Author's note:

Yaaay! 13th chapter! *le;gasp* Ack! Unlucky numbeer! *sulks in emo corner* *gloom* Ah well. I just realized that Midori's way too out of character in the bonus chapters. Yea just realized. I know, you may be thinking, (especially you Carl. I don't know if you're reading or not.) "How can she be stupid not to notice!" Oh well, Enjoy! :3

Disclaimer!

Le;me: MIDORII! GET YOUR BUTT HERE!

Midori: Uh... Ryoka-san doesn't own Naruto.

Le;me: HAAAAALT! What else? *raises brow*

Midori: Uh... Only me..?

Le;me: Don't be stupid. I own NEKO-CHAN!.. And you...

Midori: HEY!

Le;me: Please. Itachi owns you.. partially. Ayway.. Sorry for blabbing! ONWAAARDS!

Tick tock...

tick tock...

I sighed grumpily as I sat at the sofa set inside the living room while glaring at the stupid clock. It's just 15 minutes past 12:00 and we just finished lunch. But I'm already extremely bored. Guess I'm ADHD, huh?

It's sooo infuriatingly boring that I already had a pep talk with a carrot, played go fish with Kisame's new pet turtle (who just stared at me blankly and started nibbling on my cloak instead) and had a glaring contest with a clock.

Then suddenly, I heard fotsteps behind me. (No Midori, ABOVE you.)

"You showed Hidan pretty good. Where'd you put him, hmm?"

I didn't even need to look at the person to know who it was. Deidara sat next to me, sculpting a.. what? A dung beetle or something?

I rolled my eyes. "Hey Dei. Of course I showed him pretty good. And to answer your question. The fridge." I replied as I drummed my fingers on the chair, creating a dum dee dum rhythm.

He looked up at me in horror and dropped his tiny sculpture. "WHAT?! The fridge, hmm?! Holy Gods of shinobis, yea. Don't tell me you just cooked Hidan and made us ate him! Him of all people, un!" Deidara made a face and gagged.

I inspected my nails for non-existent dirt. "I dunno. What gave you that idea? But.. Maybe yes, maybe no. Oh, wait, wait. I think it's a no. Or.. no. It's definitely a yes. Soo, yea. I cooked him." I nodded vigorously and gave him the thumbs up.

Deidara is turning an impossible shade of green by now. "No.. Ugh... I-I... F-feel.. I'll..."

Before he can even finish, his hand flew towards his mouth and he ran towards the nearest bathroom and threw up. When he came back, I'm laughing so hard that I'm literally rolling on the floor.

I pointed at him. "Deidara... you.. look.. hilarious.. Your.. green!" I laughed so hard that it hurts to breath.

Deidara glared at me. "It's not funny, yea."

I smirked and lay down the floor, snow angel style. "To you it isn't. And you just said 'yea'. So it is."

He growled at me. "And why is that?"

"Because I said so blondie. Now, just shut the f**k up."

He sat on the sofa and glared at me, but he still looked a lot green, so it pretty much ruined the wanted effect. I stood up slowly and sat down next to him while holding back snorts and giggles.

"Look, I didn't really cooked Hidan. Well, almost-" Deidara looked at me, panicked.

I raised my hands defensively "But, but I didn't. Well, a few scraps maybe-"

Deidara stood up and stomped his foot on the ground. "What do you mean a few scraps, hmm?!"

I ignored him completely. Well, being able to ignore him is quite a feat. Call it a... Special talent. "-but, I didn't. So, get over it already and stop acting and whining like a big baby."

When he finally calmed down, he sculpted a clay bird, sent it flying to Hidan's direction, (who BTW just entered the room with fresh stitches. Kakuzu just sew him back a while ago.), and made it explode. Hidan's head got severed and was sent flying down the corridors while yelling.

"F**k you Deidaraaa!"

Then we heard a thump, and two different strings of curses, and a huge surge of water that sounds a lot like Kisame's Great shark bullet technique.

I rolled my eyes at Deidara, which he didn't notice, or he just didn't care. "So.. what now, un?"

I shrugged as I pulled a list from my pocket. "Dunno. Well, but.. actually, I think I have an idea."

6. Make Sasori watch a certain movie.

"Hey Sasori." I said as I poked his cheek for the tenth time. "Can we watch a movie?"

No response.

"Hey Sasoriii~" I sang and poked his cheek harder. He turned to glare at me, but I completely ignored him. I'm too mystified how he have such soft cheeks. I mean, he's a puppet right? Right.

"Pweaase... Can we watch a movie? Pretty please?" I poked his arm repeatedly with a slight pout on my lips. (No, your hand. Well, unless your Deidara... So, I guess that will work.)

He shot me a death glare. "And what makes you think I'll do that. Hmm, brat?"

I smirked and tapped my chin. "Well, it's either that or I'll poke you repeatedly. All. Day."

He growled at me. "You do know that if you do that, I can- No. I will kill you. Right brat?"

I shrugged. "Uh... Sorry, but no killing other members on the rules, right? And I'm a member. You should've done that on my entrance exams if you want to kill me oh so badly. Oh... Right, sorry. You're too busy getting beat up to think of that." I teased him with a vicious grin on my face and pulled out a large jar full of termites from.. uh.. somewhere. "So, whaddya say? It's either a stupid 2 hour movie, or an all day marathon of annoying poking with termite bonus!"

He seemed to ponder about this for a moment, and then he scowled at me. Which seems pretty normal. I mean, the guy could've probably been born with a scowl on his face! I'm just sayin'!

"Get the stupid movie brat. You know that I hate to be kept waiting." He growled, seeming to regret his decisions immediately.

I squealed like a little child. "Yay! Deidara! Get your ass in here!"

He came running towards the living room with a smirk on his face and gave me a knowing look. I nodded and played the movie while we sat on both sides of Sasori. Then, the movie started. And the title reads... Wait for it... Wait for it... Pinocchio! Yes people!

We (Deidara & I) watched the movie fake screaming and shouting and crying and sniffling at Sasori's ears. Especially when Pinocchio got eaten by a whale. We started shouting in hysterics so loud, that Kisame even walked in with Samehada with him once. Ready to take on any challenge. But, apparently, he got knocked out by an apple I threw at him.

When the movie finished, Deidara and I were still fake sniffling and crying while Sasori is shaking from anger. "What. A. Stupid. Movie." Sasori mumbled with killing intent in his eyes. It looks like as if he want to slice the TV into cute, little ribbons.

He would have really done that if Kakuzu didn't casually made his way over to us, saw Sasori, picked up Hidan's fallen limb from Deidara's earlier explosion and went off to his merry way, but not before yelling. "Sasori! That TV will be 15,000 ryos!"

That made Sasori change his mind, so he vented his anger to a nearby plate instead and smashed his fist on it.

"300 ryos!" Kakuzu yelled from the hallway. Sasori just sighed and returned to his normal, bored look.

I smirked and made my way towads the puppeteer. "Sasori, don't you think poor Pino's life is a bit too tragic?"

No response.

"Sasori, can your nose grow long too?"

No response.

"Danna, did you also bury a bag full of gold coins when your young, hmm?"

No response.

"Sasori, will you also go to an island full of happy, clueless little boys?"

No response. Eyes twitching.

"Danna, have you seen Geppetto lately, yea?"

No response. Eyes twitching. Jaws clenching.

"Sasori, can you also turn to an ass- I mean, a donkey?"

No response. Eyes twitching. Jaws clenching. Hands balling into fists.

Silence.

I looked beside me to realize that Deidara is, in fact, gone. I wondered if he left me to the mercy of Sasori's murderous aura that is oozing out of him like... sweat? Well, seems legit.

Then suddenly, Deidara popped out of nowhere in full fairy gear. From wands, wings, dress and all. His hair is done in princess like curls and he's wearing a glittery pink tiara. His outfit is just so glittery and pink and full of sequins, that it radiates a glowing pink, sparkling light of doom that is enough to blind a couple dozen of very elite ninjas. Woe, ye all. The light of blinding punishment jutsu! Hey, I'm just sayin'!

"Sasori," Deidara spoke in a high-pitched, fluttery voice. "I'm your fairy godmother. I'm here to ask you a very important question, yea."

I face palmed. I know where the hell this is heading.

"So, Sasori my dearest child. Bleargh. Do you want to be a real boy, hmm?" Deidara said while throwing pink glitters above Sasori and waving his wand in the air.

But Sasori didn't reply. Instead, he pulled out his 3rd Kazekage puppet out of nowhere and glared at us. "Get. Out. Of. My. Sight. NOW."

Deidara smirked and pulled out a butterfly, and made it fly over to Sasori. "Okay, dear! But don't worry, un. Your fairy godmother is always here for you, yea!" Then, the butterfly exploded into a small explosion of pink glitters.

Sasori snapped. "Get. OUT!" He roared and made his puppet barreling towards us. Deidara waved his wand one last time and blew him a kiss. "Whatever you say, dear boy, yea."

Then we ran for it.

7. Sing the Jaws theme song in front of Kisame.

Kisame and I were sitting on the dining able, alone may I add. He's busy eating a sandwich while I'm just sitting there, doing absolutely nothing. Then this crazy idea popped into my head. Oh, I remember!

"Dun dun." Kisame turned to glare at me, but I just stared at him blankly. After one minute, he returned his attention back to eating.

"Dun dun." Kisame snapped his head up to meet mine. "Could you please stop that?!"

I looked at him, confused. "Stop what?"

"What you're- I mean- Ugh. You know what?! Never mind. Stupid." Then he continued eating.

"Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun-"

Kisame growled. "I'm warning you Midori-"

"-Dun Dun Dun Dun-"

"-if you don't stop what you're doing-"

"-Dun Dun Dun Dun-"

"-I'll."

"SHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRKK!" I screamed a blood curdling shriek while pointing at him in terror.

Kisame glared at me. "Midori, if you don't-"

But instead of stopping, I screamed louder. "IT CAN FREAKING TAAAAALK!" I yelled at him, grabbed the raw fish on the counter, and threw it at his face.

I quickly ran out of the room yelling. "You can take your wife, but you can NEVER take meeeeeee!"

8. Play dress up with Konan

"Hey, Konan. Can we please play dress up?" I asked her with big pleading, green eyes.

Konan sighed and looked up from her origami work. "Midori, you do know that you're a bit- no, way too old for that, right? And by the way, S-rank criminals playing dress up? Please. That's serious s**t. Haha."

I shook my head and gave a devious smirk. Which I probably was anyway. "I know you'd say that. Well, let's just say that this ain't no ordinary dress up. This is a way to humiliate the person you hate the most!" I raised my hands and gave the most convincing evil laugh I could muster. "Muahahaha! Muahahaha! Muahahaha!"

Konan raised her eyebrows and gestured me to go on, completely forgetting her paper cranes. "I'm listening."

I cleared my throat. "Well, apparently, the original one is you dressing up using clothes, right? Well, my version is... *dramatic pause* you use the Transformation Jutsu! And BAM! You humiliate the person by doing embarrassing things! A hell lot embarrassing things."

Konan thought about it for a while and shook her head slowly. "I still don't know how this thing will work."

I grinned and sat beside her. "Well, all you need to do is act like them. And-" I leaned forward and whispered the rest of my plan.

Konan's eyes lit up. "Well... I think I might join then. Deidara's got a hell lot to pay!"

I grinned. "Partners in crime? Well, not usual crime like annihilating villages and all that crap. But-"

Konan cut me off by raising her hand. "Please, I get it already girl."

She nodded and shook my hand with a wide grin plastered on her papery face. Not that I'm insulting her or anything. Paper powers are cool!

"Then let's get started then! Commencing, Operation: Humiliation!" I turned to get the box in my room that contains my 'clothes of humiliation'. When I'm almost out of the room, I turned back around and groaned.

"Ugh. By the way. What does that suicidal long-haired bomber do this time?"

Konan just grunted and pointed at the corner of her room. The corner part of her room is black with smoke, that obviously has been caused by a bomb. A clay bomb to be precise.

"Oh."

Midori's POV

I stood there in the center of the living room and I could feel everyone's eyes on me. Everyone is here, except Itachi, of course. I made sure he's not there, I'm not that stupid. I have already transformed into Itachi and I was now wearing a black one piece swimsuit with red clouds on it. I have entered the room earlier while performing excellent ballet plies in 1st and 3rd position as an entrance number. Then I twirled and span, and ended the routine with a split.

Ouch.

And so, here I am. Sitting on the cold floor, most of the Akatsuki staring and gaping at me, or should I say, Itachi me. Seconds passed, and they're still not doing anything, so I tried my rather retarded luck.

"Tadaa!" I yelled and did jazz hands like the show is over.

Hidan was the first to snap out of it and laughed loudly. Doubling over in laughter actually. Then he was followed by Deidara and Kisame. Even Kakuzu and Sasori snickered. Wait... Sasori? Snickered?! Is this the end of the world or something?! Well, if that's so.. that sucks.

Hidan clapped his hands in a rather retarded fashion while roaring in laughter. "F*****g Fabulous!"

Deidara nodded vigorously, snorting in laughter while grabbing a video camera. "Mind.. haha.. doing that again, hmm? Chibi-chan, yea?"

I grunted. "Aw. Dang, you figured it out too soon!" I'm about to dispel the jutsu when Hidan butted in like the ass he is.

"No! F**k no! Do that again, so we can rub it on that b*****d's face!"

I smirked at his suggestion. "Actually.. That's what I had in mind."

And so, while Deidara is recording my movements, and while the rest of the Akatsuki is laughing their ass off, I'm calmly doing what I'm supposed to do.

"Okay, okay! That's enough, yea!" Deidara snorted. "Though I hate to stop, un."

Hidan slapped his knee in laughter. "D**n right! I'll never be able to look at Itachi the same way ever again!"

"Good." I grinned. "No one will tell Itachi about this okay? Or I'll-"

I stopped short when a voice called from the hall way. "I'm back."

"Crap!" Deidara muttered while shoving the camera inside his huge clay pouch. "Itachi!"

I quickly dispelled the jutsu as Itachi entered the room, leaving me with Good & Bad news.

Good news? He didn't know what I'm doing.

Bad news? Well, I'm still wearing the one piece swimsuit.

Hidan whistled appreciatively as he looked me up and down while Itachi's lips twitched upwards. "Nice outfit, Midori-san."

I groaned. "Well, F**k that."

Konan's POV

I walked into Sasori's room, without knocking, of course. "Hey, Danna... uh.. yea?"

Sasori looked at me and rolled his eyes. "What are you up to Konan?"

I knotted my eyebrows together. "Well, that's fast." I mumbled and took a seat beside him.

"Well, you see, Midori and I had a... sort of plan. We humiliate them, being Deidara and Itachi, using a transformation jutsu. Do humiliating things and record them and all that stuff. Then, we'll make them go drunk tonight and tomorrow, we tell them this is what they did. So.. get it?"

Sasori nodded slightly. "I guess. But what does this have to do with me?"

I smirked. "Ah. You'll see." Then I winked at him. "Oh, and don't tell Itachi and Deidara that their food consists of 85% sake. It's a secret. "

9. Give Tobi his family picture.

"Hey Tobi!" I greeted the walking disaster happily.

"Uwaah! Midori-sempai! Tobi really likes youu!" Tobi ran to me happily, but I quickly moved out of the way, resulting him to bump on the wall behind me instead.

"Ah ah Tobi." I wagged my finger at him. "I don't want a hug. Anyway, I have something for you." I quickly rummaged at my pocket while Tobi kept jumping up and down yelling. "A gift for Tobi? YAY!" or "Tobi likes the explosive gifts Deidara-sempai gives Tobi everyday!"

Okay, honestly. I don't know what the hell that means, but I'm not planning to stick around and find out. I rummaged in my pocket faster. Gosh, I want to get away from this carrot munchkin, like, NOW!

When I finally found it, I handed Tobi a framed picture. "Here, Tobi."

Tobi cheered louder. "YAY! A gift for Tobi! A gift for-"

He looked at the picture while scratching his head in confusion. The picture shows 3 chairs with a basketball ball on the middle chair, a carrot on the left, and Tobi (with only one hand) on the right chair.

Tobi tugged at my sleeve. "Ne, ne sempai. What's this?"

I smiled forcefully. "Your family picture."

"Eh? But Tobi-"

But I didn't hear what he said next (Actually, I just don't want to) because I already poofed away.

10. Show the video of humiliation.

(It's now the next day! Yay! *chicken crows* *gets shot by Itachi* *gets cooked for breakfast* The chicken, not Itachi.)

I stood in front of the couch, a TV set behind me. Sitting in front of me are two certain very hung-over members. *cough* Itachi *cough* *Deidara* *cough* *cough* *wheeze* *cough* *spits phlegm at Kisame's face.*

I grinned widely. "Okay, so ladies and gentleman!"

"Hey, I'm not a lady, yea!"

I waved off Deidara's complaint. "Yea,yea whatever. So, are you ready to see the humiliating stuffs you did last night?" Or rather, what Konan and I did.

Both of them gulped and nodded. Well, just Deidara actually. Itachi just kinda 'hned' at me.

I smiled. "Okay then! Geeeet reeeaady-" I pushed the on button and pressed play. "-to see your humiliating acts of humiliation!"

The TV.. just kinda.. did nothing. I pressed the play button again. Nothing happened. I pressed it again. And again. Still nothing.

I glared at my hand. "What the heck is wrong with you?! Press the button properly!"

The hand did not reply.

In anger, I kicked the pot of plant on my left and it shattered into a hundred tiny pieces. "What the hell is wrong with this TV?!"

"250 ryos!" 'Someone' shouted from the hallway.

"SHUT UP KAKUZU!" I yelled at said person as he appeared on the doorway. I hurled the big vase I spotted on my left side at him, but Kakuzu dodged it effortlessly and the vase crashed on the wall behind him. "That's 20, 500 ryos."

I glared at him. "What?! That's even more f*****g expensive than the TV!"

Kakuzu just pretty much stared at me calmly. "5 ryos for the cuss."

I gaped at him. "What the hell?! You... You scrooge!"

Kakuzu whipped out a notebook and wrote something. "10 more ryos."

I glared at him. "In your wildest dreams you retarded mor-"

Kakuzu stared at me. I can already imagine the dollar sign (or ryo sign. Whatever.) shining in his eyes because of the upcoming cuss. Well, I ain't gonna give him that satisfaction.

"-ning breath! Ha! Morning breath! That ain't a cuss!" I pointed at him victoriously.

"5 more ryo."

"What?! You ass- assorted crayon!" Okay, that's really lame.

"You now owe me 20, 785 ryos. Interest starts.. now."

"Hey! You b*****d!" I hollered after him, while he walked out of the room.

"20, 790!"

"B**ls**t!"

"20, 795!"

"Aaagh!" I tugged at my hair in frustration.

I stormed back to the room while Itachi and Deidara stared at me.

"What?!" I snapped back.

Deidara scratched the back of his neck. "Uuh. The TV is sort of... unplugged you know, un."

I blinked several times at what he said and stared at the TV's plug. It's true. It is unplugged. "So that's why. I'm so stupid."

I swore under my breath while plugging the TV and turned it on. When it finally turned on, I pressed the play button and sat between them. My angry scowl replaced by an amused grin.

I grinned. "The show starts now guys."

(Oh BTW *TooT* means a new scene.)

*The first video shows Itachi (or me) dancing with a swimsuit on.*

The first scene shows Itachi dancing perfectly to the 'Dance of the sugar plum fairy' *Imagine this* He twirled 3 times, leapt in the air, and did 3 perfect spins, then ended the routine with a split.

*TooT*

Itachi is dancing a Spanish style dance. He kept yelling "ole!" and "ola!" while waving a red cloth.

*TooT*

*western music on background*

The scene shows Itachi on a western bad guy style pose.

. /imgres?biw=1366&bih=601&tbm=isch&tbnid=uQw_LabNlTu01M:&imgrefurl= www. /photo_8513651_ &docid=YVDjrvZwHttrVM&imgurl= us. &w=1071&h=1200&ei=ezhAUqWDOa2viQfg34GABA&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:18,s:0,i:138&iact=rc&page=2&tbnh=182&tbnw=184&start=11&ndsp=22&tx=62&ty=85

*TooT*

Then it showed Itachi ballroom dancing.

*TooT*

And lastly, pole dancing.

...

The first video ended with a loud crackling sound. By the end of the video, Itachi looked disgusted with himself while Deidara can't breath from laughter. But his laughing died down immediately when the second video started. A video of him (Konan) lap dancing Sasori. He practically fumed and stormed out of the room, with Itachi trailing behind.

Unable to curse because of Kakuzu, who is standing behind him, actually. I started to walk away too, but I tripped on something and cursed out loud.

"F**k!"

"20, 800 ryos!"

:3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3

Last minute Author's note:

So yea. Sorry about making Itachi doing something stupid. SORRY! T.T Anyway, please review, I NEED feedbacks! I need... INSPIRATIOONN! Okay, anyway. This is the end of the bonus chapter! I'll try making another one soon! Gosh! This story became so far from it's plot! Anyway, R&R! Oh, if you find any mistakes, remind me okay?