"my love only for you.."

Chapter 13: Lust

'Bluewoof: So, basically, you're saying that the plot development is slow.

JulietZhang: Yep. Come to think of it, it's already chapter 18 and there are no smut scenes between both your characters.

Bluewoof: I don't know how to write that type of story. It's hard for me to imagine that scenario.

Bluewoof: and again, it's a T-rated story.

JulietZhang: Oh, come on. Get laid already!

Bluewoof: Shaddap Spider!

Bluewoof: Oh, I got to go. My doctor will come to check on me for my morning check-up, so I better take my shower. I smell like crap.

JulietZhang: See you again, pup!'

Logging out from her social network account, Natsuki put aside her laptop and reached for a towel neatly folded on the bedside table. After stripping from her normal ward clothes, she walked into the bathroom, and thus began her morning routine of taking a shower, the waiting for her doctor to come and after that continue to write another chapter for the story. She found that spending her time writing a story about the characters she had known from the manga Shizuru gave her was quite entertaining and somehow felt different. There were many plots, many possibilities and circumstances from the story and she could control the story and how it will develop further from a mere prologue. At first she was having a hard time on how to write a fanfiction story and how to maintain her account, but as time went by, she became accustomed to it. Granted, she met new friends or more like social network friends. JulietZhang is one of her few new social network friends, who always chats with her, exchanging new ideas and sometimes they talk about everyday life and experiences.

Although they never seen each other, Natsuki now felt comfortable with opening up to people around her. To Natsuki, JulietZhang was such a wonderful friend who understood her and had more experience in life, in which she lacked right now. As the warm water from the shower washed over her skin, her mind drifted to her doctor and their encounter, how they spent their days in comfort with each other and how gentle Shizuru had been towards her. Closing her eyes, Natsuki hummed her favourite ballad song while picturing Shizuru's face in her mind. The only song she knew.

-0-0-

Slowly, Shizuru pushed open the door and silently walked into the room. She knew every morning, Natsuki will take her shower, and if she was fortunate, she will be greeted with a nice view of Natsuki with her hair freshly wet out of the shower. But, sadly, after all this time when she had reached Natsuki's room, Natsuki was already dressed in her ward clothes, so she didn't have an opportunity to see Natsuki's naked form or at least, clad only in a towel. Well, today, she expected it will be the same. Scanning the room, she was in a panic when she didn't see Natsuki at her usual spot on the bed. After a moment, she heard a sound from the bathroom. Closing the distance to her target, she leaned her head on the door frame and concentrated to study the sound from the other side. A husky voice humming a slow tune with the background sound from the shower. Such a beautiful melodic voice that could calm anyone's heart. Or was it just Shizuru who thought so. The sound from the shower then stopped, indicating that the person inside the bathroom had finish cleaning her body.

Ah~ her body. Shizuru eyes were gleaming as she imagined how Natsuki's body would look like. Every curve, every soft and white patch of skin that was hidden under those ward clothes.

Maybe Natsuki will come out of shower naked with few drops of water seductively dripping from her hair, running down her porcelain skin to her very perky, nice valley and then reach that sexy curved waist just waiting for her to devour.

Ara! Shizuru snapped from her daydreams and hurriedly ran to a nearby window when she heard Natsuki's footsteps nearing the door. As the door opened, Shizuru eyes widen at Natsuki form in front of her. Although her imagination was wilder than what the reality showed her, nevertheless the view of Natsuki's body only clad in a towel in front of her betrayed every imagination she had earlier. More so, the form in front of her is shining like a goddess. The victim however was unaware of the culprit still silently staring in awe at her. Shizuru could feel her throat going dry, her heart beating fast with her breaths becoming shallow with every intake and her face burning up. Getting rid of the disturbing feeling, Shizuru inhaled deeply, closing her eyes and steadied her racing heart.

No..no..stay away from her devil Shizuru! Opening her eyes again, she exhaled slowly. It was a bad move as a moan escape her mouth and her victim immediately turn towards the sound. Emerald eyes widen at the sudden event. Shizuru look deeply into those eyes, unable to form an excuse. After a while those two beautiful eyes snapped and a deep red hue coloured Natsuki face.

"I..IEEEEEE!" Natsuki shield her front with both her arms. "What are you doing here?! Get out!" the bewildered Natsuki shrieked, distancing herself from the doctor.

Now with a fluster face, Shizuru tried to swallow the lump she felt and tried to lighten her voice. It's better to talk gently and not sound like... like.. a perverted old man.

"M-ma. Natsuki..." her voice still deep and sultry. Iyada, I can't control my voice. A teardrop formed at the back of her head as her mouth crooked into a weird grin. "I arrived here the same time as always for...for..ah~ I..I mean for your morning check up." She could feel her face freezing.

"Haa?" green eyes shift toward a clock on the wall. After a moment, the tense up Natsuki's glare disappeared and change into a relief as she sighed. "G-gomen. I was late waking up this morning. J-just give me a moment to change into my clothes."

"H-hai" Shizuru still answered awkwardly, her eyes focused on her ground.

Please, don't devour her. Please, don't do anything stupid that will severe your bond and her trust on you. Shizuru repeat the same prayer inside her head. When Shizuru heard a rustling sound from opposite side the room, she turned around immediately and squeeze her eyes fiercely. Please...please..please..don't do it..

"I'm done."

Steadying herself, Shizuru turn toward her patient and approaching her. Her hand gripping her stethoscope tightly until her knuckle turned white from the force. "H-Hai. E-excuse me." red orbs focus on the wrist as an attempt to avoid a gaze from Natsuki.

"Eh? Shizuru...?"

"W-what?" Shizuru fidgeted.

"Why with the formality? Are you okay?" came a tilting voice from Natsuki

"I'm..I'm fine. Very well then..." although Shizuru tried her best to lighten her voice it still sounded annoyingly deep. She still couldn't rid of the image inside her head. Looking at Natsuki, her eyes focus on Natsuki's alluring neck. A drop of water slowly, painfully, seductively dripped from the blunette's hair onto the crook of her neck, stopping at the bottom of her neck. Shizuru gulped at the sight.

Yohko's voice resounded at the back of her head.

"Ne, Shizuru. How long has it been?" Yohko's voice brought about the honey brunette's attention. "So, how do you feel? Satisfied? Feel something boiling inside you?"

Looking at the mirror, Shizuru stared at herself in the white lab coat that was already tainted by blood; Shizuru could feel something has indeed left her that day. She felt calm, as if something was satisfied inside her. But now, that disturbing feeling returned again.

Help me... Her inner self plead inside her head at the feeling. Please stop me right now before I do something I will regret later. Yohko-sensei. She prayed.

"Anoo...Shizuru"

The concern voice from Natsuki was suddenly too much for her to bear and with her last barrier crash, she lunged forward, managing to pin Natsuki on her bed. Red fiery eyes poured into the shocked green ones as Shizuru's hand trapped both Natsuki's arms above her.

"S-Shizuru! What...aahh~" the question was left unfinished as Shizuru dip her head to lick the moisture on the bottom of Natsuki's neck that was painfully taunting her. A hoarse moan escaped Natsuki's mouth. Shizuru took the moan as an encouragement for her to go further. Bitting the soft skin gently, Shizuru moved her ministration to Natsuki's neck toward her nape.

"S-Shizuru...p..please..s..stop" Natsuki weakly tried to push Shizuru off herself. Her voice cracked and tear pool in her eyes.

The view managed to snap Shizuru out of her madness. Abruptly rising to her feet, she distanced herself far on the opposite wall and hugged herself. "N-Na" she shivered, gripping her lab coat. "G-gomen" Shizuru plead between her sob as she clamp her mouth with her hand. Feeling guilty and afraid to look at Natsuki because she know that she will only receive a betrayed look from her, Shizuru immediately ran and flee from the room.

-0-0-

JulietZhang: Wow! She left just like that?

Bluewoof: Hai. I still don't understand what happened. It's already been 4 days since my doctor hasn't visited me. Yohko sensei came to take over her task again, but whenever I asked her she just said I'm stupid or I'm so dense or worse "I didn't know illness could make humans so stupid". Really, I'm clueless on what really happened.

JulietZhang: Hey pup! Could it that be you are virgin?

Bluewoof: Shaddap spider!

JulietZhang: Yeah. Yeah. I tried to sound concerned here. You sure are dense.

Bluewoof: To hell!

JulietZhang: Don't tell me, you've never fall in love before?

Bluewoof: What does that have to do with how my doctor is acting? It's unrelated.

JulietZhang: Ohooo...you think so? It's not even crossed your mind that your nice doctor might fall in love with you?

Bluewoof: 0.0. But, we're both women.

JulietZhang: So, is it impossible to fall in love with someone of the same gender? Listen here, pup. Put all the pieces together, like how she reacts around you. How she always likes to hug you, how she comforts you... and the most obvious one, what had happened before she disappeared.

Natsuki eyes widened at the text wrote by her friend. Putting all pieces together, she now realized how she had been too blind and never saw all the obvious hint from Shizuru. But, they were both women. How can a woman fall in love with another woman? Can she accept those feelings? And can she return the same kind of love towards Shizuru?

JulietZhang: You still there?

Bluewoof: yeah.

Bluewoof: But, how this can be?

JulietZhang: You tell me. Put the gender aside, how do you feel towards your doctor?

How I feel...?

Bluewoof: I don't know. I like being around her, she is so kind to me and I've never had any friends before her. I feel comfortable with her and she always makes me smile.

JulietZhang: Do you feel something warm inside your chest? Like something fluttering in the pit of your stomach. Or some strange feeling you couldn't describe when she hugs you? It's called love, pup

Something clicked inside Natsuki's head. Reaching for her phone, she called the doctor's private number but sadly the voicemail answered her phone.

"Shizuru, I want to see you now. Please. Where are you? I'll go looking for you. no matter where you are. Please, don't avoid me." Natsuki left her messages after the voicemail answered the phone call again. It was already night and the rain pouring heavily outside the building made the temperature cooler than most of the night. Without caring for the cold temperature, Natsuki left her room and ran towards Shizuru's office. The office was locked and when she opened the door, she found nobody inside the room. Frustrated, Natsuki's thought drifted back toward the Emergency Room.

Maybe, Shizuru transferred there again.

As Natsuki reached the Emergency Room, her clothes were already soaking wet from the rain when she crossed the road towards the building. Scanning the ever still havoc Emergency Room, Natsuki couldn't find the familiar brunnete that she missed so much.

"Miss..." her head jerk around at the rather masculine voice. "Can I help you?"

Natsuki read the name tag on the lab coat.

" , I need to see ."

"Dr. Fujino? Ah.. she was here earlier, I think she said she need to go somewhere, ermmm..."

"Arigatou" without waiting for the doctor to finish her words, she continued searching for Shizuru. Running towards the hall, Natsuki accidently ran into a male doctor on her way. "Hey! Wait.."

Ignoring the call, Natsuki hurriedly left the place. Her heart racing and her body felt heavy and hot. Feeling tired, she tried to support her weight by leaning onto the wall. She could feel her breaths quickening before finally her legs surrendered and she land on the floor. Darkness plagued her mind as her eyes began to close.