your mom and I if you could bring the hamster home and than you went and lied to your teacher and said that we told you it was okay. You remember what I told you about lying?"
"That it's not nice," Liam responded.
"And?" Flack pressed.
"And that you don't like liars because you can't trust them."
"Exactly. And I don't think you want me not trusting you, do you?"
Liam shook his head.
"Why did you lie to Mrs Davies?" Flack asked once again.
The little boy shrugged. "I don't know…I just did."
"Why didn't you ask your mom or me if it was okay to bring the hamster home?"
Another shrug.
Flack sighed. Who would have thought talking to his seven year old son would turn into one of the toughest interrogations he'd ever face.
"Did you think maybe mommy or I would say no?" he asked, taking a different direction in his quest for an explanation.
"I know mommy doesn't like mice," Liam replied. "And hamster's kinda look like mice."
"So you were afraid your mom was going to say no?"
Liam nodded.
"You know that your mom wouldn't have been so upset about the whole thing if you had have just asked her, don't you? And that she wouldn't have said no as long as you promised to clean up after the thing and make sure it had food and water. You know all of that right?"
"No…"
"You didn't give your mom a chance to say yes or no. And you should have given her that chance. Because now she's mad when before she would have been okay with it. Understand what I'm saying?"
"Yeah. Are you mad, daddy?" he asked, turning tear filled golden eyes up at his father.
"I'm mad, Liam," he replied honestly.
"I'm sorry, daddy," Liam's lower lip wobbled as he struggled not to cry. "I didn't mean to lie. Honest! My brain couldn't control my mouth!"
"And that's another thing," Flack said. "I know you're hearing Kieran say a lot of stuff. But I don't want you repeating it, okay? Because Kieran's a big boy and says big boy things and you're a little boy that shouldn't be talking like that. Alright?"
Liam nodded.
"Don't lie to Mrs Davies ever again," Flack told him. "Or to me or your mommy. Or anyone else for that matter. Understand?"
"I understand, daddy," Liam said, and broke down into tears.
Flack's heart broke at the sight of his little son crying. But he remained firm and serious and instead of speaking, reached out and pulled the tiny trembling body into his arms. He said nothing as he stroked his son's fine hair with one hand and his back with the other.
"I want you to go and wash your face and clean yourself up," Flack told his son, pulling away after several minutes. "Than I want you to go and say sorry to your mom. Okay?"
"Okay," Liam sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "I love you, daddy."
"I love you, too," Flack told him, and standing at the side of his bed, took his son's face in his hands and pressed a kiss to the top of Liam's head. "Before supper I want you to clean your room up," he instructed as he headed for the door.
"Does mommy hate me?" Liam asked through his tears.
"Your mommy could never hate you," Flack replied.
Me I'm not so sure about, he thought as he exited the room.
Flack didn't know what to make of the new girl hanging around his oldest daughters.
Alessa seemed like an alright kid. She was bubbly and seemed to have a good head on her shoulders and was showing more patience and tolerance for Declan than most people three times her age. She didn't treat him like he was any different. She listened intently to when he spoke, and instead of interrupting him by saying she didn't understand or by seeking someone out to explain what he was talking about, she simply kept quiet and did her own interpreting. One thing about Declan, if you didn't get it, he repeated it until you did. The kid was tenacious. Definitely a trait he'd picked up from his mother.
This Alessa kid was polite. When Reghan had introduced her, Alessa had shook both of their hands warmly and called them Mr and Mrs Flack as opposed to the simple 'Hey' they usually got when their kids brought home new friends. And that was often. Reghan and Alannah seemed to attract just about anyone. Kids flocked to them and clung to them and followed them home like stray animals did to other people. Unlike the other young teens who did little more than hang out and eat them out of house and home, Alessa made polite small talk. From the weather to the Flacks' big family to their individual jobs. There was nothing that didn't interest her. And she followed Sam around like a lost puppy. Asking what jobs she could do to help make the dinner preparations easier and less of a hassle.
It just wasn't normal. Flack had decided that the moment the kid had started her 'mommy's little helper' gig. And as he stood at the barbecue on the deck, grilling hamburgers and hotdogs for supper, he kept one eye on Liam and Mikayla setting the nearby table with plastic cups and cutlery and paper plates and the other on the new girl that was giggling and doing a little too much flirting -as far as Flack was concerned- with Kieran as the fifteen year old kicked around a soccer ball with Declan.
"Whose that?" Danny asked, nodding in Alessa's direction, as he suddenly appeared at his best friend's side, beer in hand.
"Her name's Alessa," Flack replied, picking up a can of Coke that sat on the railing of the deck and taking a sip. "Lanni and Reggie brought her home from school today. Apparently they're new BFFs."
"Until they all decide they like the same boy and stab each other in the back," Danny concluded. "Which is so what's going on in my house at the moment."
"Hey, Uncle Don!" Aiden called as he bounded out of the house and across the deck and down the stairs to join his best friend on the lawn.
Aiden Messer was his father's son in the same way Kieran Flack was his father's boy. A spitting image of Danny. From the slender yet well toned build and the short, spiky blond hair that Danny had once sported to the blue eyes and thin wire framed glasses.
"So what were you moaning about?" Flack asked, flipping burgers as he watched the introductions taking place in middle of the yard.
"My daughter. All of eleven and she's having boy problems," Danny sighed.
"Join the club, Mess. Mikki just got passed over by some guy whose father's a defence attorney."
"What a moron," Danny declared. "I mean, our girls are still babies, Flack! Babies and they're interested in boys already! What is up with that?"
"Be thankful they're just interested in them and not doing other things in the school bathroom," Flack responded. "'Cause some of the things I have been hearing lately about kids that young getting and giving oral sex…"
"At eleven?" Danny looked mortified.
"Younger, even. Damn scary if you ask me. Last thing I want is Mikki getting caught doing anything like that. And you know what happened last week? Did I tell you?"
Danny shook his head and took a swig of beer.
"Reghan informs her mother she wants to go on the pill."
The CSI nearly spit his beer out.
"Yeah…my reaction exactly," Flack said. "Sam told me and I nearly went ballistic. After I fainted, of course. She's only thirteen! Thirteen and she wants to go on the pill for Christ sakes! And my wife agrees with it and makes an appointment for her! An appointment to put my thirteen year old daughter on birth control!"
"She have a reason?" Danny asked.
"Sam gave me this bullshit excuse about how it will regulate Reggie's periods because they're all screwed up like Sam's have been all her life. Honestly, I don't buy that crap for a second. 'Cause I know there's a boy she's interested in and I'm pretty sure he's somewhat experienced and might be getting her into things."
"Whose the guy?" Danny inquired. "I'll go tune him up."
Flack looked at his best friend with a grin on his face and than looked out at the yard. And directly at Danny's son.
"Get outta here," Danny laughed and brushed off the suggestion. "My son is not messing around with your daughter."
"Yeah? You sure? 'Cause she all but told me she has a thing for him."
"Really? She's into my boy? Pretty girl like her? That could be interesting. My son and your daughter."
"Never gonna happen," Flack informed him.
"Why not?"
"Because he's your son. And I've known you a long time and I know he's just like you. And no offence, but the second coming of Danny Messer around my daughter? I don't think so."
"I don't see it as such a bad thing," Danny said with a shrug.
"I find out your kid isn't keeping it in his pants, Dan-o, and I'm castrating him myself. Understand me?"
Danny held up his hands in self defence. "Ask me," he said. "Looks like it's your boy you should be worried about. He's looking mighty cozy with that new girl."
"Don't worry," Flack told his best friend. "I've got my eye on that new girl."
"What are you bitching about?" Sam asked, catching the end of the conversation as she stepped out onto the deck in her bare feet.
They had done their proverbial kiss and make up. Heavy on the kissing. She was out of her work garb and now wearing a pair of baggy olive green cargo pants and a simple white tank top. And carrying three year old Danny Messer Jr on her hip.
"Your horn dog son trying to get into the new girl's pants," Danny replied.
"She's a very nice girl," Sam informed him.
"Miss Goody Two shoes with her Park Avenue address and her lunches delivered by a chauffeur driving a Bentley," Flack declared.
"Be nice," Sam scolded. "By the way," she said, and helped herself to a handful of Tostitos in a bowl on the nearby table. "I've made a decision."
"What's what?" Flack asked, sipping his pop. "You want a divorce?"
"You couldn't afford to divorce me," she replied. "Want to hear what my decision is?"
"Enlighten me," Flack said.
"Bend down for a second. I don't want Danny to hear."
Flack humoured his wife and lowered himself to her level.
She cupped a hand around his ear and whispered into it.
His face went white, his eyes widened.
"Did you catch that?" Sam asked, pecking his cheek before he straightened himself up.
He nodded slowly.
"Do I get an answer?" she inquired.
"Other than I think you're fucking nuts?"
She frowned.
"We'll talk about it," he told her and kissed her softly before she disappeared back into the couch.
"What was that all about?" Danny asked curiously.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, Mess," his best friend replied.
"Try me," the CSI said.
Flack just smiled.
But all he could think was one thing:
Holy shit she wants another baby.
"So how do you do it?" Lindsay asked.
She and Sam were at the park behind Archbishop Malloy, the co-ed Catholic high school that their oldest children attended together. Across a wide expanse of grass was the football and soccer fields. While Danny and Flack and Declan watched Mikayla playing soccer, the two wives found themselves at the playground with the rest of their broods. Aiden and Kieran were hanging out by one of the portables with Alessa, Reghan and Alannah while Liam was on the swing Sam was currently pushing as high as she possibly could while Lindsay tended to Danny Jr in the baby swing several feet away.
"Do what?" Sam responded with a question of her own.
"Keep Flack in line," Lindsay replied.
The petite brunette laughed. "I don't do anything," she said. "He merely tows the line."
"But how do you make sure he does that? That he keeps himself grounded and where he should be? You two have been together for sixteen years. Married for fifteen and a bit. How do you keep him where he is?"
Sam thought about it. "Well," she said at last. "I put the fear of God into him for one. And two, we have six kids. Can you imagine the amount of child support that man would have to pay? It would be staggering. He couldn't afford it and he knows it and that alone is enough to scare him into behaving."
Lindsay managed small laugh.
"Seriously, I like to think he stays where he is because he's happy," Sam told her friend. "Because he loves me and his kids. Because he wants to grow old and grey with me. Because he knows that no other woman in this world can do the things for him that I can and love him the way I do."
Lindsay sighed. "God I hope you're right," she said.
"Where is all this coming from?" Sam inquired. "You and Danny okay?"
"Yeah…I mean…I guess…I think so."
Sam frowned.
"We're okay," Lindsay confirmed. "But we're not great."
"What's going on?" Sam asked stopping the swing, as Liam requested to be let off in favour of playing on the slides and monkey bars. She took a seat on the swing instead, facing where Liam was now busying himself.
"I just think that Danny and I could be a lot better," Lindsay confessed.
"Okay…"
"He's not like Flack," Lindsay told her friend. "Flack is grounded. He knows what he wants and where he wants to be. Danny is more free and easy and not willing to settle down completely despite the rings on our fingers and the baby we created together and the fact I took in his two kids. I mean, it feels like he's with me but not totally with me. Does that make sense?"
"I used to feel that way about Don. When we first got together. Right before we found out I was having Kieran."
"Seriously?"
The brunette nodded. "All the time. I used to feel that I was head over heels in love with him and didn't know how he was feeling. That I was so willing to give myself completely and he was holding most of himself back. He cheated on me once."
Lindsay's eyes widened. "After you were married?"
"Way before. When we were seeing each other," Sam made air quotes around the words seeing each other.
"Whoa…that I didn't expect to hear. He actually told you about it?"
"Yep. He 'fessed up. And I thought more of him for having the balls to tell me than I hated him for doing it. We weren't that far into the relationship and neither of us knew what we wanted yet. I was still reeling from the whole Zack disaster and Don had just broken up with Devon. Who, I might add, was the one he cheated on me with."
Lindsay groaned. "Yuck…stuck up rich bitch or what."
"I got over it. I think his honesty made things between us stronger and made us realize how much we did care about one another. As weird as that sounds."
"Have you ever felt since than that he's cheated on you?"
"Once or twice," Sam admitted. "But I don't think he actually did. I think he knows he stands to lose too much if he ever even considered it."
"Have you ever been tempted to cheat on him?"
Sam gave a small smile. "Once. About three years after we got married. With Chester Lake."
"Your ex boyfriend you told me about? Who ended up working for Flack? The one who was killed in the line of duty five years ago?"
Sam nodded. "I had my chance. I almost took it. But I couldn't in the end. Because I just love my husband too much to face life without him."
"Wow," Lindsay said. For the lack of anything better.
"You ever think Danny's cheating on you?" Sam asked.
Lindsay shook her head.
"And what about you? Would you ever cheat on him?"
"I spent way too many years apart and missing him and loving him every day to ever mess around," Lindsay said. "I've had guys I could have with. But I never did."
"Sounds like we all have skeletons in our closet," Sam sighed.
"And that we all need to bury them," Lindsay said.
"Tell me how you do it, Flack," Danny said, as he leaned back on his elbows as he stretched out beside his best friend on the grass.
"Do what?" Flack asked, as he kept one eye on Declan acting as snack and drink boy for Mikayla's soccer team, and another on his eleven year old daughter kicking ass on the field.
"Your marriage," Danny replied. "How you keep it together?"
"I don't know," Flack said, as he removed his sunglasses and cleaned them on the front of his t-shirt before slipping them on once again. "I don't think about how. I just do it."
"Been fifteen plus years for you and Brooklyn," Danny told his friend. "That's a long ass time."
His best friend nodded. "It is," he agreed. "But Sam and I don't sit down and make a game plan on how we're going to get through year to year. We just get through. We love each other. We love our kids. We love our life. Plain and simple."
"But there's gotta be a secret," Danny argued. "Something in your bag of tricks. Because you guys do love each other. Probably more now than you did fifteen years ago. And you and Brooklyn are happy despite all the shit you guys have been through. So there must be something you do to keep that even keel."
"I don't know what you want me to say, Dan-o. I just take my marriage day by day. Honestly, some days I'm shocked I've been married this long. Five more years and it's two decades. How fucking surreal is that?"
"Pretty crazy," Danny agreed.
"I've learned a lot, I guess," Flack said. "I've learned to never leave the house without telling my wife I love her. I've learned never to let either of us go to bed angry. I've learned that it's never goodbye. It's see you in a bit or see you later. And I've learned that I'm a good person and a good father and a damn good husband."
Danny smiled.
"I've learned that I don't have to be perfect so I gave up trying. I've learned that my wife isn't a possession and she deserves to be treated like an equal. And most of all, I've learned that I love her more than anything in this world and that I'd lay down my life for her in a heart beat."
Danny nodded slowly. "I'm proud of you, Don. For the way you turned out. Husband, father to six kids. An NYPD inspector. Who would have ever thought Donnie Flack Jr would be part of the big brass."
"Whoever thought you'd be second in command at the crime lab and married to Lindsay Monroe," Flack said.
"True…very true. That was the last thing I ever expected. For her to give me another chance. Not just with her, but with life itself. And she gave me a son. And I love all my kids and you now that. But Daniel…" he shook his head and fought tears. "He's my heart, Flack."
"I know. And you see that boy over there," he nodded in Declan's direction.
Danny nodded.
"He's mine. Despite the doubts I had and the things I may have said about him when he was a baby."
"You were shocked, Flack. We all were. You were shocked and you were hurt and you lashed out. That's normal. And I admire you for stepping up and loving that kid when lesser men like me would have bailed when they got news like that. Your boy is special. And I mean that with respect. He's special and you love him."
"I'd defend that kid to the death, Danny. All my kids. But he relies on me more to do it. And you know what? That's okay. You think I don't see the way people stare at him? Notice that they're whispering behind my back? You don't think that hurts?"
"I know it does. I've been the one there for you through all of that."
"I accepted him and loved him in the end because of my wife," Flack said. "Because in the end, after she got over her shock and her grief and she was able to accept him, so was I. Because I knew if we did it together, we could get through anything. And we did. Thirteen years and counting. And I love that kid to the ends of this earth."
"Acceptance and love," Danny concluded. "That can get us through anything."
"I like to think so," Flack sighed. "Not that it isn't hard. 'Cause trust me, there's days where I don't know how in the hell I'll ever survive. And you know what gets me through to the next day? And the one after that?"
Danny shook his head.
"My wife. She's always been there. Through thick and thin. I've shit on her time and time again and she still sticks around. She's the love of my life, Dan-o. Just like Lindsay is yours. So whatever shit you're putting her through or whatever is going on between you do, knock it off and realize she's the best thing that's ever happened to you. She's your Montana. Just like Sammie's my Brooklyn."
The CSI smiled. "Feel like I should be stretched out on the couch and paying you an hourly rate," he quipped.
"You kidding? Me and my issues? I'm the last one that should be giving advice. Trust me."
"But you're dying to give it and I know you are," Danny grinned.
"Love her, Danny. No matter what. For better or for worse, for richer or poorer. In sickness and in health and all that other crap. Because when it's all said and done and your end gets here, that's going to be the woman that holds your hand and sees you to the bitter end. And when that happens, with me and Sam.." Flack sighed. "..and trust me I hope to God, I go before she does 'cause I don't think I could take life without her, I'm going to be up there waiting for her. 'Cause nothing can keep me from her."
Danny sat silently and considered his best friend's heartfelt words. "She's my everything, Flack," he said at long last. "Montana…she's my everything."
"Yeah? Than you best be telling her that before she starts second guessing it. Because I nearly made that mistake once and I don't want to see that happen to you. Understand me?"
"Absolutely," Danny responded. "How much longer you think? That either of us have with our wives in this life."
"I don't know," Flack sighed. "But I sure as hell wish it was forever."
"Nothing's forever," Danny reminded him.
"So than until she can't stand me anymore and finds someone else," Flack said. "I don't know how much longer. But what I do now, is that my daughter is out there handing kids' their asses and you're here yakking my ear of preventing me from watching her. And if I don't watch, she'll hand me my ass later and never let me live it down."
Danny looked out at the soccer field. "You're a damn good man, Donald Flack Jr," he informed his best friend. "Never thought I'd see you as soccer dad and a hockey dad. But you're a damn good man nonetheless."
A broad grin spread across Flack's face.
"A damn good woman will do that to you," he said.
Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing! Much appreciated! And thanks to all the lurkers. And I know there's lots of you. Please feel free to R and R if you are enjoying this folks!!
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