Chapter Two: Unforgivable Nonsense

And so, Life at Hogwarts slowly started to become familiar to me once more. But I was a shell of who I used to be. I laughed and smiled but I couldn't talk the way I used to or joke or make light of things. I was constantly in my head and though I wanted to share things with Nicola, it was also tougher to talk to her than usual. I didn't want her to have the burden of dealing with my depression. And I couldn't write to my brother, Chris - not when he was so mad at Dad for dying in the first place.

So I stayed in my head and just went through the motions. Thankfully, I wasn't throwing up in response to Sirius Black's face anymore because he was in all of the same lessons as I was. I didn't notice until the second week, when Nicola headed off to Arithmancy and I headed down to the Greenhouses and bumped directly in to Black and Potter. Black jumped back immediately and held his hands up. I looked at him questioningly and he smirked.

"Is it safe? Or are you going to puke your guts out?"

Potter laughed loudly and I smiled.

"I reckon you're safe, this time."

"You and your mates are weird people. First Hobbs gets a Bertie's Bean stuck up her nose and then you're puking when you see my face. It's never got that reaction before, has it Prongs?"

Potter chuckled. "Not from girls, at least."

I tried to smile but annoyingly the 'Day That Should Not be Mentioned' was in fact mentioned, and my eyes were beginning to feel a little itchy.

The silence seemed to bother both boys, so I wasn't surprised when Potter said, "So, headed to Herbology then?"

As we were outside and the only place left to go was the Greenhouses, it seemed quite an obvious answer but I nodded anyway.

"Yes, same as every Tuesday."

"We're in all the same lessons, you know," Potter said conversationally.

I paused and thought about it. "I guess we are, I hadn't realized."

"Sirius is in them too."

"Yes but thankfully you haven't noticed or I'd need to fetch you a waste bin to throw up in," Sirius joked.

I smiled again.

"So, are you going to be an Auror too?" Potter asked.

"Don't know. Are you?"

"Oh yeah, I can't wait!" James said, puffing up his chest. "It's such an exciting job - right there in the middle of the action! Danger lurking around every corner, being a hero in the middle of one of the most brutal wars in history. Blimey, it's going to be brilliant."

"Sure," I mumbled. "Excuse me." And with that, I took off running towards the Greenhouses focusing as hard as I could on the tip of Professor Sprout's hat that was just visible through the glass. Unfortunately, I wasn't a very fast runner and James Potter had an extremely loud speaking voice.

"Something I said?" he asked Sirius.

"Don't know mate, she's a bit off this year," Sirius replied.

"Did you know her much before this one?"

"A bit, yeah. I pulled a bean out of her mate's nose, remember? Oh, hang on..."

"What?" Potter said curiously.

"Mate, I think that Auror…from the news this summer…"

"Oh Blimey, Tom Willoughby…was that her…"

"Yeah, I think so."

Thankfully, James and Sirius stopped talking when they reached the Greenhouse and simply stood behind me quietly. Soon, the rest of the class started arriving and neither James nor Sirius had attempted to engage me in further conversation. Although I'd started to get used to people coming up to me with condolences, for some reason it made me uncomfortable to think of these two carefree boys I barely knew, doing the same. If they said anything, they wouldn't really be sorry, they just thought they ought to be. It wasn't as if we were friends or even anything more than casual acquaintances, so how could they be expected to feel for me in the slightest?

We were harvesting Snargaluff pods today, and I was working with two Gryffindor girls: Jennifer Crawley and Mary MacDonald. To my relief, both girls were quiet and didn't feel the need to make small talk. Unfortunately however, Jennifer was also very busy twirling her hair at Black and so, in an attempt to look attractive forgot that she and Mary needed to hold back the sharp vines so that they didn't strangle me when I reached for a pod.

"Oops! I'm so sorry Bridget, I wasn't paying attention," Jennifer said, when I emerged with a black eye and a bloody lip.

"Are you having a laugh? The bloody thing was strangling me! Did I twirl my hair and bat my eyelashes at some bloke while you were the one getting the pod?" I said, furiously pushing my tangled hair off my face.

"Bridget, she didn't mean to, please calm down," Mary MacDonald put in timidly.

"I don't care if she didn't mean to – the thing could have fucking killed me!" I snapped, exhaling loudly.

"Language Miss Willoughby," Professor Sprout said sharply. "Five points from Ravenclaw. Now hurry up and crack open your pods, there's only twenty minutes remaining."

Muttering irritably to myself, I stomped away from my group to find a knife to pierce the pod with. Sirius Black and James Potter were standing by the plant nearest to the gardening tools and Potter handed me a long, sharp knife as soon as I reached them.

"It works best," Potter said nonchalantly, before returning to their own Snargaluff and doing a complicated little spell to hold back the vines for him. Black however, was staring at me.

"What?" I snapped at him.

"Did you just have a go at Jennifer Crawley?" he asked, raising his eyebrow at me.

"Yes. And maybe if you paid her the smallest ounce of attention, she wouldn't be so bloody starved for it and would remember that there are other people in the universe," I said cuttingly before walking away from him.

I was in a foul mood by the time I met Nicola and Arron for lunch in the Great Hall after an incredibly chaotic Charms class and so, simply nodded along with their conversation and took my frustrations out on my meal.

"How was Herbology?" Nicola finally asked after I didn't laugh at Arron's very good impression of Professor Binns falling asleep mid-lecture.

I shrugged and stabbed my half eaten sandwich with a toothpick to avoid looking at her.

"That's a pretty impressive shiner you have, were you Muggle dueling?" Arron put in. He started to chuckle but stopped when Nicola elbowed him in the ribs.

"What happened?" Nicola asked.

"That blithering idiot Jennifer Crawley was too busy eying up Sirius Black to stop a Snargaluff from attacking me," I muttered.

Arron chuckled again, making face at Nicola when she elbowed him harder.

"Well you can't expect much more from a Gryffindor, Little Bridge. As brave as they're supposed to be, some of them don't have many brains, do they?" Arron joked.

I shrugged, unable to find my sense of humor during my awful mood.

"Are you okay, Bridget?" Nicola said softly, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Will you stop asking me that?" I replied quite loudly. "No, no Nicola, I am not okay. I'm not going to be okay, so just leave it alone. Stop trying to make it all better!"

I hadn't spoken loud enough to cause a commotion, but a few nearby Ravenclaws stopped eating to look at me. I scowled at them, pushed my sandwich away and picked up my bag. But Nicola wasn't having that.

"No, sit down Bridget! Look, I know…I know things are awful for you right now, but you've got to stop pushing me away. I just want to help and I can't keep letting you bite my head off for being concerned about you," she said sharply.

I sighed heavily and looked at her defiant face and saw Arron looking down at the table, uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry. I know…I just…I can't help the way I feel and it doesn't help to keep trying to pull me out of this mood because to be honest, I don't think I'll ever be in a good mood again," I said, rubbing my face. I was suddenly very tired and lessons weren't even over for the day.

Nicola patted me on the back and sighed. "I'm sorry too Bridge. I'll try to be more patient. I just miss you. I miss the way it used to be," she said quietly.

I laughed a little bitterly. "Well, 'used to be' is long gone, Nic."

She nodded soberly and exchanged a glance with Arron who looked a bit lost for words.

"Look, sorry guys. I'm just in a really wretched mood."

"Want me to duff up Crawley for you?" Nicola joked and I chuckled. She beamed at this and hugged me.

"I love you, you know?" she said.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, yes but sadly Arron is standing in the way of our love."

They both laughed and I smiled, picking up my bag again

"I'm going go for a bit of a wander before Defence. I'll see you lot there?"

"Yeah, see ya Little Bridge," Arron said, waving at me as I walked away. Thankfully, I escaped the Great Hall before I could overhear them talking about me.

The new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor was an old, very traditional wizard who had taught at Durmstrang for thirty-five years before he was fired for some undisclosed reason. The rumor that had been floating around Hogwarts, was that he was fired for some form of a sexual relationship with a student, though the thought of this was so horrific to some people, they preferred to think he was just forced in to retirement. Of course, Hogwarts couldn't seem to keep a Defence Professor for more than a year and therefore, no one was surprised that Dumbledore had agreed to let him teach, despite the fact that his previous post was at a school that famously supported the Dark Arts.

Professor Aalgaard hadn't impressed many students so far because most of his lessons had been very biased lectures and he rarely demonstrated any spells during practical lessons. I found his classes to be a horrible waste of time and was quite annoyed at Dumbledore for finding such an unsatisfactory Professor for my NEWT year. Aalgaard didn't particularly like me either, especially as I'd only received an A for my OWL. Even though Flitwick had informed him of my situation, he seemed to call on me for answers more often than others and sneered if I got them wrong. He also seemed to have a vendetta against the normally adored Remus Lupin, though I wasn't sure why. I doubted Lupin had got less than an E for his OWL.

I arrived just in time for the last bell with Potter and Black right behind me. I ignored Aalgaard's look of disdain and slid in to my seat beside Marlene McKinnon as the boys passed by me to join Lupin and Pettigrew at the back of the room. Nicola waved from her seat next to Arron and I gave her a little smile before pulling my book, parchment and quill out of my bag. I had no hope that we would have a practical lesson today as the blackboard already read: "Quills out." Professor Aalgaard rose slowly from his seat, walked to the front of the room and sat on the edge of his desk.

"Take notes," he said gruffly. "Today we will be addressing the Three Unforgivable Curses. Though to say they are 'unforgivable' and give only Aurors the right to use them is rather a contradictory statement." He looked disgusted at the word Auror and pursed his lips before glaring at a girl seated in the middle of the room.

"Evans, name one."

Lily Evans, a very pretty redheaded Gryffindor put down her quill and said, "The Imperius Curse, Sir."

He grunted at her and pointed at Remus Lupin. "You, boy. What does it do?"

I turned around to see Lupin ball his fist before answering in a level voice, "It allows the caster to gain complete control over their victim's mind and body."

"No," Aalgaard barked. "The curse controls only the victim's mind. The mind is what has control over the body." He then turned away and pointed at Black.

"Black, name another Unforgivable Curse."

The way he said Unforgivable sounded so sarcastic I wanted to punch him. He seemed to croon when he spoke about the Dark Arts and it made me sick.

"Cruciatus," Black said, without his usual drawl. He looked much more uncomfortable than usual, stiff and hyper-aware of his surroundings.

"McKinnon, explain."

"It's a torturing curse. The caster can inflict excruciating pain on someone," Marlene McKinnon, another Gryffindor girl with fiercely determined eyes, said from beside me.

Aalgard gave a nod, finding nothing wrong with her answer and then gestured to Nicola.

"And the last curse - Hobbs?"

Nicola glanced at me for a fraction of a second before giving the answer in barely more than a whisper.

"Louder Hobbs!"

"Avada Kedavra," Nicola said audibly. She had a horrible look on her face that was reflected in many people around me. It was probably on my face too. It only got worse when Aalgaard turned slowly and walked right up to me, placing his weathered old hand on my desk.

"And Willoughby…what does that curse do?"

I looked very hard at a spot on the table to avoid losing my temper and lashing out at him. He was doing this on purpose. My dad, one of the Aurors that he seemed to have such disdain for, was killed by this very curse and Aalgaard knew it.

"It's the killing curse," I said in the calmest voice I could manage.

There were a few gasps and Aalgaard walked smoothly back to the front of the room.

"There you are - Imperio, Crucio and Avada Kedavra. If you are not a licensed Auror and are caught using any of these curses you can be subject to a Lifetime in Azkaban. They are powerful curses, no doubt, but do not let the news and the literature scare you - they are curses that are obsessed about too greatly."

He stared at us, letting his gaze drift from face to face, a small smirk playing on his lips. I was going to throw up if I had to keep listening to this.

"You can fight off the Imperius curse with a little brain power - it's merely a case of committing to the act of shaking someone else's control over you. The Cruciatus curse is painful but not so much so that with a strong will, you cannot fire a spell back at the caster. And Avada Kedavra - only weak witches and wizards will allow themselves to be close enough to be killed with just one spell."

"NO. YOU'RE WRONG," a voice yelled. And then, I realized it was my voice and I was on my feet, pushing my chair back and glaring at the ridiculous, insensitive and completely ignorant Professor.

"Willoughby, I will not be spoken to that way. Twenty points from Ravenclaw."

"Take all the fucking points you want, you ignorant, imbecilic moron!" I yelled back, my face on fire. I was so angry that I could not keep my hands from shaking at my sides. I barely even noticed that I was swearing, let alone talking back to a teacher – something I would have never normally thought of doing.

"Take away another twenty and have a detention, Willoughby, now sit down!"

"No! I will not sit down. I will not let you tell us that people who have endured these curses - people who have died because of these curses, are weak or stupid! They're called Unforgivables for a reason! They are evil, awful, completely debilitating spells that should not be allowed."

"Young lady- you are letting your personal life get in the way of my teaching. Just because your family has been involved with one of these curses and you feel a certain way, does not make you right," Aalgaard yelled sharply back at me. "Now, I will ask you one more time to hold your tongue and sit down!"

"I won't," I said defiantly. "You're wrong. You're so wrong it's absurd. And don't you dare talk about my family!"

"Get out of my classroom - I will be speaking to your Head of House," he roared, his face redder than a tomato and his straggly hair standing on end.

"Gladly!" I said, grabbing my stuff and shoving it unceremoniously in to my bag. As I stalked out of the classroom, I could see and feel every pair of eyes on me and for once, I just didn't care.

I walked slowly and very deliberately to Ravenclaw Tower in order to calm myself down a little bit. I knew that there was no need to get so worked up over the words of an ignorant, Dark-Arts loving fool. I would gladly never go back to his class even if it meant giving up my favorite subject. How dare he criticize my Dad?

I was barely in the dormitory for ten minutes when the door flung open and Nicola was staring at me, her face wild with a mixture of panic and excitement.

"I walked out. We all did, actually - every single person in the room."

I stared at her in confusion. "What?"

"You were brilliant for telling him off. He was such an ignorant idiot, I could barely believe those words were coming out of his mouth."

"Me either. I can't believe Dumbledore hired him."

"That's what Black said!" Nicola said, joining me on my bed.

"Black?"

"Oh Merlin, you missed it! He went off on a rant as bad as you, right after."

"Sirius Black…as in the same Sirius Black who has never looked remotely interested in anything any teacher has ever said?"

"The one and only. It was brilliant, very…Black."

I rolled my eyes. "What does that mean?"

"I mean...you know how Potter always causes a big commotion in classes – makes everyone laugh, plays the fool?"

"Yeah…"

"Well…Black sort of commanded everyone's attention in the same way. But the way he spoke to Aalgaard was so condescending and honestly a bit intimidating. If you had seen the way his eyes were flashing..." she shuddered but her face was still excited.

"What did he say?" I said, feeling a little strange.

"Well, after you left, Aalgaard said that you were too wrapped up in your own problems to separate yourself from the class material and before he said anything else, Black stood up and said, 'Well, she was right though, wasn't she?' And Aalgaard asked if he wanted to join you in detention and Black said, 'If that's the consequence to standing up for something I believe in then, yeah. You're an old fool who has no idea what it's like to feel the kind of pain that the effects of those curses cause. You're so wrapped up in your cushy lifestyle of teaching that you have no idea how to prepare us for what's really out there. Telling us that if we get tortured or possessed or simply killed, will be because we're weak is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. Willoughby was right - you are completely ignorant. You should be ashamed of yourself - in fact, I'm ashamed of Dumbledore for even thinking of hiring you. I bet if he'd known your clear intentions beforehand he wouldn't have let you within five feet of us.' "

I stared at Nicola's bright face and tried to picture Black giving this long speech when he was usually a man of few words.

"And then Aalgaard said that he'll be speaking to McGonagall about Black and tells him to get out of his classroom too. And so Black says, 'gladly' just the way you did and then looked around the room at everyone and said, 'In fact, I think we should all go...' and just like that, we all picked up and left. Lucky the Slytherins are in a different class or it wouldn't have looked nearly as dramatic."

I laughed at that and shook my head. "Wow…I didn't think he had it in him."

"Me either - I always thought he was like, just a very pretty guy who didn't speak much because he was extraordinarily dim or something. But then I found out he got 7 O's and then he does this. It's too bad you don't still have a crush on him - I would completely approve!"

I laughed again. "Would you believe, I actually feel as though I'm in a good mood now. Maybe all I needed was to yell at someone."

We both laughed at that and went down to the Common Room to play some Wizard's Chess before meeting Aaron in the Library for our free lesson before dinner.

A/N: Thanks for reading, review if you want to!