"Dean.. take Sammy and run as fast as you can.. Now Dean! go!"... the voice reverberated in his ears as he stared at his own reflection in the mirror in the wash room..
" take care of Sammy Dean.. "...
" You're my big brother..."
" You were supposed to take care of Sammy!"..
" The extents am willing to go for you and Dad.. the things am willing to kill for this family..."
" I always trust you and I always end up screwed..."
" There IS no Sam..."
" They DON'T need you! Not like you need them!"
the voices were screaming in his ears... Mom. Dad... Sam.. Ezekiel... Kevin.. the Yellow Eyed Demon..
They were screaming inside his head...
Every loss... every failure..
" Am disappointed in you Dean.. You were supposed to look out for Sammy..
CLASH!
The mirror was crashed in pieces as Dean stood in front of the broken frame in the bathroom of a crappy motel room in some part of nowhere.. the sides of his hands bleeding profusely..
Dean just continued to look at his broken reflection in the pieces of the mirror..
Ironically.. they seemed to be reflecting him.. his life... broken in pieces.. they all seemed to be screaming at him for some kind of answer.. some reaction..
"You were supposed to look after Sammy Dean..."
the voice still boomed in his ears..
Dean.. the big brother.. always watching out for his pain-in-the-ass younger brother.. the one for whom he was even ready to go to hell.. how the hell could he allow something to happen to him.. he should have researched more about Ezekiel before letting him in Sam.. told Sam about it before.. found some way before only.. known about it before only..
" I should have known Sammy.. I should...".. Dean's voice choked as he felt the tears threatening to betray him.. As he slumped against the wall behind him and dropped on the floor.. unable to find that strength in him to carry on.. the strength to get up again..
" Am sorry Sam... I let you down.. I let Kevin down.. I should have.."
The tears at last betraying him as the last words of Ezekiel reverberated in his ears..
" There is no Sam.."
As the picture of Kevin lying dead before him flashed upon his inward eyes..
" What am I supposed to do.." Dean murmured to himself..
" WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!"
The scream echoing in the empty room..
" Dean..", little four year old Dean looked up from his toys and saw his mom sitting right beside him..
He immediately flung his chubby arms for her.. signalling her to take her in her arms... His mother most affectionately pulled sweet little Dean in her arms..
" Dean.. baby.. Mommy needs to tell you something.."
Dean looked at her expectantly... it must be some be some new toy or something..
" what mommy?", chirped toddler Dean..
" Mommy and Daddy.. are... are going to bring somebody new in the house in the next few days baby.."
Now this seemed something different than a toy..
" Who mommy?"
" Umm.. let's see.. it maybe a little baby boy... we don't yet know baby.. but we are thinking it would be a baby boy"
" Would mommy daddy love Deanno less then?", baby Dean almost seemed on the verge of crying.. how could some sudden new little boy come in his house!
" hey.. hey.. who told you that my baby? you know how much mommy daddy loves u?", Mary said as she lovingly stroked the hair of her elder son..
"uhhuh..", little Dean slightly tilted his head on a side..
" for all this years mommy daddy loved only Deanno.. now mommy daddy and Deanno together are going to love the little baby.. right?"
Dean was still looking at Mary blankly.. but at least now he knew that mommy daddy are not going to love him less...
" what would the baby call me mommy?", he inquired innocently..
" Deanno, you would be the baby's elder brother buddy..", Mary replied as she gently patted the back of her son.." Even when mommy daddy is not there.. He would have you Dean.. but you gotta promise me something baby.."
" What mommy?"
" The baby is going to need you to be strong and good to him.. sometimes.. sometimes.. he is gonna fall.. or.. or hurt himself.. then he is going to look up to his big brother to help him out of it.. promise me Dean that you would always be there for your baby brother.. that you never gonna let go of him.. Promise?"
Little Dean remained quiet for a moment..
"Yes mommy! I promise!", the enthusiastic toddler chirped with delight..
Mary cuddled her smiling son in her arms tightly.. smiling to herself.. she knew that Dean would still need sometime more when the new member at last came in to the family.. but she knew one thing for sure at that moment.. Little Dean would never forget about this small promise.. even when he grew up..
Dean never would...
" Mommy I promise!...", the words faintly echoed in his ears as he felt a trickle flow down his eyes..
Dean had no idea what was the promise or when he had made some promise to his mother.. all he remembered was he had promised.
promised to be there.. promised to not let go..
He slowly stood himself up with the support of the wall.. he has to.. he has to go out there..
He washed his face in water and picked up his duffel bag from the floor.. turning towards the door of the room.. it's been three days that Ezekiel had taken Sam.. he needed to find him and get Sam back.. and he was going to d anything to make sure of that.. anything..
Dean had lost many people in his life.. Sammy was definitely not going to be one of them.. not while Dean was still breathing..
" Am never gonna let you go Sammy.. am going to be there for you.."
Dean repeated to himself as he took a last look at the room which had been his hiding spot for the last three days..
But now it was time he faced reality for his brother..
Dean has to go on..
Save Sam..
This is what he is supposed to always do..
Always be there for Sammy when he falls..
" Am gonna bring you back Sammy..", this time iron determination coating his voice and reflecting in his eyes as he finally stepped out of the room..
As he stepped out to fight again..