DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CSI:NY OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. I DO HOWEVER OWN SAMANTHA FLACK AND BABY KIERAN

SPECIAL THANKS TO HOPE4SALL FOR LENDING ME HER OC KARLY SHEDD FROM HER MAC/OC STORY, UNEXPECTED

SPECIAL WELCOME TO DAYTIME DRAMA

Cleaning out the closet

"Passion or coincidence
Once prompted you to say: "Pride will tear us both apart"
Well now pride's gone out the window
Cross the rooftops
Run away
Left me in the vacuum of my heart
What is happening to me?
Crazy, some would say
Where is my friend when I need you most?
Gone away
But I won't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive
Papers in the roadside
Tell of suffering and greed
Here today, forgot tomorrow
Ooh, here besides the news
Of holy war and holy need
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk."
-Ordinary World, Duran Duran

Flack couldn't sleep. Despite the exhaustion from being up early that morning to take care of Kieran to make sure that the car was loaded up and nothing had been forgotten, than the drive to the airport in Phoenix rush hour and the long, turbulent flight home, he found it impossible to fall asleep. Too many thoughts and worries surging through his mind. Danny's threats echoing in his ears. The dire warnings of what would happen to him at the hands of his best friend replayed over and over again. Flack had been sincere in his insistences that he would never, ever cheat on his wife. Not with Angell, not with anyone. He loved Sam more than life itself. And the thought of not having her in his life nearly broke him. And the thought of not having his children in his life…that thought was even worse.

All of that one his mind, mixed with the fact that his wife had done nothing but toss and turn from both heartburn and discomfort, had found him lying in bed beside her in the dark, his hands behind his head and eyes wide open, staring at the moonlight cascading through the window. Occasionally, when she'd whimper or moan in her sleep, he'd reach out to stroke her hair or her back and whisper to her that everything was okay, that she was safe and no one was going to hurt her as long as he was there. And when she'd finally found a comfortable spot and position to lie in and she was completely silent, he slipped out of bed and threw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and headed from the bedroom.

He made himself a travel of mug of coffee and grabbed his pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the top of the fridge and retreated outside. Cursing himself for being so damn weak that he couldn't give up such a nasty damn habit. That it plagued him and he was nothing more than an addict to tar and nicotine. But he was determined to beat it this time around. He had made a vow, to both himself and his wife, that he would quit before the triplets came along. He had noticed how winded he was becoming chasing suspects, and that he had developed a rather horrific smoker's cough that kicked in first thing in the morning. Sam held off on the nagging, but she had expressed concern more than once about his health and had declared, near tears, that he wasn't going to be around to see any of his kids graduate from high school if he kept up with the pace he did.

She was nearly seventeen weeks now. Considering, by the research on line that Flack had done about multiple births, that triplets were delivered by c-section usually no later than thirty-three weeks, his wife was already half way through her pregnancy. Sixteen more weeks to go and there was still so damn much to do. Weekly doctors appointments for her and bi-monthly ultrasounds. Baby stuff to purchase and no room to but any of it. A house to go searching for so that four children didn't have to share one room.

A nearly two pack a day habit to quit.

Flack sighed at that thought as he brushed snow off of the small, two person swing that Sam had insisted he buy her for her last birthday. Grabbing a rusted tin coffee can from the corner of the balcony, he sat it and his coffee down on the ground before sitting down and shaking a smoke from the package.

It was bitterly cold out. His breath and smoke visible each time he exhaled. He sipped steaming coffee in between drags on the cigarette and tried desperately to sort the thoughts and worries and feelings out in his weary, troubled mind.

The sound of the sliding door, followed by screen opening tore Flack from his self-torture. He glanced over, giving a small smile as his wife stuck her head out into the cold night. Her face was getting chubby for the rapid weight gain she was experiencing with the triplets. Her hair was messed from tossing and turning and her eyes were puffy from sleep. But to Flack, she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life.

"What'cha doing up, Tinks?" he asked. Using the term of affection he'd adopted for her after someone had told her she was no bigger than Tinkerbell, the fairy from Peter Pan. She'd been highly offended, even more so because Flack had burst out laughing at the comparison, and while at first she argued with him about calling her that, it had slowly grown on her.

"One of the babies kicked me in the bladder," she replied. "Made me have to run for the bathroom. Than when I realized you weren't in bed I thought maybe you got a call out and either I didn't remember you waking me up, or you didn't bother to."

"I always wake you up if I have to leave in the middle of the night, babe. You know that. You know I can't leave without telling you I love you."

She gave a sleepy smile. "What are you doing out here? You couldn't sleep?"

"I think I have some insomnia going on," he told her. "You should go back to bed. You and the babies need as much rest as you can get. Not to mention it's freezing out and I don't want you getting sick. That's the last thing you need. "

"I know…but I was worried about you. Are you going to come back in soon?"

"In a little while. Go back to bed, Sammie."

"I'll be back in a minute," she said and disappeared from the doorway.

"Didn't you just hear me tell you to go back to bed?" he called after her.

"I did," her voice drifted outside from the living room. "But when do I ever listen?"

He smirked and hurriedly finished his cigarette and butted it out and tossed it into the tin can at his feet. Looking over once more several minutes later, as his wife, in a pair of pink Ugg boots and his winter jacket over top of her flannel pyjamas and a white ceramic mug with the words Worlds Best Mommy written on it in her hands, appeared once again at the screen door.

He got to his feet quickly and went to help her. The last thing he wanted was her having a fall and something happening to her or those babies. He took the mug from her and offered his other hand, which she curled her fingers around before he assisted her stepping out onto the snowy balcony.

"Always a gentleman," Sam said with an appreciatively smile as her husband let go of her hand and placed his on the small of her back and helped her down onto the swing. "I'm not that pregnant yet, honey," she reminded him.

"Better to be safe than sorry," Flack reasoned, taking a seat beside her and handing her the mug. The aroma of peppermint and chocolate permeated his senses. "I think I got you addicted to that stuff," he said, nodding down at the drink in her hands.

Two weeks ago, he'd been in a Starbucks when the woman in front of him had ordered a hot chocolate with a peppermint tea bag dropped into it. He'd taken the chance that it was somewhat half decent and decided to purchase one for his wife, leaving it on her desk for her to discover when she took a break. Ever since than, he was constantly stopping off at the store for mint tea bags and instant hot chocolate.

"It's my crack," she declared and took a sip.

"You really shouldn't be out here, babe," Flack said. "You get sick and you'll be down out for a long time. Both you and the babies don't need that."

"Me and the babies are fine," she assured him, mug in one hand, as she curled her other arm around his bicep and rested her chin on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" she asked. "You've been kind of quiet all night. And when you didn't feel like making love, I was seriously thinking you'd come down with the plague or something."

"I'm just tired, Sammie. I didn't think I'd be able to give you the attention you deserved. And I've got a lot on my mind and I seriously didn't want to be making love to you and unable to clear that shit out of my head."

"But it's not me, right? I mean, you don't find me disgusting or anything, do you? I know that I'm getting pretty big really quick and that's a lot for you to deal with and I can understand that if you don't want to touch me or anything."

"What?" he looked down at her in disbelief. "I can not believe you just said that. That you'd even think that."

"Can you blame me? You're not usually the one that can't get into it. You're always ready and raring to go. For you to not want to bother, I just thought maybe you…"

"Samantha, listen to me. You are the most amazingly sexy and beautiful woman in the world. I wouldn't care if you weighed five hundred pounds. I will always love you and always be attracted to you. Don't ever doubt that. Tonight had nothing to do with you, babe. And everything to do with me."

"Are you sure? Because if you feel that way, Donnie…"

"I don't feel that way," he insisted. "I will never feel that way. It's me, Sam. All me. Okay?"

"Okay," she said and kissed his shoulder. "Are you going to tell me what's going on then with you? Because you've really got me worried about you."

Flack sighed heavily. "Babe…we really gotta talk," he said, his voice low and dead serious.

Her eyes widened and she released her hold on his arm and sat up. "See," she said. "I knew that you were pissed off at me," she pushed him away from her and stood up. "I knew that there was something going on with you. You do find me repulsive!"

"What?" he couldn't help but laugh. "Are you crazy?" he grabbed a hold of her hand and tugged her back down. "That's not what this is about. I'm not pissed off, I don't find you unattractive or unappealing. Get a grip, Sammie. Get a grip and just sit there and listening to what I have to say. Okay?"

She nodded. Her body trembling from both cold and nervousness.

"Honestly, babe," he said, laying a hand on the back of her neck. "There's nothing wrong between us. It's just something that if I don't deal with know, it could cause some major issues with us and I don't want that."

"I don't want that either," she told him. "That's the last thing I want. After everything we've just been through with Kieran and getting ready to have babies soon, the last thing we need is something tearing us apart."

"Which is exactly why I need to tell you what's been bugging me. And I just want you to listen to me. I don't want you saying anything or interrupting me. Alright?"

She nodded.

He took her free hand in both of his. "You know how I told you that Angell and I dated, right? That we spent a few months together."

"And I told you that that didn't bother me and that…"

He laid two fingers of his free hand over her lips to silence her.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly, kissing his fingertips before he took them away. "I'm a Ross. It's hard for me to shut up. Go ahead, baby."

"When Angell and I were together, we obviously, you know, had sex."

"I would be surprised if you didn't," Sam said, than grabbed his hand and laid it over her mouth to keep her quiet.

He couldn't help but grin at her actions. "After Angell and I broke up, right after I met you and we started dating, she told me that she was pregnant."

Sam's eyes widened.

"She wasn't sure if it was mine," he added quickly. "Around the same time she'd been with me, she'd also been with two other guys. And girls too, but that's besides the point."

She pulled his hand away from her mouth. "Excuse me?" she cried. "Girls too? What…?"

"Come on. You can't tell me you didn't know, hanging out with her like you do, that you didn't know she was into women too."

"What?!" Sam couldn't wrap her head around that piece of information.

"I'm seriously surprised you didn't know. And that she didn't put the moves on you. You're actually her type."

She shook her head. "You're kidding right? Tell me you're kidding."

"About the pregnancy or the fact she swings both ways?"

"Both!"

"I'm dead serious, Sammie. Both things."

"Jesus Christ. You think you know someone. Not that it bothers me. But it would have been nice to be in the know. And this baby thing…"

"Angell didn't know if it was mine or not. I told her that if she had the baby and a paternity test proved I was the father, that I would take responsibility. That I had no intention on being with her, but that I wanted a part in my kid's life."

"So you wouldn't have…"

"Broken up with you and to be with her and the baby?" Flack asked. He shook his head. "That was never an option. It was only you, Sammie. Even than. I would have walked through hell for you even than. I was never going to be with anyone but you. You believe me, right?"

She nodded. "So what happened? Did she loose the baby or…"

"She had an abortion. It was strictly her choice. I never once suggested it. You know how I feel about that."

"You always said that no matter what was wrong with our children we'd have them regardless. I don't doubt your version of things, Donnie. I know you'd never suggest something like that. Were you upset? When she miscarried?"

"A little," he admitted. "I guess in a way, I wanted it to be mine. So I could be a dad."

"But what would that have done for Kieran?" she asked.

"What do you mean? We would have still had K. That wouldn't have changed."

"I mean would you have loved him the same even if he wasn't your first born?"

"Sammie, K is K. I'd love him as much as I do if he was my tenth kid or my first. You know that. And Kieran was conceived out of love. He wasn't something that happened by accident. Well…he was kind of an ooops but still, two people that were in love made him. Angell and I? I don't even know what we were. There was no chance of forever there. So I would have loved K just as much as I do now."

"Do you think it was yours, Donnie? In your heart or hearts?"

He sighed. "I honestly don't know, Sam."

"Wow…" she said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Finding this out…wow."

"Would you have still married me if she had have had the baby?" Flack asked. "Would you have been able to deal with that?"

"I love you, Donnie. You having a child wouldn't have changed how I felt about you."

He smiled.

"And had you had a child, I would have loved that baby and accepted it," she told him. "You know that right?"

He nodded and laid a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her into him and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Thank you," he said. "For letting me get that off my chest. And for not freaking out about it."

"Why would I freak out?" she asked. "You and Angell happened before we met."

He sighed heavily and laid his forehead against hers.

"Oh God…" she groaned. "Please tell me that something didn't happen between you and her while we've been married, Donnie. Please tell me that you didn't screw around with her behind my back."

"I didn't have an affair with her, Sammie. I'd never do that."

"But?" Sam drew away from him, tears welling in her eyes. "There's a but, isn't there."

He nodded.

She bit her bottom lip and fought back her emotions. "Donnie…please don't do this…"

"When Kieran was missing, when I thought for sure that he was dead, I went down to the chapel. That night that the nurses were fighting with you to take those sedatives. I went down there to just get away. Clear my head. Find salvation. Find something. And Angell found me."

She shook her head, gripping his forearm tightly. "Please don't do this," she begged.

"It was a moment, Sammie. Just this small moment. I was distraught about Kieran and worried about you and Angell was there and she said some things about finding K that really touched me and I just reacted. I wanted to take it back as soon as I did it."

"What did you do?" she asked, eyes narrowed.

"I kissed her. I'm not proud of that. Trust me. But it was nothing seriously. It wasn't romantic or passionate or anything like that. It was a simple kiss. And I told her right away that I shouldn't have done it."

"And?" she pressed. "And?"

"And she grabbed me and kissed me. And I kissed her back."

"You bastard!" she hissed, releasing her grip on his arm and jumping up. "How the hell could you do that to me!"

"Keep your voice down, Sam. It's two in the morning. The neighbours don't…"

"Fuck the neighbours!" she snapped. "And fuck you too for doing that to me! I needed you! Our son was missing! Kieran was missing and being molested by that sick fucking bastard and you were off trying to get into Angell's pants! Fuck you, Don!"

"That's not what happened, Samantha," Flack grabbed a hold of her wrist to keep her from heading for the door.

"Don't fucking touch me!" she ripped her arm out of his grasp. "How could you do that to me! While our son was missing! While I'm pregnant with your children! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"It was just a kiss, Samantha. That was it."

"Did you like it? Were you into it? Did you enjoy it?"

"Why the hell…"

"Tell me!" she yelled. "Tell me! Did you? Did you like kissing her? Tell me!"

He sighed and reluctantly nodded.

"You sonofabitch!" she screamed and before he could react, slapped him across the face. "How could you do that to me!" tears spilled down her face. "She's my friend! How could you do that me, Don?"

"I never meant it," he slowly rose to his feet, ignoring the sting of his face as he reached out and wrapped his arms around her trembling body, a hand on the back of her head, holding her face against his chest. "I swear to you I never meant it, Samantha."

"How could you do this to me?" she sobbed. "Why? Why would you do it? You don't love me? You don't want to be with me? You want to be with her? What?"

"I love you more than life. You know that. More than life baby."

"And you show me by kissing another woman!" she shoved him away from her. "That's how you show me you love me? Would you have slept with her? Had it gone that far? Would you have done it or said no?"

"I would have said no and you goddamn well know that," he snapped.

"Do I? Half an hour again I would have sworn up and down you would never hurt me like that. And now I don't know anymore! What have you done? What have you done to us?"

"I'm sorry, Samantha."

"You're sorry?" she laughed dryly. "You're sorry? So am I. I'm sorry that I ever trusted you. I'm sorry I ever believed all those times you promised me you'd never hurt me. I'm sorry we ever met."

"Don't say that, baby," his voice and his voice pained. "You don't mean that."

"You're right. I don't. Because without you, I wouldn't have Kieran. And he means more to me than anything else in this world. He's the best thing you've ever given me. I thought that you and your love was the best thing. Now I know what a fucking stupid, naïve little girl I was."

"I do love you, Samantha. You're my wife. You're the mother of my children. I love you wholly and completely. It was just a kiss."

"One kiss is enough." she told him. "That's enough."

"Don't walk away from me," he pleaded as she turned and headed for the door. "Please don't walk away from me.'

"If I don't, Don, I'm probably liable to kill you."

"Are you going to leave?" he asked, sounding terrified at the thought. "Are you walking out on me?"

She paused, her hand on the handle of the screen door. "I honestly don't know," she said, and without a glance back, opened the door and slammed it shut behind her as she disappeared inside.

He stared after her for what seemed like an eternity. Than he sat down on the swing and put his face in his hands. And cried.

When he finally returned inside an hour later, with no tears left to cry and his heart shattered into a million pieces, Flack found his wife back in their moonlit bedroom. In the middle of their rumbled bed, lying on her side with her back to the door, crying softly into her pillow.

He approached the bed slowly and cautiously. Walking around it, he knelt on the floor at the side of the bed so that he and his wife were at eye level and reached out and gently touched her hair.

"Why?" she whispered. "Just tell me why, Don. Why would you do that to me?"

"It was a moment, Sammie. And I know that's a lame excuse. But that's all I have. It just happened. It happened and I reacted. Badly."

She sniffled noisily. "Do you love me?" she asked. "Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you love me?"

"I love you, Samantha," he told her, blue eyes intently focused on golden ones. "With everything I am and everything I have. You're my wife. The mother of my children."

"But do you love me?" she pressed. "Outside of all of that? As a person? As Samantha the individual. No titles. Do you love me?"

He leaned across the bed and kissed her softly. "More than I could ever tell you," he said.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled, reaching out to touch his face. "For slapping you. I never should have done that. I just reacted. I was so hurt and so angry. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he told her, and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"No, it's not," she cried. "It's not okay. I'm scared. I'm scared of what's happening to us. I don't like this. It feels like we're disintegrating and I can't take it."

"So we'll get some help." he said. "We'll take to the therapist. We'll get past all of this crap that's been happening."

"What if we don't?" she asked.

"We will," he replied confidently. "We always get past crap."

"I'm scared," she whispered. "I don't want to lose you."

"I'm the one that's going to lose you," he said. "Don't walk out on me, Sammie. Please. I need you. I need my son. I need my Huey, Duey and Louie."

She managed a small smile.

He kissed her softly. "Please don't leave," he whispered, his lips to her forehead.

"I won't," she promised. "But I am tired."

He nodded in understanding and stood up. "I'll let the four of you have the bed and I'll go and sleep on the couch."

"No," she protested, grabbing his hand. "Don't. Please don't. You know I hate sleeping alone."

"Sammie, after what all went down…."

"I need you," she said. "I need you here with me. Beside me. More than I've ever needed you."

He didn't respond. At least not with words. He simply shed his clothes and tossed them in the laundry and than lifted the comforter and climbed into the bed behind her. He lay on his side and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and pulled her tight against him.

"Please just hold me," she pleaded. "I need you to hold me."

"I'll never let you go," he vowed. "Ever."

She closed her eyes and prayed to God that that was the truth.

With Carmen running behind, stuck in the trace lab waiting for important tests results to come back on a case she'd got that morning, Samantha decided to take a wander around her place of employment and seek out some familiar faces to chat with and catch up on the last five weeks of lab gossip. The place was hectic and chaotic, but each person she hunted down was genuinely happy to see her and to welcome her back and were sensitive in their questions with anything that regarded what had happened to Kieran. With such a high profile case, there'd been no possible way of keeping every little detail a secret. Most steered clear of mentioning the molestation, while a couple of the less sensitive souls that clearly possessed neither brains or common sense, seemed a little too interested in that aspect of the abduction.

Sam ignored it and simply smiled politely and assured them that Kieran was doing fine and would continue to do fine. And she was sure of that herself. The internal injuries that he had suffered had almost completely healed now and he was experiencing less and less pain and discomfort each and every day. The family doctor was keeping him on a once a month schedule for blood work since Jack Doyle's own medical tests had shown that he suffered from syphilis and hepatitis. And because the sick bastard hadn't used a condom when he…

Sam pushed those thoughts out of her mind as she headed for Mac's office. She could see him, through the glass walls, at his desk with the phone pressed to his ear and his fingers flying along his computer keyboard while his eyes were intently focused on the screen in front of him. She refused to let herself think about what Jack Doyle had done to her soon. Or at least she didn't allow herself to dwell on it. It had happened and she couldn't take it back, and while it was going to take a heal of a lot of time to heal emotional, at least all wasn't lost. A therapist that Chester Lake knew personally through Special Victims had left a message while they were aware, anxious to set up sessions for the entire family, and just for mom and dad as a unit. Flack was planning on calling the man back that morning and setting something up.

I wonder if he handles marriage counselling, too, she thought as she raised a hand to knock on the open door to her boss' office. Because I think we're sure as hell going to need it before we kill each other.

Mac looked up from his typing and smiled warmly at the familiar face standing in the doorway. He held up a finger indicating to give him a minute to finish things off.

Sam waited, hovering in the doorway, as he finished off the last of his typing and saved his work and told the party on the other end of the phone -whom she assumed was Stella by the soft, loving tone to Mac's voice and the genuine smile on his face - that he'd have to call them back because someone very important had come to see him. He hadn't gone as far as saying I love you, but Sam knew that the "Me too" he offered up shortly before he hung up, was just as good as those three words in Mac Taylor's book.

"Do you have a couple minutes, Mac?" Sam asked hopefully as he turned towards her.

"For you I have a lot of minutes," he responded. Pushing his chair away from his desk, he stood up and met her in the middle of the room. He gathered her tiny body into a protective, fatherly hug. "Good to have you back," he said, than chuckled as he felt a flurry of activity in her stomach that was pressed against him. He pulled back and looked down. "Looks like someone else is here to say hello to me, too."

Sam smiled sheepishly. "They do that a lot now. It started one night while we were away. Sometimes it's just one, but most of the times, it's either two or all three."

"Well with a kick like that, someone in there is going to be the next David Beckham," Mac laughed. "How are you? How was your vacation?"

"Nice. Relaxing. We had a good time for the most part. It was a welcome change spending time as a family without having to worry about Donnie getting a call out in the middle of things. How have things been here?"

Mac motioned for her to take a seat in the chair in front of his desk. And waited for her to sit before returning to his own chair. "Busy," he answered. "But if it wasn't, I'd be concerned. I got the message you left me last week. About wanting to be put in the lab as soon as possible."

"I thought I'd be able to work longer this time around," she sighed. "But I already look six months, Mac and with three of them in there…this pregnancy is considered high risk and I don't want to be doing anything that puts my babies in danger."

"That's understandable. And acceptable. We can have the same arrangement that we did when you were pregnant with Kieran. You can work out of yours and Danny's office. You can be my personal liason, of sorts."

She smiled. "Thank God. I was hoping you'd say that. I couldn't be stuck working as a lab tech, Mac. That would drive me insane."

"Well we don't want that," he said with a smile. "I was talking to Flack this morning at our scene. He was telling me how good Kieran is doing. Especially healing wise."

Sam nodded and cleared her throat uncomfortably. "He's almost there. Don and I on the other hand. We're no closer to healing now than when it first happened. Sometimes I think we're even farther away."

"There's no set time limit on dealing and coping with things," Mac told her. "You've all been through a hell of an ordeal."

"I just want us to be the way we were, Mac. And I'm afraid…I don't know. I'm afraid that's never going to happen."

"Give it time," he encouraged. "You're both strong, tenacious people. In time, this will only make what you have stronger and bring you closer together. I also told Flack that if there's anything either of you, or Kieran needs, that my door is always open and neither of you should hesitate to come to me. Understand me?"

She gave a small smile and nodded.

"And the way that things were handled, when Kieran was missing, by some of the members of the team…"

"It happened, Mac. I'm trying my best to not be so bitter and angry about it."

"I want you to know, and I told Flack this morning, that that behaviour was not tolerated in my lab. Or within the media. Specifically with Reed Garrett. He's agreed to go on public record with an apology."

"How did you manage that?" she gave a small laugh. "Go all Marine Mac on him?"

Mac gave a smirk.

"Sorry," she blushed slightly. "I just couldn't resist that. But whatever you did do, thank you. Because that hurt, a lot."

"I know. Flack told me how bad you took it. And I was telling him, and now I'm telling you, that the members of the team that exercised such blatant stupidity and disregard, were hauled in to Sinclair's office and were each written up and given a warning that that behaviour was not appropriate, and if happened again, suspensions would be in order."

Sam blinked at the fierceness in Mac's voice. "Even Stella?" she asked.

"Even Stella. Her actions at the hospital, completely unacceptable. The DA and I had already gone over the evidence and there was enough to nail Doyle without processing Kieran. He didn't need to be put through that. And I'm sorry that she acted the way she did and upset both you and Flack. I hope both of you know I was not supportive of her decision."

"Both Don and I know that you wouldn't have done anything to hurt Kieran even more," Sam said. "And for you to take those steps with Stella."

"At work she's my employee first. Wife second."

Sam nodded in understanding. "How is she? I didn't see her around and I was wondering how she and the baby are doing."

"Stella's on maternity leave now," Mac told her. "Last Friday was her last day. She's seven months long."

"Wow," Sam shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe all that time has passed by. When someone else is pregnant it goes so fast, when you're pregnant it just drags. But she's okay? Her and the baby are fine?"

"As far as I know," Mac said.

Sam frowned.

He sighed heavily. "Before you hear it from the office grapevine, Stella and I have separated."

Her eyes widened. "Because of her getting in shit for acting the way she did?"

"That," Mac nodded. "And a lot of other things. We've been living under separate roofs since you and Flack left for Arizona."

"Jesus, Mac," Sam breathed. "I'm sorry. I didn't think that there were problems between you. I thought you guys were happily married and excited about being parents. I didn't realize there were issues."

"We're both very good at hiding things," he said. "It's been going rapidly down hill almost from the beginning. And it's not that we don't love each other. It's more that we just can't seem to live together. If that makes sense. Things are better the way they are right now."

"Do you think you'll get back together?" she asked. "Or are you looking at it as a permanent thing or…?"

"I just don't know right now," Mac replied. "I just don't know."

"I always thought that after all the years you two spend loving each other but not doing anything about it, that if there were two people in the world who would make it, it would be you and Stella."

He smiled. "The strange thing about it, is that Stella and I always said the same thing about you and Flack."

"I wish I could tell you that I agree with you. But honestly Mac, sometimes I don't know if Don and I are going to make it. I mean, I love him so much. I can't imagine my life without him. I just wonder if maybe Don and I would be better off apart than we are together."

"He loves you Samantha. And he wouldn't be able to live without you."

"I like to think that," she sighed. "But some days I just don't know."

"You're just feeling a little down from what you went through with Kieran," Mac told her. "Mix that in with pregnancy hormones and it's a near lethal combination. Things will start to get easier. I promise. And coming back to work will take your mind off of things."

"I'm sure," she said. Not wanting to go into the issues with Angell and how she'd spent the majority of the wee morning hours in tears. "I should go," she got to her feet. "Carmen and I are meeting for lunch."

Mac got to his feet as well and walked her to the door. "Glad to see the two of you are back on friendly terms."

"It's a slow process," Sam said, pushing the strap of her Guess purse up onto her shoulder. "But we're working on it. I really hope things work out with you and Stella, Mac."

"Only time will tell," he sighed and pulled open the door. "Glad to have you back, Samantha. Eight o'clock tomorrow. Everything will be ready for you."

"Thank you," she said with a smile. "I appreciate it."

"And keep your chin up," Mac called to her as she headed out into the hall. "Things could always be a lot worse. What doesn't kill us will make us stronger."

"God I hope so," she sighed and gave a small wave before journeying down the hall.

"Mac's having an affair."

Danny made the shocking announcement as he and Flack were driving back from interviewing a witness in Staten Island. Cups of coffee in the cup holders by their seats and static on the PBR.

Flack cast a doubtful glance at his best friend. "Get outta here," he said.

"Would I lie about something like that?" the CSI asked. "I don't gossip and make shit up. You know that. I am telling you that because I know for a fact that he is."

"Stella know about it?" Flack inquired.

"It's one of the reasons she booted his ass on out of the house."

"Whoa…whoa…" Flack eased his foot down onto the brake as the unmarked squad approached a red light, the tires sliding slightly on the black ice under all the snow. "Slow down for a second Messer. What do you mean she booted his ass out?"

"Just after you and Brooklyn took off for Arizona I guess her and Mac got into it. Mostly about her getting hauled into Sinclair and written up over her bullshit at the hospital that day. I guess it got pretty nasty and she brought up the fact she knew about this girlfriend that she knew he had on the side."

Flack shook his head, trying to comprehend what he was hearing. "How'd she know about the girlfriend?"

"Who knows. But she knew and kept it back for months apparently."

"What? For months? He's had another woman on the side for months?"

Danny nodded and sipped his coffee.

"Man, of all people that I thought would have more morals and class," Flack snorted.

"Goes to show you that no one is immune to that kind of shit," Danny commented. "Is it wrong of me to say that I'm not surprised? And that I'm somewhat on Mac's side considering the way Stella has been as of late?"

"You mean the way she's been a cold hearted, mean, spiteful bitch?" Flack asked.

"Tell me how you really feel, Flack," Danny chuckled.

"She's been that way for a long time," the detective said. "That just didn't start a few months ago, Messer."

"True. Very true. But I gotta say, this new girl of Mac's?" he nodded appreciatively. "She's not bad."

"How the hell would you know?"

"Montana and I ran into them about a week back when we hit Times Square to grab a bite to eat and do some shopping. He was all dressed down and relaxed and smiling and laughing. He was not Mac if you know what I mean. Holding her hand, giving her small kisses and all. Her name's Karly something or other."

"What's she like?" Flack asked.

"She's nice. Real bubbly and down to earth. Kinda witty and sarcastic. Keeps Mac on his toes I can tell. She said she was studying at Julliard. Getting her Doctor of Musical Arts or some shit like that. Plays violin for the New York Philharmonic. Mac says she's damn good, too."

"What's she look like?"

"I'd say five six at the most, hundred and twenty if that. Long brown hair, brown eyes. She's really pretty. And really young."

Flack arched an eyebrow. "How young is young?" he asked.

"She's younger than Brooklyn. By at least a few years."

"So let me get this straight. Mac Taylor, your boss, who is seventeen years older than me and has a wife and a kid on the way, is having some mid life crisis and has hooked up with some young, hot thing?"

Danny nodded. "Pretty much. Scandalous, huh? What's going around that place that none of us are happy with what we have? Me and Erica went down the shitter, now Mac and Stella…"

"You and Erica went down the shitter a long time ago," Flack told him. "And Mac and Stella…well who the hell knows what's up with that."

"Than there's you and Brooklyn."

Flack looked at his friend out of the corner of his eyes. "I resent you putting me and Sam in the same category as the mess that was you and Erica," he said.

"Come on, Flack. You're marriage is a mess at the moment and you know it. From what you told me about what went down last night over the whole Angell thing, you're just damn lucky your wife is even sticking around. Lots of women would have kicked your sorry ass to the curb."

He sighed heavily and stared out the windshield at the snowy expanse of road in front of them.

"What are you going to do about it?" Danny asked. "About putting your marriage back together?"

"We're going to see a therapist," Flack replied. "We've got our work cut out for us. Trying to rebuild the whole trust thing all over again."

"Think it can be rebuilt?" the CSI asked.

"I sure as hell fucking hope so," he responded. "I don't want to lose my family."

"At least you're willing to work on shit. And what about this crap with Angell?"

"I told her I'd come over to her place to talk in a few days."

Danny arched an eyebrow. "Just talk? Aren't you afraid she's going to put the moves on you?"

"I know how to say no, Messer. And besides, I've got some back up. Some support. I'm not going into it alone, or blind."

"Good," Danny said with a nod. "Good luck. You're probably going to need it."

Flack hoped in hell he didn't. Because luck didn't seem to be on his side.

Thanks to everyone that is reading and reviewing! I appreciate each and every one of you! Even the lurkers! Please drop me a review folks! It makes my day!

And check out my new story! It's a little different, but as fun as hell to write!

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