Chapter 3

The cavern was dark – but that was no obstacle for Illarion as he stripped his still unconscious mate of his human rags. He felt compelled to wash the boy, to rid him of the scents of blood, filth, and so many strangers.

The pool was warm, the convergence of a hot spring and melting glacial ice, the perfect temperature for bathing. He washed his mate thoroughly with sand from the floor of the pool and an herbal concoction that contained three drops of Illarion's own blood.

It was a ritual cleansing, a rite not enacted in these caves for over fifteen hundred years.

When they were both dry he settled his mate into a deep pile of furs. He finally lit a torch, a concessions for non-dragon eyes.

He had to wait for the boy to wake to continue the mating ritual but in the meantime… he ran a clawed hand gently down a lightly tanned arm… he supposed there was no reason he could not familiarize himself with his mate's body while he waited.

Xander dragged himself to a sitting position noticing that he wasn't dead and that his head really, really hurt.

He heard movement behind him and ran a hand over his face, bracing himself for whatever came next.

He was facing a normal looking wall with some booths against it which really didn't jive with the cold attic they'd been in last time he was conscious…

Ah wait… there had been a bright flash of light and then a jumble of images followed by a head injury.

Someone cleared their throat behind him.

Xander sighed and then used his heels to spin him around on his butt until he faced the other occupants of what now looked to be a bar. Looking at the twelve or so other people he decided that they could all probably break him in half – even the women.

He sighed again.

He was never going to meet a normal girl – ever. Hell, he probably wouldn't know what to do with one if he did anyway. What was funny was that they were all looking at him like he was the dangerous one – wasn't that a hoot?

"So," he said leaning back on his hands, "anyone care to point me in the direction of some aspirin and my little brother? And by little I mean size 'cause we're supposed to be twins but I don't know about that and I couldn't even guess who was born first – ". Xander saw eyes starting to cross so he shut up.

He took a deep breath.

"Where's Harry?"

See, he could stop the babble if he so chose.

"He's safe," the only other non-blonde in the room answered, "I shall retrieve him shortly."

Xander quirked an eyebrow, "Retrieve?"

"An associate of mine had business with him. Do not worry, he means no harm."

Xander really, really, really didn't like the sound of that.

He growled.

Then yipped in shock.

Then slapped both hands over his mouth.

"What the hell," he yelled. Of course the words were muffled by his hands and he was sure no one understood him but who cared? He'd growled… like a dog or something.

The dark haired man moved closer, staring at him hard.

Xander could understand the look but it didn't mean he had to like it. His hands slipped down and he growled again, louder this time.

"Careful there," the man tutted, "your aspect is showing."

Xander blushed, eyes and hands shooting down to his pants… to find himself perfectly covered.

"Oh for- your aspect, your animal self."

"What? I don't have an animal self! Nope! No fleas for the Xan-man or howling at the moon either… I am all human baby. Yep – human with a capital H."

The other guy quirked an eyebrow, "So how do you explain the killer fangs there, huh?"

Xander yelped again and promptly stabbed his index finger with a fang – an honest to goodness fang.

"Oh god! What color is my eye?"

"Mmmm, brown-"

"Whew."

" – with a ring of bright green."

"What? Damnit! She's supposed to be gone! Giles said she was gone! I am not doing this again!"

"What are you talking about?"

Xander ignored the man. Sitting up into a lotus position he closed his eye and focused inward.

Almost immediately he found himself in the jungle of his mental landscape. Tara had said each person's mental environment was different, he just couldn't figure out why his was a jungle. He wasn't very jungle-y. It was night here, which it had never been before during his other visits. The faceless soldier was there, which was normal, sitting by a camp fire and whittling something.

And there was the hyena, in all her glory, sitting next to the soldier and nearly as big.

"You!" he yelled, pointing at the animal, "You're not supposed to be here! You're supposed to be gone!"

The hyena cackled, "Silly boy."

Xander stumbled back and fell on his butt. "You're talking – how are you talking? Why are you even here?" The brunette admitted that was a little whiney – but damnit!

"I have always been here Xander – just locked away in this jungle until that spell released me."

"But that other spell was supposed to get rid of you! And it did! Giles did the spell and 'poof' you were gone! Why aren't you still gone?"

Another cackle, "No spell can remove me – hide me away but not remove. I am here to stay pup – but do not worry. I'll not be attacking your friends this time… unless of course you want me too?"

"Wha… no! No! What are you talking about?"

"Xander," the soldier said – and without a mouth that was always freaky, "calm down and listen to me."

Xander took a deep breath and nodded. He wasn't really calm but freaking out on soldier never got him anything except the silent treatment.

"You have always though of the hyena and I as outside forces – malignant spirits that took over your body."

"Well yeah."

"But this is not the case. We are parts of your personality that were separated – walled off from the main a long, long time ago."

"How long?"

"A former life, long."

"Oh."

"Things are changing Xander and more aspects of your former self are going to be waking up. You must listen to what they have to tell you and use the gifts that come with them but you will have to be strong, you must no let them overwhelm you."

"Oh, you mean like you both did when you woke up?"

"Exactly."

"And how do you suggest I stop that, hmmm?"

"We will help," the hyena said.

"But you must be vigilant. Extreme emotions – anger, fear – will bring the aspects forward in a rush, making them harder to control and even harder to integrate into your mind. Hyena and I will never fully integrate now due to the way we were awakened. You need to stay calm," the solder advised.

"Yeah 'cause the Xan-man is so cool under pressure."

"You are – when you choose to be," the hyena chastened. "You are on a new adventure Xander with a clean slate. Harry, your brother, does not know you and has no expectation of you. You must choose, do you want to remain the clown or do you want to continue the path you started with the zombie gang and took up again in Africa. The Clown has served you well but it is time to put him aside and become what you were meant to be again."

"Choose," the soldier commanded, "Clown or King."

Xander came back to reality with a start, the soldier's words ringing in his ears.

King or Clown.

Clown or King.

The man who had spoken to him before was now crouched in front of him and Xander really wasn't in the mood to drag this encounter out.

"You need to go get my brother – right now."

Savitar had no idea what was going on in the boy's head, but before his impromptu meditation session Xander had had waves of 'innocence' and 'don't hurt me' vibes rolling off him, but now… now he had a definite 'don't fuck with me' air… and Savitar was inclined to do as he was told in this case.

A god on a tear could destroy the world with a little work… if the stories were true then the damage the twins could cause, even inadvertently, was infinitely worse.

"I'll just be right back then."

Xander just nodded.