"Wow." James says, looking up at Cherno.

"Wow is the word." I murmur. "You want to go closer?" He nods. He looks excited, like we are children again and he has just received his birthday present. He has waited a few years to become a Jaeger pilot though so it's probably better than a thousand Christmases and birthdays all put together. We go closer. "Say Hi" I tell him.

"Umm, Hi Cherno?" He hesitantly takes his hand and reaches out as if to pat Cherno but then pulls his hand back. I stare at him in surprise. "I'm afraid he might… vanish, you know? I have wanted to be a pilot my whole life and I don't want this to be just another dream." I do understand because I felt the same way the first time I saw Cherno.

"That Jaeger of yours ain't going nowhere boy." I know without looking that it's Herc Hansen. I sometimes listen to him talking to Raleigh. Mako explained to me that after Chuck died, Raleigh became a sort of second son for Herc. "I can tell you for sure, son, that this is no dream." Herc tells him. I decide to give my input and give him a pinch.

"Ow! That hurt!"

"Well at least you know this isn't a dream." He mutters something incoherent under his breath and reaches out and gives him a pat.

"Good alloy that." He comments. I nod, unsure what to say.

"Yep, Striker Eureka had weaker than Cherno and Gipsy but she was much faster. Compared to her, Cherno nd Gipsy were snails." Herc says. James and I exchange a glance. Usually I would say a sarcastic comment in return, but Herc never talks about Striker Eureka. Ever. I wait to see if he will go on.

"Unique style of fighting too, with her twin blades. No other Jaeger had that."

"No other Jaeger was a Mark 5." I say. He turns to me.

"True that."

"How fast was she?" James asks.

"Very fast. All the other Jaegers walked. She ran. She could run to assist anyone in any fight and she almost always got there in time." He turns to me. "Almost always. The one time she didn't make it was in the most important fight of all. The double event."

"What?" I say.

"It wasn't even her fault. It was mine and all because I wouldn't disobey orders." He says. I can't say anything. He continues, James and I listening, unable to tear ourselves away. "We saw Crimson go down and Cherno were one against two category 4's. I knew they were in trouble but I didn't want to disobey orders. Our orders were not to engage and I was uncertain. Chuck wanted to go straight away but I didn't go until they called for backup. We ran at top speed but a Kaiju reared up and…. Crushed them."

I don't know what to say. I can't speak or move.

"But, you had your orders." James says.

"Screw the orders!" he shouts loudly and James jumps violently. "Jaeger pilots have an unspoken promise to protect each other, even if it means disobeying orders. They would have done it as soon as they saw me in trouble so why didn't I do it for them? My hesitation killed them! I have had to live with that guilt for 16 years, knowing my hesitation killed my friends and made their child an orphan!"

"You didn't kill them." I say. "You didn't save them but you didn't kill them either." I want to say it isn't his fault. I want to say that they could have died later anyway. But I can't because even though he didn't kill them, I can't help thinking what would have happened if he had got there. They could be alive.

"I'm not asking for forgiveness, I'm asking for understanding."

"Is that why you didn't become Marshall?" James asks.

"No. I was not worthy of it. Not after that." I look at him. This is a man who has lived though two Kaiju wars, the death of most of his friends, the death of his son and lived with guilt for 16 years. Herc is just a man who has been broken by war. I can't blame him for their deaths.

"You didn't kill them, the Kaiju did. I….forgive you because I know they would too and I don't think you should keep blaming yourself." He nod and goes off. I am left alone with James and Cherno.

"You introduce me to a Jaeger and one of the most important men on base reveals his secrets. I wonder what the world will do when we start piloting." It's a lame attempt to make me smile but it works anyway.

"Probably have a heart attack." I murmur. "I'm going to go and…. Walk around for awhile."

"You want me to come."

"Thanks, but I think you should get better acquainted with Cherno. We did come here for that after all."

"Ok." He says and I walk out of the exit and face the stormy ocean. I sit on the edge of the road and wonder if the sea looked like this the night my parents died.